


Drawing Short Straws

by The_One_Eyed_Wolf



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Hogwarts, Hogwarts First Year, Hogwarts Second Year, Marauders' Era, Original Character(s), Remus Has a Brother
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2019-09-17 21:05:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 35
Words: 101,963
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16981779
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_One_Eyed_Wolf/pseuds/The_One_Eyed_Wolf
Summary: Remus Lupin has had a pretty shitty life. Some of it sucked more than the rest, but there were good moments too. Yes, He's drawn the short straw, and he keeps getting curveballs, but he barely had the chance to draw a straw at all.





	1. Unlucky Draws

**Author's Note:**

> I'm new to this site , so bear with me as I figure it out.  
> I basically got bored one day, ran out of stuff to read, and started writing. More to follow, Usually update 0300-0500 UTC on Mondays. Enjoy( please)
> 
> Disclaimer:All characters and locations belonging in the Harry Potter universe are the property of JK Rowling

Two small boys ran through the backyard of a country home in Devon, chasing each other in circles.

"Romulus!" a man called from the window, drowning out the giggles of the boys "Your mother's here."

The taller of the two sandy haired boys turned sadly, not wanting to leave his playmate.

"Comin dad" he called before turning to the other boy. "Race you."

The children were picked up one at a time as they came crashing through the backdoor and into the house. The motion was well practiced after a few too many things had been sent spiralling towards the floor by speeding children. Convinced that they had calmed down enough to be released, Lyall Lupin set his sons down on the kitchen floor.

"Come on Rom, we have to go home now." Aster Betts stood by the door, her long brown hair tied up in a bun and her jacket around her waist as the rain from earlier had stopped.

Romulus looked at the floor, his hair falling into his crystal blue eyes.

"Ok mom" he turned to his brother for a hug "Bye Remus. I'll come back to play soon" The last sentence was directed hopefully at his parents.

"Bye Rom. Hope so too."

"No problem kiddo. Now let's get home." Aster bent to pick up her son and his bag, then began the long walk down the lane.

"Remus, what do you say to helping me get dinner on before your mother gets home?"

"Depens'. What we makin'?" Lyall ruffled his hair and lifted him onto a stool.

"Depends. What do you want to make?"

* * *

Remus went to bed shortly after Hope had returned from her class's field trip, the afternoon having tied him out. He fell asleep to the chirping of crickets and the soft hooting of owls.

* * *

Remus woke suddenly several hours later. He lay in the still moonlight, trying to figure out what had woken him. He would remember a nightmare, and he couldn't hear any noises that would wake him up, come to think of it, he couldn't really hear any noises but the soft rustle of leaves that was the gentle wind providing his room with a breeze.

Just as he was about to drift off to sleep, a soft thump came from outside. Then a scratch at the wall outside his window. Then a scream. Remus couldn't tell where the scream was coming from because he was more concerned about the silver-furred, golden-eyed beast that had leapt into his room and whose fangs were sunk into his shoulder.

Crashes and thuds sounded from down the hall. The bedroom door was slammed open and there was a BANG and a flash. And then nothing.

* * *

When Remus woke days later, he was blinded by pain and bright lights in his eyes. People were talking everywhere, carts with rattling wheels came and went, and the smell! The antiseptic was overwhelming.

Remus woke again a few hours later. The sounds and smells were still there, just damper.

"Remus? Remus?" his eyes went from fluttering to wide open at the sound of his mother's voice."Remus! Oh, I'm so glad to see you awake! Your father just popped out for a doctor. He should be back any minute now." Remus' s mind was scrambling.  _Where am i? Why is mom crying? Why does it hurt so much-_

"Remus, can you hear me?" a middle-aged gentleman with greying black hair and glasses was looking down at him. "can you hear me?" Remus tried to speak, but nothing came out. He tried to nod but found that he could not move his head and when he tried pain went ripping through his body. "I want you to blink once for yes and twice for no, can you do that?" Remus closed his eyes then opened them. "Good. I'm healer Bentley, but once you get your voice back you can call me Cole. Now, do you recognize this person?" asked Healer Bentley, pointing towards his mother. Remus blinked.

* * *

It was several more days before the young Lupin returned home with the understanding that he was sick. "Can Romulus come over soon daddy?" Lyall looked down at his son's hopeful now-amber eyes, then he looked at his wife's green ones, a pained expression on his face. Hope knelt down and looked into the eyes that no longer resembled her own. "Aster and Rom moved away honey. He won't be able to come play anymore."

Remus's features drooped. "why? Where did they go? Aster said he could come over!" tears welled up in green and amber eyes.

"I know sweetie. But they had to move across the ocean. It all came up really fast and there wasn't time to say 


	2. Moons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lupins begin to adjust and strange happenings occur.

**August 1964**

The first full moon since the incident did NOT go well for the Lupin family. Hope was upset that she couldn't be near her son. Lyall was angry and worried, and Remus, well, Remus was scared.

He didn't understand why he couldn't sleep in his bed. The basement was old and scary and made him sneeze. He didn't know why he couldn't go to his parents, or why they were crying- so he cried too. He didn't know why there was a big scary looking man at their house. The man said he was there to 'observe and protect' but observe what? As the room got darker and the moon rose in the tiny basement window, Remus got more and more scared. His wound started to throb, and everything started to ache. Then he felt like he was on fire.

* * *

Far north in Scotland, the professor of transfiguration at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry stumbled upon a tower which, in all his years at the castle, he had never before discovered. Now, this was not all that uncommon as students were occasionally discovering shortcuts and hiding spots that had not been known for centuries. As curiosity often got the better of him, Albus Dumbledore found himself ascending into a tower generally known only to the headmaster. At the top of the stairs he found an ancient desk. Upon that desk were an ever-ageing leather bound book and a quill sitting in a silver inkpot. As the professor watched,a name in the open Book of Admittance was disfiguring itself, to the point that whatever had been inscribed above  _Romulus Lupin_  was completely illegible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's super short. they get longer I promise.


	3. Going Nowhere

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The big 11 of the wizarding world. Remus Lupin's eleventh Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I find it extremely impractical to send out an owl for each child to receive on their birthday, it would be an organizational nightmare because of travel time for the owls. I think the only reason this has become a thing it because Harry's birthday is when he finally read his letter, but it's not the day it arrived; plus, muggleborns would need time to adapt and those born in August would've missed the deadline. I say they're posted at the beginning of each month for each eligible student turning eleven in that month.

 

**9 March 1971**

He couldn't remember what happened. All that Remus knew was that he was tired and really  _really_ sore. But such was life for a werewolf. Such was life for Remus, at least it had been for the last seven years. Remus rolled himself over, slipped on his bathrobe and crawled up the stairs so that he might at least fall asleep on a  _comfortable_  floor.  _My birthday is tomorrow and I'll be damned if I'm stuck in bed all day._

The wolf hadn't been too vicious with itself last night, all Lyall had to heal once he had moved his son from the living room floor to his bed upstairs were moderate-for a werewolf- scratches and shallow cuts.

* * *

When Remus Lupin woke up on his eleventh birthday, he felt… as though he had merely been hit by a lorry the previous day as opposed to having been run over by it. As he made his way downstairs for breakfast, he dared to hope that he would receive an owl that could change his future. His father had told him countless stories about his school days, so Remus knew that the letters were posted every month, and that this was the last day that it might come. Bacon and pancakes came and went. Then lunch. Then tea. Remus was thrilled with the collection of books his parents had scraped up for him -all sorts of magical textbooks and such. He never really expected his Hogwarts letter to come, not with the risks he imposed and the prejudice he'd face, so this was nice. His parents were still going to get him a wand, in the meantime he would practice using Lyall's, as being a muggle, Hope didn't have one. His father would help guide him through the magic texts while his mother focused on helping him through his regular studies.

Over the years, Remus had attended almost as many primary schools as he had homes. Since the bite, his parents wanted to ensure that he could have a place of some sort in the world. He never made any friends though. Remus- for fear that they would find him out, and his peers because they believed his 'chronic illness' that required regular treatment to be highly contagious. Nevertheless, Remus had a knack for learning. He could pick up on pretty much anything. He was a whiz at math and science, had taught himself Morse and sign language, and could power through a mountain of books in days. Still, although he hadn't really expected an owl from the headmaster of Hogwarts, Remus went to sleep that night feeling just little bit depressed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They really do get longer. Thanks for reading. Feel free to give me any comments, questions, concerns, or Ideas. I love feedback and I will attend to it when i get the chance.


	4. A Longer Straw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will things finally pick up a bit for Remus? Or will their uninvited guest send him crashing to the dirt?

**5 July 1972**

Remus, as it turned out, was a whiz at studying magic too. He could often be found curled up by the fire with texts that should be too complicated for a twelve year old, reading up on transfiguration theory or defense against the dark arts. On other occasions he would sit at the kitchen table with a charms book, and practice making the salt and pepper shakers float and dance. The tapping on the table became too much for his mother, who was trying to grade papers for her own students one morning that he was sent outdoors to practice his magic.

So it was out on the front step that Remus's ears twitched at the faint crack of apparation at the end of the lane.  _That's odd. Dad has today off and i_ know  _i saw him in his office working on something for the department of Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures._

"Remus! I thought I told you to go outside!" Remus barreled past the kitchen and up the stairs, effectively ignoring his mother's scolding.

"Dad!" he called, pounding on the door to his father's workroom "Dad there's-" Remus was cut off as his father threw open the door.

"What is it Remus? I'm busy."

"Dad there's someone here, I heard them in the lane." The rushed answer was confirmed by a knock at the door.

"Stay here." Lyall ran down the stairs, followed by his son who had chosen instead to stay in the hall and peer through the door at the stranger who had come to the house. The door opened by Hope revealed a tall man whose life goal appeared to be to have his silver hair and beard grow longer than he was high.

"Mrs. Lupin, Lyall" The man's kind blue eyes swept over each of them in turn.

"Professor, I'm sorry but-"

Albus Dumbledore ignored Lyall's words. His eyes focused on the door that led into the hall. "Remus". Remus backed up, tripped on the rug and stumbled into the stairs. "Why don't you join us young man."

A moment later, brown hair and green eyes peered around the door. He glanced from his confused mother to his resigned father, who nodded his consent. "Come on then. Let's have a seat." Lyall led the visitor and family into the sitting room. Remus sat quickly beside his father, his mother on the other side and the man sat in a chair facing them. "Remus, this is my old teacher. Professor Albus Dumbledore."

Remus didn't get the joke.  _I'd get it if this was a year ago, but I'm twelve so what gives! Come here to rub it in?_

Dumbledore studied the boy in front of him. "Remus I can assure you I come bearing news not mockery." Remus blinked and raised an eyebrow. "Professor Dippett has taken his retirement and I am his replacement."

"Congratulations professor," said Lyall "but why should that bring you here?"

"Yes, straight to the point. About eight years ago I was witness to something rather unusual." When Dumbledore had finished recounting his account of the first night Remus had ever transformed, Hope's green eyes sparkled. Hope was daring to hope. Remus's eyes were cast down at the floor and his father remained unfazed.

Dumbledore stood and knelt next to Remus. "Would you care to join us in September?"

"Sure, sir" said Remus. Then the words sank in. His eyes flashed up to look at Dumbledore's. "Wait! You mean I can come?" Happiness and excitement were boiling over inside Remus.

"Of course my dear boy." Professor Dumbledore reached into his robes and withdrew the letter that Remus had convinced himself he would never receive. He took it, too much in awe to do anything but gape. Remus sat in stunned silence as his father opened his mouth.

"But Professor, he can't"

"Why should that be Mr lupin?" Lyall was opening his mouth to speak when his former teacher continued "simply because a person is ailed with lycanthropy does not mean they are not a young mind capable of learning." Lyall's frown broke into a grin. Hope was as speechless as her son.

Once the Headmaster had risen and retaken his seat he directed his words to the boy staring motionlessly at the envelope in his hands. "I do believe that letter is addressed to a young master Remus John Lupin. You are allowed to open your  _own_ mail you know."

Not a moment later the three adults watched with thrilled amusement as the envelope fell to the floor and Remus's eyes bugged out in happiness as he unfurled the letter. Remus was so completely focused on reading the letter that opened a door into the world that he wanted to join so much, that it was not until he felt his mother tugging down on his sleeve that he noticed he was no longer on the couch. Remus looked down at the floor then returned to reading his letter. "M'not done reading"

Hope glance from her son to her husband, who in turn glanced at his son then to the professor. The headmaster looked from Lyall to the young boy floating by the ceiling. "There is no doubt in my mind that he is entitled to a magical education." said Dumbledore, his eyes twinkling.

Having finished the letter a few minutes later, Remus looked up, pondered for a moment, then raised his arms above his head and pushed off the ceiling. Landing on the floor more forcefully than intended, he looked towards the professor. "Thank you sir, but what about-"

"We are in the process of setting up a safe house that is far from the reaches of ordinary students, and you will be advised of the specifics once it is complete."

"Thank you sir!" Remus bounced off the floor to reclaim his seat beside his father.

Hope spoke for the first time. "Won't he be older than everyone else?

Dumbledore turned to her. "The deputy headmistress and myself have decided that he will begin as a first year, but will be provided the opportunity to test into second year" Dumbledore's eyes scanned the books scattering the room, then he turned to Remus. "judging by the state of the room, I don't see why this should be an issue". Remus' s attempt to look sheepish about the books he had left all over the floor was greatly overshadowed by the massive grin that refused to remove itself from his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The late start idea actually came from 'Seeing Grey', so did having a sibling. If you can get around confusing grammar and lack of punctuation it's a great read.   
> Comments? Questions? Concerns? Ideas? Drop me a line either here or @1eyedwolf on facebook. Happy reading


	5. A Foot in the Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Newly accepted to Hogwarts, Remus and family have an alley to explore.

**20 August 1972**

Remus had never been to Diagon Alley before. His father had visited Gringotts the day before to 'streamline' the day, though Remus knew it was so he would be under less scrutiny. Stop number one was the apothecary. Potions was the one thing Remus wasn't looking forward to; he had tried to understand the texts but they just didn't click. Up next was Flourish and Blotts.

"Remus, we are here for school supplies" said Hope, practically dragging her son away from the advanced defense texts.

The family emerged with a small stack of books and a dejected-looking Remus.

Lyall looked at his pouting son. "Look, Remus, you  _will_ be able to borrow them from the school library. And Hogwarts has more books than any store ever will." Remus' s face brightened significantly. By the time they reached Ollivander's, the Lupins had acquired a cauldron, scales, ingredients, books, quills, ink, parchment, robes to pick up on the way back, and they had thought about buying their son an owl, but for one thing, they really didn't have the money, and for another, the owls went nuts when Remus walked past the window.

* * *

"Ah, Mr Lupin. I was told I should be expecting you" Mr. Ollivander sized Remus up and down. Hope had decided to wait outside the shop so that it wouldn't get too crowded. The old man continued his process of taking measurements and asking questions. Finally he put the tape down. "And what is your dominant hand my boy?" Remus had to think for a moment. He could do most things with both hands out of necessity due to his regular injuries.

Lyall picked up a ball from the wandmaker's desk with a smirk. 'Remus!" The owner of said name turned to find a ball hurtling towards his face.

"Left" said Remus, returning the ball to the desk. "I am apparently left handed"

Once Mr. Ollivander had disappeared into the stacks of boxes, Remus snuck a quick jab at his father's side. Lyall was about to get his retaliation in when his wife tapped at the window. The two looked at the woman outside and hung their heads in resignation.

This would have to wait until she wasn't looking.

"Try this one" said Mr. Ollivander, returning to the front of the shop. Remus took the offered wand with a raised brow. "give it a wave" Remus waved. Then he ducked as the chandelier exploded.

"So that'll be a no." he said, returning the wand to it's maker. Twenty minutes later, Remus had shattered the shop window, knocked down every shelf at least twice, upended the desk, and balded his father.

Ollivander handed him yet another wand. Grasping the handle, Remus felt a warm tingle run through his extremities. When he waved it, nothing broke. Instead it emitted a stream of colour and sound that was pleasing, even to one as sensitive as Remus.

"That would be it Master Lupin" said the shopkeeper as he returned the rest of the wands to their shelves. "Cyprus and unicorn hair. Ten and a quarter inches. Very good for charms"

Lyall paid the old man and the pair returned to the street covered in dust and debris.

"Here I was thinking that a room of third graders could cause damage" Hope scolded, distributing her armloads to her husband and son. Laughing, the family walked down the street to pick up the robes that were waiting at Madam Malkin's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Master in this context refers to a male who has yet to reach the age of majority.  
> Feel free to ask questions and to offer Ideas.


	6. A New Start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The inaugural September 1st.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to go with :Remus is too excited to be nervous or worried, this is something he's longed for since he was old enough to understand the concept of school, and something he never thought he'd be able to do for almost as long. Hope you like it. Also, italicized text is either emphasis of thought if that was confusing anyone.

**1 September 1972**

Hope shook her son awake at six thirty the morning of September the first. Remus didn't need convincing. He leapt out of bed, dressed and ate breakfast in record time. In fifteen minutes flat, Remus was fed, dressed, groomed for the day, and shoving his school trunk in the back of the car. When his parents emerged from the house ten minutes later, they found him sitting in the back seat, impatiently reading a book. Lyall looked at his wife, smiling slightly.

Don't give your parents a second thought or anything Remus." Remus looked up from his book. "Sorry. Mom, Dad, good morning. Yes I brushed my teeth and I cleaned my room yesterday.  _Now_  can we go?" Hope simply shook her head and climbed into the driver's seat.

"You couldn't just say 'good morning Remus, are you ready?' Could you?" Hope started the car and started the long drive.

"You should know me better than that dear, it's not nearly as fun."

 _I'm going! In less than four hours I'll_ actually  _be on my way to Hogwarts!_

* * *

By ten fifteen, Remus was following his father and trolley through the crowds in King's Cross, his mother by his side. Lyall stopped the cart part way between platforms nine and ten. He was eyeing up the pillar that hid the entrance.

"How about you go first Remus?"

"I don't see it dad…"

Hope looked quizzically at her husband. "Are you  _sure_  there's a platform nine and  _three quarters_?"

"Of course" Lyall said brightly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. 'See that pillar Remus?" The boy nodded. "I want you to run straight through it." His wife gaped at him. Remus searched his father's face and voice for the telltale signs of lying. Finding none, Remus turned and bolted for the entrance to the platform, and disappeared from sight. Thinking that someone should get to Remus before he was flattened by others trying to get onto the platform, as he was sure the boy was standing in the middle of the gateway, staring at the steam engine that should be waiting, he said "Dear, why don't you go next. I don't care to run him over."

When Hope joined her son on the other side, she stared too. Only, she decided that she could walk and stare at the same time, and led Remus further down the platform. Lyall joined them momentarily, and helped his son load his trunk into the last carriage on the train. Back on the platform, Lyall enveloped his son in a tight hug. "Have fun, but don't get caught he whispered into Remus's ear." Remus smirked at the permission his mother hadn't heard. "Don't be afraid to make friends either ok? I'll see you at christmas, but I have to go to work now."

"Love you dad. And I think I  _might_  miss you. At least a little"

"I love you too kiddo. And I  _will_  miss you. A lot." Lyall released his son from his hug, pecked his wife on the cheek, and strode off the platform to apparate to work.

This left Remus and Hope to stare in wonder at the train as other families arrived.

* * *

Twenty minutes later, the hustle and bustle became too much for Remus's ears. He bade his mother goodbye and climbed into the relative silence of the Hogwarts Express. Looking up from his book to wave to his mother as the train pulled away, Remus noticed three boys standing in the corridor looking at him.

The boy at the front, whose black hair looked as though he had stuck his head out the window at very high speeds, spoke up. "Sorry, but this is usually our compartment, and everywhere else is either full or full of slimeballs. Mind if we join you?"

"Oh, Sorry. I didn't know. Sure, it's not like I need it to myself." The boys filed in. the second was fairly tall, with black hair that fell to his shoulders and prominent facial features. The third was a short, squat boy with neatly combed straw-like hair. Remus put his book down and stood, offering his hand as he did so. "Remus Lupin."

The newcomers looked at each other and shrugged. This time it was the second boy who spoke up. Shaking Remus's hand, he said: "Sirius Black. That's James Potter, and Peter Pettigrew." He gestured towards the first boy, then the third.

James eyed him carefully. The light hair, the gold-flecked green eyes, the awkward skinniness to height proportion, the pale scarred features. "Haven't seen you before but you look familiar. Are you a first year?"

"I'm starting a year late." Remus replied. "I was really sick last fall and couldn't come." This wasn't entirely a lie. Remus had had a particularly debilitating transformation last year, and he figured it would be easier to tell half-truths than outright lies.

"You aren't still sick?" said Sirius, only half-jokingly

"No. If I were I'd be at St. Mungo's painting their walls in beautiful shades of barf."Peter laughed. James and Sirius smirked.

"Sirius, I think this one's a keeper." James said, stepping forward to shake Remus's hand.

Throughout the train ride, Remus was bombarded with questions and advice.

"What house do you want to be in?"

"Watch out for -insert name of any number of slimy Slytherins"

"Do you play Quidditch?"

"McGonagall's a great teacher, just don't piss her off"

The chatter was interrupted when a prefect opened the door, advising them to change and that they would be arriving shortly. As the train pulled into the station the four students prepared to debark. "Leave your stuff, It'll get brought up later" James informed his new friend.

* * *

Remus joined the throng of first years and watched as Peter, James, and Sirius joined the mob looking for a carriage. A  _very_ large man with a lantern, who seemed to be in charge of the first years gave one last look around. "Well, tha' seems ter be all of yeh. Come on then, Follow me."

Remus followed the group down the rocky path, and nearly ran over the eleven year olds who had stopped dead in their tracks to stare up ahead . Had he been carrying something, Remus was sure that he would have dropped it when he looked up. The castle stood high on a cliff, the flickering candlelight from inside causing the windows to twinkle invitingly. "Keep comin'. There'll be plenty o' time for gawkin' in a mo'" called their guide, continuing down the path to the fleet of small boats moored at a little dock on the edge of the lake. "Four to a boat. Climb in." Remus noted, that their guide took one boat to himself, and thought it might sink if anyone else tried to climb in.

Lookin around, Remus found a boat with a brown haired girl, and a boy who greatly resembled one he had met on the train. The new students sailed across the lake in silence, and climbed the stairs up into the castle with minimal chatter, which became increasingly louder as they waited in a magnificent hall. Remus was about to clap his hands over his ears, or yell at the rest to, kindly, shut their traps, when the door opened and a stern looking woman strode in.

"Good evening" she said, observing the group, "and welcome to Hogwarts. I am Professor McGonagall, deputy headmistress, professor of transfiguration, and head of Gryffindor house. In a few minutes, you will be sorted into either Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Slytherin, or Ravenclaw. Your houses will become your homes for the coming months and your housemates, your families. Hard work and good deeds will earn you house points, while mischief will lose them." Mcgonagall looked rather sour about this last point but carried on. "At the end of the year, The house with the most points will be awarded the house cup. Now if you'd form a line and follow me into the great hall, you will be sorted."

Remus was relieved to see that he was not the only one looking nervous and confused. His father had flat-out refused to  _hint_  about the line of first years followed their professor into the magnificent dining hall. Many feet and robes were trod upon as the new pupils craned their necks to get a good look at the ceiling. Lined up at the front of the hall, Remus could see James, Sirius, and Peter all sitting at the Gryffindor table, their black robes accented with red.

A tiny man marched forwards carrying a milking stool and an ancient pointed had. The rest of the students waited in silence, staring at the hat. A tear near the brim opened and the hat began to sing.

_Though Hogwarts halls you'll stomp and learn_

_And dine and laugh away,_

_Where though, shall your new homes lie?_

_Well, that's why I still stay!_

_For long ago there once did live_

_Four sorcerers well known_

_A house per founder thus was made,_

_With values each their own._

_In Gryffindor the brave do dwell,_

_For courage was his key_

_Dear Hufflepuff help open arms_

_For work, and loyalty._

_In learning valued Ravenclaw_

_There hungry minds will grow._

_Ambitious man was Slytherin,_

_There cunning you will know._

_Come have a seat, and try me on_

_We'll see where you belong_

_A thousand years I've had this job,_

_I've yet to do it wrong._

When the hat had finished, Professor McGonagall pulled out a scroll, "When your name is called, please come forward and take a seat"

"Addams, Emily!"

A large girl stepped forwards hesitantly, then she walked with confidence towards the stool, upon which she sat. The hat was placed upon her head, then she waited. "HUFFLEPUFF" the hat exclaimed after a few moments. The Addams girl stood and went over to the yellow-accented table, welcomed by cheers and thunderous applause.

"Black, Regulus"

The boy from the boat, the one who looked familiar strode up to the stool and sat. The hat had barely touched his head before crying "SLYTHERIN" the green table roared their approval at their new student as he went to join them. Remus stopped paying attention to the sorting, and tried instead to ignore the eruptions of noises that made his ears ring and his head throb.

He tuned in again just in time to hear the hat sort some blonde girl into Ravenclaw.

"Lupin, Remus!"

Remus picked up a quiet exclamation of "what?" as he walked himself up to Professor McGonagall. He sat down on the stool, pulled on the hat, and surveyed the audience, trying to locate the source of the exclamation. " _Are you done sightseeing yet?"_  Remus  _almost_  reacted physically to the voice. " _So… i see brains, you could do well in Ravenclaw. also very loyal, Hufflepuff could work too."_ He started to reply but was cut off. " _Oh but i see many things young werewolf."_ Remus paled. " _Not to worry, I can't tell... You've got guts to be here you know..."_ Remus observed the students staring at him while the hat pondered his position in the school. The students began to look worried, as they too, waited for what seemed to be an abnormally long time. Remus's thoughts were interrupted by a voice yelling very loudly into his ear. Remus didn't actually hear what it had said because it had been so painfully loud, by he assumed it had said Gryffindor, based on the amount of noise coming from the table.

Sitting down beside James, Sirius spoke from across the table. "I haven't seen it take longer with anyone except Peter"

Remus glanced to the side, where Peter sat beside Sirius. "The hat seemed to think i would fit everywhere except Slytherin"

The conversation was dropped as they welcomed they next new Gryffindor to their table. To Remus, who was quite hungry, the sorting couldn't have lasted longer and when the food finally did appear, he was little over eager. The fork that he had quickly picked up few to the floor just as fast. James looked up from the ham he was spearing onto his plate. "Are you alright?

"Yeah" Remus forced a smile. "I've just never seen so much food in my life." Ducking below the table to retrieve his fallen utensil, Remus surveyed the damage done to his hand. It was red and burning, but not to bad.  _Great. Now I have to try to eat without touching anything._ Returning to the surface, Remus scanned the table for finger foods, and settled for wraps and ribs. A while later, the clatter of forks and knives and mumbles gave way to chatter, and Dumbledore rose. The hall quieted.

"Good evening students, both old and new. I am Professor Dumbledore, and I will be your new headmaster, as my predecessor deemed that he needed a permanent break from schools." The headmaster's eyes swept over the audience, lingering just a second longer on the area in which Remus was seated."You will notice that there is a new tree on the grounds. It is quite rare, and as such it is quite valuable. Please note that it may also kill over eager onlookers should they try to approach it. On top of this, I would like to remind our returning students, and inform our new ones, that the forest on the grounds is strictly out of bounds to all students. Lastly, dungbombs, fanged frisbees, and acid pops have all been added to the list of banned items. The full list may be found on the door of our caretaker's office. Prefects, if you would please escort our new students to their respective common areas, I shall bid you all goodnight.

Remus immediately hopped up from the table, opting to follow his friends rather than the prefects.

"Come on Remus," called James. "We know some shortcuts" Remus kept up easily to the boys leading him up the stairs at a rapid pace.

On the fourth floor, the trio paused to allow Peter to catch up and catch his breath. "Why are we going so fast?" Peter asked, almost pleading. "We don't even know the password yet."

"Not a problem my little friend," said Sirius, pulling out a scrap of parchment "nicked it off a prefect."

Remus looked around the round red room in wonder. Tapestries clung to the walls, couches, tables, and chairs scattered the room, the fire was lit, and everything had at least  _some_ form of Gryffindor identity. Whether it be the red or gold colours in fabrics, or carvings that students had lovingly etched into the walls and woodwork. The entire placed screamed- feel at home.

"The girls are the stairs on the left. We're up the right " Sirius said, leading the way. On the sixth landing, Remus stopped, noticing his name on a sign reading 'Gryffindor first years'. The others came back down. "What'd you stop for mate?" Sirius asked

"I'm not technically a second year  _yet_ " Remus smirked. "I'll give you a day to unpack and clean up the kit bomb that's sure to happen, then I might join you."

"Right. Meet you downstairs at 7:30 for breakfast?" James offered.

Remus nodded and the second year boys mounted the stairs back to the I dormitory. Picking the bed by the window, Remus opened his trunk, changed, and was in bed asleep by the time the first years arrived fifteen minutes later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments, questions and concerns and ideas happily taken >here<. Sorry if the sorting song sucked, but I'm not a poet, nor do I like poetry with the exception of a few and music, and I know it.


	7. Settling In

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And so begins the tale at Hogwarts, but Remus is still a first year for now.

 

**2 September 1972**

In the morning, Remus woke early, as per usual. He had attempted to shower before getting ready, but succeeded only in burning his other hand.  _Something else to bring up I guess_. Giving up on his shower Remus returned to his dorm, dressed, and packed his books into his bag for the day, then headed downstairs to read while he awaited the arrival of James, Sirius, and Peter.

At seven twenty, Remus felt a tap on his looked up finding James's hazel eyes looking down at him. "Remus, how long have you been down here?"

Remus looked at his watch. "about an hour. I'm an early riser" he replied, stowing his book in his bag. "Now, lead me to food my dear minions!" The others rolled their eyes and led him back through the maze of corridors and staircases.

"REMUS!" They were at the top of the stairs leading down to the entrance hall. Remus turned to the direction of the voice and was promptly tackled to the floor by a mass of black and blue robes and dark blonde hair.

Remus was too startled to push his attacker off. Looking up, he was greeted by a pale face and crystal blue eyes, and an  _enormous_ grin.

"Who-" Remus started before cutting himself off. "Wait, ROM?" The grin on the other boys face got bigger-who knew, it  _was_ possible. "What-"

"Mr. Lupin, if you would kindly remove yourself from Mr Lupin , I need to have a word with him." Remus and Romulus Lupin looked up, and stood before professor McGonagall.

"Talk to you later ok?" said Romulus, tripping down the stairs to the Entrance Hall.

McGonagall hid a smile. "I suggest you watch where you are putting those feet Mr Lupin" Looking at Remus, she gestured down the corridor. "Come along. My office is just down this way."

As Remus followed, his mind was racing.  _I can't be in trouble yet! I just got here! What if they've changed their minds?_

Closing the door, McGonagall looked up. Her pupil stood by the desk, his hands trembling ever so slightly. "Have a seat Lupin, you're not in trouble." He sat, relief relaxing his muscles. "Why don't we start off with the harder points and work from there?" Remus nodded. "I assume you are aware of what the twenty third is?"

Remus's eyes remained downcast as he responded. "Yes Professor."

"I do believe it is polite to look at people when you speak to them" Remus looked up slowly. "Much better. Now, you are to report to the infirmary one hour before moonrise and not a second later. Either myself or the nurse will be there to escort you."

"Yes professor" was his quiet reply.

"With regards to your classmates, you will need to think of something to tell them to explain your disappearances, and as your head of house, I would like you to run it by me first."

"Ok."

"On a brighter note, you will not be in regular classes today." Remus cocked an eyebrow. "Should you choose, you will be under my supervision, writing your exams to test into second year." Remus grinned. "You are to report here at eight thirty"

"I'll be here" Remus was almost at the door when he remembered that he too needed a word. "Professor," McGonagall looked up from the papers she had begun to organize.

"Yes Mr Lupin?"

"Is there a way that…" he trailed off. Nervously looking down at the red blotches he was rubbing on his hands.

McGonagall's face softened. She pulled out a nickel dish and transfigured it into a fork, knife, and spoon, and offered them to her student. "Will this help?" Remus took the cutlery, nodding. "i suggest you get those hands looked at before you spend the day writing tests."

"Thank you Professor." the nervous twitches had almost faded.

"Anything else?" asked the professor.

"Um, are all the taps here silver?"

"No, most should be either pewter or brass. I will ensure that those in your dormitory that are not are replaced."

"Thank you againr"

"Not at all Mr. Lupin. Though I suggest that you stay away from the divination tower next year."

Remus snorted. "Oh, I plan to. Thanks again professor." With that, Remus left the office to get some breakfast.

"What did McGonagall want?" asked Peter when Remus arrived fifteen minutes late to breakfast.

"Just confirming that I'll be trying to test into second year." Remus replied taking his seat beside Sirius.

"Good luck" muttered his friends as they returned to stuffing their faces.

Remus pulled his not-silverware out of his pocket and began to load his plate.

"Remus," called his brother as he was on his way to the infirmary, "find me at lunch ok?"

"Sure thing" realizing he had no idea where the infirmary was, Remus stopped and turned back to the end of the Ravenclaw table. "Hey Rom, how do you get to the infirmary?"

Romulus glanced at his brother's red hands before setting down his fork. "Come on, I'll show you."

The pair walked in silence for a few minutes, unsure of how to begin to fill the eight year gap. It was Remus who broke the silence. "You know then?"

Romulus glanced over and back to the floor. "Yeah. I found an old letter from dad in the attic awhile ago. I think that's why we moved to the States."

"Oh" they walked the rest of the way in silence.

"Here we are" said Romulus, opening the door to the hospital wing. "Have a good first day. I have to go back and get my stuff but we'll catch up later."

"A day full of tests. Can't wait" Remus called after his brothers retreating back. Romulus snorted, then stumbled, then continued to his dorm, leaving Remus to enter the hospital wing alone.

A short witch came towards the door muttering to herself. "Really? How do you people manage to land yourselves in the hospital wing before breakfast is over?" The nurse stopped her rant when she saw her patient. "Lupin I presume? The new one"

"Remus ma'am"

"Right. I  _did_  know that at one point. The two of you look quite similar you know."

"Dad used to mix us up before Rom moved away"

"I see. What brings you here? I shouldn't be seeing you for another few weeks."

Remus presented his hands. "Yeah, well, Dinner and the showers had other ideas."

The nurse examined his hands with a sigh. "Give me a moment, I'll be right back" she disappeared into a back room and returned promptly with a purplish salve. "Put that on. Five minutes should do it."

Remus applied the goop to his palms and sighed in relief as the burning sensation was removed by the cool slime.

When he stood to leave, the nurse emerged from her office. "Nurse Biddle by the way. And I suggest you hang onto that." she said, gesturing at the bottle.

"Thanks" said Remus before slipping the salve into his bag and heading down to McGonagall's office.

By lunch Remus was tired. In three and a half hours he had breezed through four out of seven exams. Ok so that's not  _entirely_  accurate. He'd breezed through history, charms, and herbology. For potions he had bashed his head repeatedly on the desk. It had annoyed McGonagall so much that she told him to stop killing the brains for the subjects he knew. When his hour was up, he had at least managed to write  _something_  for ninety percent of the questions. Nevertheless, he was hungry and his hands cramped.

Entering the Great Hall, Remus was dragged towards a seat at the wrong table. The Ravenclaws looked up, confused, then saw who had dragged him there and merely shrugged at one another and continued on with their meals.

"So how was living in the US?" Remus inquired, taking a sandwich.

"Not that great. Their secrecy laws are super strict so we immigrated through the muggle government. Then mom met a muggle and he got a job in Canada, so we moved." Romulus took a bite of his own sandwich. "did'n ow ma'ic 'as real" Romulus swallowed. "Until I found that letter when I was ten."

Remus laughed. "She never said anything?"

"Nah. Was afraid of scaring Ben off. Kept explaining away all my accidents. How she managed to convince us that I climbed onto the wrecking ball of a construction crane all by myself?-I will never know."

Remus's eyes widened. "You did what?"

His brother shrugged. "Hey, it looked like fun. What about you? Any crazy stories?"

"Not really. It was mostly little things. Though I think I turned my dinner into marshmallows once."

Now it was Romulus's turn to snort. "I thought I imagined that! You were all ticked off that dad said no to s'mores instead of cake for your birthday because it was a blizzard outside!"

"You know, I never did get those s' mores he promised."

"Yeah, well, your summer did get shot to hell. I guess he forgot." Romulus put down his sandwich. "Damn it. Now I want s'mores!"

Remus looked at his watch. "Shit" he stood, stuffing the rest of his sandwich in his mouth. "I've gotta go. Three exams and five practicals left." Remus waved to his friends at the Gryffindor table, then bolted from the hall.

The remainder of Remus's day flew by. He finished his transfiguration and astronomy exams in fifty minutes each, and defense in thirty.

His professors, with the exception of Slughorn- who passed Remus on the premise that the potion didn't cause any damage- were quite impressed with his ability. Professors McGonagall and Flitwick seriously considered placing him in third year classes, but Remus declined.

Striding into the Great hall for dinner, the young werewolf grinned at his brother, who returned it with one of his own, and went to sit down at the Gryffindor table.

Professor McGonagall came over to Remus as his friends arrived. She looked at Remus, then at the new arrivals. "Gentlemen, I would like you to meet your new classmate, Remus Lupin." Most of the students looked up when they heard the cheers of the three boys, and the thunderous applause coming from the Gryffindor table. The following ran through many minds:  _Alert! Alert! Potter, Black, Pettigrew Threat detected. evaluation: negligible risk. Continue with your regularly scheduled habits._

Remus cautiously removed his hands from his ears and looked at the class schedule that his Head of House had placed in front of him. "So, can I borrow the notes I missed from today?

James' s lip twitched. Sirius had a brief spasm. "Come on mate! You're kidding right?" asked Sirius, appalled that one could be so studious.

James mirrored his friend's face. "I didn't know anyone actually cared about the first day…"

Remus's ears reddened. "I missed everything today to test in! I don't want to fall behind."

A red-haired girl spoke up from down the table. "It was mostly review from last year, but you can look at my notes if you want"

Sirius glanced at the girl, then back at James "Forgot about Evans didn't you?"

_Mom and dad, sorry I didn't write earlier but I've been rather busy testing into second year. McGonagall and Flitwick actually wanted to put me in third year transfiguration and charms, but I'd like to enjoy my time here. I got sorted into Gryffindor, the hat had trouble with that, but I'm here. Mom, i think you'll be happy to hear that I think I've made new friends, and I even found an old one. Rom's here too dad. He said that even though he lives in Canada, he's still a British citizen, so Hogwarts got the draft._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rom's back! And Remus made it to second year.  
> Continuing to load the 22 chapters already in existence.  
> Comments, questions, concerns, I'd love to hear them all as long as they aren't angry or derogatory. This'll be all for notes until I catch up unless there's relevant info to convey.   
> Hope you're enjoying the reading!


	8. First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Early morning pranks and confusion in the ranks

**3 September 1972**

When Remus woke the next morning, he tried his best to be completely silent as he prepared for a shower. James, Sirius, and Peter were still sound asleep when he returned to collect his books an hour later. Today, he decided to go over Lily's notes while he waited for his friends to wake up and drag themselves downstairs.

James and Sirius locked eyes when Remus closed the door at six thirty. "We're going to  _have_  to do something about this"

"Damn straight we will." Sirius closed his eyes and fell back to sleep. James on the other hand, determined that sleep wasn't worth it and got himself ready for the day. When he was ready at ten to seven, James brightened the room, slammed open the door and sprinted far enough down the stairs so that he wouldn't be seen.

Two thumps sounded on the floor. Then several 'SHIT's could be heard in Sirius' voice. "Peter let's go we're late!"

A scuffle on the floor. "What? They didn't wake us up?"

Smiling to himself James continued down the stairs and stopped in his tracks when he reached the bottom. A pair of feet were dangling over the doorway.

Cautiously, James advanced into the common room. " _Remus_?" James stood staring at his friend, who was perched on a ledge above the doorway. "the hell are you doing up there?"

"Reading" was the short reply.

"Sirius and Peter should be down soon. I'd personally like to be out of here by the time they get here."

Remus closed the book and hopped down. "what did you do?"

James smirked. "you'll see"

"We should leave now." said Remus quietly, moving quickly to the portrait hole.

James followed and closed the Fat lady just as footsteps pounding down the stairs could be heard by human ears. Remus grabbed his arm and yanked him around the corner. "This isn't the way to the great hall" he protested, rubbing his arm.

"Breakfast hasn't started yet" Remus was grinning mischievously.

James grinned too. "I like how you think Lupin."

Sirius and Peter sped through the empty halls, and down to the equally vacant Great Hall.

"How could they let us miss breakfast?" Peter whined as they turned on their heels and sprinted to the potions classroom and slammed open the door. "Maybe slughorn took the class out to the grounds to get ingredients?" Suggested the smaller boy hopefully.

"Maybe" replied the taller of the pair, taking his seat. "They'll be back".

They sat at the desk for what felt like  _ages_. The clamouring of students outside the door broke their trances. Sirius looked up to see Professor Slughorn follow the class into the room. "Black, Pettigrew, it's nice to see you so eager." The boys looked around, confused as students sat at their tables and pulled out their books.

That was the last straw for James, who had hidden with Remus at the back of the class. He exploded with laughter while his partner in crime smirked, and expertly smothered his snorts with sneezes.

Sirius's confusion deepened, before understanding dawned on his face. This was accompanied by outrage as he flung himself at his laughing roommate. "You cheated me out of breakfast you twit"

James fought back, and soon the pair were rolling on the floor. After a few moments, Remus stepped forwards and separated the two single-handedly. Standing between them, an arm pushing each back. Remus smiled at Peter.

Slughorn waved his wand and put Sirius and James on opposite sides of the classroom. "Thank you Mr. Lupin. Please take your seat."

The Slytherins erupted into whispers.

"Lupin?"

"But he's a Ravenclaw"

"Why is he here ?"

"He's only a first year!"

Slughorn glanced at Lupin in apology, then he tried to regain control of the class, but to no avail.

Remus stood, reached his hand to his face, and let out a sharp whistle. His classmates stared at him, silenced instantly.

"Good morning. I am  _Remus_ Lupin. You will find my brother in Ravenclaw, and I tested into second year yesterday." Remus retook his seat and nodded at Slughorn to begin his class. Though quiet, few people turned their gaze from the New Kid who had expertly commandeered the class.

Peter sped to catch up with Remus as class got out. "That was all your idea, wasn't it?"

Remus looked down at his friend. "Hey, it was James who decided to make you think you overslept. I just improved it for him."

Peter punched his skinny friend lightly on the shoulder. "I won't tell Sirius. He'd pummell you"

Smiling, Remus said: "He can try".

The rest of the week passed smoothly. Remus caught up to his roommates on the way to dinner, after transfiguration with the Ravenclaws on Friday. "Guys, I want to run something by you."

James liked the sound of that. "Like what?"

"Rom's birthday is in January, and I want to do something involving s'mores." His friend raised an eyebrow. "Old joke."

"We'll sleep on it. Give us a few months."

 


	9. Waxing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyperactive symptoms lead to accidental discovery

 

**20 September 1972**

Remus bounced out of bed at six o'clock on the morning of September 20th. James rolled over. "What are you so excited about?"

"Nothing" replied Remus, continuing to bounce about the room as he prepared for the day.

His nervousness had finally died down with the whispers yesterday. And the agitation of the waxing moon was  _definitely_ not helping to provide a smooth transition to his normal, hyperactive demeanor.

"I'm going to explore" he informed his friends ten minutes later as he started to descend the tower. "See you at breakfast"

"It's barely six!" James hissed after him. Deciding sleep sounded better, he left Remus to explore the castle as he pleased.

But Remus was not at breakfast. He had sped off from Gryffindor Tower without a destination in mind.

About an hour into his wanderings, Remus smelled food. Breakfast wouldn't start for thirty minutes, but he was hungry. Turning on his heel, he followed his nose down three floors and into the basement. Past three suits of armour, a yellow arch, and several paintings of food he marched. The corridor turned and Remus stopped. Sniffing the air carefully he turned and was guided to a painting of a fruit bowl by his sense of smell.

Leaning forward, he sniffed again.  _There's food behind this painting._ Remus reached out and poked the portrayed pear.

The pear twitched. The second time, it giggled.  _Are you ticklish little pear?_  Remus wondered to himself. With that thought, Remus tickled the pear until it laughed. Then he stopped because the pear had vanished. In its place was a green handle, which Remus  _obviously_  pulled.

The painting swung open to reveal a vast room lined with stoves and ovens. In the middle were four long tables, with a fifth lying crosswise at the end.

 _I think i just found the kitchens. I wonder.._ his thoughts were cut off by several squeaky voices.

"Welcome sir!"

"What can we do for sir?"

"Would sir like some bacon?"

Remus pondered the tiny, floppy-eared creatures for a moment.  _House elves, well, I guess it only makes sense._  Never having seen a house elf before, but having read all about them, it was concluded that these were indeed house elves.

"You know, I would  _love_  some bacon" Minutes later Remus was sitting at the Gryffindor sub-table with more food in front of him than one could normally eat. This was not normally. The inner wolf always got hungrier in the days before the full moon; this meant that the plates of bacon, pancakes, cereals, toast, and fruit were all consumed in a timely manner.

"Would sir like anything else?"

"No thanks. And please, just call me Remus."

"Of course master Remus and I is called midge." The elf- who was tiny by elf standards- bowed as Remus rose from his meal. "We is always happy to provide."

"Thank you Midge. I'm sure I'll come back soon."

"Master Remus is always welcome" called another elf as he ducked out into the hall and closed the painting.

* * *

Where  _were_  you" James demanded when Remus joined them at the greenhouses."Oh, and this came for you," he said holding out a letter, which Remus took.

Remus had stopped walking, but he couldn't seem to make himself stop moving. "Exploring. Tell you what I found later"

"And what has gotten into you today?" asked James, watching his friend bounce up and down on the balls of his feet.

"Nothing"

Sirius opened his mouth to reply, but the door to greenhouse three swung open to admit entrance to the waiting students, and he was silenced by the greetings of Geoffrey Styne.

"Good morning class. Today we will be reviewing the collections of Puffapods. Professor Styne gestured to the worktables "The plants are waiting."

"James, Sirius, and occasionally Peter spent most of the class pestering their roommate, trying to learn what he had discovered.  _I'm not going to tell them yet, they should really give up._ Remus was very much enjoying withholding information from the taller two of his three friends.

_Congratulations on your sorting Remus, know that your mother and I are proud of you regardless of where you ended up. Good job on passing into second year, I can't believe they they let you do it all in one day. And we're very pleased that you've made friends, just remember to be careful. I'm very glad You and Rom are still getting along after all these years, and I guess you've figured out by now why they moved. On that note, I would advise Romulus, that should he wish to stay at Hogwarts, that he not mention you to his mother. She'd have a fit and have him transferred. Probably wouldn't say why, but let's not take the risks ok? Your mother is driving herself up the wall without you around, and I miss you too._

_Love, Dad and Mom_

* * *

"You found the  _kitchens_?" hissed Peter across the table at lunch.

"And you waited  _three hours_  to tell us?" Sirius pitched in from beside his friend

"Well I didn't exactly think it was something I should share with the whole class!"

James stood and grabbed Remus by the arm. "You're showing us." he stated, dragging the boy from his lunch.

* * *

The second year Gryffindor boys arrived ten minutes late to History of Magic. Lily and Remus were the only ones who seemed to care. "Where have you been?" she asked, as the sandy-haired boy took the open seat beside her.

"James dragged us off from lunch on a hunt for hidden secrets." Having said his piece, Remus pulled out his battered copy of 'A History of Magic' and began to read, having given up on trying to listen to Professor Binns on his second class. It was something he had caught onto from Lily; the two of them read, and everyone else napped- whether they tried to or not.

* * *

Thursday and Friday passed in a similar manner, the exception being that all four friends arrived at breakfast. Saturday morning rolled around and James Sirius and Peter came down into the common room shortly after seven. As it was a weekend, the common room was deserted- the residents of Gryffindor tower generally took the opportunity to sleep in on Saturday mornings. Remus included, though for reasons other than 'it's the weekend'

"Someone remind me to say something about this to him" grumbled Sirius, leading the way into the corridor.

Taking their usual seats, James was the only one awake enough to notice the missing member of their group. "Where's Remus?"

"Probably ate in the kitchens 'cause breakfast wasn't ready yet" Peter mumbled into his breakfast.

The three Gryffindors were on their way out of the Great Hall an hour later when the rest of the school started to make an appearance. They stopped in the common room before proceeding to walk out to the grounds, figuring that they could sit by the lake and relax, and maybe Remus would cross their paths in his hyperactive explorative habits. He didn't.

"You guys were up early today" called Lily as they entered the common room. "What are you up to, or do I even want to know?"

"It's all Remus's fault." said Peter.

"So someone gets up early. He'd be pretty quiet wouldn't he?"

James was aghast. "Have you  _met_  Remus lately? He's like a skrewt on steroids!"

Lily raised her eyebrows. "Remus?"

"Yes." James didn't see why she didn't see it.

"Remus  _Lupin?_ "

"YES" A few heads turned at the exclamation.

"The same Remus Lupin who is almost falling asleep on a book over there?"

The boys followed to where she was pointing. Sure enough, their friend was sitting at a table off to the side of the room, reading a book.

"Uh, Remus?" Sirius asked, poking his shoulder.

"Please leave a message after the tone. Beeep" was the reply.

Sirius looked at the rest of his friends and shrugged. "apparently he's too busy with his book. Want to go down to the quidditch pitch? Tryouts are tomorrow"James nodded eagerly and ran to get his broom.

Remus waited until James and Sirius had dragged Peter out the portrait hole, babbling about quidditch. Lily looked over at the movement. "Are you ok? You look like crap."

"Remus nodded. "Chronic illness. I'm used to it." he said, making his way to the exit.

"Ok, well I hope it gets better soon" she called after him.

* * *

Remus knocked twice, before hearing the call "Enter" Remus opened the door and stepped into the transfiguration office. "Mr. Lupin. I was about to call on you." He approached the desk which allowed his teacher to get a better look at him. "Are you alright? You look rather ill."

Remus sat opposite her and winced. "I'm used to it. Happens every time."

McGonagall pushed aside thoughts of feeling sorry for her student, knowing he wouldn't want the pity and moved to the task at hand. "Have you come up with an excuse yet?"

"A few ideas."

"Do elaborate"

"First, i could occasionally claim that I'm sick. Too often and people might make the connection." This received a nod. "Second, I could have a family emergency. Someone is severely ill or dying, and I'd have to go visit them, and third, which is kind of in place for this month, i say that I have a rare chronic illness or genetic disease that has no cure, but that I am part of a clinical trial."

"Impressive Mr. Lupin." her expression complied with her statement. "I was not expecting such preparedness from a boy of twelve." She thought for a moment. "Why is the third option partially in place for this month?" the scotswoman asked gently.

"I told Lily I have a chronic illness so that she'd stop pestering me about looking horrible."

"I see. Why don't we use that every other month, and find others in between?"

Remus grunted his approval, his energy fading fast.

"Remus, Ms. Evans  _was_  correct to show concern. You  _do_  look like crap." Remus gave a small smile at his professor's language, which she returned. "Are you going to take yourself to the hospital wing before you wind up on the floor, or am I going to have to escort you there myself?"

"Can't I just go back to my dorm?" Green eyes bored into green until Remus snapped away. "I'm going, I'm going" Her eyes followed him out of the office. Then McGonagall took on feline form, and followed him covertly down the corridor.

"I don't need an escort Professor" Remus called over his shoulder. McGonagall's form replaced the tabby's. She opened her mouth to speak bit was beaten to it. "My hearing is quite acute, and it isn't exactly getting any worse." The woman nodded.

"I trust that you are on your way. I'll be seeing you Mr Lupin" with that, she turned and began to retrace her steps.

Arriving at the hospital wing, Remus flopped down on the nearest bed and clocked out before Nurse Biddle had a chance to realize she had a new patient. When she finally did see him sprawled over the bed, she removed his shoes with her wand, fixed it so that he was actually  _on_  the bed, and conjured a blanket. Then she let him sleep.

* * *

Remus's eyes snapped open to see a face looming over his. In the dim light, he couldn't see who it was, though he smelled potions and antiseptic, and the height was about right for the nurse. "Nurse Biddle? Wha' timesit?"

"Its nearly seven. I didn't want to wake you but we really must get moving." She helped Remus to stand, and together they made their way outside and across the grounds to the whomping willow. Levitating a stick, she poked the knot, and led him inside the small tunnel, finally emerging at a ladder and trapdoor.

"Once you go up, and closed the door, I'll lock it behind you and activate the charms and wards. Upstairs you will find a small safe in which you may keep your belongings, though I'd advise only touching the handle."

Remus nodded and climbed the ladder. "I'll be back at dawn to collect you."  _you have_ no  _idea how literal that could be._

Closing the door, he muttered a quick "Thanks" to the witch below, and observed his surroundings. He was currently in a sparsely furnished sitting room, a kitchen was down the hall, and a set of stairs led up to the second level.  _This is way more space than the basement at home_  he thought, climbing the stairs. The first door on the landing revealed a small bedroom with an old bed and wardrobe. The other held a larger bed, a dresser, and a small silver safe.

Looking out the window, and realizing he was short on time, Remus carefully opened the safe, stripped, then placed his clothes and wand inside and latched the door. As he sat on the bed and waited, he couldn't help but wonder where people believed him to be.

He knew the moon was rising without looking. He could feel it in his bones; they began to ache and his muscles stiffened.

When the moon did rise, his screams rose with it. Bones began to lengthen and break within his body, coarse follicles forced their way up through his pores. His head re-oriented itself while his face stretched out, and pointed claws pushed through his fingertips. The strangled screams turned into howls as the man became wolf.


	10. Wane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Too tired to deal with their shit.

 

**24 September 1972**

The transformation from wolf to human - on its own- was less painful than that at moonrise. But couple it with the gashes, bites and bruised or broken bones caused by the wolf, and it was hell on fire.

Remus didn't remember leaving the shack. When he opened his eyes, all he could see was dim light filtering through the bandages wrapped around his head.

" _No_ Mr. Potter. For the last time, Mr Lupin is not here. He is participating in a medical trial and will not return until tomorrow morning at the earliest. Now  _please_  return to your dorm." Now he was sure he was in the hospital wing, and judging by the nurse's irritated voice, this was not the first time his friends had come looking for him.

"Nurse?" Remus called. Though all that came out was "Nnngghh"

Her head turned to his curtained-off bed. "Remus, are you awake?"

He grunted in reply. "Thank goodness. I was starting to get worried. You did quite the damage to yourself young man."

"Ha' 'ba?" was the closest articulation he got to 'how bad?'

"You managed to bruise three ribs, crack your skull, and rip your forearm open. Plus all the other scrapes and bites, you lost quite a bit of blood."

The patient nodded. The wolf hadn't liked being somewhere new. When it was anxious or scared, Remus usually ended up taking the blow.

"Drink this. It'll Help speed the healing process." a vial was placed to his lips, and the contents poured down his throat. As he drifted off to sleep, he heard the nurse say "Poor boy got the short straw in life…"

* * *

Remus returned to school as predicted on Tuesday morning, just before breakfast, and despite having slept for the better part of two days, he was still exhausted. His wounds had yet to heal completely, but Remus had managed to convince Nurse Biddle that he needed to return to class as quickly as possible.

By the time he had limped to the great hall, breakfast was in full swing. Students chatted about classes and friends, and  _his_  friends looked a little too happy. "What did you do?" Remus asked when he approached the table.

"We're celebrating." said James. Remus raised an eyebrow, so Sirius pitched in.

"Meet Gryffindor's new beater and chaser."

"Congratulations! You guys made it?"

"Of course we did you dolt. Who else?"

This was too much of Sirius's ego after a moon so Remus changed the topic. "Seriously though. What did you do?"

"You'll see." Peter mumbled before returning to his breakfast.

Sitting down nervously, Remus pulled out his cutlery and dug in, helping himself to everything in sight. When he looked up from his second empty plate, the tone of conversation had changed. No longer were students jovial or complaining. Now students were muttering to each other with frustration and fear, no one however, had gotten up. Scanning the room, one could see several people jerk upwards, as though preparing to rise but not being able to.

Remus stared at his friends. "What? We have a test today!" James said defensively.

* * *

"You stuck the entire school to their seats merely to avoid writing a  _test?"_

McGonagall was annoyed. No, scratch that, she was ticked. She had  _really_  hoped that they had gotten this out of their systems last year. "Potter, Black, Pettigrew, twenty points apiece."

Sirius opened his mouth to protest but McGonagall's glare shut him up. "And you will each serve detention tomorrow night." Six eyes fell to the floor, James and Sirius hurt because that was their first practice, Peter because he didn't really think he had a hand in this. He had thought the idea was funny sure, but the other two had done all the sticking charms, So he didn't really see why he should be punished with them. He only stayed because they put up with him. Even the Hufflepuffs-who were known to be friendly-avoided him as much as possible. Peter was pretty sure that James only put up with him because they were socialized together when they were younger, and Sirius mostly ignored him unless he had something revolutionary to say, and that didn't happen that often.

Remus seemed different than the other guys though. He may not listen intently, and he laughs at Peter's expense, but he did seem to hold some sort of care for the well being of the  _entire_  group. Remus was hard to read though. His roommate seemed guarded, like he was hiding something.

Letting it go, He tuned back into McGonagall's lecture in time to learn that his detention would be with the groundskeeper.

_People can have their secrets. Besides, they're the only ones who put up with me and I'll be devoured anywhere else_


	11. Sugar and Spice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And everything nice? Yeah right.

 

**31 October 1972**

Hallowe'en was up and Remus was ready. His pockets were stocked with candy and the joy buzzer his father had given him on April fool's, and there was a plan. It had started at four thirty AM.

Remus had roused his friends, and they had split their separate ways. James had taken his broom and flown to the girls' side of the tower, and slipped in all kinds of animated rubber creepy crawlies. Remus, Sirius, and Peter, had gone to the entrance hall, where they too had split. The werewolf was headed to the kitchens to enlist the help of the elves, while the other two tricked out the Great Hall.

By six thirty they were done and on their way back to Gryffindor tower when they ran into Peeves. Now, Hogwarts's resident poltergeist was generally bad news. Especially if you were late for class or out of bed. James and Sirius however, see to have struck up what could only be categorized as a sort of business relationship. In other words, he approved of their behavior and would contribute to its success.

"Ooh, out for a morning stroll, Black?"

"You could say that." Sirius replied with a smirk.

"Say, Peeves, care to cause some mayhem?" Asked Remus.

Peeves spun excitedly in a circle. "Always dear sir. Do go on"

"You see, the elves have this pot they use to collect the grease from bacon and such." Peeves nodded, and Peter slipped away around a corner- he was having no part in this one. "I'm sure they would be very pleased if someone offered to take it out for them. They just don't need to know that it's being dumped in the Slytherin dormitories…"

Peeves cackled and shot off down the corridor.

Sirius glared at Remus. "Thanks. Andy's gonna kill me now"

"Didn't think about that. Shouldn't you be more concerned about the others?" Remus asked, confused.

"Maybe if they were smart enough to figure out that it was me."

"I thought Andromeda was the nice one."

"Andy may not be evil but she's still a Black"

* * *

When breakfast rolled around people were already frazzled. The Gryffindor girls because they woke up to spiders, the boys because their extra hour of sleep was abruptly ended by banshee - like shrieks, and other students from different houses had pulled their own pranks, resulting in a general distrust of one another.

When the Slytherins finally shuffled into the Great Hall nobody said a word. Until seventh year Fabian Prewett said what most were thinking. Audible only to the surrounding Gryffindors and passing Slytherin were the words "Didn't know Snape had so many siblings"

The hall quickly erupted into laughter as the comment spread like wildfire amongst the students, including -surprisingly enough- some Slytherins. Most were too tired to care, but Snape was staring daggers at s select group of Gryffindor boys. And so was Lily.

"What?" James asked, perplexed. "I didn't do  _that_! I don't know where their common room is."

"Sure Potter, you just orchestrated it. Didn't have the nerve to do it yourself."

James looked to his friends, who were succeeding in hiding their grins-including peter for a change. Either that or he didn't know that they had used Peeves for anything.

Everyone's nerves calmed when nothing drastic happened while they ate, and the castle resumed its daily routine.

About halfway through second period, breakfast started to take effect. The hair of the students and teachers was changing to those of their house.

Romulus decided to eat lunch at the Gryffindor table that day, having been harassed by his own house for his plots.

"What did you do that got then so pissed of?" Sirius asked in awe.

"Charmed their books to spell out backwards."

Remus dropped his fork. "If you ever do that to me-"

"Calm down Remus, it's not healthy to be so obsessed about books" James said, grabbing another sandwich.

Remus looked indignant, but before he could open his mouth, his brother beat him to it.

"So, what else is on the menu for today?"

Sirius smirked. "You'll have to wait like everyone else."

A fifth year prefect glanced over nervously. "That never means good things. That look is a forbinger of mayhem."

The prefect was right. Throughout the day, classrooms were stuck shut, bathrooms were littered with sticking traps, and hallways were impassable for various reasons.

Sirius and Remus had teamed up for a pranking exercise involving turning the charms corridor into a slip&slide when Remus froze and yanked his partner into a hidden nook behind a tapestry.

"Oi, what was that for? I am  _not_ into this yet."

"Sirius, No! Just shut up" Remus hissed.

"Why? I didn't-" Silenced by a hand over his mouth, Sirius shut up.

"Someone's-"

Footsteps echoed in the corridor. "What in Merlin's name is this?"

"Ruddy little bastards. I'll catch them, must've run off." Remus released his hold over Sirius's mouth once the mumbling of the caretaker had faded.

"That man's a creep. Makes me miss Smitty." muttered Sirius. "how'd you know he was coming anyway?"

"Heard him." Remus had actually smelled him first, but that was just asking for suspicion.

"Huh. Guess i wasn't paying attention."

"Do you ever?"

* * *

Dinner was quite an affair. Sirius and Peter (mostly Sirius) had worked on time-delaying sticking charms on everything in the hall. They had been set to activate for various time frames after dinner had started. At first it was just the cutlery stuck to the table. Then, while people were yanking on their forks, they would suddenly unstick from the table and onto their hands instead. Food, plates, cups, tables, benches- everything would stick at some point or another.

This somehow resulted in an all out food fight, which ended promptly when Professor Dumbledore was splattered with pasta. In the short reprieve, he had the entire student body captivated in fear. Then he stood, picked up a meatball and flung it at the transfiguration professor. War ensued once again, and resulted in only one case of cutlery to the face.

Romulus froze when he saw his brother get smacked in the face by a ladle. He wasn't the one with a fork in his eye but this was still bad news. "Uh, Remus? We gotta go." Rom grabbed his arm and dragged him from the great hall.

"What was that for?" Remus glared at his brother. With his adrenaline fading, all Remus could feel of his face was pain. "Shit"

The werewolf started running, his brother hot on his tail- for the first 30 seconds or so.

"Damn you can move" Exclaimed Romulus as he caught up with Remus outside the hospital wing." Remus merely mumbled and shrugged before shoving open the door with his shoulder.

Nurse Biddle looked up from the patient whose back was to them. Remus would've sworn he heard her curse under her breath, except he was a little busy trying to wheeze around his swollen tongue.

"Lie down and hold this to your eye." she told her greasy green- haired patient. "I'll be back shortly" she disappeared into her supply room in the back in search of a salve to soothe the blisters on her new patients face.

Romulus had sat his sibling on a bed and waited for the nurse. The entire right side of Remus's face was blistered and angry red. His eye had swollen shut and his lips were starting to lose their colour.

His visible eye rolled back and Remus slumped to the bed, making stuttered rasping noises.

"Remus!" Rom shook his brother's shoulders.

The other patient in the ward had sat up. "Get the nurse!" Rom pleaded.

"Lupin. What on earth had you done now?" drawled the Slytherin.

"Snape he's not breathing so shut up and get the nurse!" Panic flickered across Snape's face as he leapt up and dashed off, only to return moments later with the nurse.

She pulled out her wand and started murmuring in Latin. Flicking and tracing patterns as she did so. "Lupin, there's a short orange vial on my desk. Get it. Snape, have a teacher floo the hospital." the two dashed off, leaving Nurse Biddle with her patient. Romulus sped back into the room, vial in hand, and tripped. The glass bottle was saved by a flick of the wand, "Hold his mouth open and pour this in."

Romulus did as ordered and the nurse continued murmuring. The swelling had abated when the healers arrived, but only with a wand working against it.

Two men in green robes swooped in and took over seamlessly. Nurse Biddle drew the curtains to Remus's bed and pulled the other Lupin away. "What  _happened_?"

"Food fight. Flying ladle…" He was shaking.  _I just got my brother back…_

"He's going to be fine Mr. Lupin, but for that to happen faster, you have to calm down and tell me what happened."

Taking a deep breath, Romulus gave a brief explanation of the events in the Great Hall. Snape had chosen this moment to return to the hospital wing, compress still held to his eye. He looked like he wanted to say something But thought better of it and returned to his bed on the far side of the wing. The commotion from Remus's bed had calmed, and a soft wheezing could be heard by the back to the youth in from of her, Nurse Biddle resumed her questioning. "Does he have any allergies?"

Romulus looked down. "I don't really know him that well yet. Until September we hadn't seen each other since we were little. The only allergy I know of is silver."

"That shouldn't cause anaphylaxis unless he consumed it, though coupled with something else it may have exaggerated the effect. Are there any foods he avoids?"

"I'm sorry. I really don't know. We're in different houses and I barely eat with him. Maybe the healers can run tests."

As if on cue, the men in green emerged from the curtain. "His breathing should return to normal shortly. He's not awake yet but you're welcome to go see him" the taller healers directed at Romulus.

Nurse Biddle stood. "Thank you. Were you able to determine the allergen?"

This time the shorter man spoke. "The boy seems to have an anaphylactic reaction to paprika." Snape stifled a snort from his place at the other end of the wing. The men left, and the nurse returned to her initial food fight victim.

Romulus sat by his brother, to wait for his awakening. He didn't wait long, which was good because he probably couldn't have sat still for much longer.

"Wha" Remus managed, before being smothered by a hug from his brother.

* * *

Remus was released and back to the tower by nine. His face was still red, but he managed to pass that of as part of his paprika allergy as well. Remus ducked out as soon as possible and dashed up to his room, only to be assaulted by more questions once he got there.

"Are you ok?" Sirius's question was barely audible over the onslaught of questions from the other two.

"Yeah. Just have to stay away from bonnet peppers." James and Peter stopped their bombardment of questions.

"Wait" James started before Peter took over.

"You're allergic to paprika?" Remus nodded.

"Apparently" the other three boys shared a glance, and when their eyes met they erupted into fits of laughter.

"You almost died from a  _spice_?" James managed as he practically rolled around the floor.

"I think we've established that yes." Remus rolled his eyes and stepped over his friends to his bed by the window. Taking a seat, he gazed out the window at the waning crescent moon  _You couldn't make my life any easier could you?_  Mere minutes later, his eyes began to droop, and he dared to make a request of his cackling friends. "Would you mind shutting up? Or at least restraining yourselves to snickering? I really am rather tired."

 


	12. The Swap

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost Identical, Almost twins

 

**17 November 1972**

With the waxing gibbous came the cyclically predictable rise in restlessness of Hogwarts's student werewolf. Having greatly improved upon the silence aspect of his morning routine, Remus was out and exploring the castle dark and early.

So far, in his pre-lunar morning strolls- stroll not really being the right word as he moved with a purpose without actually having one - he had discovered the location of the kitchens, the headmaster's tower, several dungeons, a tower that held only an old desk and book, and several hidden passageways- including one that led into the village. This cold morning, he had started with the northern section of the seventh floor. Working his way up and down staircases and corridors, and through secret passageways, he found himself up a spiral staircase from the fifth floor. The wooden door in front of which he stood adorned with only a bronze eagle knocker. There were no doorknobs or keyhole to grant access.

Curiosity leaped up in Remus's mind and he knocked. The eagle opened its beak and spoke softly. "Feed me and I live, yet give me a drink and I will die."

"A riddle?" Remus pondered aloud.  _What could be protected by a_ riddle  _at_ Hogwarts  _of all places?_  Remus took a seat on the step to contemplate the question. Then he stood and started pacing back and forth in front of the torch that lit the landing. Eyes on the torch, he stopped. "Fire. The solution to the riddle is fire."

"Excellent deduction." The eagle responded as the door swung open to reveal a magnificent room. It was wide and round, with a domed ceiling and high windows overlooking the grounds and mountains. The ceiling was painted with stars, and the floor was covered in a deep blue carpet.

"Morning Lupin" Remus looked over to see a few eager-or desperate- fifth and seventh year students working away at the round tables that scattered the room.

Remus was still soaking in the room when the door beside a marble statue of a woman on the other side of the room swung open. Romulus stepped off the staircase and stopped to stare at his brother.

"Morning Lupin." Called another studious student. Rom didn't respond, he simply did in the doorway and gaped at the sandy-haired boy gaping from across the room. "What are you staying at?" The seventh year asked, noticing that the young Ravenclaw had yet to move from the stairs. Following the boy's gaze, she found Remus. "Lupin? But…" her gaze flicked back and forth between the two.

"Oh, come on! There's two of them?" a fifth year boy asked in horror.

Other heads started to pop up, and Romulus deemed that he should take action. Striding across the room, he pulled his brother through the door and down the stairs, offering a "see you at breakfast, please don't tell Flitwick" to his housemates as he left.

Remus, who had yet to speak, spoke. "Shouldn't you get dressed?"

" _That's_ where we're starting? Really?" Both Lupins were tapping their feet softly on the floor.

"Well you  _are_  still in your pyjamas."

"Remus! How did you get into Ravenclaw tower?"

"The riddle really wasn't that hard…"

"Damn. They already don't like me."

"Will it make you feel better if I show you Gryffindor?" Remus asked, trying to compensate.

His brother perked up. The foot had stopped tapping and Romulus's full attention was directed at his doppelganger. "I guess." He started walking.

"You may want to get dressed first. It'll be breakfast once we get back." Rom turned on his heel and booked it up the stairs, returning minutes later fully dressed. Remus chuckled to himself at the sloppy tie and the buttons in the wrong holes. "Let's go then." he said, leading the way.

"What are you doing up so early anyway?" asked the blue - eyed Lupin to the gold.

"The moon makes me restless so I explore the castle in the mornings. Why are  _you_  up so early?"

"I never sleep late. Once I'm up, I'm up. I can't just lie in bed and wait. Can't sit still. It's one of the reasons they don't really like me"

"What a Ravenclaw without books?" Remus joked.

Romulus looked over before tripping and returned his eyes to where he was going before responding. "No, I like learning and reading, but I generally disrupt everyone else because I don't sit quietly."

The pair stopped taking when they approached the Fat Lady, who looked sternly from Remus to Romulus.

"Pavlova" said Remus quickly, before she could scold him. Climbing through the portrait hole, it was Romulus's turn to stand speechless.

"Welcome to Gryffindor tower." Remus paired his words with a sweeping bow, gesturing around the room. "Come on, I'll show you our dorm." Remus could hear someone coming down the girls stairs and he didn't want to be caught committing 'treason'.

"This place is awesome!" Romulus said, following his brother up the spiraling stairs to the top of the tower.

Opening the door quickly, so that it wouldn't creak, Remus flashed his brother a mischievous look. "Shall we?"

"With pleasure"

The pair crept into the room, one headed for James's bed, the other for Sirius's. On a silent count of three, they pounced.

James yelled and felt out of his bed onto the cold floor, inducing a yelp of protest to the cold.

Sirius simply screamed. "Sirius you scream like a girl."said Remus, his hands clamped over his ears.

"Remus! It's too early!"protested James, glaring at his attacker through the dim light.

Sirius scowled at his own. "Yeah Remus its  _way_ -"Sirius stopped mid-sentence to look from his attacker to James's. "Remus?"

"Yes?" was the simultaneous reply.

Sirius's head swiveled like a bobble head, bouncing from one Lupin to the other.

"Cut the crap Remmy, which ones the duplicate?"

By this point, Peter had awakened, and observing from the back, he noticed something. "There is no duplicate." Hazel, grey, blue, and green eyes all shifted to Peter. "Its Romulus."

James was about to but Peter wasn't done. "Remus is taller, see?" He climbed out of bed and few a line with his hand. Remus was about an inch and a half taller." Now that he was closer, he could see their faces. Plus, Remus's eyes aren't blue." He slipped over the fact that Remus also had a long scar on his collarbone because he felt that it was rather rude.

Sirius maneuvered himself around the Lupin brothers and scrutinized them himself. "Huh. Coulda fooled McGonagall."

"Lets try it!" Romulus turned to his brother. "It wouldn't work with McGonagall because we're in the same class, but we could swap for everything else."

Mischief began to glimmer in Sirius's eyes. "This could be very helpful in our endeavors"

"Wait a minute" James stepped in, directing his attention to the elder Lupin. "we're missing the important question here. Obviously Remus let you in, but why the hell are you up so early?"

"No, that part must be genetic, the  _real_  question is how did he find you so early?" usually, Sirius would be appalled to learn that someone willingly got up so early, but considering his roommate's behavior, he let it slide.

Remus shrugged. "Got into the tower by accident."

Sirius's jaw hit the floor. " _Ravenclaw_  tower? We haven't been able to find any common rooms on  _purpose_!"

"Leads up from the fifth floor on the north side. Riddle to get in, no password."

"First the kitchens, now Ravenclaw, what's next? Hufflepuff?" James was irritated. He had been searching for castle secrets for a year and had nothing to show for it.

"I have a general Idea. You did however skip over several shortcuts and a passageway to Hogsmeade" said Remus, smirking as his friends squirmed with bugged eyes.

"You know, I may not be in their house or anything, so I'm not really one to judge, but I don't think I've ever seen those two speechless"

"I'll need a map to remember where all these things are" Peter groaned breaking the silence.

Sirius snapped to attention. "That's  _brilliant_! We could map the castle!" All eyes were on Sirius, and for once, he didn't care that he was a mess and being stared at. "We could plot all the classrooms, dorms, tunnels, everything!"

Remus was the first to snap out of it. "Do you have any idea how  _long_ that would take? This place is huge!"

"Maybe a few months if we all pitched in and worked hard at it." Romulus was in. The excitement was fueling his ADHD and he was bouncing all around the cold room. "The sooner we start, the better."

James looked like he wanted to start immediately, but he restrained himself. "Tomorrow afternoon.  _After_ we cream Slytherin."

Sirius nodded his agreement, and with that decided, the five headed down to breakfast. Upon arrival, Remus split from the group and headed, in his brother's robes, to the Ravenclaw table. He ate completely undisturbed.

The boys at the Gryffindor table however had their cover blown. Lily had been intending to sit across from Remus to ask for some Defense clarification, but she found the Ravenclaw in his stead.

Crossing her arms, she merely stood in the aisle, her back to the rest of the hall and demanded to know where Remus was.

"Evans sit down!" hissed Sirius, "preferably before you make a scene!"

She sat, though it was not the most graceful of actions as she was glaring across the table the whole time.

Romulus spoke before Lily had a chance to demand what was going on. "We switched places okay? We're both still going to classes today, we just wanted to see who would notice." His words were calm and concise, but his housemates had begun to notice that the table was shaking and were searching for the source. He placed a hand on his bouncing leg as a temporary fix for the twitching muscles and occupied himself with his breakfast.

"Please don't tell." Peter looked at her with pleading eyes. He  _really_  didn't want to get in trouble for something this harmless.

Glancing over at the Ravenclaw table, and noticing no disruptions, Lily caved. "Fine. But only as long as nothing goes wrong"

Peter accepted "That's fair."

James and Sirius also accepted but were taken aback. "What makes you think something is going to go wrong?" the shorter black-haired boy demanded. Lily said nothing. She took a last look at the Lupin in front of her, and went to sit with some third years further down the table.

"Why would something go wrong?" James was still confused about this topic. It wasn't as if  _everything_  that ever went wrong was their fault.

Romulus paused his shoveling. "Really? 95% of what goes wrong here is your fault." James resigned himself as the boy next to him resumed consuming everything in sight.

* * *

The day was set to begin with double transfiguration. The Lupins chose to sit together to arouse less suspicion. Unfortunately, the only place where this was possible was directly in front of James, Sirius, and Peter. When McGonagall arrived in the classroom, her gaze lingered on the two for just a fraction of a second longer than usual. This set Remus's senses on high alert.  _Does she suspect something? Is she onto us?_

His nervous twitching set his uncharacteristically calm sibling off. It got worse when she approached their desk.  _Shit. She's onto us! CALM Remus CALM._  The silent mantra never worked, and it certainly did nothing to calm his brother who was now drumming the beat to Simon and Garfunkel's 'Sound of Silence'. It had caught the attention of some of the muggleborns, and a few had begin to hum along.

Needless to say, McGonagall did not approve of classroom disruptions. When she halted in front of their desk, Remus was freaking out internals, and his sibling was expressing it in his tapping on the worn desk and floor. Both boys froze like deer in the headlights when their professor caught them with her gaze. "Do you boys need to take a walk?"

The pair gulped. The real answer was yes. Remus had tons of excess energy because the moon was approaching, and Romulus always had too much bounce. "No professor." they said in tandem.

"Good, now is this a musical number you'd like to share with the class or may I begin?" Receiving silence as a response, McGonagall returned to her desk at the front of the room, called Siruis and James out for passing notes, and began to explain the principles of the transfiguration of living beings.

* * *

From transfiguration, Remus went out to the greenhouses for Herbology with the Ravenclaws, while his peers headed down to the dungeons for Potions with Slughorn. Herbology passed flawlessly -having already done the lesson made the work rather simple, and he much preferred this to potions.

* * *

At lunch, Remus opted to eat with his temporary classmates. They didn't say much, as most were reading or debating boring topics such as the specific interpretation of a passage in A History of Magic. The Slytherins on the other hand, were rather chatty, and they were  _not_  sending out good vibes.

He practically jumped out of his seat when a fourth year tapped him on the shoulder. "Jumpy today are we?" Remus felt his face heat up. He had been so absorbed in the conversation from the adjacent table that he must have zoned out. "Could you pass the butter?"

"Sure" Remus passed the requested item and became lost in thought, trying to comprehend what he had heard. When the bell rang, he rose from his thoughts to march up the stairs to the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom. The subject of the day were banshees. This would generally be a class that interested Remus, but he had already read the book and Professor Smith seemed a little off kilter today. He kept glossing over topics of discussion and deflecting questions that arose. A canine nose was definitely not required to deduce that he was on edge about something.

The clock struck three and the class swarmed to the heavy wooden door and flung it open-only to slam it shut again and run for the window for fresh air. Remus didn't make it in time, and the stench got to his over-sensitive olfactory gland.

 


	13. Caught

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Banter and old memories

 

**19 November 1972**

Remus opened his eyes groggily to see several faces peering down at him. None of those faces belonged to those he had spent the day in classes with. Before the worried faces had a chance to un-blur themselves the nurse had been called over, which of course meant that his friends were corralled away from his bed.

"Good morning Mr Lupin" the nurse said, bending over to examine her patient. "You fell rather forcefully into a window ledge."

_Morning? Last I checked it was three in the afternoon._

"Its Sunday dear" Biddle must have noticed the the confusion displayed on his paler than usual face.

Remus sat up abruptly and frozen the bright room swam around him.

The first thing Remus noticed when the room stopped spinning was that it was practically full. And it wasn't  _just_  his friends that made it seem full. About two thirds of the beds were full of sleeping students.

"What the hell happened?" He demanded, directing the question to his friends as opposed to the nurse. Surprisingly, they kept quiet. Romulus's many nervous ticks were acting up as he glanced around the room. It was then Remus noticed that there were other conscious people in the infirmary. Siblings and friends of the other patients filled the spaces between the beds.

The young werewolf lay back down, and tried to bury himself in the blankets. "You don't seem to have sustained any lasting damage, but you'll stay the night for observation anyway." Nurse Biddle winked, then turned to tend to her other patients. "You have ten minutes" she said, as she strode past James, Sirius, Peter, and Romulus.

They didn't need to be told twice. The three Gryffindors succeeded in calmly walking to greet their friend. Romulus was not  _quite_ as successful in containing his excitement, and Remus has next to no time to brace himself for the impending tackle and bear hug.

"Lupin, let him breathe."

"Before we get kicked out for endangering a patient please?"

Sirius had stayed uncharacteristically quiet up to this point. "You're the only one awake yet." He said solemnly.

Remus slid up this time, drastically reducing the swirling colours of the hospital wing. "About that, could someone  _please_  tell me what happened? I was about to leave defense and then iIwoke up here." James glanced from Remus to Romulus to Sirius to Peter.

It was Romulus who finally spoke. His voice was almost a whisper. "Someone gassed The third floor with a sleeping potion."

Remus stared at his brother in shock, his anger beginning to flare up to the point where his nostrils flared.

At this, Peter glanced at the nurse. "I think we'll get kicked out for 'over exerting him'. Topic change?"

"Sounds good." Remus frowned at James's words, but if he argued Nurse Biddle would surely pop out of nowhere and sedate him for an hour or two.

"Fine. Rom, how was playing Gryffindor for a day?"

All four visitors snorted. "You blind mate?" Sirius asked, "He still  _is_  you".

Upon close scrutiny of his brother, Remus noted that he was in fact in Gryffindor robes. He opened his mouth to ask why but James spoke up.

"We couldn't exactly admit that you were him and he was you."

"Didn't want you to get in trouble little bro"

"Little bro? Really, I have an inch on you!"

"I have two months on you. Call it even?"

Remus didn't respond so James stepped in to avoid awkward silence. "How was Ravenclaw? "

"Quiet I guess. I thought McGonagall had us made for a minute though."

"Slughorn  _definitely_ didn't make us. What did you do to make him hate you so much?"

Remus looked quizzically at his brother. "He's not normally like that?" He had thought Slughorn disliked him because of his inadequacy in the class.

"Oh come on, he's not that bad."

"Come off it James. He likes you because your family is rich and powerful."

"So's yours Sirius."

"The difference being that your family doesn't consider you a disgrace!" The Lupins glanced at each other. This was news to them.

James wanted to retort that comment, but was prevented by a clearing of the throat behind him.

The young Potter didn't need to turn around. His shoulders slumped and his chin drooped.

"Alright, alright. We're leaving." Peter led Sirius and James out of the hospital wing, but Romulus lagged behind.

"I'll be out of your hair in a minute." He felt Nurse Biddle's eyes leave the back of his head."Seriously Remus, are you OK?"

Remus rolled his eyes. "Yes I'm OK. If those three weren't here we couldn't swap more regularly."

The brothers shared a smirk before the elder of the two rose and headed for the door. He dodged past professor McGonagall as she entered and twirled as he disappeared around the corner.

For a few moments, Remus had a small smile on his face. That was until he realized that his head of house was headed towards him. _Shit. I should've known we couldn't fool her._

"Good morning " McGonagall had closed the curtain around his bed despite the fact that all the other visitors had left the wing. "How was your brief stay in Ravenclaw?"

The transfiguration professor chuckled as her pupil hung his head in shame, only to rise up slowly when he heard her amusement. "So… I'm not in trouble?"

"Not this time, No. To be honest I expected it sooner." Remus sat dumbstruck in front of his professor as she continued. "Lupin, do you have any idea why you reacted differently to this?"

Remus sighed. He really hadn't wanted to let on that he had heightened senses. "I have a canine sense of smell, but the sensory receptors in my brain are human so I guess they got overloaded."

"Interesting. That explains why you got sick and your 'classmates' didn't. I presume your recovery is also linked to your condition"

"Likely"

"You know, you seem to have a fuller understanding of it than many professionals I've met."

He felt his face flush. "Professor? Why did you let Romulus stay if you knew?"

"Because Mr. Lupin.  _You_  are not ill this month, your brother is." With that, she stood to leave.

"Thank you professor"

"Anytime."

* * *

A gentle breeze blew through the open window on a calm summer's night. Leaves rustle and scratched along the wall. At this point, he realized something was wrong -leaves should  _not_  be scratching. Eyes should also not be glowing in the window. And they  _definitely_ shouldn't be getting closer. Louder scratches sounded as claws dug into wood and the large grey beast climbed into his bedroom. His heart was pounding in his ears and wolves were howling at the full moon overhead.  _I don't want to die! Get out of here!_ But his voice didn't work. His muscles froze and he was immobilized in his bed as the massive grey wolf stared him down. A guttural growl could be heard before the wolf lunged and clamped its jaws around the arm of its prey.

* * *

It was a good thing that the hospital wing was empty of conscious students when Nurse Biddle woke Remus from his slumber. He had been flailing, yes, but she was not expecting him to scream when she shook his arm. "Lupin. Quiet down!"

The flailing ceased immediately and her patient flushed bright red."Sorry ma'am-"

He was prevented from further explanation when Nurse Biddle grasped his hand and pulled him up. "No need to explain if you don't want to. Nightmares are a fact if life and some have it worse than others."

Remus said nothing. He heaved himself up into a standing position and gripped his escort's arm when the world spun around him. The walk out to the grounds was rather slow, and more of a stagger than a walk on Remus's part. The silence that had been kept from the castle was broken when they reached the small house.

Remus was already at the door when she spoke. "If you ever do want to talk, I'll find time to listen."

Remus nodded a small thanks and closed the door. First, he went in search of a blanket as the place was very drafty in the chill November air. Then he staggered up the stairs, folded his clothes neatly in the safe, locked it, and tried very hard not to fall back down the stairs. Remus sat in front of the fireplace staring out the window to the south, overlooking Hogsmeade and wondering if he'd ever get to have a life.

He felt his skin begin to itch as fur pushed up and his bones began to shift and break as the moon rose to his back.  _Somehow, I'll make a difference_.  _Someday..._

 


	14. Maybe Snark isn't a Solution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exhaustion, an altercation, a lesson, and a Slytherin.

 

**20 November 1972**

Remus surprised himself on Monday morning. First-by waking up on the floor and not in the hospital wing. Second, although he was still very sore and in pain, he wasn't completely incapacitated.

He managed to stand, dress himself, and work his way back to the castle before the nurse showed up.

Upon entering the hospital wing he soon realized why he hadn't run into her on the grounds- everyone else hit on Friday was waking up.

He caught her startled eye and sat where she motioned. Once she had worked her way down the ward, she approached Remus and scrutinized him for injury. "I actually feel ok for once." at her raised eyebrow he felt the need to elaborate. "I'm sore, but I guess the aftereffects from Friday either calmed or sedated-"

"If you have any issues you come straight back ."

"That's it? I'm free to go?" as if doubting her decision she resumed her visual inspection. Not wanting her to find any reason to hold him, Remus was up and out the door in a flash with a rushed "Thanks" over the shoulder.

He barreled down the corridors and past ghosts, then he came to an abrupt halt when he sank knee deep into a trick step.

A pair of hands took hold of his arms from behind and yanked the young boy free.

When Remus turned to thank the frail old man, the man startled and tottered on up the stairs. "That was odd…" he muttered as he continued down to the great hall for breakfast.

Still dressed in Romulus's Ravenclaw robes, he took a seat at the Gryffindor table, and was immediately assaulted with homework questions by Lily.

"At least let him catch his breath Evans" James muttered around his eggs.

Lilly rolled her eyes. "Have it your way Potter. See you later Remus." There was a swirl of red hair as Lily Evans stormed off down the table.

"Really? Did you have to push her away?" Remus scorned, turning to jab his friend in the shoulder. Romulus took this opportunity to steal the bacon from James's plate.

"Hey!"

"Sorry mate. Want it back?" Romulus asked around his mouthful of bacon.

"You guys are disgusting." said Sirius, cutting his bacon.

"Yeah well you're just plain weird. I mean really, who cuts their bacon?" Rolling his eyes at Peter, who was using the time of unwatched plates and platters to gorge himself, Remus went back to his porridge. He was starved as usual after a transformation, but every movement was stiff and painful. Forcing himself to finish his bowl, he rose and began his slow trek to the charms classroom.

"Remus, wait up!" Remus paused halfway up the staircase- which had begun shifting opposite to the direction in which he intended to go.

The elder Lupin caught up with his sibling as they walked onto the landing. "Do you want your robes back? Or do you want to be me again?"

Remus snorted. "No offense, but I think I like being me."

"You haven't had potions as me yet."

"I honestly think Slughorn would figure something was up when 'your' cauldron melted."

"Fair enough. He just really seems to hate you for some reason." Leading down the corridor, Romulus called after his brother. "Come on, there's a bathroom to change in down here."

Rolling his eyes, Remus followed, although he probably knew the castle as well as, if not better than the rest of Second Year.

Back in their own robes, the Lupins split ways-Remus upstairs to charms, and Romulus, down to potions. Despite his head start, the Gryffindor barely made it to class on time and covertly collapsed in the closest vacant seat.

"My, my Lupin, since when are you ever late?" scolded a quiet voice.

"Class hasn't started yet Snape, therefore I'm not late."

"Says he who is regularly ten minutes early to everything?"

Remus dropped his head to the table with a soft thump. Evans called off her friend from his other side "Leave him alone Sev, he's clearly exhausted."

"Probably up late conspiring with his witless cohorts."

Remus would have defended his friends, but a) he was too tired and b) professor Flitwick chose that moment to scurry into the classroom.

"Good morning class" he called from tin front of his desk. "Today, we will be working on the velocity reduction charm." I would like everyone to take a few moments to read pages 67 and 68."

A soft groan rippled around the room as students pulled their books from their bags and began to read. "Do you think you're better than everyone else Lupin?" sneered Snape upon noticing that Remus had yet to pull out his book.

"Really, if you're going to criticize me, you may as well do it to your friend too." Remus point out gesturing towards Evans.

Snape looked over to see that she too had neglected to pull out the Standard Book of Spells.

"What?" she asked defensively. "we read it already."

Scowling, The Slytherin buried his nose in his ragged copy of  _The Standard book of Spells- Grade II_.

When the classroom noise started to rise once more, Flitwick deemed that he had given ample time to complete the reading.

"Alright class, let's see what you've learned. What is the incantation?"

" _Aresto momentum"_ Chorused twenty voices.

"Excellent! Now, who can-" The tiny professor was interrupted by a gentle, but firm knocking at the door. "Enter"

Gryffindor's newest prefect appeared around the door. "Sorry to interrupt professor."

"Not at all Mr. Longbottom. What can I do for you?"

"I've been sent to collect Ms. Evans sir."

The professor eyed the student in question quizzically. "Very well. Off you go Evans."

A very confused Lily Evans collected her books and followed the prefect from the room. As soon as she had left the class erupted into whispers. Each clique making their own assumptions about why she had been summoned.

"Alright now, that's enough." Flitwick dispersed a pile of baseball-sized balls around the classroom. "You will work in pairs today. Please do not throw them  _at_  each other's faces. Your goal is to attempt to slow them down before catching them. Hop to it."

Remus and Snape looked down nervously at the ball that sat between their desks. "It would seem that we will be working together." broached Remus quietly.

His partner scowled and picked up the ball. "So it would" Taking a few steps back, the Slytherin tossed the ball at Remus, who, startled, failed to attempt to slow the projectile. "Are you attempting to stop it with your mind?"

"No, I was startled" Remus said, tossing the ball towards an equally unexpecting Snape.

Snape bent to pick up the ball from where it had rolled "You made your point. Ready?" Remus nodded.

An hour later Remus set the ball down. He had almost managed to bring the ball to a complete stop, while his partner was still struggling with slowing it down.

"Why'd you stop Lupin? Trying to rub it in? Let the whole world know that you're better than me? You're no different than your friends." sneered the black-haired boy.

Remus frowned "No actually. I was going to say that you'll have more success if you make less abrupt movements with with your wand." He demonstrated a rapid drawing motion with a smooth stop. "It's like if a train stops too fast, you end up on your face.'"

Snape mirrored the movements and snapped his hand back down when he realized what he was doing.

"That actually looked a lot better" Remus smiled softly and retrieved the ball from the desk. "Ready?"

Snape raised his wand arm and nodded. Remus threw the ball and watched in horror as it flew straight at the face facing him.

Flitwick rushed over when Snape crashed back into the desks. The class had stopped to stare. A Slytherin on the floor, and a Gryffindor standing stock-still, arm still in the air from releasing the ball, in shock. That's what it looked like at least.

The tiny professor- having assured that his student was not injured- turned to scold Remus but his face split into a grin instead. "Excellent work Mr. Snape!" The student in question stood slowly, trying to comprehend what he had done so well. "You need to improve your aim, but the spell was cast perfectly!"

The confusion faced by the class was quickly replaced by understanding as Remus's arm began to move. The rapid acceleration took him off guard and sent him crashing to the floor, and laughter erupted around the room.

Back at the front of the room, professor Flitwick climbed onto his desk to attract the attention of his students. "I do believe that is enough for today. Remember that you have an essay due next class and enjoy your lunch." The group whooted and stormed the exit, bound for the great hall.

* * *

By transfiguration that afternoon, Evans had returned but the young witch refused to talk about why she had been called out.

"Did  _Evans_  get in trouble?"

"Come off it James and leave her be. Should she ever have the desire to spill I'm sure you'll be the first to find out." Remus chastised from his seat beside his brother. "Now kindly shut it and pay attention."

By the end of class the whispers had mostly died out. "Library after dinner?" Romulus asked his likeness on the way out of the room.

James and Sirius dropped their jaws. "What?" Remus asked defensively. "it's not like you guys have to come, you have quidditch practice tonight."

The black-haired pair smacked themselves for their idiocy. "RIGHT! Game debrief!" Exclaimed the shortest of the two.

"Besides" Remus continued as he struggled to keep up without letting on he was in pain "we're looking at cartography tonight."

Confusion spread over Peters pale features. "What? Why do you want to look at cards in a library?"

With a collective eye roll Remus informed Peter that  _cart_ -ography was the study of mapmaking and that it would be a useful skill if they wished to lay out the castle in ink.

* * *

Potions, put lightly was a nightmare. Slughorn had decided for some unnatural reason that Remus and Peter should be paired together for today's lesson- the Hair Raising potion. Remus had followed the instructions on the board to the letter, but he didn't understand the reactions that the professor was referring to. Peter was hopelessly trying to make himself useful, but he was miserable at balancing the scales and measuring and was likely mostly responsible for the eventual failure of the project.

On the way up to dinner, Remus and Peter were the subject of discussion for most of the class. Their heads and hands had become blackened when their cauldron-while it didn't explode- disintegrated in a puff of orange smoke.

Peter had not realized what had happened until after they had left the smoky classroom. He had simply been under the impression that his classmates had been laughing at Slughorn's regular overreaction to a seriously failed potion.

Remus on the other hand was far too used to the feeling of hair shrinking back into his skull.

And so it was with shiny heads that Remus and Peter followed James and Sirius into the great hall for dinner. Peter stopped dead in his tracks one landing short of the entrance hall going into full fledged Pettigrew panic mode. This included freezing up, stutters, shortness of breath, and occasionally tears.

"We can't go in there looking like this!"

"Peter, calm down. It's fine."

"No, it's not fine. I'm bald! I don't need to give people more reason to talk about me!"

"In case you haven't realized, I'm bald too, and my hair was significantly longer than yours."

As Remus continued to attempt to calm his friend down, the fifth year Prefect from earlier rounded the corner. "Hey. Pettigrew, and… Lupin, Right?" Remus nodded and raised an inquisitive eyebrow. "Right, Frank Longbottom" Remus took the offered hand. "What's up with him?" asked the prefect, gesturing at Peter, who had chosen to sit down on the plinth of a suit of armour.

Remus merely pointed to his own head. "Ah" said Frank, "I see' He swirled his wand and muttered for a moment before presenting Peter with a cap. "That's the best I can do mate, now how about we get dinner?"

Still winding down from his hysteria, Peter took the cap and placed it on his head.

* * *

"Nice to know you could join us" called James from halfway down the Gryffindor table.

Remus smiled. "Nice to know there's still food left." He learned rather quickly that sitting beside Sirius had been a mistake today. The other boy kept turning when he thought Remus wasn't looking to blow on his head. The first time he did this Peter pulled his cap a little more snugly over his ears.

"Is it just me, or is it a bit drafty in here?"

"Buzz off Sirius or I'll take a razor to your head while you sleep."

"REMMY! You wouldn't DARE!" James looked up from his plate and sniggered at the fear that was displayed all over his friend's face at the mention of a haircut.

Remus pulled his cheshire cat grin. "Try me."

Sirius's eyes went wide and his attention went directly to his plate.

* * *

On the way to the library, Remus noted that yes, his head was rather cold in the drafty halls, but that if he focused, he could feel differences in the drafts where he knew there to be hidden passages. "Remind me to do a full route of the castle before my hair grows back.

"Why's that?" asked Rom from his side. "You know what, never mind."

Inhaling deeply as they entered the library, Remus couldn't help but relax. The silence and smell of books had always been a comfort to him. Selecting a table in the far corner, the Lupins began assembling books over which to pour.

"Hey Lupin!" Pulled from his book-induced trance, Remus looked up to see that his brother had once again wandered off with a book, and that a senior level Slytherin was standing over him. "Would you hold still for a minute? There's something between my teeth and I need a mirror."

Remus threw his hands over his skull and replied in a mocking voice. "Ah, No! Please don't! I don't want to go the the infirmary with a cracked skull!"

The Slytherin spun his chair around and gripped his shoulders firmly. "What did you say to me punk?" Two more Slytherins emerged from the bookshelves, cracking their knuckles.

Remus sighed. "I  _said_  that I don't want your ugly face to crack my head." The playful sneer melted off his confrontor's face. "It's seven years of bad luck you know, I just don't know if they'll affect me too, and I'd rather not find out."

While the boy, who Remus believed to be in his sixth or seventh year, took a moment to process this, the young Lupin did the smart thing and ducked between his legs and darted off into the stacks.

He could hear them storming through the shelves from his hiding place high up on the bookshelf and sighed in relief as they went past his row. At least that is, until they called out to him from an alcove farther down. "Maybe we can't find you but we've got your brainy little twin here."

There was a smack and then a shriek and Remus was quickly and stealthily plodding his way over. On the last shelf he popped his head over the edge. What he saw was three burly seniors standing over his brother, whose face was gushing blood. "We aren't twins you bastard. Now leave us alone!"

The leader of the gang spun around with his wand out, ready to attack, and Remus saw this as his cue. He prepared to pounce.

"Boy! What on  _Earth_  are you doing up there?" Remus froze, and the Slytherins took this opportunity to flee. "Get down this instant!" The stern librarian rounded the corner, glaring daggers up at him.

"Sorry Madam, Pince,,," said Remus sheepishly, as he positioned himself to hop down. He landed more stiffly than usual.

"This is a place of  _study_  not  _play_."

"I know, but-"

"No buts. Who is your head of house?"

"Professor McGonagall but-"

"I said no buts, You are going straight to her office."

"But-" Madam Pince was about to shut her captive down again, but realized that that particular objection had not come from beside her and had sounded rather gurgly.

Turning on her heel, she found Romulus pinching his gushing nose.

"Oh dear,  _Episky_ " She tapped his nose with her wand. Does this have something to do with those Slytherin boys who came in earlier?"

Romulus nodded. "I knew something was up with them. No bags or books, and there are  _very_  few people who look genuinely happy to come in here. I'm letting you off this time, but if I  _ever_  catch you up there again, it will be straight to detention."

"Yes ma'am." said the two boys firmly. They scurried off to collect their things. Leaving the librarian to wonder why they had both responded.

* * *

Remus returned to his common room after walking to the hospital wing with his brother. His intention was to approach Evans for assistance with potions, but she vanished from the room by the time he had come back down from his dormitory with his books.

He sat down by the fire anyway, hoping to at least make some headway on the assignment when Frank Longbottom sat next to him. "On the record, I would advise against making enemies like Avery and Macnair." Remus looked up. He still had his book bag with him, and it was rather laden with texts. "Off the record though, you've got balls."

"You heard then?" Remus said, retrieving his book from the couch.

"I was a few rows over and on my way out. Sorry I didn't stick around"

"You couldn't have known"

"Nah, they didn't used to be this bad. Anyway, not that I was trying to eavesdrop or pry, but I heard a few of your classmates talking about your potions class today." His tone was gentle, and his eyes questioning.

Remus's ears went red. "Yeah, that wasn't sabotage. I'm just rubbish at potions and Slughorn hates me."

'Good. Not the rubbish or hating you part, but the sabotage part. Want some help? It's been awhile, but I'm decent at potions."

"Yeah, that'd be great. I'd be happy to get Ps at this rate."

Frank laughed. "You'll have to aim higher than that to get anywhere but it's a start"

Remus forced a smile onto his face. "I guess so."  _It'll take a miracle to get anywhere. I'll be lucky if I even make it through school with my identity intact._

 


	15. Friendly Altercations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Letters, stories and a fist

 

**19 December 1972**

By mid December, the majority of the school was drowning in assignments that had been long since assigned and forgotten. There were a few students for whom this was an exception within Gryffindor tower. The select few had finished and handed in all their assignments shortly after they were assigned and were relishing in the benefits of staying on top of their work. For Remus, being done meant that he had no excuse to help James, Sirius, and Peter muddle their ways through the heap of work they had amassed.

Having spent two and a half straight hours looking over his friends' shoulders at their books and work, he had begun to get restless. His friends, though grateful for the assistance, were beginning to get aggravated with the bouncing, humming, and tapping that were amplified when the full moon approached.

"Remus?"

"No James, you don't change the entire object being transfigured. You're just rearranging it. Think of it as reworking clay"

Sirius chuckled, "As helpful as that is, I don't think he was going to ask for help." He gestured to his own work. The normally elegant script had been replaced by a neat scrawl. "I think you need to take a break."

Remus looked at the parchment that Sirius was working on and immediately drew in his hands and feet, causing the table to stop shaking and lurching.

Peter looked like he still really needed help but his writing, which was usually pretty scratchy to begin with was borderline illegible. "Go for a walk or something Remus, you look like you need it."

"Yeah, You could finish the first floor on the map. I think it's almost done" said James, pulling the parchment they had been working on out of his bag.

Remus glanced between the three boys sitting around him. He knew that James and Sirius could probably get through their work if they tried, but Peter was a different story. Peter had a worse attention span that Romulus did, and a significantly lower thirst for knowledge. He seemed to have barely scraped through his first year with a passing grade and as a result, he lacked the basic foundations for the more advanced subjects discussed in the second year. Transfiguration, charms, and potions were especially difficult for him. Like trying to run before being able to crawl.

"You sure?" Remus asked his friends, though mostly directing the question at Peter, who nodded.

Sirius punched him lightly on the shoulder. "Now get out and stop breathing down our necks."

"At least a 45 minute break" piped in James.

"Alright, alright, I'm going. But if I find out that you guys have been goofing off while I'm gone you won't be getting any more help."

The boys started to protest but Remus was already on his way out the door.

* * *

It only took twenty minutes to finish the last two hallways on the first floor. The plan was to map out the known parts first, then focus their efforts on exploiting the secret tunnels and hideouts. The mapping of the first floor had only taken two weeks worth of spare time thanks to a few spells that Remus had found before being beaten out of the library. The map however, was turning out to be rather impractical to carry, so he opted to spend his remaining 30 minutes of banishment looking for solutions.

Armed with a small stack of books, Remus made his way to on open seat in his favourite corner. He didn't really want to sit  _at_  the table when there were plenty of good perches in the library, but that was against his best interests where the librarian was concerned.

A few minutes into the first book and he was joined by the previous occupant at the table. Engrossed in their books neither spoke, or acknowledged the presence of the other. This was in part due to the heap of books separating the two.

Silence continued for a few more minutes before being broken. "Please stop fidgeting Lupin." demanded a girl's voice.

Remus pulled himself out of his book at the noise, and attempted to see who had called him out. "How-"

"I know it's you because you never stop moving!"

Now Remus recognized the voice. "Evans?" Remus stood. He much preferred speaking to people he could see if they were actually there.

"Yes it's Evans who else…" She trailed off once she could see who had disturbed her reading.

Remus noticed her confusion. "What?"

"I… I thought you were your brother."

"That does tend to happen fairly frequently" he said gently, trying to soothe the frightened look in her eyes.

"It's just... " she paused, trying to find the right words, although all words sound wrong when they aren't whispered in the thick silence of the library. "You don't…" she was struggling to string words together, which was rather unusual for her. "He's just… a lot more hyper than you."

"You don't know me very well do you?" he chuckled "I may not be on quite the same level as Romulus but I'm not that far off."

"Oh. I guess you're right, I just never noticed before.'

"It tends to get overlooked because I, unlike Rom, am capable of sitting in one place for longer than five minutes." Sensing her unease, Remus determined that now would be a good time to go and return his friends to their work. "Anyway, I should be getting bacķ, they won't get any work done without someone to keep them on task."

* * *

"Mr. Lupin."

Remus turned to see Professor McGonagall striding up the corridor behind him. "Yes Professor?"

"Do you by any chance know where your friends are?"

"They were working in the common room half an hour ago. May I ask what they did this time?"

"Is there something you wish to tell me Mr. Lupin?"

The correct answer was yes, the four of them had each played a part in charming Professor Slughorn's deserts to evade him at dinner. "Not yet professor."

The witch held her gaze just long enough for Remus to doubt her belief in him but was quickly distracted by the Fat Lady demanding the password. "Could you send Mr. Black out?"

Confused by this request as he was, the werewolf complied and emerged minutes later with the boy in question. Sirius began trembling from head to toe when he saw the seal on the stark white envelope that the professor carried. "Shit." he muttered quietly enough so that only Remus, and apparently McGonagall could hear him.

"Language Mr. Black. That will be all Mr. Lupin." Remus hesitated for a moment, seeking silent assurance from his friend before turning back to the portrait hole.

"Would you care to explain why I am receiving mail from your parents?" Asked the professor, leading Sirius into an empty classroom.

He took a deep breath before daring to speak. When he did so, he disobeyed the majority of social protocols that had been driven into him from a young age. Looking at his shoes, Sirius responded, "Probably because she doesn't want to be associated with me." McGonagall moved to speak but Sirius continued. "It was embarrassing enough that I was sorted into Gryffindor, I was relieved, but you didn't hear the howler I got. Now that Regulus is here and following in his daddy's precious footsteps, it'll get worse." He watched his feet for a few more moments.

His professor took a careful step toward him, and he felt compelled, not by his childhood mannerisms mind you, to look her in the eyes. "If it ever escalates, you can come to me. However, we still have the matter of this letter." Sirius paled once more. "I think you may want to read it before you react."

He took the letter gingerly, and began to read. It took vast amounts of self control to restrain himself from bouncing around the room like a Lupin. "Professor, I was staying anyway. Why would you show me this?"

"I think you already know the answer Mr. Black. But I also believe that teachers should not have to act as messengers. Now off with you, I have a feeling you still need to  _start_  my assignment.

Smiling sheepishly, Sirius thanked her for the news, and headed back to the common room.

* * *

Remus returned to the common room preparing to be bombarded with questions. His preparation however, proved to be unnecessary. The second he re-emerged into the room without Sirius, James and Peter were on him like flies on honey.

Being the faster, taller, and generally more responsive of the pair, it was James who asked the inevitable. "What did McGonagall want with Sirius?" Remus didn't respond at first because he knew that he wasn't supposed to have heard the conversation. McGonagall knew of his heightened senses, but it appeared she had underestimated his ability. "Remus, I can tell you know. Spill."

"She was holding a letter and asked Sirius why she was getting mail from his parents."

James and Peter's faces fell. "Shit" Remus's bewildered expression told reminded the young Potter that Remus was still clueless about his third roommate's background. He watched his friends have a silent one-sided conversation and proceeded to be dragged up the stairs and into their room.

"What the hell?"he demanded, sitting on the bed in the corner, which happened to only have a view out out the easterly window. This was advantageous to Remus because it the shortest view of the moon, and direct access to the rising sun.

James locked the door before sitting down, though he made no move to speak. Peter kept glancing nervously at the door as though afraid someone were hiding behind it.

"Would you like me to put a silencing charm on it?" asked Remus, realizing that neither would talk until they were sure they wouldn't be overheard.

"You can do those?" Peter mumbled. "But that's not until fifth year!"

"Not the point Peter."

"Right, sorry James."

"What," interjected Remus " _is_  the point to all this?"

"Right, you said McGonagall had a letter?"

"Yes?"

"Did the seal look like this?" asked James, holding up a family crest.

Remus scrutinized the image before him. It's design was lacking in taste and the skull and ravens gave it an ominous air. "Yeah, so?'

"Remus, how much do you know about the wizarding world? Politically I mean."

"Not much I guess. We moved around a lot and I know more about the political players in the muggle world from primary school." He eyed James critically. "Why, is his family important or something?"

Peter groaned. "This is a long story."

Remus felt his ears twitch. He heard the door slam at the base of the stairs. "Well tell fast because I think he'll be just about done."

"Ok, crash course." James took a breath. "Think madia"

"The flower?" Remus asked flatly

"No, you know, the rich muggles that live above the law?"

"The mafia?" he didn't really get it.

"That's what the Blacks are like. And they've  _always_  been Slytherins. They take pride in it and want everyone to join the family business."

"So he got a letter from them. So what?"

"Remus, you don't get it. His first year was hell."

"Look, I don't mean to say he doesn't have issues, but don't half the students get bullied at some point in their first year?"

James's eyes narrowed. "You don't  _get_ it because  _you weren't here!"_  Peter sat frozen in fear on his bed. James rarely acted like this and it was never good news.

Remus's face wiped blank. "Yes well  _He_  is, so you may want to unlock the door." When James failed to move, Remus removed his silencing charm from the door in time to hear footsteps at the top of the stairs. James dove across the room to unlock the door only to be trampled when it was flung open by an irritated Sirius Black.

"What the hell James?" Sirius demanded, glaring down at his best friend, who merely shrugged and rolled over.

Sirius looked from Remus to Peter for answers but found both were distracted. Peter was hastily scribbling out his charms assignment and Remus had his head buried in a book as per usual.

"I give up trying to figure you out" Stepping over the body on the floor Sirius made his way to his trunk and then to the showers.

* * *

Remus woke with a start, groaned, and rolled over to throw up in his wastebasket. The vile taste was removed from his mouth with a glass of water and he glared at the moon that sat high and round in the night sky.  _Damn you you stupid satellite_. He had been awakened by a nightmare, which was a common occurrence this close to the full moon. What was uncommon was the dream itself. Pulling his knees to his chest, he sat on his bed, faced the wall, and forced himself to recall the events of his subconscious.

In essence, it was the same old dream. Or rather, memory. Five year old Remus woke from his slumber just in time to bear witness to his assault and turning by a large grey wolf. What had changed, was that Remus no longer watched from his own eyes. In this version, he was prowling through the forest, with a remote house set as his destination. He crept in the open window on the first floor to find a young boy's fearful face illuminated by the bright moonlight.

Remus pounced on the little boy, watching the fear build in his forest green eyes and he bared his teeth and sunk them into the boy's soft flesh. It was at the taste of blood that he had awakened. He'd bitten his cheek and his nausea mixed with the taste of blood in his mouth after the dream he had just had had made him sick.

His stomach empty, a mental battle ensued.  _What if that becomes me someday?_

_No, I won't hurt anyone, I couldn't do that_

_You couldn't_  whispered a voice in his head  _but I could._

_NO way. I won't let you._

_You forget dear Remmy,_ argued the wolf,  _you lose all control._

_That's why we lock you up._

_And what if I break out?_

Remus was roused from his troubling argument by someone kicking and lashing out, mumbling frantically to themselves. He put his own troubles behind him and tiptoed across the cold floor to Sirius's bed. "Sirius" he hissed softly. "Sirius wake up" SIrius was not one who generally did what he was told, nor was he one to wake easily. Remus tapped his thrashing roommate's arm gently, hoping to rouse him from his own nightmare.

"Wake up!" he hissed again as he gave up on gentleness, grasping his friend's shoulders and shaking him sternly.

Sirius woke up, only he did so without realizing that he was no longer in whatever trouble his mind had produced, and proceeded to sock Remus in the jaw.

Remus fell back to the floor with his hands on his face. "The hell Sirius?" he yelled in a whisper.

Sirius sat up abruptly "Remus?" He massaged his throbbing hand, assuming that he had once again punched the wall or bedpost.

"Of course it's me you jarhead!" He winced as pain shot across his jaw.

Rolling over, Sirius was able to see his friend on the floor. The hand that was held to the side of his face was glistening in the moonlight and realization dawned on Sirius that he had  _not_  in fact punched the wall. "Shit, Remus, I'm so sorry." H hopped out of bed and pulled remus to his feet and into the bathroom.

"I didn't wake you up did I?" Asked Sirius, noting his friend's paler than usual appearance once his face was cleaned up. "Because you look like crap."

"No. I couldn't sleep. And i doubt i'll be able to now." Remus winced as he replaced the cool cloth on his jaw. The bleeding had slowed, but head wounds are notorious for blood flow.

"I really am sorry. Are you sure you don't want to get that checked out? I think I might've broken it."

Remus shook his head. "No, I'll be fine."

"Really? Because you don't look fine. You look like Cissy did after i found out she wrote my mother."

"What?" Remus asked, perplexed.

Sirius looked like he had let something slip. "OK, but you can't tell anyone. Not McGonagall, not Peter, James, anyone."

"Okay…?"

"You know James's invisibility cloak?"

Remus nodded, they had used the cloak to escape Filch on several occasions, including when they had taken all the deserts from the slytherin table and upended them on select students-among whom were Avery, Macnair, and Snape.

"Well, he showed it to me the first night we were here as a gesture of good pranking faith, and I may have borrowed it and proceeded to break Narcissa's jaw for telling my mother about the sorting."

Remus absorbed this bit of information far a few moments. "Well, I don't think you've lost your touch."

"Remus, I'm so sorry! I thought you were-" Sirius was prevented from continuing his apology when Remus put up his hand.

"I won't ask if you don't tell. And my lips are sealed" Relief washed over the black-haired boy's features.

"Thanks, I don't know how I would've explained to James that I got blood on the cloak."

"You would've been in the hospital with your cousin. But wouldn't your parents have figured it out that you were in Gryffindor anyway?"

"I wasn't planning on mentioning it if that's what you mean, and Andy wouldn't have said anything, so I'd've be safe until Reg got here." The two leaned back in thought for a few minutes. "You know that that's going to be a beautiful shade of purple in the morning if you don't get it looked at." said Sirius, pointing at the nasty bruise that was beginning to grow on Remus's face. "I think the colour might work for you though."

Remus grabbed the bar of soap from the dish by the sink and lobbed it at his friend. Sirius ducked and the soab bounced harmlessly off the wall to the floor, wet form the water and blood that had dripped from Remus's chin. It skidded across the floor and bumped into his foot.

Call it exhaustion induced hysteria, but for whatever reason, the hippogriff shaped soap sent the two boys into fits of suppressed laughter that took ten minutes to peter out. Sirius was the first to recover from his aching core muscles. "We should probably get some sleep. Get me up early and I know a glamour spell that can cover that up for you."

Remus poked his bruise gingerly and immediately regretted it. "I might take you up on that." He extinguished the light in the bathroom and followed Sirius back into the dorm. Sleep wouldn't come, and he didn't expect it to. Not after what he had seen earlier, but for the sake of his friend he would have to fake it.

 


	16. Allies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus finds himself with a broken jaw and no desire to elaborate. Where does that leave him? Not in the infirmary getting it healed.

 

**20 December 1972**

Remus crawled out of bed on Wednesday morning and padded across to Sirius, making sure to be well out of striking distance before shaking him awake. The bruise had gotten worse overnight. His left jaw had swelled out significantly, and was a deep purple-blue. The colours faded from blue to green to yellow around the edges, though, the edges happened to be almost half of his face.

"Holy shit Remus, How did you stay quiet when I did this?" So far, Sirius had refrained from apologizing, but seemed very concerned with what he had done.

Remus tried to smile, and immediately refrained from doing so. He had probed the injury once he had been sure Sirius was asleep. It was a clean break, but it had shifted some. And thanks to the faster-than-usual growth and healing that came with Lycanthropy, the bones had already begun to knit themselves back together. In short, His face hurt like hell and wasn't moving as it should. "It didn't hurt that much" he mumbled.

"Are you serious?" The young Black searched his friend's face, trying to tell if he was lying or not.

"No, really, it didn't." This was true for two reasons, First, Remus had been more in shock than pain when he had been punched, and second, pain was relative. He would much rather be punched by his friend every month than have most of his bones break and adjust themselves within him at once. "But remind me not to get on your bad side."

The other boys didn't notice that the colour of Remus's face was a little off when they finally woke up and headed for breakfast. Most people simply thought that Remus was ill, and as he was often seen in the hospital wing, this seemed as perfectly reasonable an answer as any.

* * *

It was not until the end of Herbology that anyone attributed it to anything other than ailment. On the way out of the greenhouse for lunch, Professor Styne called him back. "Are you alright Lupin?" he asked kindly.

"Yes Sir." Remus mumbled quietly, moving his mouth as little as possible.

He could tell that the man didn't believe him. It hadn't been a very convincing lie. Styne pulled out his wand and silently removed the false image that had been covering Remus's face. "Jesus Murphy kid!" Remus raised an eyebrow to the unusual expletive, but his professor was understandably distracted and as such, unlikely to provide an explanation. "I'm not dumb enough to ask what happened, but why didn't you go to the hospital wing?"

Remus kept his lips sealed. If he spoke, he had a feeling that his professor would see through any lie he told, and he really didn't want to tell him that he hadn't had it looked at because it was merely going to break again when he turned into a ravenous werewolf when the sun went down and break it again anyway.

His professor sat down across from him. "If you're afraid to say what happened because you're afraid they'll do it again then I can relate, but that's no reason to walk around in pain all day." Remus stood still, staring at the plants that appeared to be playing catch on the desk. "Remus, are you going to say anything at all?"

The use of his first name caught his attention. Most teachers never bothered to learn them. "i'd rather speak to McG-" He let out a burst of air in pain. Gs were not something he could do right now. "My head of house Sir."

His professor took a moment to respond. "Alright then." He passed his wand over Remus's face and headed for the door. "I figured that if you don't want to tell me, you won't want the whole school asking questions. You coming or what?" Remus pulled what he could manage of a smile and followed his professor up to the castle.

"Wait here." said Styne, approaching two gargoyles, who stood guard on either side of the door. After a brief conversation, which Remus tried his best to ignore, he was called to enter the staff room.

The room was obviously a working room and lounge combined, not unlike the common room, it had several couches, tables and chairs strewn about the fireplace. The difference was the decorations on the walls- famous witches and wizards and various forms of the school crest- and a long table that was likely used for meetings. Professor McGonagall was sitting at this table with her lunch and a stack of papers that she was in the process of grading.

She looked up when Professor Styne entered, but did not immediately see that her pupil followed. "Are you looking for me Walter?"

"As a matter of fact I am." Walter Styne took a step to the side to ensure that Remus could not hide behind him. "Your student wishes to speak to you, and only you."

McGonagall furrowed her brow. "Mr. Lupin, is there something you wish to discuss?" Remus glanced at Professor styne nervously. "Anything you have to say to me, you can say to professor Styne."

Remus figured he should speak rather than irritate his head on her lunch break. "Even…"

"Yes Mr. Lupin, the staff is aware of your condition."

Remus was shocked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

The line of questioning was ended abruptly as the Herbology professor removed the glamour that he had placed on the boy's face.

"Bloody hell Lupin! What did you do?" McGonagall's features morphed into deep concern and hard inquisition.

"It was an accident."

"Not good enough." she said sternly. "Sit." Remus sat, and snorted when Professor Styne also moved to follow the command. "I would offer a biscuit, but I think you should be on soup for a week."

Remus caved under her penetrating gaze. "Please don't get Sirius in trouble, he really didn't mean to do it."

"Not to be rude, Lupin, but how does  _anyone_ , except maybe Hagrid, do  _that_  by accident?" asked Styne.

"He was asleep sir, and I woke him up."

"I'll avoid pissing him off then"

"Walter!"

"What? Oh, students right. Apologies, Remus, Minerva."

"Why didn't you go to the hospital wing?" probed McGonagall to get back on topic.

"I didn't want to wake the nurse." At the cocked eyebrows of both teachers Remus threw all delicacy to the wind. "I'm in there enough already, and I didn't want the questions of how I broke my jaw twice in two days." Styne looked confused "When you get a break like this healed, it sets but doesn't actually heal for a few days, so it's still subject to damage. I didn't see the point in getting it set when it's just going to break and dislocate again tonight." The last part was mumbled very quietly, with an almost indistinguishable crack in his voice.

"She would understand Lupin, you could have at least had some relief from the pain."

"My friends don't think like that sir. If I made the trek all the way there, why not just get it fixed? But if I got it fixed, then they would be asking why I broke it again tomorrow. Besides, It didn't really hurt that much in comparison."

Both the professors faces sank into undefinable compassion for their student at this. McGonagall stood and moved to the cabinet in the corner, retrieved a bottle, and returned to sit beside her student. "Drink up. It'll help with the pain." Remus drank, then his professor motioned for him to turn his head to face her. She covered his face in an intricate glamour, so that the colour and shading made him appear as though nothing had happened.

"Thank you. Do  _all_  the staff know?"

"All of your teachers and the nurse and headmaster."

"Is that why Professor Slughorn hates me then?"

McGonagall took a moment to respond. "I'm afraid he was not exactly open to having you here, no." McGonagall said honestly

"If he is treating you differently I can have a word with him." offered professor Styne

"That's okay professor, but thank you. Is there anything else?"

McGonagall stood. "No Mr. Lupin, That'll be all. I suggest you go down to the kitchens and ask for something  _soft_  " at this she bored her eyes into his, daring him to eat anything that might even remotely involve chewing "to eat. I'm sure your miscreant friends have found it by now."

"Yes professor." he turned to the herbology professor. "Thank you, and I'm sorry I didn't trust you." Remus turned when he reached the door. "For the record professor, they never found it. I did." With that, Remus left the staffroom, bound for a painting of fruit in the basement hallway, leaving his head of house to let this revelation sink in.

* * *

Remus joined his classmates in the usual student activity of History of Magic for the first time ever. He slept. Fitfully, and in spurts, but sleep nonetheless.

When the bell rang for defense, Remus nearly jumped out of his chair- and he probably would have if he weren't so exhausted. Peter lagged back with Remus on the way up to their next classroom. "Today was Olgan the Long. I tried to pay attention but all I got from it was that he had four wives, nine children, and a lot of money."

Remus eyed his friends suspiciously. "No offense Peter, but since when do you pay attention to  _history_  of all classes?"

Peter actually smiled a little at the jab and wiped his hair from his eyes. He had opted to ask a senior student to assist him in regenerating his hair, while Remus had merely let it grow back on it's own, though, it seemed to be doing so rather slowly.

Peter's face flushed. History was actually his best class, but only because he had Remus and books on war history that wet nor involved than bickering goblins. "You were too tired to pay attention, and its not like James and Sirius will."

"Thanks buddy." said Remus, reaching up go ruffle his hair.

This action earned him a punch to the shoulder, and while Peter was stronger than people gave him credit for, he still didn't hit that hard. In Remus's sore and weakened state however, it was rather painful. He hid it for Peter's sake.  _Just like you hide everything else._

This internal revelation left Remus feeling worthless and unworthy as he headed to his favorite class.

"Remus, Peter, Over here!" James was waiting in the nook outside the locked door of Professor Smith's classroom, Sirius appeared to be wedged in behind him.

Rolling his eyes, Remus staggered over to his roommates, Peter following close behind. " 's there a reason you're hiding?" he asked quietly.

"Yes, well, no, well sort of…Are you alright Remus? You sound kind of funny"

Sirius stepped in, metaphorically of course because James had him pinned against the wall. "What dear mr. Potter is trying to say is that we want to throw a prank on Saturday, and need planning time."

Remus's eyes widened to a stern glare and he opened his mouth a sliver to mumble a protest, but James piped back up. "Come on Remmy, I wouldn't dare suggest we kill our class time to do it! Not after you started here at least."

Now it was Peter's turn to speak. He looked from Remus's exhausted state, to the pair shoved in the corner, then past the locked classroom and down the hall. "Either way, it won't happen. Dumbledore's coming."

Murmurs began and heads began to turn at this remark. The students' heads swiveled around to find that their headmaster was indeed coming up the corridor. "I am afraid there has been a slight change of plans regarding your defense against the dark arts lessons for the remainder of the week." The headmaster stopped in front of the door, withdrew a brass key from his robes, and opened the door. "Your other professors will fill in, but as for today, schedules are rather full, and I am the only available body." With a flick of the wand, the grate and sconces were lit. The second years began filing into the room, still murmuring about the curious absence of their professor. Remus and Peter started to follow, but stopped when the other two did not. The professor inclined his head, indicating that they should enter the class, and walked past them as they headed for their usual seats at the back of the class.

"What's going on with those two?" Peter whispered, leaning his head over to Remus's.

"Shhh." Remus had his eyes closed, and his head angled towards the doorway, concentrating in listening."

"...Didn't choose a very good hiding place boys…"

He heard a scuffle on the floor, and James's voice. "We weren't trying to get out of class sir"

A pause, shuffling feet. "Ah, yes, and would you care to explain why you were hiding?" Remus could hear the amusement in the headmaster's voice, and the nervousness in his friend's. "You know what, no need, this will make an excellent impromptu topic of discussion for today's class."

"There's no way this can be good for them" Remus muttered to himself. Moments later, James and Sirius were guided into the classroom, and quickly bombarded by fits of giggles and outright bursts of laughter.

"Up to the front boys" Dumbledore chided when they tried to make way to their desks. The pair bowed their heads and shuffled their way up to the front of the room-as it was rather difficult when joined at the hip.

Professor Dumbledore swept his way up to the front of the classroom, his subjects following glumly. "Good afternoon class." His gaze roamed the students, as if daring them to try anything funny while in his presence. "To expand on what I said earlier, Professor Smith will be absent for the foreseeable future, as he has had a personal emergency to attend to, and as such your other professors will be filling in temporarily." His eyes swept the room once again, looking for students demanding answers or offering snide remarks, but once again, turned up empty. "Today, we will be discussing the dangers of spell experimentation, and I had the misfortune of finding an excellent example in the corridor just a few minutes ago." A ripple of suppressed snorts rang off the stone walls "Boys, would you care to explain what you were trying to do?"

James and Sirius remained frozen in front of their classmates. There was no way they were going to say anything. Remus could smell their contempt and it was making him feel rather nauseous.

The Headmaster seemed completely unsurprised with their lack of cooperation. "Shall I hazard a guess?" The old man's eyes had begun to sparkle with an impish glint. He returned his gaze to the task at hand and began his questioning. "You were planning a prank?'

No reaction. "You wanted to merge something with something else?"

Still no visible reaction, their sweat smelled rather foul though. Remus was not doing well in the sense of sensory overload.

Still questioning, Dumbledore changed his tactic. "Were you working from a pre-existing spell to which you have little knowledge?" Remus sensed a change in scent- Dumbledore was onto something. "Ah, yes. I believe I know the one." Dumbledore withdrew his wand and separated the pair in a puff of yellow smoke. James and Sirius took a few steps away from each other and made their way to their seats.

"Thank you for the demonstration mr. Potter and Mr. Black, though I would advise against attempting something like that again.

All four Gryffindor boys paid close attention, well Peter tried, we'll give him credit for that- to the headmaster's lecture, which went on to explain the potential hazards of experimenting with spells. He also managed to frighten most of the group with a few examples of new spells gone wrong. By the end of the lecture, the room was rancid with the scent of twenty frightened and disgusted twelve and thirteen-year-olds.

Just before the bell rang, professor Dumbledore made his final statement. "I am not implying that I expect you to never venture into exploration. Young minds are curious, and bound to disobey. I will however strongly advise against lax research and testing your creations on human beings." He surveyed the room once more, lingering slightly at the back of the class just long enough to make two Gryffindor boys squirm in their seats.

* * *

Professor Smith's absence became a popular topic at dinner. Jokes were made regarding his apparent paranoia regarding banshees.  _That would explain his reaction in that lesson awhile ago…_  Remus sat in the great hall, listening to the conversations that rang out around him. He looked longingly from his soup to the pork chops sitting in front of him, and was debating reaching for one when he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

Looking up towards the head table, Remus found not just Professor McGonagall, but Professor Styne glaring at him. His shoulders drooped knowing that he would not be able to fulfill his craving. He offered the professors what he could of a smile and a small wave and reached for the soup ladle to refill his bowl.

As the four Gryffindor boys headed up to the tower, Sirius had a realization. "Remus, If you're ditching the library tonight, does that mean you'll help us with the plans?"

Remus kept his eyes forward. "Sorry, but I missed my last appointment because of the gassing of the classroom. I had to reschedule for tomorrow." He hated the fact he couldn't be honest with his friends, but he also knew that he would never have friends again if they found out. This was why he kept his eyes on the stones worn smooth by hundreds of years of dragging feet.

Peter dropped his head slightly in disappointment. "Oh. I was going to ask for help on the transfiguration assignment." The assignment, which was due the next day, was on the same that James had been working on previously, and while James would not deny Peter assistance, he was very easily sidetracked, and nothing would get done.

Remus returned to feeling like shit. "I'm really sorry Peter, Evans might help you though."

James and Sirius locked eyes for a brief moment. That would not end, or even begin well. Peter struggled to speak when addressed by anyone other than his roommates, and those of the opposite sex were even more problematic.

Noticing the looks of 'yeah right' on the faces of his friends, Remus became even more distraught. 'I'll ask her' he mouthed at James and Sirius, who nodded and opened the portrait to the common room.

Despite his sense of unease with Evans, thanks to their awkward interaction the previous evening, Remus approached the table she was sitting at once he had dropped his gear upstairs. She was sitting with a few other second years. Mary MacDonald and Emily Watkins looked up when he approached, While Lily kept her head buried in her books.

"Hey Remus, what's up?" Emily asked sweetly.

"I was going to ask Evans a favour." He said uncomfortably. Lily Evans emerged from her books, her eyes darting between the three now at the table.

"What do you want Lupin?" she asked with an almost untraceable chill in her voice.

Mary had caught it and was about to scold her friend but Remus didn't have time. "I had to reschedule my last appointment at the hospital, and Peter really needs help with transfiguration."

"So get Potter or Black to do it."

"I would, but do  _you_ really expect them to do anything?" She dropped her eyes in submission and shame at her attitude, "Didn't think so. You don't have to like me, but Peter has next to no one he can ask for help but me, and I really have to get going, So please Evans? I'll owe you."

She held his pleading gaze for a moment before caving. "Fine, but I will collect."

"Thanks." With that, Remus dashed off to tell Peter he had assistance, and then he barreled down the halls to the infirmary, where he ran into professor Styne. "Professor, I'm so sorry, I-"

"Calm down Lupin, I was just coming to get you." He said, standing, and dusting off his robes.

"I'm sorry, I had to find someone to help Peter and- Wait, why were you coming to find me?" Asked Remus as he picked himself slowly up off the floor\/

"Can we walk and talk?" Remus nodded and led the way down the stairs. "The nurse has her hands rather full this evening and McGonagall is busy reprimanding those responsible."

Remus's heart sank. "You mean that someone attacked a group of students?"

"I'm afraid so, but I'm really not supposed to be telling you this. I don't know why I did."

Remus offered a small smile as he opened the door to the grounds. "You don't have to worry about me telling anyone." The professor sighed in relief "The whole school will know by the time I'm conscious again." The relief vanished from Styne's face and the pair walked in silence until they reached the Whomping Willow.

" _This_  is why we got this thing? I thought it was just Dumbledore indulging in his eccentric tastes." Styne paled even further at his comment, and as Remus approached the frozen tree.

The student laughed as he climbed down into the tunnel. "I won't tell him you said that either."

The herbology professor stayed by the willow until the moon had risen completely. He took a few moments to gaze up at it, letting the memories flood in. He startled when he heard the wolves from the forest began to join in the song. Then he turned, and returned to the mayhem and warmth of the castle.

 


	17. Demons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Language and prejudice

******21 December 1972**

He was disturbed from his peaceful and absent bliss of sleep when the nurse shoved her way through the door and placed a student- _really, a student?_ \- on the only other bunk in the small room. They were in the Davis ward of the hospital wing; it was a small room at the back of the infirmary that was usually reserved for the privacy of ill staff and the odd quarantine situation. It was  _not_  a private hospital room for students.

Not being able to move made expressing emotions rather difficult, but Nurse Biddle had seen her fair share of minds frozen inside bodies as a result of student bullying and experiments.

She finished settling the unconscious student in, and took the two steps over to the professor's bunk. "I don't particularly care what you think Simon, this is where he is staying." eyes flickered in frustration and fear. "He won't likely be awake any time soon. You should be able to go back to your own quarters before then." This did not ease the professor at all, but there was nothing he could do about his current situation.

* * *

Remus woke that evening to find himself somewhere entirely unfamiliar. It wasn't any of the rooms in the cottage by Hogsmeade in which he transformed, nor was it the hospital wing. His panic began to rise as his pain set in. He scanned the small room for an indication of time, a window, a clock, even a sand timer would do-though how that would help, he had no idea. Instead of the time, he found another patient. And just as he was about to go into full-blown hysteria about being admitted to St. Mungo's and having his condition revealed to the government, he recognized the man on the bed next to him.

"Professor Smith?" It was at this point that Remus discovered that his jaw had been wired shut, and that what had come out of his mouth sounded more like: "Pruhesur Shmish?"

The man rolled over, and groaned is displeasure. "Biddle said you'd sleep for hours."

Remus raised an eyebrow. "Ah tieshit?"

The disgruntled professor rolled over slowly. He had yet to regain full control of his limbs, so maneuvering was rather difficult. His facial muscles however, were fully functioning. "Watch your mouth Lupin."

Remus jerked back at the aggressive response from his professor and tapped his bandaged wrist, symbolizing time.

Smith was both ashamed and annoyed by the gesture, he had overreacted, this much was true, but he was still of the opinion that the monster boy shouldn't be in the same room. "Just go back to bed" he grumbled, rolling to face the wall.

At that moment, the door swung open. 'Ah, Lupin, you're awake. Let's get those bandages changed." she stopped halfway to Remus and turned to the scowling teacher in the first bed. "You are more than welcome to return to your quarters if you can make it there Simon" She would be glad to be rid of his snide comments and bruske mannerisms.

Professor Smith practically hopped out of bed-although it resembled more of a flop- and hobbled out of the room without a word or a backwards glance. "Wash hish probrem?" Remus asked as nurse Biddle began to unravel the bandages that wound around Remus's arms, legs, and torso.

"He's a little testy and embarrassed about what happened on Wednesday." Ignoring the inquisitive looks she was shot, she continued the process of unwinding the soiled gauze from her patient. "You did a wonder on yourself this time. When Minerva brought you in I could've sworn there were more cuts than skin. And your Jaw." she had finished with the gauze and was about to proceed with re-examining the wounds, but she paused her practice to scold her patient. "How on earth did you manage that? And you didn't say anything about it?"

 _This will take awhile_. Remus thought to himself, leaning back against the wall so the nurse could examine his legs.

"You do realize I could have mended it for you? But no! Why go for help when you can prove how tough you are. And then, I get swamped with junior students who have all been hexed within an inch of unconsciousness to deal with."

Remus sat up abruptly, fiery rage in his eyes. "What?" he exclaimed through clenched teeth.

"Later." was the short reply. "You need  _less_  excitement to heal. And on that note," Remus sat back once more  _here we go again…_  "Since you failed to come to me when you, or whoever it is you seem to have disagreed with, and your rapid healing tendencies, your bones began to heal themselves."

Remus thought about protesting, but opted to refrain from the ache that came with attempting to speak, and simply let the woman continue her tirade as she spread a paste over his shredded skin. "Well Mr. Lupin, your bones may heal fast, but they can't set themselves can they? Oh no, I had to go and break your jaw  _again_  once I had time to get around to the non-life threatening injuries. I even had to result to the muggle technique of clamping your mouth shut!"

A fit of coughing and hacking sputtered to life in the main ward of the hospital wing and the nurse quickly excused herself and hurried off to tend to the matter.

Remus took this time to survey the damage that he had inflicted upon himself. Amongst several broken ribs, his arms were scratched and bleeding; he had apparently scratched through to his femoral artery - though fortunately he hadn't ruptured it. A long gash ran from his left shoulder to his abdomen, narrowly missing the other scar. That scar was the bane of his existence. He felt disgusted with himself and angry whenever he saw it. It represented the moment he lost his brother, his childhood, and his innocence. The muscle around it and his clavicle ached whenever the moon neared its full phase, and whenever a big storm came in.

* * *

"Lupin?" Snapped out of his daze, the boy looked up to find nurse Biddle observing him with concern. "Are you alright?"

"What kind of a question is that?" he asked bitterly around his immobilised teeth, slumping back against the wall.

The nurse took this as a suggestion of what was to come and closed the door firmly, applying a silencing charm that would still allow her to hear the rest of the infirmary.

"I saw the way Professor Smith looked at me." Biddle sat, preparing herself for a return spiel. "A vicious monster masquerading as a person amongst a couple hundred innocent and defenseless children." The anger he felt was felt with the clear enunciation of his words. "Capable of ending and ruining lives, and here we are wasting valuable resources on something that will amount to nothing." He relaxed his muscles and slid down from the wall in defeat. "Why am I even here?"

The nurse sighed and rose to her feet. "You are here because you are a student." She pulled him up to a sitting position. "You are a twelve-year old boy with magical blood and potential." She began to wind fresh bandages around his wounds. "You have just as much right as any muggle-born to be here and you should act as such." She finished dressing his injuries in silence, pausing every now and then to check on her other patients. On

When Remus was freshly wrapped in bandages, and back in bed, she brought in a glass of water, and a large mug of soup, both equipped with straws from which to drink. "You'll be staying the night, if only to make sure that your wounds begin to heal. I'm afraid there isn't much I can do to speed the process. It'll have to work naturally, but you already know that." She placed a gentle hand on his shoulder, and he tried to glare at her, but his eyes betrayed his face. "Do you want to talk to someone?" She asked, and before he could shut her down she added "because despite what you may think right now, there  _are_ people you can talk to. Myself, McGonagall, your brother…"

Remus shook his head and picked up his soup, effectively signalling that the conversation was over and that he wanted to be alone with his thoughts.

 


	18. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new face, a missing one, and a new break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something I had not realized until now, Yes, Remus and Romulus are identical except for the eyes, but Remus has a British accent while Rom has a bit of an eastern Canadian one.

**Disclaimer: would I really post it on a free fansite if I planned to make money?**

**22 December 1972**

Remus woke early the next morning and proceeded to change his own bandages, evaluated that his wounds were in fact healing, and then dressed himself. Opening the door quietly, he poked his head out to ascertain that the coast was clear, then he worked his way stiffly through the wing. Eight of the ten beds in the main hospital wing were occupied, and many had the curtains drawn. From what Remus could see in the dim light, those who were visible ranged from eleven to thirteen, and there were few that he recognized.

Slipping through the double doors and into the hallway, Remus let out a breath that he hadn't realized he had been holding. He was free to roam the castle as he pleased and to return to class. It was not until he was about to round the corner that footsteps were heard. The door through which he had just exited creaked softly open, and figure emerged. The person smelled familiar, but in his sore and exhausted state, there was no motivation to sift through his memory to identify them. It wasn't nurse Biddle, and that was about all Remus cared about.

"Lupin? Are you sure you're OK?"

Remus swore under his breath as Evans approached.  _Wait a minute, how did she know I was in the hospital wing?_

The girl approached his position and repeated her question before taking in his height and robes. "Oh, s-sorry. I-I-I." She took a deep breath and a few steps back. "Why were you visiting so early?" she squeaked.

"I wasn't visiting." Then it dawned on Remus as to why Evans had thought he was Romulus. "Wait, what happened to my brother?" Canine familial protective instincts came crashing into his thought process and overran logic completely. He forgot that he was trying to sneak out of the hospital wing, and bolted back to the door, a rather frightened Lily Evans in tow.

"Where is he? Which bed?" he hissed with growing impatience. Evans pointed to the bed nearest the back that had been the source of the hacking coughs the previous evening, Releasing his hold on her arm, Remus forgot the imposed silence of the early hour and thundered down to the indicated bunk. He ducked behind the curtains to find an empty bed with dark spots flecking the crisp sheets.

Now completely ignoring the fact that he had just tried  _not_ to see nurse Biddle, Remus proceeded to attempt to pound down the door to her office and quarters. There was no response. Remus stormed his way down the hallway to the first portrait he saw. Two men slept on a round table, their cards scattered under their drooling faces. Remus tapped impatiently on the frame and the younger of the portrayed men snapped awake while his comrade gurgled happily in his slumber.

"Boy, what in Merlin's name are you doing up so early?" he grumbled.

Evans jogged up behind him. "Relax, he probably got released last night".

"And what about the blood?" Remus demanded, forgetting about the portrait he had awoken.

"It's been a hectic few days, probably hasn't had a chance to get it cleaned yet." She reached out her arm and placed it tentatively on his left shoulder. Remus flinched and jumped back. "Sorry to disturb you sir, he's just a bit paranoid." She added, nodding to the picture on the wall. "Why don't you go back to your dorm and get some sleep before breakfast. You don't look all that great."

Hanging his head in resignation, Remus complied and allowed his peer to guide him to the nearest staircase, where she left him to return on his own.

* * *

Remus didn't sleep. He didn't even go upstairs. His dreams from the last few nights and the reaction he had received from professor Smith haunted him. He didn't want to be around other people knowing he could be a danger to them, but he was torn about his education. He loved it at Hogwarts and he loved having people he could talk relatively freely to. The kids in his previous schools had been more focused on trying to reject the new kid every year than they had been anything else and it was nice to have friends for once.

He must have sat there for quite some time, because before he knew it the sun was creeping up and he could hear his friends' footsteps thundering down the stairs. "Remus!" Sirius exclaimed, as he rounded the curve in the stairs enough to see two worn shoes dangling over the doorway. "You came back for one day?"

Remus wasn't about to respond, and James beat him to it nonetheless. "Of course he is Sirius, Remmy here would spend his summers in school if he could."

"Whatever happened to: Don't call me Remmy?" Remus asked- he hated that nickname-, climbing down from his perch to follow his friends into the corridor.

"We voted it in." called Sirius over his shoulder as if that should be a satisfactory answer.

They arrived in the great hall just before the rest of the school began flooding in, and were happily debating what prank they should pull before the break. Remus, however, was watching the door like a hawk, waiting a sandy-haired Ravenclaw with blue eyes to stumble through the door.

Sirius blew in his ear to capture his attention. "What do you want?" Demanded Remus in an aggressive tone that was unheard of from the ordinarily mild-mannered boy, cutting through the subdued tone in the hall

"Geez, Remus, chill out." Sirius said soothingly. "I was going to ask for your input on the prank, but i'll ask if you're OK instead"

"No, I'm not OK. I found out this morning when I… when I got back that my brother had been hospitalized and now I don't know where he is." At the somber faces of the students who had tuned in to the outburst, Remus had another. "Will somebody  _please_  tell me what the BLOODY HELL is going on!"

There was a shocked moment of silence as the entire student body turned to stare at the Gryffindor table. "Perhaps you should come with me Mr. Lupin."

Remus jumped. Despite his paranoid jitters, his slight tantrum had prevented him from hearing footsteps approach. "I'm Sorry professor McGonagall, I will watch my language and keep the outbursts to a minimum."

James and Sirius scoffed from across the table. "You know, for someone with their jaw clamped shut, you enunciate your words very well." Remus was not in the mood for this. He wasn't really in the mood for anything unless it involved where the hell on the bloody planet his brother was. James, Sirius, and Peter would not learn this lesson for some time, but Remus's wolf was  _very_  protective and it was  _not_  a good idea to mess with those he cared about. His eyes flashed a murderous shade of gold as he stood and made to reach across the table.

The sudden presence of a hand gripping his good shoulder snapped him back to reality, and he immediately backed off. "Perhaps you should add you temper to that list Mr. Lupin. Come along." Without giving him a chance to speak, Professor McGonagall was steering her pupil towards the doors of the great hall.

He did however manage to shoot Sirius a pleading look of forgiveness, but the boy was sitting stock still in shock and fear, and likely didn't catch it.

* * *

Seated in McGonagall's office, Remus passed his time waiting for the return of his professor by analyzing her bookshelves and the contents of her office. Minerva McGonagall it seemed, was a rather renowned researcher of transfiguration in the field of animagacy. Her shelves were laden with texts regarding the subject, along with a few awards scattered around the room from various institutions. Had he not been so worked up, Remus would have laughed out loud when his eyes raked over the far back corner of the office. Standing on a small table, practically tucked away in a nook in the corner, was a quaffle, several team pictures throughout the years, and to top off the shrine, was a well-used broomstick propped up by the table.

Remus was drawing insights from his professor's small shrine when she returned. It was not however, the sight of his professor that made Remus's already queasy stomach drop; it was the look he was being given by the witch who followed her into the room. The young woman- who appeared to be a nurse- portrayed an expression that lay somewhere between 'how  _dare_  you discharge yourself' and 'I'm so sorry to be the bearer of bad news.'

Swallowing his nerves, along with some blood that had accumulated in his mouth, Remus stood and addressed the nurse, who was about to give him a piece of her mind. "Spare the lecture and tell me where my brother is." At the hard glare from McGonagall, Remus made a blunt and ineffective attempt to rectify his disrespect. "Please."

"Sit" Remus obeyed the nurse without question and plunked himself back into his chair. In retrospect, he probably should have sat more gently because sitting forcefully in a hard wooden chair when already extremely sore does not aid the healing process.

"Where's Rom?" The nurse moved another chair opposite him and sat herself, while McGonagall disappeared briefly to her quarters.

"You first buster." A very irritated and jumpy Remus subjected himself to the examination, trying his best not to bounce and twitch too much in anticipation. When the woman made to check the bandages, Remus jerked back. "Do you have something to hide?"

Remus looked at the floor. He did have something to hide; he tried his best to hide his patchwork of scars from himself as well as the rest of the world. "I checked them before I left. I promise." he said strongly, offering eye contact to confirm his statement.

"Teenagers" she muttered, rolling her eyes and shrugging her shoulders. "I'll take your word for it  _once_  and  _only_  once. Understood?"

Remus nodded slowly, confused slightly by the presence of the new nurse, and the implication that he would be seeing more of her. Moving her attention to his face, the new nurse had her patient open his lips and cheeks to the best of his ability, and began poking around in his mouth with a small probe. He could feel the cool metal prodding his gums, and he lurched back the instant she tapped on his teeth.

"OUCH!" A firm, but gentle tap sent vibrations straight to his nerves and eardrums- leaving Remus with a throbbing jaw and ringing ears.

The nurse was not sympathetic. "If you had gotten it set when you broke it or had stopped talking like you, oh, I don't know, had your jaw  _wired shut_  you would feel significantly less pain."

Remus crossed his arms in contempt and stared at the picture of a preacher in the Scottish Highlands that sat by his professor's desk.

"Don't give me that young man." The woman, not more than twenty, had crossed her own arms. I could just leave the wires loose and let it heal in the wrong position again."

Directing his attention from the picture on the desk to the woman in front of him, Remus locked eyes, daring her to break the connection and leave the injury to heal improperly. "Alright, fine!." she exclaimed, snapping her eyes away from Remus's "I won't leave it like that. "

Remus smirked.  _Victory_. "But I  _will_  sedate you to fix it if you don't cooperate."

 _Damn_ he thought, dropping his hands into his lap.  _She's good._

"Now," the nurse began pacing, nervous about what she had to tell the boy, "Because of your accelerated rate of healing"

Remus paled. Yet another person knew his secret, which meant another liability to its protection.

"And because you went and blabbed your way through the tension on the wire"

He suppressed a chuckled and frowned at the nervous pause. "Unh unh. You are not breakin' this again." he pleaded pointing to his colourful face. When she made no move to counter his conclusion, Remus started another hard stare.

It was at this point that Professor McGonagall returned to her office. Noting the staredown at her desk, she approached the pair with a cautioning stare of her own. The nurse was expressing no sympathy to her duty, and Remus looked as though he wanted to throw her against the wall. "Poppy! Lupin!" Remus stopped flexing his hands, but refused to break the stare. With it being so close to the full moon, his aggression was higher than usual, so it was highly unlikely that he would back down from a perceived contest. The nurse on the other hand, was attempting to establish that where medical matters were involved, she was  _not_  going to take orders from a hormonal pre-pubescent boy "Just what do you think you're doing?

Still not breaking the eye contact, Remus made the first statement, and he did so rather coolly. "She wants to break my jaw." He flexed his fists, nails biting the skin as the boy attempted to restrain the wolf that lingered near the surface of his consciousness.

The nurse narrowed her eyes at the gold that had taken over the green. "I wouldn't have to break your jaw if you hadn't left it in the first place.  _OR_  if you had refrained from sneaking out of the hospital wing."

"I didn't need to stay"

"Is that based on your expert opinion?"

"My opinion may not be  _expert_ , but I would think that 104 first hand experiences of the matter would count for something!" Remus snarled, taking a step forward, the easy green in his eyes now washed out by gold.

"That is ENOUGH! Now sit down. Both of you."

The nurse broke the eye contact and half fell into her chair. Remus on the other hand crossed his arms once more, used his still-standing position to look down on the new nurse.

"Lupin," warned the professor. Remus-despite his impressive hearing didn't listen; instead he took another step toward the woman in the chair, whose resolve was just now cracking to reveal her fear. "I warned you." McGonagall snapped her wand from her pocket and Remus finally turned his focus from the nurse to the professor, and instead of backing down, he began to advance on her. " _Petrificus totalus"_

Her student's arms and legs snapped into his body and he fell crashing face first into the floor.

The nurse leapt up from her chair and rolled her student over. "I seem to recall there being a rule about using magic on students."

McGonagall nodded curtly, a small frown on her face and a furrow in her brow. "There is. Would you rather he had thrown you at the wall or out the window?"

The younger woman looked back at the twelve-year-old boy who was- well, at least if one ignored his friends- the picture of innocence. She sighed, noting that his eyes had returned to green and were filled with worry, guilt, and fear. "I suppose I saw only the boy."

"Look on the bright side" McGonagall said, in an attempt to lighten the situation and put it back on track. "He won't be angry at you for breaking his jaw; I seem to have done that myself."

"I suppose not" said the nurse. Chuckling softly, she returned her attention to the boy on the floor, invisibly bound, and with a broken jaw. "Mr. Lupin, I don't believe it wise to sedate you in your current state of mind, so unless you would like to return to the hospital wing-" his eyes flashed quickly from green to gold and back, "you have two options. "One, you can sit  _still_  and quiet while I rewire your jaw, or we can stun you so you don't flinch and hurt yourself  _again_."

McGonagall looked down her nose to her student below. "I would advise the second option, you and your brother have a tendency to squirm." Remus's eyes flashed again at the mention of his sibling, "but the choice is still yours. Blink once for awake and twice for stunned."

At first Remus didn't blink, he much preferred knowing what was happening to him, but on the other hand, he knew he would fidget and that the process would be faster without the movements. Plus, he intended to keep the nurse  _what was her name? Pobbi? What kind of a name is that? Sidetrack, back on track Remus, Focus._

Remus blinked twice and McGonagall nodded. "Smart choice." There was a flash of red light and then black.

* * *

Professor McGonagall picked up her student and moved him to a large chair where the process or re-wiring his jaw would be more easily accomplished. "You made a bold move to challenge him today you know," she said as the other woman began her work.

"I don't generally take orders from patients." She performed a spell to hold his mouth open and cheeks out of the way and began to remove the wire that had become loose.

"If I am to recall correctly, you didn't exactly take orders from teachers either." McGonagall's tone was light, but with just enough scolding to make any person feel unease. The professor, however, was not the source of unease. As she worked, the young nurse felt a growing unease at how the student she was treating would react to their confrontation. Her former professor must have picked up on it on some extra-sensory level because as soon as a tear was about to roll down her cheek, a gentle hand appeared on her shoulder.

"He won't hold it against you. I may not have taught him for very long but he is a fairly sweet and forgiving child."

* * *

The next thing Remus knew, he was sitting in a large, still, old wooden chair with cotton balls in his mouth.

"Don't even  _think_ about it kid." He looked up to see the nurse scowling down at him and his professor sitting behind her desk.

Swallowing his words, Remus resorted to something he never thought he would use. He formed two fists and rubbed his knuckles up and down, then he put his hands palm up and moved them in circles, glaring at his professor while he did so.

"I'm afraid I don't understand sign Mr. Lupin, but I would assume you wish to hear of your brother?"

Remus nodded vigorously.

"I need to be getting back to the hospital wing professor." She approached Remus and looked him in the eyes, but he shied away. She  _almost_ laughed. "I'm sorry about earlier. Poppy Pomfrey, but i'm not your friend so it'll be Madam Pomfrey. Got it?" Remus nodded and made a quick sign with his hand, to which Madam Pomfrey scowled and left.

Professor McGonagall looked sternly down her nose once the door had closed. "Do I want to know what that meant?"

Remus shoot his head and refused to make eye contact.

"I thought not." She folded her hands on the desk. "Now I would assume you would like to get to business?" He nodded, staring hard at the floor and shifting his feet in worry. "I guess I should start at the beginning. It's a good thing that you got up early today, otherwise we might be late for class." With a wave of a wand, a smoothie appeared on her desk. "You may thank the house-elves for that. Drink up." Remus drank, though he really wasn't that hungry.

"I assume Walter told you about what happened Wednesday evening?"

Remus waggled a flat hand.

"Of course he said something, he rather likes you"

Remus widened his eyes and hardened his gaze as if to say get on with it

"Several students were hexed to the point of hospitalization, as was Professor Smith, and one, your brother" Remus tensed "was cursed" His fists tightened. "Before we have a repeat of earlier, I will say that he will be fine, so you can stop glaring your way through the floor."

Professor McGonagall allowed her student to relax before continuing. "Do you remember our first conversation here Lupin?"

Remus sighed soundlessly and looked up, still refusing eye contact, but at least now he was looking at the person who was speaking to him as opposed to the floor, which, no matter how many times it had been tried the previous year,  _likely Potter and Black_  she mused, the stones would not hold a conversation.

"Professor Dumbledore believes that Romulus was simply caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. He was nonetheless, struck with an experimental curse." Remus had stopped all fidgeting; his hands lay still in his lap, his endlessly bouncing leg had gone quiet, and his eyes were not flicking around the room as he listened, His full, and completely undivided attention was focused on what he was being told.

"At first, the only apparent reaction to the curse was a few cuts and scratches, but he was admitted to the hospital wing as a precaution for observation due to the unknown nature of the curse and the concussion he sustained when he was thrown back against the wall." She paused to take a sip of her tea, and then continued with the explanation. "In the morning, he was to be discharged to Ravenclaw, but complained of laboured breathing, and, at the time, it was suspected that he wanted to wait for a chance to slip in and see you, but again, precaution."

Remus smiled a little that his brother had wanted to see him, then remembered the blood on the sheets and all happiness flooded out of his body. If it was possible, he slumped farther down into the chair.

"Yesterday evening he began coughing up blood, and Nurse Biddle was unable to determine the source. When it got worse, we transferred him to St. Mungo's where he is exhausted, weary from blood loss, and successfully driving his physicians up the walls."

Now Remus could smile.  _He must be okay if he has the energy to drive healers, who are trained in anti-antagonization if I'm not mistaken, completely bonkers._

"Now, shall we head to class? I'm sure your friends will lend you some note-taking supplies, should that be something they actually possess."

Remus snorted and stood, following his professor out the door. With as much of a smile on his face as he could manage with his jaw locked and his mouth stuffed with cotton.

Approaching the classroom, Professor McGonagall turned briefly, "I suggest you find a way of communicating for outside of class, as Madam Pomfrey, to ensure you didn't mess up her work of course," she said with a smile "silenced you to remove the charm will be removed when the wires come off, or when it is deemed you will be trusted to remain silent." She opened the door to the empty classroom as students began to work their way around the corner from breakfast. "Oh, and Mr. Lupin?" He stopped making his way towards the door. He didn't like the grin trying to find its way onto her face. "It isn't in a book, so don't waste your time trying to find it in the library."

Remus slumped his shoulders and stomped quietly into the classroom, which put a smile on his professor's face.

He tried to pay attention in class. He really did. Peter, James, and Sirius were easily enough ignored, but it was mostly because he simply couldn't focus on anything except the empty seat next to him. His friends watched nervously from their places behind him as Remus glanced repeatedly at the desk beside him.

McGonagall was nervous too, but she understood his actions, and figured that calling the boy out on his actions would only cause more problems.

* * *

By the time lunch rolled around, Remus was going out of his mind. James and Sirius battered him with questions the whole way down to the Great Hall, and they were not among those who would see that maybe if a person is not speaking that, maybe, just maybe, they don't want to share.

It was getting to the point where Remus was considering returning the favour of silence to Sirius when an old wind-blown barn owl soared it's way into the room and dropped a note in front of Remus's soup.

_Remus,_

_I won't lie to you and say that I'm fine so get over it, but I will be. The healers think they've figured out what happened, but they want to be sure that everything id OK so I'm stuck here for a week. A WEEK. I couldn't stand one day in this place and they want to keep me here for seven? I'm going nuts._

As Remus read the letter, his mood brightened significantly.

_Mom is coming tonight with my stepdad. They would have been here sooner, but Ben has a transatlantic flight to make anyway. The hospital should be clear tomorrow afternoon though if you want to come._

_Give the place a send off to be remembered, I already know that your friends want to but let's face it, they are SO going to get caught without some Lupin Finesse._

_And seriously, I am going to be fine, so stop freaking out._

_Hope you're OK,_

_Rom_

Remus smiled and set the letter down much calmer that he was before picking it up, and returned to his soup.

Still trying to break through, Sirius jumped at the change in his expression. "There are  _tacos_  Remus, but you're slurping soup. I don't get it."

Remus set down his straw in exasperation.

"What? James help me out here. Remus is acting funny."

James set down his taco reluctantly and tried to seek truth by reading Remus's face, but Remus looked away quickly. "Are you mad at us or something?"

Remus shook his head.

"You haven't said anything since breakfast" Peter supplied "Are you okay?"

Remus nodded.

"Then what gives!?" Sirius was a bit louder than he had intended, but he was determined to find out what was up. His comment had, however, attracted the attention of many surrounding Gryffindors which only increased the pressure and discomfort felt by the boy who, unbeknownst to them, became an uncontrollable killing force on a regular basis.

"Remus, why  _aren't_  you saying anything?" One of those Gryffindors was a concerned Frank Longbottom.

Remus made a series of movements with his hands, and then pointed across the table at Sirius, who had absolutely no understanding of what had happened other than it apparently involved him.

Evans, who had been tuning in from further down the table stood and approached their section. "Black what did you do?"

Sirius was baffled at the accusation. "I didn't do anything this time. Why would I silence my friend?"

Evans moved her hands to her hips. "Remus said that you could explain, so do."

"You got  _that_  from  _this_?" James asked waving his hands pointlessly in the air.

"It's called Sign language Potter." This caused James to become more confused, but he kept quiet.

Remus zigzagged a pointed finger across his palm, then brought open palms to his chest and brought them down towards each other, staring at Sirius's plate the whole while.

Evans turned back to Sirius, arms crossed. "What happened Tuesday night?"

James and Peter were also looking questioningly at Sirius, whose face lost much of it's colour. His head flickered from his left to right to Remus. "You mean you  _actually_ didn't go to the hospital? I thought you got it looked at after herbology!"

"Sirius, What did you do?" James asked, trying not to sound accusatory, because he knew that Sirius would not willingly hurt anyone but an enemy.

The boy in question joined Remus in staring at his plate. "Black, " Longbottom warned, rising to fetch a professor, but Remus waved him down. The teachers already knew.

Swallowing, Sirius took to his defense. "I, um, I...Sort of accidentally broke his jaw…"

Frank stood again but stopped when Evans translated McGonagall already knows.

"Are you not talking because they wired your jaw shut?" asked Mary MacDonald from where Evans had been sitting.

"Why would anyone wire their jaw shut?" James asked incredulously. "It's just a spell to set the bone. Mum's done it loads of times. How would that even work anyway?" he rambled on for some time, disgusted that someone would thread metal through their bones, and completely oblivious to the fact that Remus had nodded in confirmation.

* * *

Potions, put mildly, was hell. Remus usually found it unpleasant because

a) Slughorn hated him

b) He didn't understand potions

c) The class was always full of sickening fumes.

The smells potions brewing was comparable, in Remus's opinion, to cooking cleaning supplies, rotting food, and the socks that James and Peter threw under their beds. It was made worse in the days leading up to, and following the full moon because his senses, which were already amplified, were even more acute when the wolf was nearer the surface.

For the sake of communication, he was paired with Lily Evans. This also meant that her usual partner was paired with Sirius, and while this meant that Remus wouldn't completely fail the Deflating Draught despite his dizziness, it meant that Sirius Black and Severus Snape had to get along for three whole hours.

News flash: they didn't. For once in his short school career, the explosion in the potions classroom was not the result of Remus or Peter. The two rivals' refusal to communicate had resulted in each attempting to brew the potion by himself in one cauldron, and , well, let's just say that this particular potion-while not particularly technical- is rather particular about the order in which ingredients are added.

The result was a disintegrated cauldron, a crater in the table, two sooty and burned, and a briefly unconscious twelve year old werewolf. Oh, and an aborted potions lesson while the culprits of the destruction were reamed out for their idiocy and incompetence.

Remus protested checking into the hospital wing profusely. There was no way he was going to go back there for Madam Pomfrey to gloat. His intentions for the rest of the newly-freed afternoon were to head down to the library to read and relax in the peace and quiet surrounded by the calming scent of old books, ink, and parchment.

His friends however had other ideas. They waited for Sirius to emerge from Slughorn's office and on their way up the stairs, James flicked his wand and shut the door on Snape's nose.

Remus was alarmed, but he couldn't say anything or he'd end up back in the hospital wing and at the mercy of the new matron, so he kept his mouth shut.

Together, they wandered the second floor, working on their map, and discussing their plans for the holidays.

Peter took his leave about an hour before dinner and returned to the Gryffindor table with a book. The black-haired boys saw the book and shared a glance before bursting into laughter. Peter had a book!

Remus on the other hand raised and eyebrow at the title.  _Silent Communications_. Pete beamed when Remus offered a small smile, and propped open the book. "Madam Pince is letting me borrow it over the holidays." he said trying to find a page. "I thought that we should all have our own way of communicating, but so no one else knows what we're saying."

Now James and Sirius were paying attention. "Peter that's brilliant" Sirius tried to lean across the table but only succeeded in spilling a pitcher of pumpkin juice.

Remus scooped up the book to protect it and Peter reached across the table to slap Sirius on the cheek. "Why don't we finish dinner and look at it in the common room?" James suggested.

* * *

Two hours later they had come up with enough of a system that Remus could get a blunt point across and be quasi understood. They then proceeded to hammer out the details for the prank they had come up with in Remus's absence. Hearing their plan, Remus came to the conclusion that his brother was correct and that they definitely needed his help to not get caught.

The original plan was to head out late at night to set the ball rolling, but Remus argued that there would be teachers and prefects patrolling the corridors at night. Early in the morning, they would all be asleep, so, much to the dismay of his roommates, Remus suggested that operations commence at 0400. Many other amendments were also made, and those that were too complicated for the simple-sign-and-point system they had going, were written out and promptly tossed in the fire.

* * *

Saturday morning dawned bright and early, okay, so dawned bright and early arent the right words considering that it was 4am in the winter but you get the point. Saturday morning came, nevertheless, far too early for the member of the top floor of the boy's wing of Gryffindor tower. Remus dragged James out of bed, tasked him with waking the other two, and took a quick shower to rinse off the sweat that had built up from thrashing in his sleep.

Up and dressed in their relaxed attire-no need to draw any unwanted attention to someone who might happen to catch a glimpse of them that they were in Gryffindor, the four headed downstairs to begin the set up for the christmas farewell prank.

* * *

Already weary from their morning escapade, James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter worked their way down to the great hall with the rest of Gryffindor at the reasonable hour of seven o'clock. They sat and began to consume their meals in the school-wide frenzy to finish and pack their last minute items to take home for the holidays. Around Seven forty-five, Sirius put the plan to work; Remus would have done it, but non-verbal spells were not something he had had the opportunity to study yet.

When snow began to float gently down from the ceiling, faculty and students alike seemed mildly pleased and entertained. They became significantly less entertained when the snow picked up to a light flurry. James released the next phase of the trick, which sent the snow spiralling around students to create human snowmen.

The hall filled with laughter as those covered in snow began to dance between their tables, led in singing 'Frosty the Snowman by a few bold muggleborn Hufflepuffs.

And then it was Peter's turn, and considering his usual ineptitude where magic was concerned, it went very well. True, however to the Pettigrew fashion, he sneezed as he was muttering the incantation, which resulted in a foot and a half of snow to drop straight down onto the head table and all seated there.

Professor Flitwick had vanished behind the blanket of snow, the Potions Master looked very irritated that his breakfast pastries were buried under a thick layer of snow, and Professor Styne was absolutely thrilled. The headmaster made to stand, and had his head knocked off of his head by a stray snowball.

Remus caught the Herbology professor shake his hand under the table and put on a face of innocence.

After retrieving his hat, Dumbledore returned to his seat, and made to address the school, covertly forming a ball of white fluff. Eyes twinkling, he cleared his throat to speak and all eyes- students and faculty alike- were on him. Then his arm flashed up above the snow-covered table and professor Styne was knocked off his his chair and popped up with snow stuck behind his glasses and in his hair. In retaliation, he threw another ball, but missed and struck Professor McGonagall instead.

Taking the lead from their professors, the Great hall erupted into an all-out house versus house snowball fight with several professors taking the sides of their alma mater.

* * *

Needless to say, students boarded the train an hour later with pink cheeks and sniffles. Farewells had been made to those staying in the entrance hall, though Sirius had been nowhere to be found; Remus could smell him faintly though-just enough to suggest he was nearby.  _Must be around a corner or something. Based on what James said and how clingy he can be I wouldn't be all that surprised._

Stowing their luggage in the rear compartment of the train, James, Remus and Peter settled in for the haul with a deck of cards and a chess set.

By the time the lunch trolley came by, Peter was napping and James was getting creamed for the third consecutive game of chess'

"Anything from the trolley?" the trolley lady asked kindly when she stopped outside their door.

Remus kindly declined as he did not have any money, but James practically leapt to the door and bought most of the cart. "Eat up. It'll vanish pretty quickly once Peter wakes up."

Feeling slightly awkward with the charity, Remus suckedon a chocolate frog while the other two indulged themselves, the chess game abandoned. He was reaching for another when James's trunk, which they had been using as their table because he couldn't lift it onto the rack and refused Remus's offer of assistance, jerked.

He paused, the others hadn't seemed to notice anything had happened, and went for the chocolate again. This time the trunk rattled audibly. James and Peter froze and stared at the shaking box on the floor.

"James, are you trying to smuggle some bludgers home or something?"

"No… and on the note of quidditch Remus, you've got to be the only one in the school who hasn't made it to a game."

Remus pulled back slightly and scratched his head, contemplating how to respond, though he needn't have bothered because Peter jumped in for him. "If it isn't bludgers, do you think maybe Sirius put something in there?"

"That might explain his absence when we left, cheeky bugger couldn't face us without the giveaway. Why don't you take a peek to see what it is Peter?" James suggested.

"No way. It's your trunk; you check."

"You think I'm stupid? If it was Sirius it's definitely booby trapped. No way I'm touching it."

"But you expected me to?"

Remus interjected the argument with a sharp slap on the trunk. The noises from inside the trunk were abating. Remus made a series of motions, some sign mixed with their own, attempting to say is it airtight?

"What?" Remus mimed rain falling this time and water dripping. James tried to piece together the question and came up with wet "Pretty well I guess? I mean, the stuff inside always stays dry…" Remus wrinkled his nose only for James to follow suit. "He wouldn't  _dare_. Peter-"

"Still not opening it."

Remus rolled his eyes and knelt on the floor. Not waiting for a key from James, he pulled out the paper clips that had been in his coat pocket for three years, stuck them in the lock, and put his ear to the lid, all while James and Peter sat watching in awe as their studious friend shifted the tumblers.

The lid opened with a soft click. By now, the other boys were crowded around the trunk, both begging to be taught this muggle skill. Remus almost dropped the lid when he saw what was causing the shifting. Instead, he dropped his forehead to his palm.

Sirius was curled up in the corner of the trunk-that he had asked Remus to expand, supposedly to that he could put a few cauldrons in it to cause James grief, grinning sheepishly up at the owner of said trunk. "Happy Christmas?"

This earned a soft-for-Remus punch to the shoulder and laughter form the other two.

"I wish I could say I'm surprised" coughed James between laughing and gasping for air.

For a moment, the grin fell from Sirius's face. Would he be sent back to the school?  _Merlin, please don't sent me home._ His eyes pleaded with James until they were distracted but the plethora of sweets that littered the seat.

Noting his plea. James calmed himself enough to offer a suggestion. "Do you want to spend the holidays at my place? I'm sure my parents won't mind."

James did not expect to be tackled off his seat by an overzealous stowaway. "Actually, do you two want to come for new year's? Spend a few nights?"

Peter was instantly game, excited to explore the legendary Potter Mansion. Remus nodded, but pulled out parchment and a quill.

_I'll have to check with my parents, planning on visiting Rom if he's still stuck in hospital._

"Right then," James said after examining Remus's tidy scrawl. I'll plan for a yes and it'll be a blast."

The remainder of the train ride was boisterous and full of laughter. The subject of the recent attack was broached once, but shut down quickly when anger flashed across Remus's eyes. When they pulled into King's Cross, abs were aching with laughter and ideas for later trouble-making were floating around the compartment, unable to be reasoned with by the group's voice of reason because the voice had been magically silenced.

They parted on the platform to find their parents with promises to try and make it at New Year's. As Remus made his way over to his parents, he was smiling as much as his wiring would allow, eager to go home, visit his brother, and, well, he'd find a way to tell them about his term.

In his concern and excitement, the youngest Lupin completely forgot about the colouring of his face; and based on the reaction he received from his mother, it would have been a good idea to give her a heads-up about the broken jaw. Another indication that he should have said something came when she took his face in her hands to first kiss him hello  _First of all: ow ow ow ow ow. Second, Ew mum, there are people watching. My FRIENDS can see this. Oh god, please let them be distracted_  and then to examine his bruises. She did however remove her hands when he flinched.

"Remus! What happened to you? Are you being bullied?" Remus crossed his arms and gave his mother the  _you're kidding right_  look. "Oh, Oh! Did you do this on…" The  _you're embarrassing me_  look vanished into an outright silencing glare and his arms dropped to his side in fists. "Let's get going then shall we? You look rather exhausted."

With that, Remus waved farewell to his friends and followed his mother through the train station to the car, where he conked out in the back seat, grateful for the rest and avoidance to his mother's bombardment of questions.

* * *

His father apparated home shortly after their arrival and immediately sought out his son for a hug- careful not to crush him in case there were any healing injuries. Hope approached her husband from behind and circled her arms around his waist. "Any good boggart fight today dear?"

Sensing a lovey-dovey exchange arising between his parents, Remus ducked off to his bedroom in search of a communication system that did not require endless supplies. It took some digging because he really hadn't had much in the way of toys. Most of the money that his parents made had been spent on medical supplies for their son. They had tried to find a cure for awhile, regardless of expense, but nothing seemed to work and from a young age, Remus had convinced his parents that it really wasn't that bad and there wouldn't be a cure anyway.

This had not reduced the family's financial strain because they had been forced to move almost annually- as soon as people started asking questions about Remus's health or the strange noises that came from their property some evenings, the Lupin family packed up and moved away. So not only could they not afford toys for their son-who was perfectly content to read- but such things were often lost in transit or left behind because they had been outgrown. Needless to say, Remus had to first remember if he had anything, then he had to dig through the overflow bookshelf that was his closet.

Returning downstairs fifteen minutes later for dinner, battered etch-a-sketch in hand, he entered the kitchen into the abrupt silence of a halted argument.

"Will you tell us what happened to your face please? You haven't said anything at all." Hope had been developing more and more concerns about her son being at school while he was away. The purple, blue, and green on his face were not reducing these concerns.

Remus plopped himself down in his chair at the kitchen table, flipped the red box upside down and shook away the drawing of Apollo 11. Then he began to work the knobs.

Now it was his father's turn to be concerned. "Remus, why aren't you talking to us?"

The boy held up a finger, then returned to fiddling with the knobs. When he was finished, he held up the finished product for his parents to read.

"You broke your jaw?" His mother was indignant

"Why didn't the nurse just set it? Wiring is by no means a common practice in the wizarding world." Lyall asked, intrigued by the idea.

Most of dinner was spent like this. Remus doodling out answers to the bombardment of questions from his parents. He slurped up his soup while explaining the events leading up to the mishap.

When dinner was done, Lyall looked at the clock and started. "Come on lad, if you want to visit your brother tonight you'd better hurry. Visiting hours close at eight."

Eyes lit up and he bounced to his feet, pausing briefly to hug his father in thanks before he sped down the hallway for his patched and tattered cloak. Lyall merely chuckled and summoned his own. The pair set off down the moonlit drive, Hope watching as father and son disappeared with a 'pop' into the darkness. With a soft chuckle she returned to the kitchen, trying to think of a way to liquefy turkey dinner so that her son didn't have to eat soup for Christmas.

 


	19. Confrontations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A dicey hospital turns sour.

**Disclaimer: Do I get paid to do this? No that's why I'm going to school to fix planes.**

**23 December 1972**

Remus hated hospitals, muggle and magical alike. The overpowering stench of antiseptic, the crying of children and coughing of patients, the slightly- warmer -than-room- temperature atmosphere. It was nauseating. Throw in the fact that is reminded him constantly of what he was, and it was downright sickening. The hospital wing at Hogwarts wasn't as bad, but it was still a crushing reminder that he was abnormal and without place in society. For a twelve-year-old, these are rather dark thoughts.

He was willing to get past it today though, mostly because he wasn't there as a patient. He was there to visit his brother, and he didn't have to wait long, though the plan was to send Lyall up first to check that the coast was clear.

Upon entering the hospital, Remus and his father had barely taken ten paces in the door when they were stopped by a wizard in lime green robes. He caught sight of the pair and rolled his eyes, muttering under his breath so that next to to no one could hear him. Remus however was not just anyone. "Again? But I just put you back there ten minutes ago."

Remus raised a confused eyebrow at the man before he was marched upstairs by the frustrated healer. "I told you five times today, stay in bed or you'll stay here longer."

Had he been able to, Remus would have protested, but this was not the case. He was led to the fourth floor, a rather dumbstruck Lyall trailing behind them. Still holding onto Remus, the healer pushed open the third set of ward doors and hauled him inside to the end of the ward, where he froze in his tracks.

The healer looked from the boy in the bed to the one he was holding at a complete loss for words. Romulus looked like a deer caught in the headlights, his eyes flicking from his brother to the door in anxious anticipation. "Terribly sorry young man, I thought you were young Mr. Lupin, he has a bit of a tendency to wander." The healer was flustered and apologized profusely for the mix up, but Lyall merely chuckled, reminded of his own childhood antics.

"Not to worry. This is who we were on our way to see. Thank you." The healer left the room with a nod and yet another apology.

Immediately after the door was closed, Remus pulled his Etch-a-Sketch out of his pocket and began to scribble out a question to his brother, who looked to their father in confusion.

"He broke his jaw a few too many times in a week and they wired it shut on him."

This brought a brief smile to Romulus's face. But the smile faltered and fell when the door to the ward opened moments later. Lyall followed his oldest son's gaze, only to have his good mood be crushed as well.

Aster Betts stood stock still in the middle of the floor staring at the man by her son's bed. She had yet to notice Remus yet because he had been shoved behind the bed and had then proceeded to duck under the bed. "Lyall…" She trailed off, glancing from the father of her child to her husband.

The man standing beside her was tall and lean with a military style haircut. He must have had some sort of sixth sense because within seconds he had excused himself to get a drink and snack for his stepson.

"Lyall…" Aster started, completely caught off guard by her ex- boyfriend's presence. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm visiting my son." Responded the man cooly. "I thought that was rather obvious."

A sputtering cough from their son ended the brief stare-down and both adults rushed to his side. Learning he had merely choked on his water, the parents resumed their chilly attitudes.

A prolonged silence passed, and Aster stiffened in discomfort and realization. "You didn't bring that dirty little monster with you did you?"

The boys' father clenched his fists. His face hardened and his eyes narrowed. "My son is not a monster."

Aster was about to retort when Remus removed himself from his hiding place and stood up straight and tall in the face of his brother's mother. Aster regarded him briefly in disgust and returned her anger towards his father.

"How dare you bring it here of all places. This is a hospital, not a feeding ground!" Her voice was low but filled with anger and hatred. Lyall spluttered, trying to form a sentence in his anger. "I'll allow you to see him despite your blatant disregard for his safety and well-being, but only because you are his father, and only this once."

Lyall looked sadly at his younger son, who nodded and made for the door, stopping just before the hall to look the woman in the eye and hold up his communication tool. I just have one question for you. How would you be acting if mine and Rom's positions were reversed?

* * *

With that, Remus Lupin turned on his heel and stormed quietly out the door, headed for the café on the fifth floor, where he could wait few from antiseptic and prejudice. The uppermost floor of the hospital was almost empty. It's only occupants were the man who ran the café and the gift shop, an elderly lady in the far corner, and the man that had entered the ward with Aster Betts.

He was sitting with his back to the door but turned when he heard it open. "Hey, you have got to be related to Romulus. A long lost twin or something." He stood and offered his hand. "Ben Mynarski. Rom"s stepfather"

As uncomfortable as he was with the situation, manners won out and Remus took the offered hand in a firm shake. Remus Lupin. My jaw is broken. Ben snorted softly. Still, it was audible to Remus. The boy smiled and scribbled on the toy. You can say it.

The older man returned the smile. "Your parents named you after the famed siblings of Rome by accident?"

Fav. story. Ironic though. Remus cast his eyes down and plopped himself into a chair.

Ben took the chair opposite "Why's that? Ironic I mean."

Remus stilled.  _I let it slip. I never let it slip. I just assumed that someone knew and now I'm going to be expelled, and imprisoned for reckless endangerment or something and-_

"Remus? Earth to Remus?"

Pulled back to reality, Remus stood hastily and made to leave.

"Remus, sit down, and forget I asked okay?" The werewolf cautiously retook his seat. "Do you want anything to drink?" A head shake indicated the negative and the pair sat in silence for a few minutes.

Remus sat fiddling with the white knobs on the red box in front of him before holding it up. You're a muggle right? What is it that you do?

Ben read the note and then tried to look it's writer in the eyes. "I know some ASL if that helps any"

Remus shook the etch-a-sketch. BSL

"Damn. It would make conversation easier wouldn't it?" Remus nodded his agreement. The etch-a-sketch was not an easy thing to write with but it still beat carrying a roll of parchment, quill, and , having to stop and write out a response made things a bit awkward. "Well, to answer your question, yes I am a muggle, and I'm a commercial pilot."

This revelation pulled any lingering fears about his potential slip away. He could 'talk' to someone about flying that didn't involve holding your balance on a little piece of wood hovering openly above the ground. Remus listened with rapt attention as the man explained- with Remus's recommendation- how airplanes flew without magic. Sciences in that sense weren't approached until secondary, and magical or not, the rules of science still apply.

Lyall exited the stairwell an hour later to find his son hanging onto the every word that came out of Aster's husband's mouth. "I hate to interrupt you two, but we should be heading home soon."

The two at the table stood and Remus pulled on his cloak. Thanks he scribbled out for his entertainer, with a melancholy smile.

"Thank you for keeping an eye on Remus. I'm Lyall by the way, Romulus's birth father." He extended his hand in a gesture of good faith toward the man who seemed to harbour no ill feelings to his stepson's biological family.

"Ben Mynarski. I hope we can actually meet at some point and get to know each other.

"As do I." He released his counterpart's hand with a nod and took his son's. "Come on kiddo, let's get home before Hope has a conniption." On the way out the door, Remus turned and waved to his newest educational motivator.

* * *

Christmas morning came with the packing of owls at the windows. Remus stumbled out of bed and down the stairs to let the birds in through the kitchen window. There were four in total, each carrying a package. He cut the cord from the birds, found them some treats, and allowed them to warm up again before they departed back into the cold.

Owls were among the few animals that didn't act funny around Remus. The cats at Hogwarts reminded him on a regular basis as to why he was definitely a dog person and not a cat person. A few of the more recent scars on his arms were actually the result of cats that had decided to come at him. Most were of course the result of his other personality.

Opting to wait for his parents, Remus set the parcels under the tree and started breakfast, knowing that his father couldn't resist the smell of pancakes and bacon.

The two parents arrived downstairs approximately fifteen minutes later, Lyall, led by his nose and stomach, and Hope by her husband's childish excitement about it being Christmas morning. Remus received a ruffling of hair and a kiss on the cheek in greeting. Breakfast was consumed in quick order-Remus, regretfully having put his mother's blender to work emulsifying berries, pancakes, bacon and syrup. Not a recommended breakfast, but he slurped up nonetheless.

While the Lupins may not have had a lot of money, there was still a medium sized pile of presents under the tree. As always, Remus was given the first chance to pass out a gift to everyone. He had spent many hours while James and Sirius were in one of their many detentions creating the small wood carvings for his parents. His father received a hippogriff- courtesy of one of the many tales he had told about his early exploits- and his mother was gifted with a small model of the Hogwarts Express. She took the train from it's wrapping with a tear in her eye and pulled Remus into a rib-crushing hug.

A mess and a half later the family left the sitting room to find appropriate homes for their newly acquired possessions. Setting his box on his bed, Remus proceeded to hunt for a place for his newest book on magical creatures. Then he decided he should at least put the copy of Quidditch: Simply Put that he had received from Sirius somewhere that he might actually notice it, if only because he knew they were going to force him to go to the Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw match when school started back up and he really didn't know the sport. The next thing in the box was from James and he felt guilty just looking at it. He glanced from the worn hand-me-down cloak that had been his for several years hanging on the back of his door to that which sat folded neatly in front of him. Grudgingly, he pulled it out, running the soft wool through his fingers before throwing it over his shoulders.

Remus sighed. Despite being brand new from a friend who was used to everything fitting absolutely perfectly, be it by accident of on purpose, the new cloak felt perfect. It fit loosely enough for even Remus's liking, and was actually long enough to offer room for growth. He went to do the clasp- his mother wanted to see it- and yelped when his fingers contacted the silver fastener. He swore quietly without realizing that his mother was standing outside his door.

"Remus John Lupin, you say that again and I'll wash your mouth out with soap!"

_I guess the silencing charm finally wore off._

"Come on out, I want to see this cloak." She was glad that her son had found friends that cared about him, but at the same time she was a little ashamed that his friends thought that they needed to provide for him.

Remus opened the door after doing the clasp with his gloves, holding the note that had come with it out for his mother to read.

_Happy Christmas Remus_

_First, I know what you're going to say, so don't. I got this from my aunt last year and one from another aunt this year. This one is still too long for me and I figured it shouldn't sit in a closet until I never grow into it._

_Sirius is driving Tyke- that's our elf- up the wall. You'll be surprised to know that he does actually clean up after himself while we're at school._

_Anyway, my parents would love to meet you if you'd like to come over for New Year' they choose to consent to your attendance, they're welcome to come too. I think my parents want to commend them for having a kid that actually behaves himself every once in awhile. They said something about you being 'a good influence' and that I should have brought you home instead of Sirius._

_Sunday at Seven, Floo address is Potter Mansion. Just bring yourselves._

_James_

Remus looked pleadingly at his mother, half-begging to go. "Oh, alright. We didn't have anything planned anyway."

He punched the air in victory and scrambled back into his room to write James back.

"But I meant what I said about the soap, I'll squirt it into your mouth if I have to!"

He decided to close the door gently in acknowledgement and wrote his response to the Potters' invitation, explaining that he would bring their gifts with him- not that he knew what they were yet. Then he removed the cloak before he overheated, careful to pull his sleeves over the clasp as he undid it.

Hanging the cloak beside the old one, Remus continued to sort through the box. The already quarter-empty package of chocolate from Peter went beside his bed and the leather-bound notebook from Lily went right into his trunk so he wouldn't forget it. He smiled at the quote stamped on the cover:  _"Think before you speak. Read before you think." ― Fran Lebowitz._  He was beginning to wonder if Lily knew him better than himself.

But the thing that he liked the most was not the books or the cloak, or the socks, or chocolate. His favourite gift was from his brother. Remus assumed that Romulus's stepfather had had something to do with the silver model of the 104 Starfighter that now sat beside his bed. It fascinated him that something non-magical could go 1,146 miles per hour. Come to think of it , magical-land transportation couldn't go that fast. He sat on his bed, tracing the red, white, and blue roundel on the white wings of the airplane, thinking that he would much rather fly in a Starfighter than on a broom. This was before he found out about g-forces, sudden depressurization, potential ejection and many other points that go along with high-altitude, and high speed flight existed.

* * *

The six days leading up to the new year were mostly spent reading. That and trying to figure out what to give his friends. He had already sent Romulus a small 3D puzzle that he could spend hours in class fiddling with-as opposed to fidgeting and accidentally flinging his quills across the room. And Lily should have already received her book containing music for a plethora of popular songs and folk music in wizarding Britain. While she never said anything, he had seen her with a small case a few times, and he had definitely heard someone playing the flute in Gryffindor tower on numerous occasions. He was sure that at one point he had heard 'The Bare Necessities' floating over from the girl's dorms.

Back to James, Sirius, and Peter. He couldn't really buy them anything, besides, James and Sirius were already wealthy, and Peter's family was supposedly well off. It was while he was taking a walk to clear his head that he came up with an idea. He knelt by the frozen stream and chiseled out four smooth stones. Then he returned indoors, took the mug of hot chocolate his mother had prepared for him from the counter, dropped some mini marshmallows and chocolate chips into the drink and headed upstairs to dig through charms books.

Apparently he would have to wait until he had access to the Hogwarts library to find what he wanted, so he pulled out his knife and flipped for a page he had come across to make the stone softer to etch into with his knife. He smiled to himself as he set to work with the knife, carving the stone like it was butter.  _I actually figured out non-verbal spells! Maybe I should thank Sirius for breaking my jaw._

By the time they were preparing to leave for the Potters', all four stones had a rendition of the Gryffindor lion on one side, and another symbol of sorts on the other. For James, there was a broom, Sirius had a beater's bat, and Peter's, well, that had taken a bit more thought. On Peter's stone he had eventually decided to carve an eye, thinking that Peter often noticed small differences- like the differences between Remus and Romulus.

As for his own, he would wait to see what his friends thought symbolized him.

"Remus, are you coming or not?" his father called up the stairs. Referring quickly to the book on the floor, Remus silently hardened the stones, gathered them up, snatched a cloak off the door, and bolted down the stairs.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sort of an easter egg in this one, famous aviator, see if you can spot the reference.


	20. 'Rest' and 'Relaxation'

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just kids being kids for a few days.

**Disclaimer- it took me way too many tries to write that word, so I need to go to bed because I don't make money doing this**

**31 December 1972**

The nauseousness that Remus usually felt when travelling by floo was immediately forgotten when he stepped out of the fireplace. All he could do was stare in awe at the room he was in. It appeared to be a massive sitting room, furnished with gleaming oak tables, couches, and chairs. An impressive chess set sat on a small table in the corner, and the chandeliers hanging from the ceiling could rival those at Hogwarts. The lights cast glittering shadows on the cream carpet which instantly made Remus feel awful because the path he had wandered was definitely not cream anymore.

Glancing behind him to ensure his parents wouldn't see, he pulled out his wand and moved it on an 's'  _scourgify! It worked again! Oh this is awesome._

"Remus?" Sirius was standing by the door with a grin on his face. "OI! James, he's down here!"

Remus walked up to his friend and punched him lightly on the shoulder in greeting.

"Your parents showed up in the entrance hall where the floo network usually sends people. How'd you end up here?" asked Sirius, leading the new arrival upstairs to James's room.

Remus said nothing- he really didn't want to give Pomfrey the chance to gloat-and gave his friend a rather pointed look instead.

"Right. You can't talk. Peter can't make it by the way, his family decided to go on vacation to France" He grinned mischievously before opening the door. "So how was your Christmas  _Remmy_?"

Remus's nostrils flared in irritation and he pulled out his wand.

"Remus, what happened to no magic outside school? Also how can you do anything without talking?" James had made his appearance; his arms laden with crisps, cakes, and ice cream. Apparently he had convinced his parents to let him go the the supermarket, or more likely, he had simply gone himself and returned with a ton of sweets.

James flinched as Remus began flicking his wand through the air. There are how many adult wizards here? Just how exactly will they differentiate the magic performed? Remus had also found a spell that allowed the user to draw in the air. His fiery orange letters faded before either of his friends said anything.  _I think pointing that out may have been a mistake_.

To confirm his suspicion, James and Sirius flashed each other a deadly smirk. "Wicked"

Remus gulped.

He was saved by the arrival of Mrs. Potter. She actually resembled Sirius a bit, in terms of the eyes and skin tone at least. Her face was kinder, and Sirius was obviously on track to be taller than her because Remus already was. "You must be Remus."

Remus nodded, and pulled out his trusty communication tool.

"It's lovely to meet you. Do you have any requests for dinner? James said you were allergic to something but he couldn't remember what."

Twiddling the knobs, Remus etched out his answer. Paprika = bad. Also liquid? He felt bad for asking her to go out of her way but Mrs. Potter didn't see this as an issue.

Instead she turned in her son. "You didn't tell me he couldn't talk James, I know a healer-"

James and Remus's cheeks reddened. "Normally he can mum, Sirius just went and broke his jaw and for some reason they couldn't heal it the normal way."

Now it Was Mrs Potter's turn to be embarrassed. "Oh, I'm sorry dear" she said addressing Remus once again. "Soup, or perhaps I can have Tyke think of something more substantial?"

The boy nodded, shook his etch-a-sketch and scribbled Soup would be great. Thank you.

"Not a problem dear" She bustled out of the room, leaving James and Sirius to dig into the snacks.

Gesturing at Remus to come over, James thrust the container of ice cream at him. "I don't know why someone would want melted ice cream but i understand coke floats are good" Remus opened the container disbelieving the idea and rolled his eyes as he was met with his expectations. A full can of ginger ale was floating in the vanilla sludge.

We are never going to get to sleep

Sirius was appalled at this. "Why in the world would we want to sleep?"

Remus just shook his head. And then he remembered his pocket. I have something for you guys. He handed each of them their stone. When we get back to school I'm going to link them together to heat up and cool down so we have distance communication.

James and Sirius shared another devious grin, and returned to rolling the stones in their palms. "Can we see yours and Peter's?"

Remus shrugged but held his fading fading his lips- instructing them not to spoil the surprise for Peter. When they agreed, he pulled out the one with the eye on it.

James and Sirius wore identical expressions at the sight of the carving. The host of the evening, however, managed to show some manners and restraint.

Sirius, not so much. "Why does Peter get an eye? He isn't exactly all-knowing."

Remus to his eyes at his friend's lack of thought, grateful that Peter wasn't there to bear the brunt of the mockery that would've surely come. Peter notices things. Like the difference between me and my brother that you two-year missed.

The ashamed looks faded when they noticed Remus had yet to mark his own. Jane took it and rolled it in his palm in thought. "Why is yours blank?"

Didn't think it was fair to come up with my own.

Another of the dreaded shared looks between the pure-blooded friends.  _I'm so dead by the end of the night_

"We'll Think on it and get it back to you on the train."

Again Remus gulped.

* * *

By the time the late dinner was called, James and Sirius had managed to go through an insane amount of sweets, and were almost on par with Romulus's average hyperactivity. The pair bounced down the hall and slid down the banister, followed by a significantly calmer Remus. They got themselves kicked out of the kitchen before Remus even managed to get there, and were sentenced to sit politely at the dinner table and listen to adults converse about work and other boring topics.

Charlus Potter had removed the snack platters from their end of the table- adults were entitled to them too- and asked Lyall about his work. The black-haired boys ceased their bouncing and listened with interest to the escapades of their friend's father and his pursuit of non-corporeal beings. This lead into auror stories and soon enough dinner was served.

Lamb with sweet potatoes, carrots, beans, and the whole nine yards. A small house-elf trotted up to the table with a large steaming mug in hand. The elf approached Remus, went up on his tip-toes to place the mug in front of him and bowed lowly out the door. The mus was filled with a thick butternut squash soup, with lamb somehow added in. Remus was thrilled with the concoction and slurped it happily as those around him conversed.

He was almost zoned out when Charlus directed a question at him. "I understand your brother was involved in the incident at the school, how is he doing?"

Caught off guard, Remus fumbled for his etch-a-sketch and began scribbling. It only took about fifteen seconds but it still felt like forever before he held up the red box. He got released a few days ago, going to be fine, but Aster wants to transfer him, Remus had received a letter from his half brother a few days prior, presumably with the help of his stepfather explaining that he was indeed recovering and that his mother wanted 'to keep her son closer' intended to transfer him to Ilvermorny, the school in the United States. The Lupins all knew the real reason that Aster wanted to transfer her son, but none of them had broached the topic yet. The boys however were extremely displeased with the decision.

"Damn. I hope he can talk her out of it, Rom is a riot in class." James commented, remembering one of the many stories they had heard from the Ravenclaws about their housemate.

Lyall stepped in, hoping to end this line of discussion before he became too angry. "Sirius, do you have any siblings?"

Not exactly a great change of topic. Sirius stiffened. "Regulus is my little brother, he's a Slytherin I don't exactly get along with my family at school."

James's mother frowned slightly, understanding where he was coming from. "Honey, why don't you tell about the quidditch season so far? You and Sirius haven't been making many appearances to chat so far."

James grinned and launched into extensive play-by-plays of the school tournament, with occasional interjections from his teammate.

* * *

The Lupins rather enjoyed the Potter family's tradition of games until midnight, and spent their time cleaning up fairly well. There had been a speed chess tournament, exploding snap house building, gobstones, and several different card games. Needless to say, the boys were barely awake for midnight.

The wizarding world employs similar traditions to their muggle counterparts, but Remus was glad for once that he couldn't open his mouth, because he really didn't see how stuffing one's mouth with pickles frog's eyes was fun. Supposedly, the person who could fit the most in their mouth in the minute leading up to midnight would be graced with strength and prosperity.

James and Sirius, despite their big mouths, were not the winners of the challenge. That honour was bestowed upon Hope Lupin. Remus avoided her new year's kiss at all costs, and eventually retired to James's room with his friends, where they crashed and burned from the sugar and adrenaline high that had been fueling the evening.

* * *

It was well after noon before the trio woke up from their sugar/adrenaline induced comas, and they quickly learned that Remus had been granted permission to stay for a few days, provided he behave himself.

The remainder of the day was spent outdoors, at the demand of Dorea Potter-who thought that perhaps an opportunity was needed to burn off energy.

* * *

"Hey guys, you coming?" Remus spelled out from the middle of the frozen pond on the Potter's estate, transfigured blades strapped to his boots.

James looked at the frozen water uneasily, but stepped out nonetheless, and made his way slowly out to his friend.

Sirius however, stood with his feet planted firmly on solid ground with his arms crossed. "Are you barmy? I am  _not_  going out there." with that, he plopped himself down in the snow to sit comfortably and wait.

Remus was not taking no for an answer. He glided his way over to James, grabbed his hand and dragged him back to the shore. "What's the matter Black? Are you chicken?" James chirped, before proceeding to flap his arms and cluck like a chicken, moving in circles on the ice.

"I am  _not_  afraid, I just don't see why you would want to fall on your arse." He nodded at James, who was sprawled on his back at Remus's feet.

Don't care. You're coming. And before Sirius could react, his friend had grabbed his hand and was drawing him to the center of the pond.

He only truly started to protest when Remus began to skate in increasingly tight circles. "Remus stop, let go, I don't like this!"

Sirius realized his mistake a second too late when he saw the glint in his tormentor's eyes. He let go, sending the shorter boy speeding across the ice, flailing to stay on his feet. These attempts failed when Sirius tried to take a step.

James and Remus made their way over, only to find the downed boy laughing his pants off. "I give, I give, just give me what you've got."

Have you two seriously never been skating before? Remus asked, puzzled that they had never enjoyed one of his few outdoor pass times.

"My parents don't let me get out much, and would  _definitely_ not condone 'sliding around like a bunch of hooligans'. Sirius made air quotes around the last part of his sentence.

"Muggles put blades on their feet, and walk on frozen water for fun?" James was much more open to the idea, but didn't quite get why one would do something like this.

Remus merely rolled his eyes, and non-verbally transfigured some sticks into skates that could be strapped onto their shoes. It took a solid five minutes for the two to figure out how to get up, and they only succeeded because Remus strode up behind them, picked them up and placed them on their feet. Both fell right back down.

It's a good thing it doesn't matter if you have two left feet to fly. His friends merely scowled and floundered around on the ice.

James gave up first. "Teach us how to do this and we'll stop calling you Remmy."

Remus smirked. When you do get up, don't bend your knees. Don't wiggle, just stand. James and Sirius nodded. One by one, Remus picked them up and put them on their feet once more.

"Have I ever mentioned that you are unnaturally strong?" Sirius asked, taking the command not to move a little too literally. He spoke from the corner of his mouth and had left his arms where Remus had left them.

No. When you want to move, bend your knees and point your toes outwards, then start with small steps. Remus demonstrated, allowing his weight to drive him forward for a few moment before taking a few short steps. Then he lengthened his stride and proceeded to spin around on the ice, do a lap of the pond, and pull off a sharp stop, snowing his friends and flashing them a devilish grin.

It was like this that they spent most of the afternoon. Sirius, in his nervousness, heeded the instructions given and started out slow; he picked it up after a few waddling laps. James was a different story. He figured that if Remus could do it so easily, so could he, and that he should dive in full force. Well, dive he did-right into several snowbanks. He also face-planted, belly-flopped, fell flat on his back and arse, and fell head over heels before Sirius skated up to his with only the slightest indication of unsteadiness.

"Having trouble there mate?"

The one advantage of the two falling so often was that they had eventually learned to get up by themselves. James was particularly good at this. Quick as he may have been getting to his feet, he was not once he got there, and Sirius was long gone.

About to tear off after his friend, James felt a pair of arms wrap around him and prevent his fall. Moving so he could face his struggling friend, Remus pulled out his wand once more. Baby steps this time OK? My arse hurts just watching you.

"Fine" James hated not being able to get the hang of the sport.

Still facing his student, Remus held out his mittened hands and grabbed onto James's elbows. His student followed suit and Remus nodded, keeping a good grip on his friend. James took the first step, and Remus skulled backwards, not wanting his own skates to leave the ice and get caught off balance with his friend.

By nightfall, the three were tired and cold, and could all skate to some degree of competence. They headed for the bank, where Remus slowed and stepped gracefully off the ice, Sirius made an imprint of himself in the snow, and James chickened out by turning at the last minute.

"HOW DO I STOP?" he shouted, turning back when he reached the center of the pond.

Remus laughed as loudly as he could while clenching his jaw. He really didn't want a repeat of stretching the wire. Between his fits of laughter, Remus managed to spell out a reply for the boy standing on the ice with his arms crossed, and whose feet were slowly sliding apart. Sharply push your heels out. Remus and Sirius then doubled over as their friend pushed his feet and toes out, propelling him onto his face.

"I think I'll just crawl" he mumbled when he skidded to a halt a few feet from the water's edge. Remus and Sirius lost it again as they pulled uff their states.

The walk back to the house was spent in silence-save the chattering of teeth as the wind picked up and the temperature dropped sharply.

* * *

"Merlin, where have you been?" Mrs Potter was about to scold the boys when she noted their condition. Large mugs of steaming cocoa were promptly produces, and warmed blankets were draped over shoulders as they were ushered before the fire in the sitting room, still clad in their outdoor gear.

Remus was the first to remove his cloak, boots, and wet socks. James and Sirius watched disbelievingly as their friend shed layers of clothing.

"Are you no cold enough?"  _Sirius really mustn't have gotten out much._

After checking that James's mother had left the room, Remus flicked his wand through the air. You'll warm up faster. Trust me. The pair simply stared at him, teeth chattering.  _You have so much to learn about the real world_. Less layers=less time before the heat hits you. I'm already warming up.

James and Sirius shared a quick glance, and began stripping to their pants, pulling the blankets snugly around themselves as they scooted closer to the fire. Mr. Potter arrived moments later, and merely chortled at the trail of clothing that his son and his guest had left. Part of the laughter was a result of the contrast between James and Sirius, and Remus. The latter had neatly laid out his wet clothes on the stones before the fire.

"Dinner is ready boys, or would you rather we bring it in here and listen to the radio?"

James wasted absolutely zero time in coming up with his answer. "In here please."

Charlus laughed again and turned to retrieve his wife and their food.

The adults managed to pull their charges far enough from the fireplace to set them up at the coffee table.

Dorea started the conversation over the stew. "So what, might I ask, were you doing out so long? I'm grateful that you went outside, but James usually comes in after an hour when he gets cold." Remus snorted and rolled his eyes while his friend turned redder at the ears.

"Remus taught us how to skate." said Sirius, after having swallowed his mouthful. "We were out so long because that's how long it took James to pick it up."

James managed to get redder and was fully intending to pounce on his friend, but his blanket shifted in his movements and a cool draft slipped in, shutting him down. Remus had ditched the blanket before dinner; he had grabbed a sweater from the bag that his mother had packed him, and was desperately trying not to choke on his broth.

"Skating? Dear, I didn't realise we had skates? I've never been." Mrs Potter asked her husband. Sirius pointed to the pile of gear by the kitchen door that was apparently the un-official equipment dumping corner.

The man shot Remus a knowing look, winked, and covered for him by saying that there were piles of junk in the basement and attic and that that must be where they found them. Remus hid his face in his bowl and remained as silent as ever as his friends recounted their escapade.

* * *

The next day, as James and Sirius had decreed, was spent teaching their roommate all about quidditch. Not only did the crash course involve ground school, but they actually decided to raid the broom closet and give Remus a few practical lessons.

What the quidditch fanatics didn't realise was that not only had Remus missed first-year flying lessons, but he had never actually  _touched_  a broomstick before. It was not the promised treat. The werewolf was almost as bad on a broom as James was on skates, so they could throw any expectations of a mini-match out the proverbial window.

In essence, Remus cured his friends of their unwillingness to spend any significant amount of time outdoors and in doing so, the number of  _Reparo_ 's incanted in the Potter Mansion was greatly reduced.

* * *

Lyall arrived thursday evening to collect his son, and, based on his exhaustion, opted to disapparate to their home in Northumberland instead of risking losing the boy in the floo network. The family had been on schedule to move when Remus left for Hogwarts, but because they were so isolated here, and because he was away for most of the year-not making sounds to arise suspicion, it was likely here that they would remain here for the foreseeable future.

Father hiked son up into a fireman's carry, and hiked through the deep snow to the cottage that glowed welcomingly at the end of the lane.

 


	21. Instinct

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What happens when you add worry, stress, and a lack of answers to an overprotective werewolf?

**Disclaimer: Why would I willingly spend money on a program that has ridiculous mandatory hours and zero breaks if I could make money writing?**

**7 January 1973**

With the new year came the inevitable return to school. Platform 9 ¾ was  _almost_  as busy as it had been in September, but not quite. Hope and Remus had had to take the Knight Bus from their village to the station, as Lyall had been called off for a job, but Remus wasn't really thinking about the fact that he'd not be seeing his parents for another few months.  _I see Peter, James -so Sirius is here, but no Rom so far. DAMN. the train leaves in ten minutes…_

Hope pulled her son from his frantic searching with a hand on his shoulder, and leaned over- not down really, at least not much- and whispered in his ear. "I'm sure he'll show up, but you should maybe stop sniffing the air for him."

In an instant, Remus went from pale to pink.

"Of course I know about it, you practically get dragged by your nose when the time comes." she chided as her son tried to make himself as small as possible. She pulled him in for a quick hug and kiss and left him to board the train with his friends free of embarrassment.

The Hogwarts Express pulled out of the station in a flurry of 'Goodbyes', 'we love yous', and 'don't forget to wear clean underwear'. Amidst all this, the car at the end of the train sat in silence. This actually caused a few prefects to stick their heads in, because quiet from these boys was usually a pretty good indication that the shit was about to hit the fan.

Neither James nor Sirius wanted to broach the subject of Romulus, as neither had seen him on the platform, and Peter was blissfully unaware of the issue. After twenty minutes of uncomfortable silence, Peter asked the dreaded question.

"Has anyone seen Romulus?"

The question was met with Remus standing abruptly, leaving the compartment with an I need to take a walk, and a hard glare from the remaining two Gryffindors.

Remus didn't walk very far. He turned left out of the compartment, walked to the door, and stepped outside. He sat, legs hanging off the back of the train, staring down the tracks until a prefect tapped him on the shoulder and practically dragged him back inside an hour later.

"Are you alright Lupin? You look frozen, Why didn't you do up your cloak or anything?" The prefect - a Ravenclaw that Remus didn't know continued to grill him until he had warmed his hands adequately to write legibly.

Have you seen my brother? Haven't been able to find him.

"Bugger, I'm sorry, no I haven't" She frowned, realizing that she was not speaking to her housemate. "You two are like identical twins. I'll keep an eye out though."

 _Finally someone who realized we aren't twins, though if we were we'd both been here…_  Thanks. Then Remus turned and began to roam the train, grateful that the majority of students were in their own compartments. It was on his third pass up and down the cars that he noticed something was off. The last car seemed to be shorter than the rest. And was the faintest flicker in the hall at the back, and every time he stepped pat the last compartment, where his friends were watching him with concern every time he passed by, he felt the briefest period of vertigo. He shifted back and forth, trying to find where the feeling began and ended, trying to find the anomaly.

He did, and he proceeded to stumble back into the wall. Only, he didn't  _hit_ the wall. He windmilled for a few moments before tumbling down to the floor.  _What just happened? And WHERE am I?_  Remus had found himself in a large, cluttered compartment that appeared to be some sort of former kitchen. The worn hardwood counters and wood stoves were coated in a thick layer of dust. Fine particles of dirt and hair swirled up around him, displaced by his body.

Sitting up, Remus deemed himself to be in some sort of kitchen though it hadn't been used in ages. The cupboards were filled with teacups and saucers, teapots, sugar bowls, and various other items.  _I guess they used to run afternoon tea on the train, wonder if there's anything left?_

Remus continued to rummage through the cupboards until he found some viable tea, picked up a kettle, pointed his wand and thought  _aguamenti!_  Still relishing in the fact that it worked, and set the kettle on the stove. He knew he could have just warmed the water with magic, but there was something to be said about a properly made cup of tea. Plus, this way he could make it as hot and as strong as he liked.

Returning to the compartment with three hours left on the tracks, Remus knew what his parents were getting for Christmas the following year. He slid open the compartment door with his foot, cradling his steaming cup- with the Hogwarts crest intricately painted on the porcelain- and slipped into his friend's compartment.

"Remus, where have you been? We looked everywhere for you when the trolley came."

Remus said nothing, but it was not like James to give up.

"I take it you found her though? I didn't realize they served tea on the train."

Sirius noted that his roommate was still upset and switched benches to sit beside him, also giving Peter more space to snooze.

"They don't. I remember my parents ranting about how they cancelled it back when they believed I could redeem myself."

"Where did you get it if the trolley doesn't do tea?" James asked, though he didn't really care for tea.

Sirius, apparently, did. He took the cup from Remus, intending to take a drink. "SHIT, ow, BLOODY HELL REMUS!" he hollered as the teacup crashed to the floor. "Why is that so bloody hot?" He cradled his hands for a moment before determining that he should cool them off.

Remus screeched when the scalding tea landed on him, drenching his torso and legs.

Peter woke at the outburst and flung open the window in an attempt to help. It was not appreciated.

James, currently the most level-headed of the group, panicked, and acted, blurting out the first spell that came to mind.

" _Aguamenti"_

The taller two of his three roommates turned on him in an instant. ""JAMES!" Sirius's eyes had shifted from his usual rainstormy or cloudy grey to hurricane, and Remus bore into his friend with gold-flecked green. Ordinarily, the pair would be pissed about being drenched. Then again, normally was not generally on a train with the window open, snow falling, and temperatures hovering around freezing. So, while  _normally_  they would simply be pissed, they were murderous.

After drying themselves off with hot air from their wands, Remus and Sirius pounced on the only boy left in the compartment- that would be James seeing as Peter slipped out after the shower. By the time a prefect arrived to dispel the commotion-which really only took about a minute by Remus's internal clock, a clock that functioned perfectly and without failure until the moon rose; Then it took a few days to re-calibrate.

When the compartment door was flung open, Remus was pinning a beaten, but not broken, James Potter to the wall with one hand while Sirius, though also angry with his friend, stood by in awe and fear, fully prepared to get a few hits in himself.

"Twenty points each from Gryffindor for fighting, not that I would mind if you put him in the hospital." The sneering voice caught the attention of the aggressors and Remus released his grip, though James would not take his eyes off him. "Lupin, detention." With that, Lucius Malfoy, pompous Slytherin Prefect spun out of the room and strutted away.

"That bastard!" Sirius seethed at Remus, who would not and could not respond; besides, they deserved some sort of consequence.

"Twenty points each?" James, despite having been on the pummeled side of the dispute, was flabbergasted. He and Sirius began griping about the loss and planning retribution. Remus on the other hand hung his head in shame, silently closing the window, repairing his teacup, and returning to the abandoned kitchen.

He returned not ten minutes later to find James once again pinned against the wall, though this time the look of fear was replaced by one of curiosity and confusion. Sirius was apparently attempting to test his strength, and he was failing. He was resorting to using his weight as well as his strength-which as a beater was not insignificant- his arm was locked and shaking. Not to mention that the balls of James's feet were still on the ground.

Rolling his eyes in the doorway, freshly made hot chocolate in hand, Remus wrote his friends a message. Not likely.

"Not likely?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

James motioned to the door and by extent, Remus.

Still hyped on his anger-fueled adrenaline, Sirius spun to face the door, dropping James the inch to the floor. He eyed his roommate's pale frame. "Think you can beat me in an arm wrestle Remmy?"

Remus pretended to contemplate the question for a moment and set his cup down before responding. Yes

"Care to put your money where your mouth is?"

The noise had once again attracted the attention of the students, though since they were not being violent, there were no points to be deducted.

The betting pool favoured Sirius significantly, and only three of fifteen bets were placed on Remus. The students in the corridor took one look at each participant-Sirius, the broadly built beater, and Remus, with his long and lanky frame, who happened to look pale, ill, and underfed ninety percent of the time, and chose their champion.

With James as their referee, both boys lied down on the floor: right arm up, left as a stabilizer. Hands clasped, and James led the car in a dramatic countdown.

"Three, two, one, GO!"

The contest, or lack thereof, was on. Sirius immediately put all his strength into pulling down his friend's arm, figuring he would end it nice and quick.

He was in for a bit of a wake-up call, because Remus had a very different idea. As soon as James said 'GO' Remus simply clenched his muscles, locking his arm in place, so Sirius might as well have been wrestling a wall. It was only once Sirius's eyes widened in realisation of this that Remus put an end to the wrestle by quickly and smoothly forcing his friend's arm to the floor with a glimmer of triumph in his eye and a smirk on his face.

All everyone else could do was stare at the hands on the ground, speechless at the pale thin hand on top of the beefier olive one. Eighty percent of the crowd had just lost their sickles on a sure bet.

Remus stood, dusted off his already-too-short robes, and extended his hand to his beaten friend. Both standing, Remus turned to the door, took a bow, and held out his hand to James for his winnings. James was still staring at the floor where their hands had come down. Catching movement in the doorway, the three Gryffindors looked up to see two more. Lily Evans and Frank Longbottom both nodded to the competitors before holding out their own hands to James for their winnings.

* * *

The train arrived at the station with many pockets emptier that when they had boarded. Remus, not usually one to  _have_  money in his pocket was particularly pleased as he disembarked the train with two of his friends.

His smile faltered when he took his first breath of fresh air since getting drenched. Looking to his right, he found a rather cross Professor of Transfiguration. The cross look, he noted, was for him. Well, not  _just_  him.

"Black, Lupin, would you come over here please?"

Remus gulped. He could hear Sirius do the same. It was one thing to be yelled at, but when the voice calling was calm with that look.  _That_  struck fear into students.

She also had the sense to wait until the platform had cleared before tearing into them. The waiting made it worse.

"Lupin, head up to the hospital wing, your wiring is coming off." Remus nodded at her curt orders, his features washing over in relief. "You are to wait for me there."

His relief vanished, replaced with worry, shame, and perhaps terror. Slowly, Remus turned and made his way to the second to last carriage waiting for him, dreading not only his later encounter with his head of house, but also his next encounter with Madam Pomfrey.

* * *

Fortunately for Remus, the new matron was busy restocking shelves in the back and it was Nurse Biddle who met him.  _Un_ fortunately for Remus, she was apparently training Pomfrey and as such, she believed that Poppy should be the one to free his speech. Again Remus gulped. He tried to keep his eyes averted during the procedure, which was rather painful, an as he had refused to look at her, the nurse determined that no, he did not want a pain relief potion. In the end, he ended up closing his eyes while she worked. Firstly so he didn't see the mirth that he was sure to be there, secondly because he didn't think he could after his previous interaction with her.

"The muggle techniques aren't quite as accurate as ours, so i'm afraid there's a bit of offset."

Remus had opened and closed his mouth a few times as commanded, slid it back and forth, and side to side. "It feels weird" Talking felt weird, and not just because he hadn't done it for a few weeks. His mouth didn't quite move the same, and his teeth didn't line up the way they used too.

"I can break it and reset it again for you?" Laughter sparkled in her eyes, and she was struggling to keep the smirk from playing onto her face.

His eyes widened in horror and he and his cloak were out of the room before the witch could blink.

 _Shit_  he thought as he rounded the corner, leaning up against the stone.  _I was supposed to wait for McGonagall_. Remus slumped down the wall, hitting his head softly on his knees as he thought about where to go. He began hitting his head harder when he heard footsteps approaching from down the hall.

Eyes closed, he didn't notice when a shadow fell over him and a the professor in question cleared her throat.

"I do believe that I asked you to wait in the hospital wing did I not? And should you care not to  _have_  to return this evening, I suggest you you stop attempting to concuss yourself."

Remus looked up, focusing on the forehead of his head of house.

"You are allowed to speak now Mr. Lupin, the spell wore off a week ago." The pupil merely nodded, back to fearing what she had heard about the scrap on the train

"Would you rather continue this conversation here or in my office?"

With a sigh Remus stood. "Office please."

* * *

Choosing the more comfortable of the two chairs facing the desk, Remus sat and awaited his verdict.

"Would you like to explain Gryffindor House lost  _forty_  points today?"

"Malfoy overreacted."

"Remus, how many times am I going to have to tell you to  _look_  at people when you speak to them?"

"Sorry Professor." He moved his eves back to her forehead.

The professor rolled her eyes. "You are going to have to get over that someday."

Remus drew his feet up to rest on the bar under the chair.

"Now, would you care to  _explain_  why Gryffindor lost  _any_  house points today?"

"James drenched us with the window open." He was beginning to pick at a loose thread on his trousers.

"You are not generally one to lose your temper, so why, might I ask, was Mr. Potter being held up against the wall?"

"Rom wasn't on the train and his mum wants to transfer him." The look his teacher was giving him told him that that wasn't good enough. "She- We ran into each other at Mungo's. It didn't go well and she stopped Romulus from communicating with me."

"How did you know she wanted to transfer him then?" The professor hid her annoyance for the woman's intolerance, as this was what she assumed had caused the change of heart.

Remus smiled and relaxed a bit. "His step dad snuck it out of the house and mailed through muggle post."

"I see. Would you care to know that your brother is currently on his way up from dinner? At least he should be. I never can tell with that boy. Especially now that he's found the kitchens." With the last accusation, she sat higher in her seat and forced her student to look her in the eyes.

Remus snapped away as fast as he could. " _I_  didn't tell him!" He declared, looking aghast. "He'd eat all the marshmallows" was added quietly as he realized he had not been able to find any for his hot chocolate the last time he had looked.

"I was able to convince his family that he should at least stay for the rest of the year, curriculums get mixed about, and goodness knows the my American counterpart doesn't teach in a logical pattern."

Laughing softly, Remus stood to leave. "Thank you Professor."

The corner of her mouth twitched, threatening to smile. "Don't thank me yet Lupin, report here at seven o'clock Wednesday evening for your detention."

"Yes ma'am" The smile on his face flickered ever so slightly before he tore off out the door and up the stairs, turning left instead of right at the top.

"Gryffindor Tower is the other way Lupin" called the professor with a groan, half-wishing that Romulus Lupin  _did_  transfer, and that he took the rest of her second year boys with him, ridding the house of the boisterous, detention-seeking, point-sacrificing miscreants. Remus could stay though.  _He_ was usually calm, quiet, and studious. But let Isaac Rinkoski deal with the lot of them. She smiled softly at the thought of the bumbling and passive transfiguration teacher at Ilvermorny attempting to corral the troublemakers.

* * *

Remus floored it up six flights of stairs, six because he had one move on him and the most convenient detour was up and then down again, sunk into three trick steps, and very nearly made himself dizzy with the speed that he climbed the spiral staircase from the fifth floor, following sounds of students softly discussing homework. He winked at the eagle knocker that had come to life to ask him a riddle- clearly without realizing that he had caught the door with his toe.

"Lupin, but he just-"

"Isn't that-"

"Hey-"

"You can't"

Heads turned and with were shouts of protests the Ravenclaws realized that the second pale, skinny, 5'3"ish boy with sandy brown hair and sharp features that was on his way up the stairs was  _not_  the Lupin belonging to their house.

Remus barreled up the stairs to the dormitories, pausing on each landing and seeking out the scent of his almost-twin. He bumped into a fourth year on the third landing when he closed his eyes to concentrate on the slurry of smells around him.

"What are you-" The rest of his sentence was ignored as Remus pushed his way past to bound the steps to the next landing. This time he had no need to pause. It seemed, and this is before opening the door mind, that Romulus had a similar cleaning habit to Sirius because the socks could be smelt by the werewolf from the hallway.

They smelled like feet and sweat and mud and Romulus. Without taking a single second, Remus shoved his way through the door- nearly tearing it off its hinges in the process, saw the mess, and pounced on his brother's bed, pinning him to the mattress.

Two of his roommates yelped, one sat slack-jawed, and the fourth simply shrugged it off and left for the showers.

Romulus on the other hand wheezed. "Coul.. geroff?"

Remus responded by grinning widely and licking his brother's face.

Romulus spluttered and coughed before managing to shove the taller Lupin off of him. "Could you  _never_  do that again?" he exclaimed, glaring at the green eyes that wouldn't meet his blue ones.

"Sorry" Remus glanced around the room, checking to see if any Ravenclaws had noticed what had happened. Fortunately they all seemed to be either reading or scribbling away at something. "Got a little carried away. How'd you get back?"

Romulus shuddered at the question. "I hate the intercontinental floo connections." Remus shared the wince.

The pair fell into an animated discussion of their holidays and the homework that had gotten done until an irate sixth year prefect knocked on the doorjamb. "Lupin, Professor McGonagall would like to see you." he said, pointing at the boy in red-trimmed robes, "and professor Flitwick would like to see  _you_." This time the finger was pointed at the boy who actually belonged in the room. "I  _really_  hope you don't lose us any points for this Lupin."

The boys looked at each other, Remus still-much to his brother's annoyance as they had found they could communicate silently- refused to meet his eyes.

"I'd get to it, neither of them looked very happy." When the Lupins stood, the prefect that had come to fetch them turned with a smug grin on his face, and disappeared up the stairs.

All eyes were on the pair as they made their way through the common room to the door. A soft "Good luck" was muttered somewhere near the window but otherwise, they were being regarded as though they were walking to their executioners.

Romulus sighed in relief when there was no one to greet them at the door. "Thank Merlin. Hopkirk was just messing with me again."

Remus caught his shoulder as he turned to re-enter the tower. He could hear the professors speaking at the bottom of the stairs. "This is serious Rom, they made us think we were safe…"

Rom gulped, remembering when the times that their father had lulled them into a false sense of security when they were young. "Fuck."

Had it been any other occasion, a smack would have been rewarded for the language, but as it was Remus was more focused on the waves of anger that he could smell wafting off the teachers a few steps below them.

Both attempted to steel their nerves as they halted at the bottom of the steps, but peeves threw them off their game. "Ooh, are the loonies in trouble?" Remus growled softly at the poltergeist but all that seemed to do was encourage him. "They are!" He surely would've gone on for longer but professor McGonagall glared at him menacingly "Good luck Loopy loony Looney twins!" He buzzed down the hallway cackling when a wand was drawn.

They were led without a word to adjoining classrooms, where it was motioned that they separate.

Door sealed and locked, his professor motioned for him to sit. When he did, albeit grudgingly and more out of fear than the willingness to comply. For the umpteenth time that day, Remus gulped.

"Why is it always students in  _my_  house that get themselves into trouble?" Professor McGonagall took a step towards her student. You are aware that you are not permitted in the common rooms of other houses?"

"Yes" Remus responded meekly, looking at his shoes.

"Would you care to explain why you convinced Mr. Lupin to show you his house?"

"He didn't?" The questioning tone irked his professor.

"Then how is it Mr Lupin, that you managed to find yourself there?" Her hands were on her hips, wand still clenched.

Remus straightened with pride, and looked at her nose. "It was an accident." Eyebrows rose in suspicion. Now on he was on the defensive. "It was! S'not my fault the riddles are so easy." he crossed his arms and slouched in his chair.

"Do I even  _want_  to know how long Ravenclaw Tower has been compromised?"

Remus smirked. "Do you want to know how many times  _Gryffindor_  Tower has been compromised?" The eyebrows went higher and she pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. "Plausible deniability it is."

"Why might I ask did you burst in this evening?" She asked, now sounding more tired than stern.

He propped his arm under his chin and pondered the question.  _Why did I go up?_

_Trust_

_Proof_

_Because I could_

_Because I could_  would only dig him deeper, so he chose the less delinquent option

"Instinct I guess."  _Wonder where that scar on her nose came from, looks like it was a cursed blade or something…_

Her features softened. It seemed that the 'werewolf' card players with the 'protective instincts had been the correct move. He still lost points, and was given very stern reiterations of the rules regarding other houses, but no more detention.

He didn't see Rom until the following day though, He had been let odd with a warning about encouraging mischievous behaviour once the circumstances had been explained.

Neither Lupin saw it prudent to admit that they had both been in both towers on several occasions.

* * *

James and Sirius were both grilling Remus on the rules and strategies of quidditch- which he had picked up on rather quickly- and were heatedly debating the standings and statistics of the international quidditch teams when the post came in at breakfast the next day.

They were pulled from their discussion when the amplified and furious voice of aster Betts filled the Great Hall.

ROMULUS LUPIN

_HOW DARE YOU SNEAK OUT! I HAD HOPED THAT YOU WOULD EMBRACE YOUR NEW SCHOOL, BUT NO! I CAN ONLY ASSUME YOU'VE RUN BACK TO HOGWARTS TO INTERMINGLE WITH DISPARAGING CRETINS._

Romulus was cowering on his bench, his breakfast forgotten as his mother chewed him out. The  _rest_  of the students seemed to be taking her words as personal insults, but none more than for whom they were truly intended. Remus's eyes flared to gold in about a second, and he was another away from tearing over to Beaver Bank to give her a piece of him mind, but he caught Professor McGonagall glaring a warning at him so he stay put, although the strict professor looked as though she wanted to ignore her own advice.

 _I AM BEYOND OUTRAGED BY THE VILE FILTH THAT THEY ALLOW TO ATTEND THAT PLACE, AND YOU_ _WILL_   _BE AT ILVERMORNY IN THE FALL DO YOU UNDERSTAND?_

Romulus nodded in fear at the rhetorical question, all eyes in the great hall on him and the screaming letter.

_Oh, and dear,_

The calmer and quieter voice was unnerving.

_You can kiss your hopes of seeing your father over the summer goodbye._

Another voice cut into the letter.

_Rom, I'm-_

_I'll get to you next Benjamin! Study hard honey, because the school here shouldn't need to do the job of Hogwarts Professors for them._

An outraged Ravenclaw set the envelope on fire just as it began to tear itself to pieces, but the damage had been done. Romulus flung himself from the table and escaped the hall and the stares that followed.

Silence followed in his wake. Complete and utter silence. Most of the students were seething. They sat in shock and anger, meals forgotten as they stared at the door and one another. Remus made to follow, but an arm tugged him back down.

"Give him some space for a few minutes okay?"

He nodded and retook his place beside Frank Longbottom. For a few minutes at least.

Up the table, a few red-headed seventh years took it upon themselves to lighten the mood a bit and the Ilvermorny School of Witchcraft and Wizardry appeared at the front of the hall, only to be stampeded and shredded by a horde of opossums, chipmunks, and flying squirrels.

 


	22. How to Have a Shitty Week

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Quidditch, wanderings, withdrawn.

**Disclaimer:Too tired**

**14 January 1973**

"Come on Remus, put the book down!" When he didn't Sirius pried it from his hands.

Remus groaned. It was unusual for his friends to be up before ten on a Saturday.

"Remus, you promised."

The nagging had begun on Wednesday, determined to get him hooked on quidditch, James and Sirius had been unrelenting in educating their roommate on the sport, and had declared that they would lash him to the goalposts if he did not go to the match willingly.

Peter seemed the only one amongst them who understood. The difference was that Peter  _liked_  quidditch, and generally got dragged kicking and screaming to help out with pranks. It usually got someone caught.

"I said I would come, but the game doesn't start for three hours." Snatching his book back.

"Maybe we should leave him to come down on his own…"

_Thank you Peter_

James disagreed. "How do we know he won't just hide out in the library?" He smirked when Remus flopped down on his bed in frustration. "He's not leaving our sight until after the party. Besides, we have four months plus a year's worth of quidditch to teach him about."

Remus rolled over to the wall, book in his arms. Jame and Sirius grinned and sat on his bed. It's occupant turned into a ball, desperately wanting to stay inside and read until  _at least_  nine-forty five.

"Come on Remmy, give us the book." Gentle hands began to pry it from his clutches an he eventually relented, watching the book with concern to ensure that it didn't get burned or something. "I'll even let you try my broom if you come out with us now."

"What! Are you serious?" Sirius gave James the 'well duh' look. "You've never let  _me_ try it!"

Sirius scoffed. "Well of course not. You have your own."

Upon discovering in September that Sirius had received the most recent racing broom to market: a Nimbus 1001 for his eleventh birthday, James had been asking every week to try it out- despite the fact that the 1000 he had received for his tenth was still an international standard. Sirius was simply enjoying keeping the last-ditch effort his parents had made to 'correct' him to himself. The broom had been an attempt to convince him to be a proper heir. Allowed or not, it was fortunate that he had snuck it to Hogwarts with him, otherwise it would have been splinters or Regulus's.

Remus was about to inform his friends that he didn't really like flying that much based on his previous experience, but James stepped in. "You are not  _allowed_  to say no to an offer like that Remmy."

Groaning once more, Remus rolled out of bed to dress and relieve himself.

* * *

Remus was impressed to discover that he didn't actually detest flying as much as he thought he did. His limited experience on a broom was a day at Potter Manor and,  _now_  he suspected, that had been on an old and wearing broom.

Remus  _liked_  the broom that wasn't shaking and stuttering beneath him, and while he wasn't exactly a natural, he definitely picked it up pretty fast. He used the eddies that he could feel and hear in the air to pick up speed and make sharper corners.

His landing however, left much to be admired. Unsure of how to stop himself, Remus pulled back to slow down once he was over the ground, and ended up doing half of a loop-the-loop before falling off the broom at the top of the circle.

Too giddy to get up, Remus looked up at his open-mouthed friends. "That. Was AWESOME!"

Still, James and Sirius could do nothing but gape at their friend, who, until today, had been woefully incompetent at flying.

"Potter, Black, who  _was_  that? I'm tempted to offer a reserve position." Graham Dalton, Gryffindor Captain was striding across the field with a grin on his face. "Saw it on my way down."

The chaser and his fellow beater were only then snapped out of their stupour. "You didn't see the landing."

"What landing?" Remus asked, sitting up and rubbing his head.

Dalton looked between the three of them. "Potter, Black, the bookworm is coming to practice this Tuesday."

Sirius offered his hand to hoist his friend up, and James stepped forward. "The 'bookworm' has a name."

"Right, Right," Dalton said waving him off "Ravenclaw twin right? Lupin?"

The three second years answered at once.

"Yes" said James

"The one and only" was Sirius's reply, which he finished with a snort.

"Not twins." Remus muttered.

Romulus had become fairly withdrawn since breakfast on Monday. He had avoided Remus at all costs, kept his head down in class, and apparently spent all of his personal time in his dormitory where he refused to speak to his housemates.

The younger Lupin had been approached by several professors inquiring into his brother's well-being, but he had nothing to offer. The howler had hit hard, and for whatever reason, he had withdrawn from everyone. Remus was obviously anxious and worried, but he had been told by both McGonagall and Styne that whatever the issue, he needed to work through it and that Remus needed to let him.

* * *

"AND IT'S REPIER FROM RAVENCLAW WITH THE QUAFFLE" Remus winced and stuffed his fingers into his ears, cursing the bastard that bit him once more.

"REPIER PASSES TO BLOM, BUT  _POTTER INTERCEPTS_ " Remus looked up to see his friend snatch the red ball out of the air and bolt down the pitch, only to have it slip out of his hands as he barrel rolled out of the way of a bludger.

"NICE SHOT BY SIMMONS. THE QUAFFLE IS NOW ON POSSESSION OF RAVENCLAW CAPTAIN RICHARD BOOT." Remus tried to tune out the noise and volume and tried instead to watch the game.

"ARNOLD SLIPS PAST A BLUDGER FROM CAPTAIN WOOD , HE SHOOTS, AND AN AMAZING HIT FROM SIRIUS BLACK SENDS THE QUAFFLE OFF TARGET AND INTO THE HANDS OF MILLER OF GRYFFINDOR."

The crowd, understandably, went absolutely wild. Remus almost screamed. When he  _did_ , barely anyone took notice. He turned at a tap on the shoulder, Evans was sitting behind him, offering a pair of fluffy purple earmuffs, sporting an equally fluffy pink pair. He smiled softly, when they muffled the noise of the crowd. Eying her stiff and awkward posture, Remus shot a knowing glance to the greenhouses, where professor Styne was likely short a few pairs.

" **And Potter scores with a slip to the left and a dart up the sneaky lion!"**  This time, though Remus could see the crowd go wild, it was closer to elevated classroom volume. The announcer was apparently  _not_  on Gryffindor's side, though he did at least seem to have an appreciation for skill, as he called Gryffindor out when they made good plays.

Upon closer inspection, Remus noted that it was the same Ravenclaw he had met on the stairs in Ravenclaw Tower. This prompted him to look for his brother. Despite excellent sight, picking out one student in over 200 was not a feat easily accomplished, and despite careful inspection, Remus had no luck.

Another tap to the shoulder started him out of his focus, Peter was pointing excitedly at the pitch, where the Williams- a fourth year in Gryffindor- was diving for the center stands on the Ravenclaw side of the pitch.

" **Has Williams seen the snitch?"** The Ravenclaw seeker was hot on his tail and was closing fast.

" **And Ravenclaw wins 200 to 140 with a phenomenal chase made by seeker Amber Davis!"**

This time, Remus  _could_  hear the crowd go crazy, with the exception of course, of Gryffindor. After nodding his thanks to Evans, and signing that he'd return the earmuffs later, Remus left the quidditch pitch in a flash. Choosing to avoid the crowd, he made his way across the grounds along the Forbidden Forest, and to the lake for a long relaxing walk.

* * *

It started off peaceful at least. About three quarters around, he began to hear noises. Soft laughter and snorts reached his ears. He thought about turning back, but that would take much too long. Besides, it would be dark soon, and the last thing he needed was a cold going into the full moon.

He approached the rocks and bushes on high alert, listening for signs that he should definitely turn around.

"Ted stop, someone's coming!"

Remus froze. A girl with long black hair and piercing grey eyes popped her head above the bush. "Er, am I interrupting something? Because I can leave." He turned and made to retrace his steps around the lake.

The girl laughed. And a senior Hufflepuff popped up beside her looking mortified. "Lord no! Just a picnic."

Remus raised his eyebrows as though to say  _really?_  The boy, well man, Remus recognized him now as a seventh year prefect, turned red.

His apparent girlfriend studied the intruder. "You're one of Sirius's friends aren't you?" She thought for a moment "Lupin right? Starts with an 'R'. You've gotten him and his mates out of a few jams with that head of yours."

Now it was Remus's turn to go red, though it was just the tips if his ears that demonstrated the humulily, confused that she knew him.

"Andromeda Black by the way. Call me Andy; this is Ted Tonks." She gestured to her companion.

"Biscuit? Triple chocolate and somehow still warm." Ted reached down and offered a plate with a few cookies remaining. Remus brightened. There was no way that he was going to turn down  _triple_  chocolate cookies. Turning to Andromeda he said "We should probably be getting back, I have rounds after dinner."

While Ted began packing up their basket, Andromeda began to grill her cousin's friend about all the things they had gotten away with.

" _Reducio"_  Basket shrunk and in his pocket, the Hufflepuff turned to the Slytherin. "You realize I probably shouldn't be hearing this right?"

"You've kept our secret just fine. What's one more?" asked Andromeda, flicking his nose.

Ted rolled his eyes, and took the twelve-year-old on his arm, as though he were escorting him to a dance. "Come on Remus, Let's head inside."

"Remus! I knew his name started with an 'R'."

Ted threw his head back in a burst of laughter. "No credit there Andy, The other one's an 'R' too"

Andromeda, clearly annoyed at her boyfriend for not relishing in her moment of  _genius_ , began listing off names, determined to correctly identify the Ravenclaw Lupin brother. "Richard?"

Remus shook his head and withdrew his arm from Ted's, who looked slightly disappointed.

"Rodger?"

Another shake of the head.

"Regulus? No wait, I take that back, that's Sirius's brother. Robert?"

Remus shook his head again. "I feel like she should only get ten guesses."

Now it was ted's turn to shake his head. "Nah, she'd need at least twenty to get it." His head bobbed forward with the impact of a snowball and Ted sped up to get out of firing range.

"Ronald?"

Remus caught up to the Hufflepuff.

"Raymond?"

The boys kept walking.

"Ralph?"

Still no answer.

"There can't be that many names that start with 'R'"

"You ever going to tell her? Ted asked with a smirk as he dodged another fluffy projectile.

"Are you?" Remus inquired.

He chuckled. "When she begs. Or when we reach the castle, whichever comes first."

"Ross?"

They stopped by the large doors when they reached the castle. "How did your parents come up with that anyway?" Ted asked, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Founders of Rome right?"

Remus tensed at the question, but when the rest of the story was not brought up, he relaxed. "My dad and Rom's mum both enjoyed mythology. The names were actually a coincidence."

Now it was Ted's turn to give the  _really?_  eyebrow.

"Really." Remus stifled a snort when Andromeda dropped her head into her palm in recognition of the name. "Rom was born in January and my parents didn't know about him until after I was born in two months later."

Remus could see that both Ted and Andromeda had more questions, and they could see that he didn't really want to go into it further so the subject was dropped.

It was Andromeda who broke the silence, "If you could keep not getting my cousin caught, it would be very much appreciated. His parents really don't need more fuel for their fiendfyre."

"It's not Sirius's fault that he was sorted into GryffIndor" commented Remus defensively.

" _I_  know that, but now that they have Regulus to be their golden boy, Sirius needs to keep his head down."

Remus nodded uncomfortably.  _Keep your head down means behave and don't draw attention. Antonym: Sirius Black._

"Speaking of keeping heads down," Andromeda looked relieved that Ted remembered to bring this up. "Could you not mention this to anyone? I'm something of a forbidden fruit?"

He received a punch in to the shoulder from his girlfriend and a nod from Remus.

* * *

Monday was particularly stressful. Add a nearly full moon to a new defense professor, pop quiz, a potions project that Remus did not understand in the slightest, and you get a restless hyperactive twelve-year-old werewolf. Throw in the fact that Romulus seemed to have withdrawn completely and had not been seen since the previous day, and you get a a distracted, paranoid, and stressed out Remus Lupin.

He had been approached by Professor Flitwick at the end of the day to see if he might be able to see what was wrong, and had been granted temporary permission to enter Ravenclaw Tower to do so, but his brother refused to speak to him.

* * *

By Wednesday evening, Romulus had yet to come out, and he had not spoken to anyone.

Remus was convinced that something was wrong, but there was nothing that he could do about it from the shack near Hogsmeade. It was sure to be a rough night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, everything I have is up for now.   
> The referenced aviator from chapter 19 was Andrew MYNARSKI VC, his story is impressive-also the name of one of the only two airworthy Lancasters on the planet.


	23. Down the Rabbit Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The full moon has risen, and s few residents of Hogwarts are missing their friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has a better idea for a chapter title, let me know. This one kind of stinks. But now, on with the story

**18 January 1973**

Minerva McGonagall sat at her desk marking a rather poor attempt at a NEWT level essay on human transfiguration when there was a knock at her door.

“Enter.”

The door opened to reveal one of her second year students. “Ms. Evans, what can I do for you this evening?” the professor asked, clearing the frustratingly pitiful essay from her desk and gesturing at the chair opposite. 

The Gryffindor entered somewhat timidly and sat in the offered seat. “I was wondering where Remus went.”

McGonagall tensed slightly, though one would have to be well-acquainted with her to notice. “Did he not tell you? He has an appointment at the Abasi Medical Research Facility.”

The girl gave her professor a pointed look, and then shifted her eyes to the full moon that illuminated the dark grounds. 

The implication was clear, but McGonagall was not one to give up so easily. “He attends a bi-monthly experimental clinic for a chronic illness. I’m sorry Ms Evans, but I am not at liberty to divulge the personal information of students.”

Evans sat back in her chair, unconvinced. “I didn’t know that Abasi was researching a cure for lycanthropy.” Apparently tiptoeing was not accepted by McGonagall, so blunt it was. “Or is there some other recurring ailment that presents every full moon in the wizarding world?”

This time, the professor’s composure faltered. “Where did you get that impression?”

Evans rolled her eyes. “I have eyes and unlike the rest of my year in Gryffindor, I read.” With a stern look from her teacher, the statement was amended. “Okay, so Remus can read too. Is he?”

“Is he what Ms. Evans? A well-read student? Creative? Intelligent? An occasional menace to Mr. Filch?” McGonagall had folded her hands on her desk, searching her student’s face for a reaction, an indication that this theory would spread.

Evans took a deep breath to steel herself for the question she was about to ask, and the answer she might receive. “A werewolf.” she said quickly. “Is Remus a werewolf?” 

For several awkward moments, nothing was said. With a deep sigh, Professor McGonagall gazed out the window. “I’m afraid that is something you would have to ask Mr. Lupin.”

The girl nodded slowly, thinking about what she had discovered, though not exactly confirmed. “Thank you professor, I’m sorry for taking your time.”

“Not at all Ms. Evans, however, please keep your thoughts to yourself.”

With a nod, the girl left, closing the door as quietly as she could on her way out, leaving the professor to resume reviewing horrid assignments.

* * *

 

“Did you check the library?”

Sirius cringed.

“You can go in there you know, it’s not like the books will hurt you or anything.”

“That’s what you think.” There was a reason that Sirius didn’t like libraries. He tolerated books, but libraries were not somewhere he enjoyed reading, on the rare occasion that he picked up a book. Books that screamed, threw themselves at you, and tried to bite and curse you could do that to a person, and James was fortunate enough to live somewhere that didn’t try to maim him in a regular basis.

“Yes, I checked the library okay?”

“Sirius, did  _ you _ check the library, or did someone check the library  _ for  _ you? Do you know how many hiding spots he has in that place?”

The Black heir sunk down on the sofa that he had claimed for himself. “Madam Pince is a hawk okay? She could tell me who was there with more accuracy than I could count.”

“Fine. Not in the library. Now we just wait for Peter to get back from checking the kitchens.”

As if on cue, the portrait hole opened to reveal the portly boy with watery blue eyes and straw-coloured hair. Peter dragged his feet over the the fire, shoved Sirius’s feet off the couch, and kicked off his sneakers and flopped down.

Sirius’s fingers went straight to his nose. “Peter! Put your feet back on and get your shoes out of my face!”

“Don’t you mean-”

“Peter, your feet are so pungent that they’re confusing him, go have a bath in Mrs. Skowers.” For that, James got a smelly sock to the face. “UGH! That’s disgusting! It’s been on your foot for three days!”

A prefect from across the room gave a sigh of dismay and approached the brewing argument, determined to shut it down. “Pettigrew, go have a shower, and  _ please _ don’t make me write your mother.” 

James and Sirius started snickering as Peter scampered up the stairs. 

“You two don’t smell much better from quidditch. I suggest you join him.”

“What? And remove the evidence of all my hard work?” Sirius asked, flashing the prefect a grin. 

“Don’t make me write your mother too Black” She threatened in a tired voice, clearly fed up with babysitting her younger housemates- one of whom had crossed his arms and turned on his rebellious smirk.

“Now he’s never going to bathe!” whined James, throwing his arms in the air, only to stand, take a whiff of himself and head towards the stairs. 

Now the center of attention all by himself, Sirius opted to follow his friends up to the dorm. “I’m not going to have a bath,” he called down, “I have plans to make!”

A collective groan from the students of Gryffindor house resonated up the stairs.

* * *

 

Sirius sat against the far wall of the bathroom, listening through the sounds of water falling to converse with his roommates.

“Where could he be if he’s not in the library or the kitchens? I checked the infirmary too.” James called over the water.

“Ravenclaw maybe?”

“Doubt it Pete, Minnie made it pretty clear that he wasn’t allowed up there.”

“The Ravenclaws don’t exactly let him slip by anymore anyway.” Sirius added. 

“He’s never in detention, wasn’t in the hospital wing, wouldn’t be in Ravenclaw Tower for long, and he’s never out long after curfew. It’s almost like he is his own clock, because I’ve never seen him wear a watch”

“That about sums him up, yeah.”

“Then where the bloody hell is he?” James demanded, turning off the water.

“Does anyone else hear that?” Peter had stopped humming to himself.

“Hear what Peter?” James’s voice was muffled by the towel that had just been dragged out of sight.

“No, I hear it too. Why is someone knocking on our door.”

“Here’s an idea mate: since  _ you’re  _ the only one dressed, why don’t  _ you _ go find out?”

With an irritated groan, Sirius stormed out of the bathroom and flung open the door. “Evans? What do  _ you  _ want?”

Standing up straight, she tilted her head back and looked him daringly in the eye. “Well, if you don’t want to know where Remus is, I can always leave.”

“No, I take it back, I’m sorry.” he pleaded catching her arm as she turned away. “Where’s Remus?”

“He had a last-minute appointment at the Abasi Medical Research Facility in Edinburgh.”

“Wasn’t he just there last month?” Sirius asked, dropping her arm.

“How am I supposed to know? Aren’t you the one who lives with him?”

“Who was it?” James asked, coming out of the bathroom.

“Evans came to grace us with her presence.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “I came to tell you oblivious pigs where your friend was.”

“Oblivious?” Sirius asked in an incredulous tone, “You yell at us about cleanliness and yet you sit beside Snape on a regular basis.”

“Of course I tell you to bathe! You two and Peter especially could knock out a room full of people with your stench!”

Sirius crossed his arms. “At least we would just knock them out. I’m fairly certain that someone could die of disease should they brush hands with  _ Snivellus _ .”

He didn’t see the fist coming. 

Peter came back to find the door open, and his roommates standing by the door, completely dumbstruck. Before he could begin to ask what happened, Sirius’s face turned from shock to anger.

“She  _ hit  _ me!”

“It was beautiful” Peter and James whipped their heads around to stare at James.

“What?” Sirius asked, taking a step forward.

James continued to stare at the stairs beyond the door where he had last seen the retreating red hair, occasionally flicking back into the room to admire the pink mark she had left on Sirius’s prominent features.

The boys who were mentally present shared a concerned glance. Had he ingested a potion of sorts, because Evans definitely wouldn’t give him a love potion. Did they need to take him to the hospital wing? Lock the door and restrain him?

When, after ten minutes, he had yet to do anything but ruffle his damp hair, he was deemed harmless, and Sirius and Peter went to bed, Bathing their friend in the bright moonlight after the lights had been extinguished.

* * *

 

As much as he really didn’t want to face the school, and as much as he was trying to avoid his brother, he  _ had _ to leave the room tonight. Not  _ his _ room in Ravenclaw Tower, but the one he had discovered on the seventh floor across from the tapestry of a hideous and crazed man. There had been too many questions, questions that he didn’t want to answer. There had been more to that letter than just a Howler and he knew it. He could  _ feel _ it. His mother had put some sort of enchantment into it, and somehow he couldn't get anywhere near Remus without his feet taking him in a different direction, whether he was supposed to be there for class or not.

It was infuriating. Like a magically binding restraining order against someone who never did anything to deserve it. What’s worse was that he knew how it was affecting his brother. At first, his roommates thought nothing of it, but as the days of distance between the two went on, they could plainly see how it was affecting the Gryffindor. Simmons and MacArthur had brought forth their concerns, and all Romulus seemed to be able to say about the matter was “I don’t want to talk about it.”

But he knew. He knew that Remus was worried, his instincts had already gone haywire when they hadn’t met on the train. Romulus suspected that, like many aspects of his brother’s personality, those instincts would be drawn closer to the surface and amplified leading up to the full moon. It was hard to stay away, and the stronger he felt that, the further he was.

On Sunday, he had had a bit if a mental break. He had had to take an unbelievingly long detour to get to his dorm simply because his Gryffindor equals were a floor below, and said detour had landed him on the seventh floor.

On the seventh floor in front of a tapestry of a cranky old coot. Romulus escaped his disgruntled ramblings by way of a cozy room across the corridor.  What he found was a warm and spacious room lied with books and a comfortable looking couch.

He’d all but moved in. It was getting to be too much to keep dodging his brother and his friend’s questions. He couldn’t take it anymore.

_ Until today. Tonight specifically. _ There was a half-formed plan and Aster Betts could bugger off, because now Romulus was worried about Remus, and there was nothing that was going to stop him from being there because he had been too much of a wimp to try until now.

He’d slipped silently down five floors before Filch’s monster that he called a cat came prancing up the hall. In a panic, he’d flung himself behind a suit of armour and practically fallen down a chute. Fear for life over, and Filch gone, he continued to the hospital wing, took the second bunk from the back-where Remus usually ended up- and fell into a fitful sleep, though it was the best he’d slept in days.

* * *

 

Romulus woke in the morning before the infirmary doors were even open. He could feel his muscles trying to move him out, move him away, but the Ravenclaw had had the forethought to use a body bind curse on himself before he crashed several hours previously. 

Worry began when he opened his eyes. By the amount of natural light it had to be after eight, and that was well  _ after _ moonset by hours. All that he managed to catch was a glimpse of his brother’s mangled form before the curtains were drawn, but that had been enough. He felt like he was going to be sick. Remus had never looked this bad before-he’d snuck in every month just to check on his little brother, and this month, he almost regretted it.  _ Almost. _

Lost in horrific thoughts, Romulus didn’t notice the figure at the foot of the bed he had chosen to occupy.

“Would you care to explain how you managed to make it here with a body bind curse? Or would you rather tell me why you sauntered in after curfew and put it on yourself?”

Madam Pomfrey didn’t sound annoyed by this, rather, amused. When he sensed a wand was raised, he panicked. 

“Don’t make me leave!”

The matron frowned. “I wasn’t planning to, not until your classes start at least. I was merely going to remove the bind”

Romulus took a deep breath, fully prepared to be defaulted to ‘I don’t want to talk about it’. “Please, if I can move again” there was a stutter as his mouth tried to speak different words, but he fought through. “I’ll have to leave.”

She frowned.

“I just want to be with my brother.”

The young woman must have seen something pleading in his eyes because she ducked behind Remus’s curtain and, after a hushed conversation, Nurse Biddle came out with an angered frown upon her face. She took one look at his imploring gaze, and her expression hardened. In an instant her wand was drawn and sliding back and forth over him, searching for residual magic. She furrowed her brow, then she left, only to return moments later

“Mr. Lupin, I am going to have to remove the body bind to examine the residual traces.”

Romulus's eyes bugged.

“Which is why you are going to drink this paralytic, it will have the same effect without seizing your muscles or interfering with the tracing.” With the sweet-smelling potion at his lips, he drank, then his limbs flopped as the rigidity caused by the spell was released.

Recasting of the analytical spell only furrowed her brow further. She didn’t know what it was. It was deeply embedded, and had been there for awhile. She just couldn’t pick it out.

“Mr Lupin, If you would like to go to your classes, we will work out a way to solve the issue, and you will be apprised of any changes to Remus’s condition.

Romulus provided the small nod of acceptance of which he was capable in his current state. 

“Excellent.” She wrote out a short note, whispered  _ geminio _ scrap of parchment and tucked them  in his pocket. “Please pass that along to professors Leeder and Flitwick, and report to the staff room at lunch.”

Again, the orders were met with the slightest of nods, and a potion was poured into his mouth to reverse the effects of the previous one.

“Remus will be fine, it’ll just take time” she consoled as his legs propelled his reluctant body out the door.

* * *

 

Professor Styne’s face lit up when the complete class of Ravenclaw second years entered greenhouse two for their thursday lesson with the Slytherins. As the students filed into the class, their curious questioning of the Lupin boy ceased, by his presence, or Lupin’s stony face, he did not know. 

His good mood ended when the Slytherins flocked to the same table as the Ravenclaw. It started off without issues. Each student kept to themselves as they gathered and planted their fluxweed sprigs. It was not until Romulus was forced to request fertilizer from the other end of the table that problems began to arise. He never did get the fertilizer into his tray.

“Finally decided to make an appearance Lupin?” sneered Avery.

“One disappears and the other pops up. Is that how it works?” Mulciber quipped.

“Afraid of our reflection are we? Is it safe to come out and play once your little doppelganger leaves the building? Good thing you weren’t a Gryffindor.” Snape taunted.

But it was Avery’s next comment that made the Ravenclaw snap.“Maybe he won’t come back, then next year we won’t have to deal with  _ either _ of you half-blooded twerps.”

Walter Styne could see the threads unravel. Romulus Lupin may be energetic and easily distracted, but he was not generally one to retaliate. Not publically at least. This was apparently the exception.

With a mighty leap, he lunged over the table and wrapped his hands around his classmate.

In the short time that it took for professor Styne to dodge around the desks and pots that covered the floor, the students from the surrounding tables had formed a tight ring around the fight. All it took to break the two apart was a pronounced clearing of the throat and a scalding glare.

The two looked up uncertainty from the dirt floor of the greenhouse to their professor who was staring them into the floor. Neither had sustained more than what would surely become ugly bruises, and as such, Styne believed that there was no need to send them to the hospital.

He had a better plan. “I happen to know that neither of your heads of house are teaching at the moment.”

The boys gulped. “Why don’t you pay them a visit?”

Snape opened his mouth to protest on behalf of his housemate, but was caught before he could make a sound. 

“I will not tolerate fighting in my class  _ or _ in the hallways.” Avery and Lupin were glaring daggers at each other. “You want to meet up over the holidays, that’s your prerogative. You should find your heads in the staff room.”

Neither moved, though the horde of onlookers had long since backed off. “That meant go.”

Romulus hung his head, gathered his things, and walked with  purpose to the castle. The purpose being- get away from Avery. Avery was in no such hurry.

He stumbled around a suit of armour and yanked hi foot out of a trick step that he had never had issues with before, only to have his hand swatted away from the staff room door as he was about to knock. 

“Password?”

“Students don’t have the password, therefore students do not gain entry.”

Romulus was about to protest the gargoyles that guarded the door, but they simply kept at it.

“He did before.”

“He was taller then.”

“How can someone become shorter?”

“Chop his legs off?”

“He still has both legs”

“Old age?”

“Looks twelve to me.”

“Thirteen” Romulus corrected with indignance. 

“What is thirteen dear boy? It is a very powerful number.”

Romulus turned back to the door to find professor Slughorn’s belly extruding from it. “I am Sir.”

“Ah, the early years of adolescence” he chortled with a nostalgic glaze over his eyes. “Thirteen, that would make you the older Lupin boy? Forgive me if for forgetting your first name, there are too many to lean.”

Romulus nodded uncomfortably. “I understand Sir. Not a problem.”

“Good, good” he paused, as though realizing that it was during teaching hours and that it was unusual for students to come knocking at the teacher’s lounge. “What can I do for you?”

Romulus toed the ground, glancing around the wide belly and into the room beyond. “I was looking for Professor Flitwick sir.”

Looking a little put out that the student had not wanted to speak to his excellence, Horace Slughorn, the large man retreated into the room slightly. “Fillius, you have a student to see you.” 

Slughorn began to return to his seat, and Romulus remembered who was supposed to be following him. “Avery should be here shortly sir.”

“Why would both you  _ you _ and Mr Avery need to visit the staff room in one day?” inquired an irritated voice from below.

Romulus started. He had not heard the tiny professor approach, nor had he seen him do so. 

“Or do we need to be taking this to my office if Mr Avert will be arriving as well?"

“Yes please Professor.”

* * *

 

With a sigh, the charms professor waved his wand to gather his marking and began toward his office. “Very well Lupin.”

“You haven’t had a very good streak since returning from the holidays. Care to explain yourself?” flitwick asked once they had settled into his office.

He wanted to, really, he did. But he couldn’t. Not again at least; the spell seemed to have strengthened itself since this morning. So, after opening and closing his mouth several times with no words coming out, he resorted to “I’d rather not.” Drilling the betrayal of his vocal chords into his professor. Then he presented the note from Nurse Biddle. He didn't know what was written on it, but whatever it was softened his Head’s expression.

“This does not excuse your actions today. I would like an explanation no matter how unacceptable it may be.”

Romulus hung his head. “Can’t I just say I’m sorry and I know it was wrong?”

The half-goblin offered a small smile of understanding, but in his eyes it could be seen that, no, that would not do. “I would accept that  _ as well as _ a reason for your actions”

“The Slytherins were being rude. They were insulting my family.”

The professor took a breath.  _ Of course it was the Slytherins. _

“Avery crossed a line.”

“What line would that be?” Flitwick asked after a brief pause.

“They can’t seem to wait to get rid of me, and they hope Remus doesn’t come back.”

Another deep sigh. Frustration crept up on the professor, but he kept it at bay. “Nevertheless-”

“I shouldn’t have hit him.”

With a chuckle, Flitwick waved him out of his office. 

Now, Romulus was not about to complain about being let off, but his surprise bled onto his face. 

“Because you know you were wrong. I’ll see you at lunch.”

* * *

 

Romulus didn’t stick around for lunch, he simply popped in to grab a sandwich and headed off to the Charms office. From  the spurts of conversations he had heard, and the looks he was getting from the Slytherin table, he suspected that the school-wide topic of conversation would be how the second scrawniest boy in second year had managed to come out of an altercation with Slytherin’s reserve beater, who had the position based solely on his size.

Romulus tried not to think about what was happening in the great hall, and focused instead on what he hoped to happen by this evening. He was interrupted from his hopeful thoughts when his feet made a u-turn without his permission when he made to walk past the hospital wing on his way to see professors Flitwick and Leeder. 

He let out a groan of annoyance and frustration and began to work his way through the corridors the long way.

When he did finally arrive in the office, the Charms and Defence professors were waiting. They sat him down and closed the door. After a quick explanation of what he was about to do, Professor Leeder drew his wand and began murmuring as he passed it over his student. 

His frown deepened as more and more time elapsed. “This is like a tangled web, I can’t make heads or tails of it unless I pluck at the strings.”

Romulus and his head of house swiveled their heads around to look questioningly at the curse-breaker turned teacher. 

“Meaning what? Should we wait for Amalia?” 

“She’s busy with another patient. Seems to have run into a few complications” He studied the invisible web once more, feeling the layers with his wand and completely oblivious to the fact that his subject had all but begun hyperventilating. “I’ll just find the smallest thread, that should be the weakest, and work my way from there.”

Romulus nodded, whatever would let him out fastest. 

Flitwick seemed more hesitant, he had noticed the uncertainty in Leeder’s tone.He was going to suggest fetching Poppy at least, but Leeder steeled his face, and began to work. 

_ This feels weird _ thought Romulus as his professor worked. He could feel things tightening, pulling in different parts of him. He shivered when the first unraveled, s aking it’s way around his head. 

“There’s one down. You should be able to think more clearly now.”

Then he felt something else pull harder. It caught on something, likely Leeder based on the startled expression that flickered across his face. Then it rebounded. It was pulling and twisting around his insides and Romulus let out a cry of pain. 

Now the professors were worried for sure. Leeder tried to calm the reacting magic within Romulus’s body as the boy squirmed in pain. 

“Fillius, can you hold him still? I need to find the underlier.” A pair of bony hands pushed down on the student, stilling him, but not calming the cries of pain that were his organs being twisted and snaked through by the magic tendrils that were latched inside him.

“I think I got it, this should reverse all but the primary enchantment.” The new defense professor was working as calmly and as quickly as he could, considering that if he screwed up, it wouldn’t just be a building imploding, or an artefact being buried. It would be more like the traps in curse breaking, except that it Romulus hadn’t signed up for it.

With a whispered spell, All Romulus’s pain flooded out from his body, replaced by a lovely state of bliss. 

Then, in that peacefully blissful state of being, the world faded out and Romulus could do nothing but smile.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cliffhanger sorta? Sorry, but not really. Comments, questions, concerns, ideas, conundrums, queries, suggestions, criticisms? Please let me know. Until next time,   
> One Eyed-Wolf, OUT, 16 Dec/18


	24. Blind Obedience

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm impressed that this got done, because being home for the holidays isn't very relaxing. You are all lucky I had several hours to kill babysitting.
> 
> BETA WANTED: if you or someone you know is interested PM me and we'll sort out the details.
> 
> Disclaimer:If I was getting money from this, there would be no studying which would mean failing. I definitely didn't fail.

**19 January 1973**

_Out, out, must get out_...

His head slammed against something hard, over, and over, and over.

_Pack needs help..._

Claws raked across walls and floors.

_Danger, danger must get out…_

Teeth dug into stuffing.

_Must protect the pack…_

Splinters of wood scattered the bar-less cage.

_Can't get out! Can't get out_

Teeth gnawed on paws.

_Smell, magic, wreaks_

Claws sank into flesh.

A howl rippled through the building.

Insides lurched, then there was nothing.

* * *

Amalia Biddle was used to treating students who fell ill, off their brooms, and subject to accidents and pranks. She was still getting used to having a twelve year old in her wing with rather serious 'self'-inflicted wounds.

And she had been woefully mentally unprepared for this particular monthly incident. It seemed that the Lycanthrope's state of mind leading up to the transformation played a significant role in the actions of the wolf. Remus had been anxious and agitated all week.

 _I wonder if the werewolf is confused by such emotions_  she mused to herself as she changed the dressings on her patient's legs and arms.

They had been badly scratched, and if the state of the sitting room in which he had been found was any indication, that was what the beast inside the boy did when it had exhausted other avenues of expression. His hands would scar; the deep puncture wounds from canine teeth had damaged some tendons and ligaments in his hands and wrists. They had, foutunately, missed the major veins that ran through the area.

Legs were merely scratched, though deeply in some cases. The boy had responded well enough to the blood-replenishing potion that he had been dosed with, but the real concern was the head injury.

Remus had managed to concuss himself into unconsciousness in his primary form. Usually, he stirred at least long enough to beg to be sent back to class. It was now going on seven hours since the moon had set, and he had yet to make any indication that he was alive other than the fact that his heart was still beating and his lungs were still breathing. Both were somewhat erratic.

Already running late for her appointment with the other Lupin boy and professor Leeder, Amalia was going to leave the boy in the capable hands of her apprentice, Poppy Pomfrey

And then the thrashing had begun.

Poppy had rushed in in a fit fifteen minutes earlier, concerned that the poor boy at the back of the wing was seizing, The pair had fought to calm their thrashing patient, and had had to request that Professor Leeder continue without them. A patient complication was more important than medical curiosity,

With the flailing limbs somewhat subdued, and the area cushioned- it would do more harm to have his muscles fire and tear themselves from the bones should be be fully restrained- healer and apprentice observed the patterns of the amber-flickering to green and back eyes flitting to and fro beneath the eyelids.

It seemed to be another nightmare. They were common enough in Remus, based on the few occasions he had come to the infirmary to rest before heading out to the Willow. But those lasted mere minutes, and he could always be woken.

This was different. It had been fifteen minutes, and there seemed to be no relenting.

Calming draughts could be risky. They were addictive and tended to mix poorly with other potions. It was also a last resort for an unconscious patient.

But he was in pain, that much was obvious, and from the expressions generally worn when awakened from such dreams, the pain in this case was physical as well as emotional.

Pomfrey had no sooner been sent to fetch the draught when he stilled.

Suddenly. Eerily.

There was no tuning down. No indication whatsoever.

It was as though the cords on a marionette had been cut, and Remus crumpled.

Arms and legs dropped haphazardly in the tangled blankets layering him from the cold.

"What happened?" Poppy had returned with the no-longer-necessary Calming Draught.

"He just stopped" the nurse said softly, snapping her fingers "like that"

The apprenticing matron mirrored her mentor's expression. Calmly stopping was okay. Gradually stopping was okay.  _Suddenly_  stopping was  _never_  a good sign,

Vitals were within acceptable limits, and the pain had erased itself from his face. He seemed as fine as he'd get.

The door banged open moments later. "Amalia,,," The tiny man wheezed out, attempting to regain his breath. "Something's gone wrong"

"Poppy, keep an eye on Remus"

There was barely a nod before Nurse Biddle hustled down the corridor after the Charms Professor.

* * *

Holden Leeder stared at the boy who sat limp in the chair in front of him, panicking himself into a tizzy. Filius had already rushed off to fetch Biddle, but that had left the new defense professor to sit with the thirteen year old that he feared he had damaged irreparably. He had been squirming in pain and discomfort as the threads of magic binding him were unraveled, which was understandable. It  _would_  be rather uncomfortable to have magical tendrils or cords sliding around inside one's body.

But he had almost had it sorted. It was so close, and then, he had gotten caught on one, drawn to it almost, and then it had recoiled. Lupin had spasmed as the magic reverberated through his nerves, and then, nothing.

The other threads of magic winding through the boy's body had fallen as instantaneously as he had stilled.

He was alive, Holden needn't be in the healing profession to discern that much, but in his forty years of curse-breaking, he had never seen anything react quite like this. Generally, there was a fade out, or extremely erratic behaviour, or a heavy object that caused such unconsciousness. He couldn't make heads or tails of the situation, and was unwilling to mess around trying until he had a professional 'go ahead' from Amalia Biddle.

He knew that she was busy, and he had heard enough whispers and mixed looks of concern and pitly shot out by the staff to assume what with.

Leeder was pulled back to the present by professor Flitwick's winded words drifting in from the corridor.

"He was squirming and then, it just stopped. We've no idea what happened."

Biddle and the tiny professor strode into the room, and Amalia's expression dove from worried to confused apprehension."Let's get him up to the hospital wing."

Leeder turned to Romulus and sighed and pointed his wand at the limp form, levitating him in a supine position. "I don't suppose you could get up now do you?" he asked, in a vain attempt to lighten the mood.

What  _nobody_  was expecting was compliance.

Romulus rolled awkwardly to his feet, bouncing himself off the floor before standing up properly.

All three adults stared in shock at the Ravenclaw who now stood before them. They looked briefly towards one another before returning their eyes to the boy who stared blankly at the back wall.

Leeder flicked back to Flitwick. "Get out. All I had do do was ask?"

"Lupin, where do you think you're going?" exclaimed the nurse as she followed her patient out the door.

The professors were quick to follow. Flitwick was out the door first, followed by Leeder.

"Lupin, come back!"

"Romulus,  _stop!_ "

Romulus Lupin stopped, dead in his tracks, in the moddle of the corridor. The nurse, plowed straight into him.

He didn't flinch.

Flitwick and Leeder shared another look, this one was of curiosity and intrigue, Flitwick spoke first. "Lupin, turn around please."

Romulus did nothing.

"Lupin, come here." Leeder asked somewhat timidly, uncomfortable with the prospect that the boy would once again react without a single thought. The concerns were well warranted; Romulus turned on his heel and walked smartly up to his professor, halting directly in front of him.

Another look to Flitwick, silently asking for permission to try again, an attempt to calm nerves.

The half-Goblin merely shrugged. The shrug was met with a gentle glare and a mutter of "fat lot of help that is" before the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor returned to his pupil. "Sit down" he asked softly.

Lupin sat in a manner that was anything but. He practically pulled his legs out and dropped. Sacrificing comfort and grace for speed.

"Stand up"

Apparently the boy would only listen to Holden Leeder.

"Squawk like a chicken?" He asked, desperately hoping to be ignored.

In a scramble of arms and legs, the teen was on his feet with his arms tucked up, strutting up and down the corridor pecking at the floor and clucking like a chicken.

"HOLDEN LEEDER!"  _oops, forgot about Amalia._  "This is a  _school_ , at which  _you_ are a  _teacher_  and  _Lupin_  is a  _student_!"

Filius was struggling to contain his own amusement; now was  _definitely_  not the time.

She was still glaring daggers at the pair of them and it was not until she raised and eyebrow and inclined her head down the hall that they realized their patient was heading in the direction of the great hall.

"Lupin come back!" called Leeder, grimacing once more at the mindless obedience that was portrayed.

With the rogue student once again within range, the quartet headed down to the infirmary to at least have a more comfortable place to sort this matter out.

* * *

"Lie down kid." commanded tiredly, gesturing to the open bed at the back of the room, beside his brother and the wall.

Safely in the privacy of the office off the hospital wing, Holden grabbed fistfuls of hair and groaned, collapsing himself down to his knees in the process. "Why is it that the only student who listens to me acts like he's under the Imperius Curse?!"

Dead silence followed, then eyes locked as a theory formed.

"Shit."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N Again, Beta/ideas/requests/suggestions=PM, PLEASE.
> 
> Hope everyone has a merry christmas or happy hanukkah or whatever you celebrate.   
> Also, the holidays will either mean I will get a lot of writing done, or very little, could go either way so don't be surprised if I'm late or absent the last Sundays in December  
> One Eyed Wolf, OUT 23 Dec. 2018.


	25. Encounters With Aurors

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Lupins brothers are stuck in hospital and aurors are afoot in the castle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It happened! I was going to use the three hour car ride to my cousins' on boxing day to type away at this story and then out new Vinyl Cafe discs got put in, and how can I say no to 'Dave and the Vacuum'. I can't. Then I got roped into coaching a race at the last minute this weekend, but it's here! Chapter 25 is here!  
> Disclaimer: nope, nada, not mine if you've heard of them before.

**19 January 1973**

Light once again filtered in through Remus's eyelids when he woke from the nap that he had been forced to take, and as annoyed as he was about being told to take a nap as though he were four, he really did feel better. The bustle from earlier had subsided, so Remus could only assume that the professors had left the infirmary.

 _Come to think of it, that was probably why Biddle made me take a nap. The pair of them don't seem to think that I can control myself when it comes to Rom._  He took one more deep breath- all the way in then all the way out. Breathing was easier now since he had been propped up, this kept his airway more open.  _I wonder if they're not wrong?_  Then he opened his eyes.

 _Then_  he nearly jumped off his bed. His eyes were still blurry so he couldn't see clearly, but there was a figure in black robes sitting beside him It was too small to be McGonagall, Styne, or Dumbledore- plus, Dumbledore never wore plain robes, and the absence of colour in the cloth The black also ruled out Nurse Biddle and her trainee who would be holding his brother in similar captivity. That left a student. His eyes cleared more. A student with robes trimmed in red. A Gryffindor.

His heart rate went haywire and his breathing was approaching hyperventilation. _No, Oh no. No no no no no! How did I let this happen! I knew it might, but not so soon. I don't want to go._ A silent tear began to roll down his cheek.  _I like it here. I finally had friends that aren't just nice to me because the teacher told them to be. They'll hate me..._ Another silent tear rolled leaked out.

"REMUS!"

His attention snapped back to the present, to the hands that gripped his shoulders-which he now remembered were bare , and to the voice that sounded so familiar.

He took another breath and allowed his mind to clear as much as it could in his present situation.

 _Evans is here. Evans is sitting in front of me, in the hospital wing._ Lily  _Evans has her hands on my shoulders!_  In a rush he realized the implication of that particular fact. He was less concerned that a  _girl_  was touching him- and that he had nothing on under the sheets because the bandages chaffed too much when there were additional layers, and was more concerned about exactly where her hands were on his shoulders. It started tingling, pins and needles were spreading through the scar that had marked his body for the past eight years.

His hands snapped to his sheets and he winced as he slid himself down under the covers. " _Evans?"_  His face was red and his eyes were wide with fear that she had seen the mark that stood out so much among the others. Now he  _was_  hyperventilating, and he felt like his heartbeat could be heard across the room.

Lily Evans released his shoulders when he flushed, her own face warming up. "Sorry"

Remus said nothing. He merely tried to sink further under his covers. His mind was going frantic with worry and panic as he thought about what would happen next.

_Did she come here to tell me off? To yell at me? What, does she want to dissect me or something?_

His classmate was now staring at him with curiosity, concern, and an air of rebellion. Remus tried to avert his eyes, but Lily wouldn't have it. She kept chewing her lip, trying to work up the nerve to say what she had come to say. So far she had been unable to do say anything except 'Remus' and 'sorry'.

"Remus?" She found his eyes again, and found his hand. She squeezed it gently. He gave in. There was nothing he could do if his secret had gotten out. He would have to Evans had come to confront him, and there was no way he could get out of the hospital wing to avoid what she was going to say. He took another breath and met her eyes. This was the first time Remus had looked anyone in the eyes since December. But it wasn't as if he had the strength to do anything but glare and growl. But it didn't come to that.

She'd seen his winces every time he moved, and the bandages on his arms and the bruises that covered his body. When her suspicion had begun, Lily had begun to read. Werewolves weren't covered until third year, but there were still lots of books in the library, and a short chapter in their defense textbook. Mostly, the books focused on how to identify a transformed werewolf and all the gruesome ways to kill one.

Of the dozens of texts that she had perused in the library, she had been able to amass little knowledge of what actually happened to a werewolf. From the many texts, she was able to assume that it was very painful and that there were several side effects, but otherwise the only non-killing information was how to treat wounds.

"Are you okay?" Lily asked timidly.

Remus tensed once more.  _Oh merlin, she_ does  _know…_

He was jolted from his panicked thoughts by more firmly spoken words.

"Remus! I'm still here aren't I?" her arms were crossed across her chest.

He frowned. She  _did_  know. Now he was sure. He would be packing in a few hours. Or someone else would do it for him and he'd be evicted from the hospital wing.

"Is it true then?"

Remus's breath caught in his throat.

"Am I right?" She asked, even though both knew that she was.

He was cornered. There was no way out. She  _knew_  and there was nothing he could do to dissuade her. Maybe if it was someone else, almost anyone else, he could talk his way out of the awkward situation that had presented itself. But this was Lily Evans, and the only person he knew that could get more attached to an idea or project, the only person he knew that was more stubborn, was Sirius Black. Ever so slowly, almost imperceptibly, he nodded; his eyes widened like a deer in the headlights in his fear, and his breathing resumed at a rapid pace. He'd never told anyone, not that he really met anyone before Hogwarts, but that act of admittance strained against his will and his drive to conceal the monster within.

For a long while nothing was said. Remus stared at his hands, and Lily, the window. Remus surprised himself by being the one to break the silence. "Doesn't it bother you?" he asked quietly, afraid of the answer. Afraid that she would tell the entire school. Afraid that he'd become known before he had to register at seventeen. Afraid that she'd run.

Lily thought for a moment before answering the question. Her eyes roved from the window to the bandages on Remus's arms, to his eyes that were so full of fear and anxiety. She not to lie to him. "A bit." She replied nervously, and before Remus could try to shrink further down or to open his mouth, she continued. "But it's more because I don't understand it than anything. I can't find anything in the library that actually talks about more than killing off werewolves." There was a sharp intake of breath as she realized what she had said. SHe could feel warmth rising once more in her cheeks and she began trying to ramble her way through a flustered explanation.

"I didn't mean that I want to kill you...I mean, that's all the books talked about and… there are  _so_  many ways that were described...I didn't want to read about them but…" Lily decided it was probably best to shut up before she dug herself deeper.

Her face and ears were red and her eyes wide with embarrassment over the words that had spouted from her mouth, and Remus, well Remus was laughing softly.

The embarrassment faded quickly and was replaced with confusion. "Remus are you  _sure_  you're okay? You never did actually answer the question."

Still smiling, Remus nodded. "I'm fine." Lily was not convinced. "I  _will_  be fine." He snorted once more.

"What is so funny Lupin?"

"You are probably the only person on the planet who would say anything like that."

"You being a werewolf doesn't change that you're a pretty good person, even if your friends might be gits most of the time."

Remus smiled a bit, then his expression turned serious once more. Lily frowned at the change. "It really doesn't bother you that you live in the same tower as a monster?" His hands were twisting the sheets.

"No, because you aren't a monster." she said evenly

"I-" He wondered why he was trying to explain that he  _was_  a monster, surely that would just get him out of Hogwarts faster.  _Yes, but she deserves to know that it can be dangerous to be around me._

He was prevented from continuing when her warm hand clapped over his mouth, " _No_  Remus. I won't pretend to know everything about what happens to you, but even  _Muggles_  know that it only happens one night in twenty nine." She removed his hand from her mouth and crossed her arms. "That's  _three percent_  Remus. And even less if you'd like me to calculate the hours."

Remus resigned. "So you aren't going to tell everybody? You didn't come here to mock me?"

Lily was horrified at the thought. "Lord no!" Her wide green eyes met Remus's still-nervous ones. "I came because I thought you could use someone to talk to and because I thought you might want to keep up on schoolwork."

She smiled when he did. "It's not like you'll be allowed to get up to do anything, so at least this way you won't be bored."

Remus found the stack of his books under the table, complete with this copy of  _The Fellowship of the Ring_  that he had been reading. He had started as soon as he had finished  _The Hobbit._

"We have a lunar map due in astronomy and Professor Leeder assigned us a reading on the Disarming Charm."

Remus groaned at the thought of another star chart. He could do it with his eyes closed, but every assignment in astronomy involving the moon reminded him that he'd never actually see a full one again.

_Just like Evans, straight to school._

Remus listened intently to his classmate's recitation of all he had missed and the details of the assignments he had to complete. She rambled about what had happened, and raved about how his friends had lost Gryffindor more points for some prank that they had pulled.

* * *

Two floors up and across the castle, Professor Holden Leeder was trying to explain the events of the lunch hour to a jumpy and ambitious auror trainee. "For the last time,  _I_  wasn't the one who cast the curse!"

The young man with strawberry blond hair and dark brown eyes was scrutinizing him. With a huff he crossed his arms and stared at the professor. "Right, and you expect me to believe that a letter did it?"

Leeder would have sighed or groaned in frustration, but this man's demeanour had him on edge. "That is the conclusion I have reached based on the information provided to me, yes."

"And what made you qualified to attempt to deal with this issue on your own instead of arranging for a curse breaker to do it? You could have done the boy serious harm." The trainee was twirling his wand in his fingers and was seriously trying the patience of a professor who was supposed to be teaching his sixth years defensive strategies.

Leeder's fingernails were digging into his palms as he clenched his fists tighter and tighter, trying desperately not to strike the twenty-something year old man who was leaning casually against his desk. " _I_  happen to be qualified because  _I_  happen to  _be_  a curse breaker." His words were terse and his patience was thinning.

The younger man frowned slightly at his blundered assumption, but he did not apologize. "Why did you not conduct the procedure in the presence of a trained healing professional?" He stood abruptly as the door swung silently open, his wand slightly hidden, but at the ready. "Something could have, and seems to have gone rather awry."

The defense professor ignored the fiddling and locked his glare with the young trainee. "She was rather busy with a critical patient and told me to continue without her." He flexed his fingers in a cascading motion, relieving the tension and cramping that had been building, all the while wishing that he could simply use a fist and be done with the torturous interview. "If that will be all, I have a class to teach."

A throat cleared behind him. "Actually professor, I have a few more questions to ask, and I'll need to interview the student in question as well."

Holden restrained himself from jumping out of his skin. He hadn't heard the auror enter the room, but he definitely didn't want to show weakness to the jumpy young man in front of him.

The professor spun to face the newcomer. The fully-qualified auror was an older gentleman. His dark hair was slicked back and greying, and his hazel eyes were warm but daring. Leeder felt as though he were being dared to step out of line, to challenge the duelist in front of him. The man looked somewhat familiar, though he couldn't place him.

"Alastor, why don't you entertain the sixth years?" he suggested, nodding at his apprentice. The younger of the three men left grumbling about babysitting adolescents but was ignored by his mentor. "I apologize for that. Moody can be rather intense." He smiled warmly and offered his hand. "Fleamont Potter, but that never got me anything but hexed in school, so Charlus is fine."

Leeder accepted the offered handshake wondering how one got Charlus from Fleamont. "Holden Leeder"

"Middle name" added the auror. He must have noticed the question in the professor's eyes. "I'd like to hear the story from you if that's alright."

Leeder relaxed, grateful that the official report would not be based solely on the opinions of an inexperienced auror in training. He offered a seat, took his own, and recounted the afternoon once more. Auror Potter listened intently, interjecting here and there with quick questions.

"It was extremely eerie extremely uncomfortable." concluded professor Leeder. "I said 'Lupin, stand up' and the boy obeyed without batting an eye. Amalia and I believe it to be some form of the imperius curse."

The auror nodded and frowned, his brow furrowed in thought. "I'd like to speak with the bot if that's alright."

"It shouldn't be an issue, I think he's himself again." said the professor as he led the way out of the office. "I told him to go about his day as usual and he became more coherent after that."

Auror Potter nodded his acknowledgement of this information and followed his interviewee out the door.

* * *

"LUPIN!" Madam Pomfrey was back from collecting potions from Slughorn. "What makes you think you should be out of bed?"

Romulus started slightly, he was standing between the curtains and his bunk in the hospital wing, and he had no idea how he had gotten there. He'd stood up obviously, but he didn't actually remember doing so.

He was back under the covers before he took another breath, his heart was pounding. He heard another creak of a bed elsewhere in the hospital wing, and he braced himself when the door creaked open.

In all honesty, he didn't know why he was even in the hospital wing. He had been in Professor Leeder's office while the former curse breaker poked around at the web of magic in his body, then he had been lying in bed with curtains drawn to block the light, and he was told he was to take a nap.

The Ravenclaw burrowed into his pillows as the footsteps approached in an attempt to feign sleep. The young apprentice wasn't fooled.

"Lupin, Auror Potter would like to ask you a few questions regarding this afternoon."

Romulus looked from the kind expression of the auror to the stern glare that said 'cooperate or else' from the matron to the nervous professor Leeder who was biting his lip. Pomfrey left with a nod from both the professor and the auror and headed to the storeroom after checking on Remus.

"You had an interesting afternoon." said the auror kindly, taking the chair beside the bed. "Could you tell me about it?"

Romulus shook his head; the last thing he remembered was feeling like his innards were being pulled out.

The gentlemen nodded. "I'm going to have to perform another examination." The patient nodded. "It will feel a little uncomfortable."

Lupin nodded slowly and laid back down. The auror stood. Leeder began to back away, seeing as he wanted nothing to do with a repeat of that afternoon. "Holden, you were the one to do this initially correct?"

Leeder stopped shifting and nodded.

"I would like to keep the magical signatures keyed into Mr. Lupin to a minimum. Would you mind my using your wand?"

Still, the Defense against the dark arts professor said nothing, though he did hand over his oak wand.

Auror Potter began murmuring incoherent incantations as he bagen his examination, and Romulus was tempted to allow himself to drift off to sleep. If he did that, however, he would not discover what had happened as soon as it had been learned.

There was less tugging and pulling this time as the auror murmured and tutted over him, supposedly because there was a smaller magical web spun inside his body.

At long last, after Romulus was about to fall asleep, Auror Potter took a step back and removed his wand. He paused momentarily to decide how to explain the occurrence to a thirteen year old boy, and decided that he should speak with the headmaster first.

"I must speak with Professor Dumbledore and you will be informed of the results of our findings promptly." With a nod to the nurse and her apprentice, and then to professor Leeder, Auror Fleamont Charlus Harold Potter walked out of the hospital wing.

He had been gone for a full minute before Holden Leeder made a move. "He still has my wand!" he exclaimed before running out after the elder man. His exit was followed by two spurts of laughter

Romulus waited a few minutes for the hospital wing hawks to return to other business before he slipped out of bed to converse with his brother, who did a horribly job of feigning sleep when he was approached.

"Can't fool me little brother"

Remus sat up in indignance, bringing his blankets with him. "I am  _definitely_  taller than you!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As per usual, I would love to hear any comments, questions, or concerns that you may have. Now I'm tired, so I hope you enjoy and I hope I get enough down for next week and maybe more.  
> One-Eyed Wolf, OUT for the last time in 2018


	26. Awaiting Disaster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recovery, incidents, and pranks.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for being a week late, though I hope my writing is improving as I actually have a beta now. That being said, we are students and my school work plus extra-curriculars, volunteering, and coaching in full swing, means I have little free time. My current state is "What is a weekend again?" As a result, to continue reasonable punctuality and consistency without burning myself out, chapters will be bi-weekly- as in every other week, not twice a week. Again, sorry about the radio silence on the matter. Enjoy!  
> PS. I own nothing you recognize and I'm still not making any money.

**24 January 1973**

Remus had been back in the school, though not classes, for scarcely two days before he realized that his friends were plotting something. He had slept like the dead, only dragging himself out of bed when Peter's alarm started screeching like a banshee. Remus had vaulted up at the piercing sound, clapping his hands to his ears; Peter barely twitched.

Sleeping late would have concerned him more if he weren't still recovering from his previous transformation; it may have been five days since, but healing potions and charms only worked to a limited degree with werewolf-induced injuries-they had  _just_  healed as fully as they ever would. Add in the concussion and he was wobbly, irritable, fuzzy- even with all the potions he was on because even to the wizarding world, the brain was something of a mystery.

What bothered concerned him that morning was not the fact that he felt like falling over or that his head throbbed, but that it was only half-seven and the James and Sirius were nowhere to be found, their trunks thrown open and beds unmade. Remus narrowed his eyes at the jumbled mess. The disorder was nothing new, but the  _up-before_ _-ol-Remmy_  bit was setting off some warning bells.

He dressed in silence, pulling on a clean pair of trousers, the baggiest jumper he could find, and his outgrown robes.

Before leaving the dormitory he tidied his own space, rewound Peter's alarm, and stuffed his books for the day into his beaten shoulder bag. He tugged at his sleeves, drawing them down to cover the fresh white lines that marred his wrists. He knew he couldn't hide them forever, and they'd be there long as he lived, but he was in no state to conceive believable lies. Hiding them would have to do. With a final once-over, he staggered down to breakfast.

* * *

The Great Hall was painfully loud, every bench filled with energized or frantic youth oblivious to the sensitive ears suffering through the cacophony. Remus clenched his jaw and dragged himself to his seat beside Sirius.

James and Sirius had been arguing over the mechanics of a prank they were planning for next month. It had been Remus's idea originally - an explosion of soap suds in Filch's office -and the pair were intent on matching his master-mindedness one-for-one. Conversation lulled when Remus dropped into his seat and rested his head in his arms, but grew back again in ernest when he showed no further signs of life.

Remus's warning bell started ringing when the two fell silent again. He glanced up in time to see Romulus trudge past the Gryffindor table to join his own.

James shot Sirius a grin, his eyes flickering to Remus before turning back to watch the Ravenclaws. Sirius, for his part, gave Remus a smirk that spelled mischief and drew his wand.

" _Ex inferis commutationem_ _."_

A startled cry rose from the Ravenclaw table. All eyes fixed on the house as students stood up and floundered about, tufts of marshmallow and chocolate sticking to every surface.

The perpetrators were quick to act casual, leaning back in their seats and paying close attention to their food, but they weren't fooling anybody. They had been caught and they knew it. Remus still didn't understand why they were grinning so widely at him until his likeness appeared at his side, covered head to toe in white confectionery.

Romulus moved to cross his arms over his chest, deciding at the last minute he'd rather not get stuck to himself. He fixed the Lupin Glare to his face instead; thin lips twisted into a dry grimace and arched eyebrows over stormy blue eyes.

"Is there a reason my entire house seems to think it's my fault their breakfasts were swapped with  _s'mores casserole_?"

 _Oh. I'd forgotten about that._  The memory of one of his earliest displays of accidental magic had fought its way to the surface through the pounding in his head. Laughter bubbled out between his lips, drawing pleased grins from his cohorts. The outburst led his half-sibling to believe that he was in on it, and the blue-eyed glare rounded on him.

 _Damn,_ _he_   _looks like dad when he's angry._  "I'd say it's my fault, but I really didn't do it." Remus leaned back in his seat and smiled peacefully at the idiots responsible. "I, at least, have  _finesse_."

James and Sirius both glowered at him while Rom loomed overhead.

Remus glanced up at his little big brother. "Honestly," he scoffed, jerking his chin towards the perpetrators, regretting the sudden shift as soon as he made it. "I made  _one_  off-hand comment  _four months ago_  and I'm to blame?" He crossed his arms and faced his brother once more, moving slowly and smoothly this time. "I didn't  _actually_  expect them to remember it."

Sirius threw back his head and let out a barking laugh. "It was basically an  _invitation_ , mate. How could we forget?"

Remus wondered if his eyes could roll out of his head because it certainly felt like they could. He breathed a heavy sigh, fixing James and Sirius with tired eyes. "Are you  _serious_?"

"Yes, I am."

"No, but he is."

Remus groaned, which only made James and Sirius laugh louder.

"Is that a confession I just heard?" Romulus hummed in triumph.

The pair of troublemakers froze. A moment passed, and Romulus was smirking, struggling to contain a spurt of giggles. Another, and Remus was struggling not to join him.

James turned to see what was causing the Lupins so much amusement, the confusion in his eyes turning to fear when he was met with Professor McGonagall's unimpressed glare. "Sirius, mate," he all but whimpered, "I think we're doomed."

* * *

The common room was quiet that evening, the sugar crash claiming even the best of the Gryffindors. Remus wasn't entirely sure what to make of the students strewn across every available surface, snores sounding around the room. It was a welcome break from the frenzy of sugar highs that had gripped students all day.

The madness had not ended at breakfast, nor had it been limited to mealtimes. Suits of armour had spat marshmallows at people all day, torches and chandeliers dripping melted marshmallow and chocolate goo onto passersby should they walk too close, and it had been rather difficult to find food that was not pure sugar.

Remus had fled to the kitchens for his meals. He devoured his marshmallow-free food in minutes, happily topping his plate with seconds and then thirds as he enjoyed his momentary escape from the cacophony of some three hundred buzzing teenagers. Gryffindor Tower's lunatics-in-residence were in detention for the next week of evenings, held responsible for any mayhem stemming from the sugar they'd pumped into the student population, which gave Remus ample opportunity to stress about classes and exams and the like without any of the three to brighten his gloomier bouts with their bubbling havoc. There were still the Prewetts, of course, but they were occupied with their NEWT studies, so they were behaving themselves for the time being.

Adding to his frustration that day, he had been caught in no fewer than five trick steps, damn near twisting his ankle every  _blinking_  time,  _and_  he had been late to class because the North Staircase decided to strand him mid-swing.

Remus and Lily sat in the corner of the common room, working on their assignment from Professor Styne about mandrakes. The practical lesson was to be the following Wednesday, and his head of house had pulled him aside just before lunch to inquire about his ability to participate. At first, Remus was offended. Of course he could participate! Why wouldn't he be able to re-pot a plant?

He had expressed his indignation to his professor: the moon wouldn't even be approaching next week! He would be at his best- assuming that it, that his brain healed in that time, but he didn't share that bit of medical information with his professor. Besides, how hard could it be to pull up a plant and stick it in another pot?

McGonagall had simply sat calmly as her student went through his tirade, hands folded on her desk. When he seemed to pause for longer than just a breath, she said her piece. "Are you quite finished?"

Remus flushed and hung his head in embarrassment. "Sorry Professor."

McGonagall smiled. "Think about it Mr. Lupin." Then she stood, and headed to the Great Hall for her lunch, leaving Remus in her office to wonder what the bloody hell had just happened.

* * *

Back in the common room, he was beginning to understand the concerns. If a mandrake could kill with its wail, he could be a liability.

"Remus? What's wrong?" His study partner had noticed that he was no longer scratching along the parchment with his quill.

He looked up from the book he had been staring at and turned it towards her. "McGonagall asked me this afternoon if I thought I could participate."

"Oh," Lily turned the page. "Didn't Professor Styne say we'd just be working with babies?" she asked with confidence. She pointed at the page. "It says here that they can't kill you until they reach maturity, and we'll have hearing protection."

Remus was not consoled by her words. He thought back to the quidditch match and the earmuffs she had handed him. "Those earmuffs you gave me during the match?" he inquired.

She nodded encouragingly.

Remus frowned. "How much could you hear with those things on?" he asked tentatively.

"Nothing. It was absolute bliss. I only went because Mary made me." She smiled. "Worked on my charms assignment the whole time." Then she noticed his frown. "Why?"

Remus grimaced. Even though he knew that she knew about him, it didn't make talking about his lycanthropy any easier. She would ask a question because she was curious, and the few times he had actually answered instead of evading, he could see that she was trying to hide the pity she felt for him. To broach the subject himself was not something he wanted to do.

"There are a few…" he struggled to find the right word, "side effects"  _not quite, but it'll do_ "that come with... " he glanced pleadingly at her, "you know…"

Lily nodded in understanding, eager to learn more about her friend's disposition.

"Well, some of my senses are…" again with the vocabulary. He'd read how many books? And now words of all things failed him. "Enhanced?"

He was saved the pain of continuing when his study partner interrupted him. "Is that why you're always getting headaches? And avoid the quidditch parties?"

Remus visibly relaxed.  _She gets it. Now I don't have to explain as much._

"You could still hear the match through those earmuffs?" she asked, her curiosity growing.

Remus nodded carefully. "So you might be able to hear the mandrakes."

Her last statement proved that McGonagall's concern was well warranted. Again, he nodded in affirmation.

"Is it volume or pitch that bothers you?" asked Lily excitedly as she leaned forward off her seat, books forgotten. "How does it work? Is it like that for smell too?"

The werewolf sighed and turned his exasperated gaze to the ceiling.  _And here we go with the endless questions about my deepest darkest secret._ He let his hands slip off the table.

"Sorry." Lily was red in the face, her excitement fading as she noticed his frustration. "I take it it's not something you enjoy talking about?"

"Oh, no. I love broadcasting the fact that I am a being that is hated by society." Remus replied dryly. "Oh wait, I forgot; I'm not technically a being anymore am I?"

"Sorry" Lily repeated sheepishly. "Have you told McGonagall?"

"About what?" he scoffed, "My legal status? I think she knows."

She punched him lightly on the arm and shrunk when he winced.

"Please don't apologize again." he asked, knowing what she was about to say.

"Fine, But I meant about me. Have you told her that I know?"

Remus gulped. He had forgotten about that part of the conversation at the beginning of the year. He shook his head. "I guess I'd better do that now." he said, standing and gathering his books.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Lily offered.

"No, you've still got work to do. Thanks though."

* * *

He'd forgotten that his friends were in detention with McGonagall.

"Come to save us Remmy?" When he had knocked, the door had been opened by Sirius. He closed his eyes, hiding the flicker to amber that he knew was coming.

"Oh Minnie," Sirius called. "You have a visitor."

"Back to work Mr. Black. You just earned yourself an extra hour of detention tonight," scolded the professor as she steered him away from the door. "What can I do for you Mr. Lupin?" she asked, the annoyance and scolding now absent from her tone.

Remus glanced through the door, noting that both of his roommates were serving their detention with their Head of House. "I'll come back later."

She caught his shoulder as he turned to leave. He winced and her expression faltered. "Why don't we take this into my classroom?" she asked gently, though Remus could tell that he was not really getting the option. "If those lines aren't adequate when I get back you'll be serving the rest of your detentions with Mr. Filch!"

Remus heard a scrambling of feet and a scraping of chairs inside his professor's office as the detainees made to retake their seats.

Professor McGonagall closed, locked, and silenced her classroom door before taking a seat on one of the desks. "What is troubling you Mr. Lupin?"

Remus sat in a chair a few desks over. "Lily knows."

The Professor nodded. "I surmised as much when she came to me last week, demanding to where you were." She folded her hands in her lap. "I take it she approached you?"

"Cornered me more like," he mumbled, absently tracing the scars on the desk that resembled his own. "She's not bothered by  _me_  but she won't stop asking questions. I'm grateful that she wants to understand, but is it wrong that I don't want to be the one to help her?"

McGonagall took a breath.  _Why do I find myself parenting as a teacher? This is not what I signed up for._  Nevertheless, Minerva enjoyed her profession, save for having to penalize her own house. "No, it's not wrong. If it makes you uncomfortable, just let her know. However, Professor Dumbledore will want to speak with her about this new development."

They sat in silence for some time. "Is that all Mr. Lupin? I would like to ensure that my office is still standing."

Remus looked down at his hands, tracing his own scars now. "If they find out, what will happen to me?"

McGonagall moved towards her student. "I'm afraid that is something of an uncertainty. However, if they are truly your friends, they may surpass your expectations."

"Thanks Professor." Without further prompting, Remus stood and headed out the door.  _So I might get expelled. Could I get reported to the ministry? I don't have to be on the registry until in turn seventeen, but if I'm reported, there goes the rest of my childhood and my education, any hope for a future because it's classified as an forced registration, which means…_

* * *

Herbology class the following Wednesday was a bit of a wake-up call for Remus. He had decided that he should at least attempt the lesson. If he felt unwell, he could always leave the greenhouse.

It started off fine. Professor Styne had briefed the class outside and handed out the earmuffs, emphasizing their importance. He had held onto the best pair specifically for Remus. They were the only ones that weren't pink, fuzzy, or fluffy. They actually appeared to be of Muggle design, the kind that a construction worker might wear, supposedly also laden with silencing charms. They also had W. STYNE written on the underside of the band.

With a brief nod of gratitude to his professor, Remus covered his reddening ears with the bulky green hearing protectors and entered the classroom. Professor Styne nodded at the class that they could begin, and the flinging of dirt began. The mandrakes did not seem to want to come out of their pots, nor did they want to return to the soil.

The first few minutes were followed by a light headedness as more screaming baby plants were uprooted from their homes. Ten minutes into the class, when everyone had managed to pull their plants free, Remus felt fuzzy. The fuzziness spread into his fingers and toes and his vision started to close in. Lily was watching him with uncertainty when he started to sway, and so was their professor, who was mouthing something at him that he couldn't hear. There were several screams when he hit the dirt.

* * *

He was subject to some ridicule for his fainting spell throughout the next few days. It didn't help that he repeated it when they were brewing Sleeping Draughts in potions. Since the entire class, save Remus, was somewhat competent in potions, there were easily fifteen properly brewed Draughts simmering over their fires, fumes wafting and settling heavily over the students.

"Lots of people were moving slower than usual" Peter noted from beside Remus's bed in the hospital wing.

"You keep getting us out of class early, I could get used to this mate" Sirius piped in.

"Think you'll be able to manage it once exams come around?" James joked.

* * *

There were no further incidents until February. Remus had taken to seeking refuge in the silence of the library with Lily, where he could study free of jeers and impressions.

Those had lasted for two weeks. Remus had had two incidents. His brother, suffered a sudden collapse in Defense the Tuesday after Remus's incidents, and the class had laughed at the hilarity of the timing with what Professor Leeder had been saying.

Leeder hadn't been the same in their class since. He ignored Romulus as much as he could, and did what he could to speak only indirectly to him.

Dumbledore had explained Romulus's situation days after the incident with the aurors, but Rom, for whatever reason, had chosen not to elaborate past 'the howler was cursed, Leeder tried to get rid of it, keyed into a curse that can't be removed yet. Rom didn't want to worry his brother; he had seen what the aftermath of an emotionally stressful transformation were and he preferred to avoid another.

Since then however, there had been countless productions of students pretending to faint as either Lupin passed by, and neither was at liberty to explain  _why_  they had done so.

Peeves had coined the nickname that now followed Lyall's sons through the castle. The Slytherins spoke it with mirth, the rest used it because it had a ring to it. The Gryffindors told them to roll with it and had used it with great fondness.

In time, the name began to make more and more sense. Remus or Romulus would find themselves stuck in the stairs even though they skipped the trick ones and no one else ever had issues with the ones they slipped through, passageways would close up or change direction on them, and the occasional knight thought it funny to trip them.

The castle, it seemed, had a mind of its own, and neither boy could figure out how they had managed to piss it off.

It was in such an instance that Remus found himself on February eleventh, He had been returning from the owlery, from sending a letter to his parents, when he found himself stuck in a wall. For a long while he heard no one. Then he heard a soft clicking of claws on the stone floor.  _Shit. Please don't be what I think it is._

No such luck. Borris the cat was rounding the corner, The presence of the ever disgruntled cat meant that the grouchy caretaker was not far behind. Borris turned to Remus , raised its hackles, and growled, alerting Filch to his presence.

Remus was tempted to growl back. The cat, like all non-canines seemed to be more wary of him than the other students. Remus thought that the cat hated him, and had he known he was alone, he would have growled back at the cat, but alas, Filch was coming. Filch was coming, and he was stuck in the wall.

He would have done something by now, except that his wand arm was trapped with his wand inside the wall, and this made using magic rather difficult. He held his breath as the caretaker rounded the corner and waited for the man to realize why his feline accomplice had stopped. When Filch looked up to see that a student had their head, left foot, and right knee and arm protruding from the stone wall, he did a double-take.

Certain now that he was not hallucinating, his muscled drooped in annoyance, "Bumbling idiot children… always making more work for me…" Filch meandered off down the corridor before Remus could suggest a spell that he believed would remedy the solution.

"Are you going to leave me here too?" he asked Borris as the cat trotted off to follow his master. "That's fine" he called after the pair, "just leave me hanging."

Filch did not leave him hanging. The caretaker returned some fifteen minutes later with Professor Leeder in tow.

Remus offered a cheeky grin and waggled his fingers in greeting. The professor snorted and crossed his arms, looking Remus- and the wall- up and down. "Well," he said with a smile once Borris and his master had vacated the corridor. "I can see where 'The Blunder Twins' came from."

This time Remus did growl. It was soft and out of annoyance rather than anger, but still, growling at people was not a habit he wanted to adopt. His face flushed in embarrassment.

"Mind explaining how you ended up in the wall?" still smiling with amusement.

"It closed around me when I was coming out." He wasn't about to tell his professor  _why_  he had been in the passageway that had closed around him, and he  _certainly_  wasn't going to tell him that it led to the alley behind the post office in Hogsmeade, or that he was in it because he had been collecting materials for a prank.

Fortunately, his defense professor was not as familiar with the secrets of the castle as he was. "Hmmm…" Leeder stood in front of the wall, scrutinizing it with a painful lack of urgency. He tutted, and pondered, and re-examined the stone bricks.

Remus grew impatient. "Can you  _please_  let me out now?" he almost whined.

The professor chuckled again and waved his wand. "Climb down now then Lupin." he chortled, turning to return to his office.

The return to the peace of the Defense office was ended abruptly. As he neared the grand staircase, the quiet hum that resonated within the walls of the castle was punctuated by several screams in the Entrance Hall, followed by a sickening thud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, that was it. I hope it was worth the extended wait. As per usual, let me know if you have any comments, questions, concerns, ideas, suggestions, or critiques.   
> One Eyed Wolf, OUT 13 Jan 2019


	27. Fight Yourself

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Remus isn't always the calm, quiet bookworm. Sometimes he gets himself into trouble all by himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, it's still coming. Somebody let me know of this bounces around too much and where it gets confusing (should it be an issue for you) and I'll do my best to fix it.

**11 February 1973**

"Albus, I don't think I can do this anymore."

Holden Leeder was pacing the headmaster's office in the early hours of the evening, hands threaded in his hair and pulling sharply at the strands. "I almost killed a student today!"

He stopped to fiddle with one of the many instruments scattered about the room. The headmaster had yet to say anything. He sat patiently at his desk, having long since realized that both adults and students tended to vent better when left uninterrupted.

Holden stopped pacing and leaned against the wall, exhausted. "I should leave." he said suddenly. "I shouldn't be teaching here."

Dumbledore whirled on his heel, staring at the weary professor in alarm. "Why would you do that? People might begin to think the position is cursed."

The younger man threw his hands in the air. "It may very well be! My actions nearly caused a student's death, Headmaster! As it is, he'll be hospitalized for several days."

Dumbledore leaned forward, trapping his beard against his desk. "Honestly, Holden, it's not like you told Romulus Lupin to scale his way down from the second floor." he smiled gently.

Leeder broke the linked gaze. "Not... directly," he murmured.

Dumbledore's soft expression cracked at the edges. "Mr. Lupin will be fine. Though I suggest you refrain from speaking to either of them. I do not wish to seek another replacement for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position until July at the earliest." He turned to examine the portraits decorating his office, his smile strained.

"But-"

"Is that understood?" Dumbledore asked, cutting him off abruptly.

Leeder nodded meekly. "But if something happens again, I'm gone."

Albus bobbed his head in agreement before changing the subject. "Have the aurors made any progress?"

Holden shook his head and stood, moving towards the window. "Bureau of Enforcement, Arrest, and Restraint in Canada just got put on the job; they had to wait for the Department of International Magical Cooperation to amass the necessary documents and forward them, and they're rather slow these days."

"I see." Dumbledore joined his employee at the window. "I believe this will be more complicated than simply seeking out Ms. Betts. I do not believe she would knowingly do something quite so rash."

The professors stood by the window, watching the small figures roaming the grounds as the sun set, silently wondering how many would be returning to their common rooms to slap a last-minute assignment together.

* * *

Remus was beginning to feel that he spent too much time in the hospital wing. It was, at least, refreshing to be a visitor instead of a patient. He was free to get up, and wander. Free to come and go as he pleased.

Almost.

Nurse Biddle was fairly particular about the visiting hours, and about how much exertion a patient should be allowed. Those recovering from serious concussions were allotted a very limited amount of time.

He considered admitting himself to the infirmary- complain of headaches or some such ailment- but it was probable that all he would get was a sleeping draught, and that wasn't helpful.

Professor McGonagall approached him late in the evening to explain what had happened, having been briefed on the entire situation by Professors Leeder and Dumbledore.

His brother was under a form of the Imperius Curse, and the Defense professor had accidentally keyed himself into it. Apparently, this meant that any direction he gave to Romulus would be mindlessly complied with. It also meant that if the subject of the command were vague enough, 'Lupin' for example, the order would be obeyed.

"Don't worry" she had told him. "The Aurors are working on it."

_Well, Professor, if you tell me not to worry, at least have the sense not to look worried yourself, since you can't do anything about the smell._

"Remus" McGonagall was still talking. "Are you listening?"

 _Sort of._ He nodded anyway.

"We are reaching out to his mother but it could take several days to find her."

 _Isn't she the whole reason he's in this mess?_ he thought angrily, remembering her  _reaction_  at St. Mungo's and her reason for leaving the blasted continent.

"Do you know of anyone who would be of assistance in locating her?"

He was in the middle of shaking his head when he remembered St Mungo's; "I think so, possibly." He nodded his head slowly, gaining vigour as he thought it through. "Yeah, I do!"

McGonagall leaned forward in her seat. "And who might that be, Remus?"

Remus was now bubbling with his usual energy. Subdued and calm Remus was gone, but his professors rarely saw his active side; they saw Rom's ADHD, James and Sirius's mischief, and Peter's inattentiveness. By comparison, Remus was the poster child for a second-year boy. He actually paid attention in class, and he actually did the work, but what very few people witnessed were his restless explorations (the very reason that the second floor and much of the dungeons had been mapped), his reading perches, and the groove in the floor of their dormitory that Peter kept tripping over- not so much because it was deep, but more that the boy couldn't be bothered to pick up his own feet, and the slight unevenness of the floor- that may have been created by the restless werewolf- was enough to send him flailing into something solid.

More energy, however, tended to mean more distractions and things to sift through in his mind.  _Focus Lupin! What was the question again?_

"I, uh… sorry?"

"You said someone knows where Aster is?" McGonagall reminded him gently.

_Right! Rom's mum._

"His stepfather," Remus said, fingers drumming against his thigh. "He's a muggle, but he told me in the café at St. Mungo's that he's an airline pilot and he does transatlantic flights!"

"Alright," interjected the professor carefully, "does his stepfather have a name?"

"Of course he has a name! Doesn't everyone?" The sudden surge of energy and adrenaline that had rushed his system worked  _wonders_  on his thought process.

McGonagall sent him a pointed look, one eyebrow cocked high as she waited for him to figure it out.

"Oh, right" He smacked his forehead lightly, pretending there wasn't any colour to his cheeks. "Ben, I think… Ben Mynarski. He never said the airline though." Remus smiled, pleased with himself for having remembered the name, and convinced, now at least, that his brother would be alright.

It was in this state of skittish glee that he scampered back to his common room, ignored the barrage of noise that greeted him, and headed up to his dormitory to plot his revenge on the Slytherins who had agressed his brother earlier that week.

"Why am I just finding out about this now?" he asked the empty room

_Probably because Rom knew i'd do exactly what I'm doing now and he wanted to keep me out of detention. It's not like I planned on getting caught._

The quiet of that evening was spent trying to figure out how to aerosolize a sleeping draught, and how locally one could disperse it without reducing potency. Unfortunately, Remus was just as hopeless at potions as Binns was at entertaining.

Long story short, he fell asleep with his nose in his potions book. Peter made his way up some time later and collapsed onto his own bed.

When James and Sirius returned from their extended detention, they smiled at the sight; their classmate was passed out on the floor, his book open under his face, and notes scattered around him.

Upon closer inspection they grinned.

"Those don't look like notes for Slughorn" whispered SIrius, plucking a sheaf of parchment from the floor.

James hummed in agreement. "Looks like he's planning something."

"Without us?" Sirius exclaimed, forgetting that his roommates were sleeping around him."Sorry" he hissed when James rounded on him, gesturing at their friend on the floor.

Sirius tried not to laugh, he really did. But that was a rather difficult task as his friend groaned from the floor, twitching his legs. Both boys lost it when Remus gurgled and began drooling on the open textbook.

Both slumbering boys slept through the cackling that split the silence of the dormitory, though Remus did roll off the book.

"Should we leave him there?" Sirius asked quietly, though he was no longer concerned that he would wake anyone in his room.

James glared at him in incredulity. "What?" he asked, picking up the book and wiping the slobber off with a sock. "And have him grouchy in the morning because  _we_  let him sleep on the floor?" He dropped the sock into Remus's laundry pile, not caring whose it was. "I'll pass."

Sirius grimaced at the thought of Remmy being irritable and knowing who was to blame. The blame in this case, fell of course on Remus, but they had found that  _he_  did not see it that way if someone else could have done something differently. He was not the type to be petty about blame. If dinner did not agree with him, he did not blame the elves. If the Library was loud, he did not blame the librarian. If, however, he did not sleep well because his roommates had been begging that he assist with their homework or, god forbid, kept him out late without his full willingness,  _then_  there was blame placed.

Leaving him on the floor would result in such blame, and one did not want to be in the way when Remus Lupin was tired, sore, and in a snit. It had resulted in uncomfortable boils for James, Sirius, and Peter, made even more so by quidditch practice.

They did not look forward to a repeat of that experience. Not on themselves at least.

Remus was, fortunately, in a good mood for the remainder of the week.

* * *

The remainder of the month was more or less normal for the occupants on the seventh floor of Gryffindor tower..

For Remus, normal meant having almost all 206 bones in his body break, shrink, or elongate, and grow into different shapes, pushing other bones, muscles, and organs out of the way. It pulled inside him, making him feel like he was being torn apart when things, that were not supposed to move, moved and shoved other things out of the way. His muscles would stretch and tear as they adapted themselves, and his pores were roughly exfoliated when coarse fur forced its way through his skin.

Twice in  _one_ night.

Normal for Remus also meant classes, homework, test, assignments, and headaches. His recovery from the transformation hadn't been too bad; he hadn't managed to cut too deeply into himself, so the injuries had healed fairly quickly. Lily had also brought him his work so that he had something to do until Madam Pomfrey announced that he was free to leave at eight o'clock that evening, Lily had also brought a chess board with her.

"Even you need a break from books now and again." She had said when he had looked up from his assignment with an look of annoyance that was generally reserved for his roommates. Roommates, who had managed to earn a continual death glare after the events two days prior.

Valentines Day was not something Remus wanted to think about.

"Fine" muttered Remus, rolling up the essay on ingredient state for potions.

They set up the board. Remus let Lily choose her pieces, despite her protests and claims that she had been on her primary school's chess team.

"Knight to E-6"

Lily failed to contain her smile. Remus succeeded.

"Bishop to E-6" she cooed triumphantly.

Remus shot her a smirk, his eyes glinting as he looked from her to the board and back. Her face fell as she realized what she had missed. "Queen to C-7"

He waited for her to look up from the board that she had been frantically searching for a way out before calling: "Checkmate." His grin only widened when her eyes narrowed and her brow furrowed, face reddening all the while.

* * *

The number of detentions that Remus had accumulated for the month was the anomaly. Generally speaking, he tended to stay out of sight and avoided getting caught. He was a good student, but he was also a boy- who happened to live and be friends with the most disruptive students in the school- who enjoyed a good laugh.

One, maybe three detentions every two months was his norm.

He had six.

The only reason James and Sirius got into so much trouble was because they would try to implement things by themselves without thinking it through, or they would act out in plain sight.

Tripping Slytherins was a favourite of theirs. Snape in particular, mostly because they got the biggest rise out of him and because he gave it back. This led to a bit of a cycle.

People also tended to jump instantly to the two of them to blame because they had built a reputation for themselves the previous year.

On Friday, they had begun levitating food off the house tables and dropping it on unsuspecting students. All four boys were active in this particular bout of mischief, though that had not been communicated. James and Sirius had shared a look and begun, followed, unbeknownst to them, by Remus and Peter. As it was, Peter could barely manage the levitation charm at such a distance and when he did, his aim was so terrible that he only managed to move food from one plate to another.

While they were facing their targets, wands out, muttering the incantations and snickering as each projectile hit its mark, Remus was being discreet.

He sat at his usual place with his wand under the long table and his transfiguration book open in front of him, glancing up now and then to know where his own projectile was before dropping it and returning his direction to his dinner or his reading. He also thanked Sirius silently for breaking his jaw in December; non-verbal charms allowed him more camouflage amongst his housemates.

His next target was Professor Styne. He seemed stressed that evening, Perhaps he could use a pick-me-up; besides, he was generally a good sport about such things. Remus carefully floated a pie from the Hufflepuff table over to the Head Table and over the herbology professor's head.

Thus far, the staff had not been paying attention to the random cries of surprise. When Remus let the pie drop, however, Styne made to stand, as though he would search the diners for the culprit. McGonagall held him down.

It would seem that Peter was the only conspirator that had seen the pie drop, because he let out a chuckle and turned his eyes towards the instigators of this act of insubordination, trying to guess which it had been.

This time, Remus waited until both James and Sirius were looking in the direction of the head table to commence his next targeting session. Styne followed the pile of mashed potatoes, that were of course covered in gravy, as they floated to their target. Professor McGonagall made the mistake of looking up to see what he was staring at.

Remus had returned to his book once the potatoes had acquired their target, but his head shot up as his Head's chair scraped against the stone floor. He winced at the bits of starch that clung to her face and robes.  _Oops_  he thought as she wiped gravy from her eyes.

James and Sirius looked at each other, horrified that the other would dare to patronize the stern woman.

The Stern Woman had seen their exchange, and the pair had spent the evening polishing trophies for Filch.

* * *

Before that, Remus had been caught with the remaining dungbombs that had been modified to release the sleeping draught that they-meaning  _not_ Remus or Peter- had brewed in the privacy of their shared bathroom. Explosions and melting floors tended to attract attention

Romulus had provided them with the regular seats that the Slytherins took in their Herbology lectures, and James and Peter had snuck in on their lunch break to plant them at the appropriate desks while Sirius and Remus had stood guard.

Their success was unexpected. Each and every Slytherin, and only the Slytherins- including the few who sat next to Ravenclaws- had dropped off in the middle of their test on cultivation methods and their respective applications.

The Slytherins were going to get a rewrite.

That particular stunt had earned Remus two detentions, and a docking of thirty points. The others were implicated when Peter crushed one of the jars containing the removed sludge from the dungbombs underneath himself when he tripped over his feet going into the Great Hall, earning themselves two detentions each and a docking of fifteen points apiece.

* * *

Another he had earned from Madam Pince.

"There is such a thing as a ladder for a reason, you know." She had scorned from below.

"It was stuck" defended Remus, putting on his  _I-didn't-do-it_  face that he had perfected since coming to school.

Remus had been looking for a book to help him with his transfiguration essay when a text in the charms section had caught his eye. Curious, Remus had scaled the bookshelf, plucked the dusty tome off the top shelf, and pulled himself up. From that height, he could see the rows upon rows of books, and the heads bobbing down the aisles.

He could also see a nook that looked like it would be a perfect place to hide out and read the book on spell creation that he had stumbled across. The cavity in the wall was well-enough lit that he would be able to read, but softly enough so that he would not be blinded by the pages. It was rounded and cosy, just big enough for him to pop in and be concealed.

Remus didn't get a chance to test his new hidey hole because it had been three shelves away, and Madam Pince had caught him leaping over the gap as she was reshelving books.

This was a fairly common occurrence, and it seemed that a detention was issued at a rate of one detention for every two incidents. And yet, he couldn't help himself from continuing to find all the nooks and crannies of the library. There were just  _so many_.

* * *

On another occasion- the night before the moon would hang full in the sky- a prefect had assigned him detention for roaming the castle after curfew. This was something that was generally excused if he were caught by one of the professors, with promises that he would be back in his bed by midnight.

The prefects were not so lenient, and when they leaned against walls or took seats on the plinths of the suits of armour lining the insides of the castle, he could not hear their footsteps. Furthermore, the castle was so draughty in the winter months that it made identifying the sources of different smells rather confusing.

They did not understand his compulsion to move about, his restlessness, and his inability to stop moving.

Thus: detention.

* * *

His final detentions had been earned defending himself and his brother, and they too, had been earned on Friday. While standing up for oneself and others is generally not frowned upon, drawing one's wand on another student is.

"Why Snivellus, you look  _lovely_  this morning!" taunted Sirius as the Gryffindor boys, plus Romulus, made their way from transfiguration that Friday.

The Slytherin glowered at the group, having already suspected that they were responsible for the fuschia heads that now littered the house of the snake.

"I think he looks wonderful Sirius" James said before turning to the Lupins. "What do you think Rom? Remus?"

Remus studied the student in front of them, analyzing the colours with contrast to skin tones. "You know, I still think we should've gone with the Cameo."

The boys snorted and continued on their way to lunch.

They stopped when Romulus landed on his face.

"I  _told_  you to lace your trainers, you'll spend less time on the floor." Scolded Remus mockingly.

Romulus was indignant. "I  _did_  tie my shoes this morning!"

The pair spun at the snickering coming from behind them.

Snape was strolling towards them, making his own way to the Great Hall for lunch. "I see you are living up to your name Lupin." He leaned down, his black eyes glinting in the torchlight. "Why don't you give us a demonstration of how that came to be?"

Both Lupins stood their ground, fists clenched, but neither making a move towards the taunting Slytherin.

"Ooh, is little Lupin going to give us the fight he ran away from?" They were joined by Avery, Mulciber, and Malfoy.

"Remus, Rom? Let's just go…" said Peter quietly as he began to make his way towards the stairs.

"Tsk tsk, how  _did_  you manage Gryffindor Pettigrew?" Malfoy sneered, looking down over his large nose.

Remus stepped up to the prefect, in front of his friends. "Leave us alone Malfoy; what have we ever done to you?"

Malfoy chuckled at this comment, turning his attention from the short and portly boy to the lanky one who stood before him. "It's not what you've done to me you little whelp. It's what you've done to the wizarding world."

If Remus was angry or confused, he didn't show it. Romulus and James however, were not as good at concealing how they felt. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath to hide the flicker in the colour of his eyes.

Malfoy continued without prompting. "Your family is a disgrace now with the pair of you." he moved his hands to his pockets, presumably to his wand. "I mean, it's one thing to knock up a halfblood, or, Merlin forbid, a mudblood,"

Remus was seething, and Romulus was being physically restrained by James and Sirius, who were thinking about cursing Malfoy into oblivion, but he was a seventh year  _and_  a prefect, plus their friend was likely to get caught in the crosshairs, and Remus was looking rather frail lately.

"-but  _two_?" The prefect laughed; it was cold and dry, and rather disturbing.

Avery stepped in, a look of disgust on his pointy features. "I mean, once is one thing, but who would want to do that  _more_ than once with filth like that?"

Malfoy's wand  _had_  been in his pocket, not anymore though, now Lucius Malfoy was pointedly twirling it between his fingers, daring the Gryffindors to try something. "In a matter of month no less. You know, I've never heard anything about Lyall Lupin's conquests, are we even sure that they  _are_  mudbloods? Or did he stoop lower than that?" A soft beeping sounded from inside the prefect's robes, sighing, he pulled out his watch and silenced it. "Would you look at that? I have rounds to begin. I hope I haven't disturbed you too much, I'd hate to see the savage muggle blood show itself and have to do my duty and reprimand you."

He was gone around the corner in a flourish of robes and a few strong strides.

Romulus was almost succeeding in breaking his restraints, and Remus's eyes were quickly being clouded with flecks of gold, his long nails digging into his palms.

"But that's not even the kicker is it?" asked the greasy haired Slytherin as he moved to take his prefect's place.

James looked from Lupin, to Lupin, to Snape, noting the tension building in his friend's shoulders. "Buzz off while you still can."

Snape sneered at James and the boy he was restraining. "I think I can take Lupin." he said snidely, eyeing Remus's gangly and sickly form, also aware that his own wand was out. "He could fall over without any effort on my part."

Sirius swallowed and glanced across Romulus, where James too, was shifting nervously. They had both borne witness to Remus's strength, despite his apparent lack of muscle.

"What are you so afraid of then?" Blurted the older Lupin, against his better judgement.

Their aggressor looked offended. "Fear? Oh no, you misunderstand me." Snape paused dramatically to twirl his wand around his fingers. "I'm not afraid; I just have no desire to contaminate myself with the products of Lyall Lupin's disgraceful conquests." He smiled maliciously. "Did you know that he was forced out of his position at the Ministry when his superior found out about  _both_  of you?"

Remus took another deep breath, using his years of experience of fighting the wolf to calm his temper. Lyall had not been kicked out of the ministry, but rather, he had resigned. He resigned in 1964 after his son had been bitten in an attempt to reduce the risk of discovery, though he still contracted out on occasion. Romulus had no such training, and despite James and Sirius's best efforts, he bolted from their grasp, ready to expel his pent-up anger.

" _Locomotor Mortis"_

Romulus's legs snapped together and he crashed to the floor, his nose cracking under his face.

Remus lost it. He was overly-protective on a regular basis; provoking his friends so close to the full moon was simply asking for it. His wand was out in a flash.

" _Melofors!"_

Peter had long since scurried off, but the remaining Gryffindors stood gaping in shock as their normally energetic-but-calm and level-headed roommate encased their rival's head in a pumpkin.

They could feel the scowl through the gourd and began to advance to the aid of their friends.

Then they could see his panic through his posture.

" _Digitus Wibbly!"_  Snape's voice was muffled through the fruit, but his frustration at being unable to come up with anything better was audible.

Nevertheless, a thin cyprus stick clattered to the floor.

Avery and Mulciber, who had been watching from behind their housemate widened their eyes and turned tail as Peeves flew overhead, carrying a pile of stink pellets, and cackling madly about having left the transfiguration classroom a mess.

Remus only saw Snape's wand turn on his brother, and without thinking, he pounced on the threat to his family, limp hand striking his chest. Remus wheeled and pinned him to the wall, driving his knee up as he did so.

The result was as desired: Snape had hopped up to avoid blinding pain and as such, his feet were hovering over the wall as he was pinned up by the spindly Remus Lupin, whose fist was rising to meet with an unnaturally pale face with a rather large nose.

_CRACK!_

Everything had happened so fast that James and Sirius had only just made it to their friend, having first had to dodge around his brother who still lay on the floor. No sooner had their hands closed around his arms than Remus froze, his hand mid shake as blood-that he had been trying to shake off- dripping to the floor.

"LUPIN!"

Remus hastily took a step back, allowing Snape to drop to his knees, hands immediately moving to his face to try and stem the bleeding as he glared up at the Gryffindor who had caused him his pain.

"MY OFFICE, NOW!" Professor McGonagall was seething. She held her students to a high standard. She tried to at least. "Black, Potter," She flicked her wand at the Lupin on the floor, "Lupin, you too." The professor turned to the only student left not on his feet.

"If you don't look up Mr. Snape then I can't do anything to stop the bleeding" she said irritably. Snape obeyed her instructions, his mouth and chin covered in a thick stream of blood.

" _Episkey_ "

"Now," she said calmly, once the rest of the students had cleared the corridor, "I would like you to tell me what happened, and then you are to go to the hospital wing to get that fixed properly."

McGonagall was probably one of the few Heads of House to have graced the Halls of the castle that was just as likely, if not more so, to give her own students detentions and point deductions, It was for this reason that she was well-liked by the students in other houses, even if she did penalize more students than the other professors, she was fair. But, as Snape knew, she was also a human lie detector, he had no choice but to tell the part truth and hope that he got away with it.

* * *

"Sit" was the given command once Sirius, James, and Romulus had been dismissed from the office. The two Gryffindors, for once, had not been the aggressors, and though they did not do their  _best_  to prevent the incident, they had tried.

Remus slumped down in the chair, his mind scrambling to think straight, but his thoughts were bouncing off the walls of his mind in a frenzied panic. He could see his professor saying something, but he couldn't focus, it was so close to the full moon and his alter ego was fighting to the surface through the chaos.

The wolf flinched, retreated when Professor McGonagall placed her hand on his shoulder, shaking him slightly. His eyes snapped up, focusing on her face as the amber faded with every breath he took.

She watched him for a moment before taking her own seat. "I take it you didn't hear anything I just said?"

Remus shook his head, eyes cast down in shame.

The professor sighed, it was  _so_ much easier when she didn't have to repeat herself. "I am told you were provoked. Is this also your take on events?"

The boy nodded, though weakly.

"While I do not condone your actions, I can understand them to a degree."

Remus folded his hands in his lap and faced his teacher once more, slightly puzzled. "I shouldn't lash out like that, but he was insulting my family and I had it under control and then he threatened Rom and…"

"I understand the werewolf psyche Mr. Lupin. That is why you aren't facing the headmaster and Mr. Snape's Head of House."

Remus nodded in understanding and gratitude.

"However, I can not allow such behaviour, no matter how justified, to go unpunished."

Remus's shoulders dropped, and McGonagall raised an eyebrow.

"Duelling in the school is not tolerated. I am appalled that one of  _my_  students raised a wand at another."

Remus opened his mouth to apologize, but his professor wasn't done.

"But to raise your fists?" She smiled in nostalgia, remembering her own school days, "If you're going to fight someone, you have more sophisticated methods of doing so."

Now it was the student's turn to raise a brow.

The professor's eyes widened, shocked that she had said such a thing in the presence of a student. "That was  _not_  an invitation or permission Mr. Lupin! You  _will_ serve two detentions with Professor Raax as soon as you are well."

Remus chuckled at his flustered professor, smiling to himself. Raax wasn't too bad; he tended to let learn rather than preach, and was generally understanding of his absences.

"I would rather not see you in here again for fighting Mr. Lupin."

"I feel the same, but I'm afraid I can't make any promises." Remus looked out the window and gazed through the wall to where he knew the Whomping Willow spread its roots, his thoughts turning to his darker side. "What if I really injure someone?"

McGonagall frowned, wondering the same thing herself. What if he did cause serious injury? The headmaster wouldn't likely expel him as it was beyond his control to a degree, but the Board of Governors didn't know that.

She strode over to her bookshelf, stricken with a sudden thought, thumbing the spines as she looked for one book in particular. "There it is." In a fluid motion, the book was off the shelf and on her desk in front of her student.

"Occlumency? Professor, my mind can't be read. How is studying the subject of closing my mind to intrusion going to help with anger management?"

McGonagall's eyes danced at the revelation that there was at least one student who could successfully lie to Albus Dumbledore. "Not to block attacks from the outside Remus, I'd like you to practise the art against yourself."

Remus lit up. "That's brilliant!" he exclaimed, beaming at his professor, "If it works that is…"

"I do not believe it has ever been applied in such a manner Mr. Lupin, but I believe you may be successful in doing so."

Remus looked down at the book again; it this worked…  _Maybe I can work it to keep the wolf down when the moon rises too…_

"Off you go." commanded McGonagall, pushing the book towards her pupil.

Remus practically leapt up, snatching the book up as he did so, hope and excitement dancing in his face. Without another word, he bounded out the door in search of somewhere to begin reading.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to follow in two weeks, though the update will probably be a day late because I'll be stuck on a bus and getting home very late when I would usually update.  
> Comments, questions, concerns, queries, ideas, suggestions, or general notes? I would love to hear them. Seriously, it makes my day.


	28. The Dangers of Association

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So, what did happen on valentine's day?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I'm sorry, I've had a lot going on lately and not so much time, plus I hit a wall for a bit. But I'm back now and the biathlon season is over which leaves me more free time to write.
> 
> Disclaimer: JKR built the world and most of the characters, I just like to pretend I live in it. There are also words by Elizabeth Barrett Browning in this chapter, so I won't pretend those are mine either.

 

**18 April 1973**

Wednesdays were generally an unexceptional day in the Hogwarts calendar, and it was only the Spring holidays fast approaching that left the Great hall abuzz with the excited ruckus of a week away from school. Teachers were not exempt from the preparations - holidays meant quiet corridors and peaceful mealtimes.

A burst of laughter erupted from the Gryffindor table, jerking Professor McGonagall back into her hectic reality.  _At least it_ had  _been_ _peaceful_ _before Black and Potter showed up._ _Merlin knows I could've well used more than one_   _relatively reasonable year to get used to the job before those_ _marauding little_ _miscreants_   _graced us with their presence._

Sirius Black was dancing up and down his section of the Gryffindor table, juggling far more hard boiled eggs than he should be able to handle.

"BLACK!" Ah, so they weren't hard boiled after all. A mop of red hair popped up from the table, eyes ablaze as yolk oozed down her hair forehead. "So help me Merlin, I  _will_  hex you!"

"Preposterous," Black scoffed, clasping his hands together in a drama of arthurian proportions and conveniently letting half a dozen eggs splatter against the table beneath him. "I am not one to be so easily  _hexed_ , Miss Evans. Might I suggest you try James instead?"

"Ready when you are, Red." quipped the Potter boy, waggling his eyebrows.

 _Not this again…_  McGonagall groaned inwardly as Lily Evans restrained herself from commiting a double homicide. Emmett Boon had spoken far too vaguely about the trials faced by a Head of House - Minerva had most certainly  _not_  signed up for this.

Evans got shot up from the table and stormed out of the Great Hall, leaving Potter to stare at her retreating form, and Black to pluck out some new eggs from a basket and resume his juggling.

Minerva McGonagall knew very well it was far too early to be busying herself with handing out detentions to her own students; instead, she returned to her breakfast, hoping to at least finish her kippers before some other dramatic incident gripped the school.

Owls flooded the room as the post came in, dropping newspapers and letters from home amongst students and staff. Minerva scratched between the wings of her own screech owl absently, grumbling about why  _she_  had to deal with all the insolent students. The fork had barely left her mouth when a handsome grey owl dropped a crisp envelope in her lap.

She'd seen enough of that handwriting in the last year to know it on sight alone.  _So much for a pleasant morning_  she thought dryly before grasping her butter knife and breaking the wax.

A quick skim of the page had her seething. Now, what she  _wanted_ to do was to shift into her animagus form, return to her rooms and shred something of considerable importance; what she  _did_ do was stand with the letter clutched tight in her grasp and make her way around the head table, eyes locked on her own house clowns.

Squawks and cries of protest sounded about the Gryffindor table as Sirius Black froze mid-toss, his newest batch of eggs falling onto the heads and things of his classmates. Potter wiped breakfast debris off his face and turned to bark up at his mate, the light scowl fading from his face when he realized just how white Black looked.

Sirius had seen the all-too-familiar owl swoop overhead and had foolishly hoped that it was just a coincidence, just an excuse to prove her power, just Regulus complaining to home about Transfiguration classes. But when his professor stood, the green seal pressed into her palm, he knew it was something uglier. One look from his professor told him everything he needed to know about who the letter was ffor. James blinked, suddenly finding himself alone with Peter, and covered in egg, at their regular seats at the long table, their brother-in-arms hurtling down the corridor.

"Well, Pete, do  _you_  know where all our mates went?" he asked his friend, after gawking at Professor McGonagall as she turned on her heel and striding back to her seat.  _This can wait a while longer._

Peter shook his head, Remus had failed to mention anything to either of them before he had up and left the previous evening.

"Hey Evans-"

"You already scared her off for today." Peter stopped himself from rolling his eyes. That was Sirius's thing.

"Damn," mumbled James, "she always knows where Remus is," He scanned the table once more, searching for their missing friend. "Why  _does_  she always know where he is?" He tried to keep suspicion and reproach from staining his voice - it was not a Potter thing to do.

Peter shrugged and returned to his meal. "Why don't you ask Rom?"

That particular thought hadn't struck him, though the pair of Gryffindors opted to wait until Transfiguration started.

* * *

Sirius was fidgety for the entire lesson. His toad was supposed to be a dining goblet by now, but it was still spotted, green, and squashy. Generally, he was excellent at transfiguration, and he and James were almost always the first to grasp a lesson, with Remus and Evans either just ahead or just behind their practical success. Their written work left much to be desired, though not for lack of knowledge. Evenings were always better spent in the throes of boyhood mischief; if it weren't for Remus, they'd be writing their assignments at breakfast the day they were due, instead of thirty minutes before they went to bed the night before. Their study habits left much to be desired.

His goblet still croaked, though he scarcely noticed nor cared. The letter that McGonagall had received that morning was for him and he knew it. Every nerve in his body knew it. He was nervous and jumpy and had spent most of the lesson trying to relieve his stress by attempting to transfigure his professor's tightly wound bun into an actual bun whenever the witch turned her back.

His poorly thought out plan - he wasn't quite sure he'd really thought it out at all - was to distract her from the letter that she had received from his mother. He didn't really care if she put him in detention. Rather, he was expecting it, and since Remus was conveniently absent for the lesson, his antics went unchecked.

McGonagall's patience was wearing dangerously thin. "Mr. Black," she sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose and giving the boy a hard stare, "is there a any particular reason that my hair is of such an interest to you? You do have your own to play with, perhaps one of your classmates could teach you to braid it?"

Sirius grinned as he ran his fingers through his hair,  _Ten points to Sirius._  "No products!" he exclaimed, whirling to face his classmates, "This is one of the few things from the  _Noble_ _House of Black_  that I simply cannot allow to be tainted."

The girls had mixed emotions; most, like Lily, wanted nothing to do with the miscreant's hair, but the more vindictive amongst them were intrigued. Sirius had thick, voluminous hair that fell to his shoulders, and a few of his female classmates were wondering what they could do with it. More specifically, they wanted to see what they could do  _to_  it.-

Sirius suddenly became very nervous for a very different reason, vaguely aware of what the looks he was getting meant. "Why am I suddenly afraid for my well being?" he whispered to his friends.

"Because you should be." Peter was watching his classmates warily, trying to ascertain whether he needed to pretend not to know Sirius or not. He was often just as guilty as the more well-known troublemakers, but the girls seemed only interested in wreaking havoc on Sirius's head of hair.

"Open season on Black!"

Sirius spun and slapped James in the back of the head. "Oi! Abandoning me now, are we?"

But James didn't respond; his eyes were locked on a witch across the room as she glowered at Sirius for distracting from the lesson his friend with death in her eyes.

"If you are quite done Mr. Black, I'd like to continue with my class." McGonagall's patience had worn through. Granted, it was no rare feat with Sirius Black at the helm.

Relief washed over him. Dark would be the day his classmates dared touch his precious hair.

"And I'd like to see you after class, Mr. Black."

"Bollocks" muttered Sirius under his breath.

"Five points from Gryffindor for language. You are beginning to push your luck this morning."

He opened his mouth, intending to inform his professor that he was, in fact, speaking  _English_ , but Peter scuffed him on the shoulder; the smaller boy was rightfully scared that the girls in their house would become a more significant issue if he lost them any more points, seeing as they'd already drained the Gryffindor hourglass of at least a hundred rubies since Christmas.

"When you are transfiguring two dissimilar objects, it is important to…"

Sirius stopped listening, his mind dreading the meeting with his professor in fifteen short minutes.

James's attention had not returned to the lecture either, Lily Evans still being the most interesting thing in the room. She sat at upright in her seat, listening with rapt attentiveness and scribbling far more notes than was usual, even for her. He ignored the fact that she was writing enough for herself  _and_  Remus combined, and focused instead on her expressions as McGonagall explained why the transfiguration of a mouse into a goblet would be more difficult than a porcupine into a pincushion.

Peter was, as always, completely lost. And as he often did when he did not follow what was being said, he drew, adding in the finer intricacies of the castle to their map. Their third floor corridors were out of line with the floors below, so he set to work as discreetly as he could. At least this way he was doing  _something_  useful.

"Mr. Black."

"Yes, I know, I know, if I have something to say to anyone, don't."

"Mr. Black?" McGonagall asked, her head cocking slightly to the side. She half hoped she'd heard him wrong. "Class is over."

Sirius jumped, his eyes widening in fear.  _Did I really just say what I think I said?_  It wouldn't be the first time his illusioned conversations with his delusional mother had leaked into reality. He could feel himself slipping, falling back under twelve years of rigid rules and loose laws, short tempers and long nights. He shrank into himself, leaving nothing but an empty mask.

Minerva was more uncertain now more than ever about passing on the contents of the letter to her student. She thought about shredding it, or burning it. The early traces of a smirk crept onto her face when she thought of clawing it to pieces, but he would have to go home eventually, and it would not do to make the situation worse.

"Just tell me already." Sirius was the image of formality, sitting up straight and establishing the posture that was ingrained into his very being. "What does dear Walburga have to say that she can't tell me through my twisted cousin?"

It took a deep breath and a moment to ground herself to reply. "Your mother is insisting that you return home for the Easter Holidays."

There was a sharpness in his eyes, a twisted darkness you'd think to find with fangs. His face gave nothing away, but his words were poison. "Wonder what the bitch has in store for me this time."

Sirius shoved his chair back and stormed out of the room, leaving McGonagall staring at his toppled seat. She couldn't bring herself to scold him for his foul tongue, not when any other words could properly have described Walburga Black.

* * *

Long, silvered shadows stretched across the forest floor, midnight winds gasping through the trees. Remus knew these trees - he knew better than to fear the monsters they hid from the light of day. After all, he was one of them.

He took a slow step forward, cursing himself for the cold shivers crawling up his spine. A branch snapped and he spun, eyes searching the forest frantically. There was nothing. I guess it's just me then, he thought, stepping carefully over the dead brush at his feet.

A few steps later, and he heard it again; not the snap of a stick, but the slow sigh of branches as someone - something - brushed by. He froze, every muscle screaming at him to take off through the darkness.

"Hello?" he squeaked, every inch a frightened child as his eyes searched the shadows.

Silence. His eyes pierced the midnight haze, locking onto a growing figure prowling in the wavering shadows. "Hello?" he managed again, his voice impossibly small.

Golden orbs glinted in the moonlight.

"Have you finally come to join us, Little Lupin Boy?" The shadow spoke in tones of gravelled snarls; more than a monster, less than a man.

"Join who?" Remus stumbled back, tripping over the roots that were embedded in the ground, but the man with golden eyes followed. "Who are you?"

_The man laughed, brandishing his yellowed teeth to the soft glow of the moon. His hair was filthy and matted, his face covered in scratches, and his hands… 'This was a man in desperate need of a manicure' he thought eying the long and ragged nails that protruded from his fingertips._

" _You mean your father didn't tell you?" The man's eyes were dancing with mirth as he continued to press towards the frightened boy before him. "Who am I kidding? Of course he didn't tell you. I can see it now… REMUS!"_

_The sound had come from the man's lips, but it was not his voice. This voice was younger, smoother. The man was still speaking but Remus didn't hear any of what he was saying; he could only see that great pleasure was being taken._

"Remus, WAKE  _UP!_ "

Suddenly, there was light and pain and the smell of antiseptic. Remus shot up in his bed in the infirmary to find two blurry people beside him, only to immediately regretted his movement as he felt the slash in his stomach threaten to rip open once more.

His vision was blurry and his head was spinning as a pair of soft hands pushed him back down onto his back. A spoon was at his lips,  _great, more medecine._  He accepted the spoon only to roll over and spit the stuff onto the floor once he heard Nurse Biddle move on.

The patient that had taken her attention was none other than Sirius Black. Remus now realised that his roommate, who sat across the aisle from him with horns protruding from his bleeding nose, was the person who had roused him to consciousness.

Remus groaned inwardly at the fact that his friend had seen him in the hospital wing.

Sirius groaned  _outwardly_ , and muttered several expletives that would've earned a bar of soap to the mouth were he in the presence or Hope Lupin, as Nurse Biddle removed the horns from his face. Remus felt sick watching it, and if he had had anything to eat in the last 48 hours, it would surely have landed right on top of the orange slime that he had spit up earlier.

He closed his eyes, trying to focus, trying to think of something that would calm his stomach, but all that came of this process was the man from his dream staring back at him. Staring with those golden eyes that looked like his own did when he was angry. His mind went into overdrive, picturing the yellowed incisors piercing his skin, then the claw-like fingernails slashing through his body, so he did not notice the nurse leave Sirius, nor did he see his friend creep up beside him; the antiseptic smell of the hospital made his head a bit fuzzy and it confused his sense of smell.

"My dear Remmy, what did you do this time?" he purred in Remus's ear, making him jump then wince as his healing skin tugged once more. "If  _I_ didn't live with you, I'd say you lived here."

Remus glared when his friend sat on his bed. "I could say the same about you and McGonagall's office" He was trying to get out of the spotlight, small as it may have been. Evans was one thing; she was a muggleborn who was ostracized as a student and who had not grown up with the tales of werewolves. Sirius on the other hand, grew up in the wizarding world, with a pureblood family that believed anything that was not 100% wizard should be cast aside or trodden upon.

But Sirius didn't want to talk either. "Ah ah Remmy, you first."

"How many times do I have to ask not to be called Remmy?" he asked, carefully crossing his arms.

"Rem? Remmykins? Reman? Remus the Roman? Get it?" Sirius pondered his suggestions for a moment.

"Are you serious?" Remus asked, appalled with all the options.

"Sirius Orion at your service."

"ARGH" Remus swallowed the growl "why do you have to change my name? how about just Remus" he pleaded.

Sirius grinned, "I agree." Remus relaxed into his pillows. "No need to re-train you, I think I'll stick with Remmy."

Remus groaned and tried to roll away from Sirius but succeeded only in rolling out of his bed. The impact with the floor was not particularly hard, but he was still badly bruised and battered from his tryst with the moon and the 'Shrieking Shack' as students were calling it.

"Shit Remus, What the bloody hell happened to you?" Sirius demanded when he saw the blood-soaked bandages that wrapped around Remus's chest. "Nurse! Remus is bleeding!"

He made to get up from the floor but found his energy sapped from the pain and the panic that flooded his system when he realized he was not wearing a shirt. He had, fortunately, been put into pyjama  _pants_. He then shuddered because  _he_  hadn't put them on himself. Then he shuddered because the footsteps that approached weren't the 'clicks' of Nurse Biddle, but rather the soft soled patter of her apprentice.

Her shadow loomed over the his prone body on the floor and he waited for the snarky comment that he generally encountered.

'"Are you  _trying_  to break your jaw again?" she quipped, "because if you liked the wiring so much all you had to do was ask."

Sirius laughed, though he did not fully understand the situation. Remus merely mumbled in protest against the cool tile of the floor.

Back on the bed, bandages changed, and Sirius kicked out, Remus relaxed slightly as Madam Pomfrey poured a Pain Relief Potion down his throat and waited until he had swallowed it before changing his bandages. He was relieved that Sirius had not pressed the question, but he knew that his friend would still be wondering what had happened to him, and Sirius was not one to forget something like this; he was too hard-headed and stubborn.

It was with that dread in mind that he feigned sleep that evening, waiting for both medical staff to turn to other duties in the hospital wing. When he could no longer hear them, he sat up exchanged the pyjamas he wore for the robes by his bed. Then he paused for a moment to ensure that he was still alone and crept out into the hallway.

Remus winced all the way to the Great Hall. He was sore and nauseous and limping, but he was also starving. Braving the pounding in his head that was only aggravated by the increase of movement, sound, and smells, Remus made his way through the great hall and took his place for dinner. He had long since claimed the place as his own, and as such, the house elves ensured that his utensils were not silver.

Today however, his brother sat in his habitual seat. "Rom, You're in my seat." he deplored with a frown.

Romulus, much to Remus's annoyance, smirked at his brother and patted the bench beside him.

"No," Remus was trying to be calm. Trying to be subtle, but Romulus was too easily distracted much of the time and he didn't stop to think about the small things. Like cutlery for instance. "I'd like to sit in  _my_  spot because  _I_  happen to like  _everything_  about that particular spot." At ' _everything'_  Remus shifted his eyes to the table where he had accidentally marked it while attempting to balance a knife on his nose.

It hadn't been  _his_  idea, he was smarter than that. It had been Peter's. And it had been a dare. A dare that he had barely completed before Snape had startled him; causing the werewolf to come very close to also becoming luscus. Fortunately for Remus, he had excellent reflexes so his eye, and possibly his brain, had been saved.

His pride had not. Professor Styne, who had witnessed the incident, had given his a rather stern verbal lashing.

Nevertheless, Romulus was sitting in  _his_  spot.

"Remus, just sit down. It's not like the rest of the places at the table have cooties or anything."

Brows around the entire table furrowed and turned on Romulus.

"Cuties?" asked Sirius, bewildered.

"I mean, three seats down from you has  _a_  cutie" offered James.

This comment was followed by a yelp from it's maker when a faint spark of red was seen to flash under the table. From approximately three seats down.

Rom looked to his brother for assistance. None was found. "Not  _cuties_ " corrected the Ravenclaw, " _cooties_ "

A collective "ooooohhh" rang out at the Gryffindor table, followed by Frank Longbottom of all people asking "So… What is a cootie exactly?"

Romulus dropped his head to the table, so Sirius looked to the nearest muggle-born to give him a hand.

Lily shrugged, equally confused, though less concerned. "Not a muggle thing" she said, raising her hands.

Romulus stared at her like she  _should_  know what he was talking about. "Come  _on_. You know about cooties, right Remus?"

Remus, who had yet to take a seat, shook his head in bewilderment. "No idea" he said, finally claiming the place that was not his own; though, he gave his brother  _and_  the silverware a rather pointed look before he did so.

Romulus, to his credit, caught the look and frowned at his plate, though there was not much he could do at this point without arousing suspicion. Instead of returning his place to his brother, Romulus served his sibling a bowl of soup, tossed the unused spoon into the broth, and returned to his chicken.

Sirius eyed his friend- who was prodding the spoon suspiciously- from across the table. "Are you alright mate? You look like shite."

"Fine" Remus muttered before stiffly spooning his soup into his mouth.

"You sure? You lost a lot of blood from what I saw. What even happened?"

Remus  _and_  Romulus froze. So did the rest of the table. All eyes were on the youngest of the Lupin children, and  _his_  eyes were being forced not to frantically dart around the room.

"What do you mean 'lost a lot of blood'?" James demanded, expressing his occasionally overbearing protectiveness of his friends.

"Remus, what did you do?"

"What happened?"

"Are you alright?"

"Everybody back off!" called Lily standing over the horde of concerned Gryffindors, who were now staring at her. "He has a headache so leave him be."

Gryffindor House quieted substantially, but their attention did not waver.

It was Sirius who asked what everyone was thinking. "How does a headache cause deep cuts that require more than just a spell to heal?" Most of the Gryffindors flicked their gaze from Remus, to Sirius, and back again. Clearly, Sirius knew something they didn't. "He was in the infirmary when I went up with nose horns" he supplied when he was met with questioning looks.

Had it been almost anyone else, eyebrows would have gone higher, but this was Sirius Black, and such events were not unusual. Dozens of eyes returned to Remus after shrugging off their housemate's antics.

They stared for a moment, and then another. "I was on my way down to the hospital and I fell down the stairs into a suit of armour." The Lupins held their breath for what felt like minutes, waiting for some sort of reaction from their peers. When, finally, someone snorted from down the table, the pair relaxed.

"I thought you were the graceful one."

"Yeah, the Ravenclaw Lupin is usually the clutz."

This elicited a spurt of laughter from the table, and those surrounding it who were in earshot. Romulus went red, not because of the comment though. No, he was  _well_  aware that he had two left feet. It was being referred to as 'the Ravenclaw Lupin' that bothered him. Ravenclaw or not, Romulus  _had_  been a hogwarts student first, and yet, no one seemed to be able to differentiate between the two brothers.

* * *

Saturday morning saw Sirius and Peter hauling out of the dorm for the Easter Holidays. Remus was, as usual, up before everyone, and offered to carry things down for Peter. Peter, who had yet to master the Locomotion charm and who could barely lift a cauldron by himself, appeared to be taking everything home with him for the week.

The remainder of the morning was spent wandering the corridors of the castle, purposefully avoiding James, because James had decided that  _Remus_  should help him win over Lily. Lily, who happened to still be rather annoyed with both of them after February. She had only spoken to Remus in passing and in the hospital wing, which at least meant that they were still friends. He hated to think that she was only visiting him after the full moon out of pity.

The witch in question had proven that she had no reservations about hexing the boys, and it was not something Remus wanted to experience again.

_The day began like any other Wednesday. Wednesday mornings were when Remus and Lily would perform their weekly 'Fact Check' session. Remus had not coined the term- he preferred 'Brain Dump'- but Lily stuck with it. The review occured in the Great Hall; more specifically, it occurred approximately one quarter of the way down the Gryffindor table at Remus's habitual spot. This left Lily in James's._

_Over their early breakfasts the pair would discuss their lessons and assignments from the last week, reviewing important topics and clarifying points that the other did not quite grasp. They had designated Tuesday evenings specifically for potions._

" _Why is_ melofors  _in with defense?" Lily asked. "Colour-changing has nothing to do with anything…What's so funny?" she demanded a snickering Remus._

" _You're thinking_ multicorfors.  _Melofors-"_

" _Encases an opponent's head in a pumpkin!" Lily's face lit up in remembrance of the correct effect of the spell._

_Remus nodded, fighting back the smile that was creeping its way onto his face. He was getting better at it, but a particular greasy-haired Slytherin chose that exact moment to walk into the Great Hall._

_Remus let slip a snort, and Lily followed his gaze._

" _Remus!" she exclaimed, whirling back around to face him. "_ You  _turned Severus's head into a pumpkin!?"_

" _No?" Remus tried. He was countered by piercing green eyes that were daring him to lie. He held his ground until she quirked an inquisitive-yet-knowing eyebrow. "Well I_ didn't"  _defended Remus. "I didn't! Not really! His skull was still bone- I just surrounded it in pumpkin!"_

_By the end of the confession, Remus had shrunk so far back on the bench that he slipped off the edge. He witnessed, for a fraction of a second before his head dipped below the table, a small flicker on Lily's lips. Be that as a result of his logic or his impending meeting with the floor, he did not know._

" _You woke up on the wrong side of the_ castle  _this morning Remmy."_

 _With his transformation coming in a three days, it took a moment to blink back the stars and the pounding in his head before he was able to recognize Sirius making a move for his spot._ Remus's  _spot. The same spot he had sat in for every meal since arriving at the castle. Headache or not, brain feeling dead or not, he was still bursting with energy._

_Sirius was replacing Remus very quickly on the floor._

_Upon returning to his seat, the werewolf found three people staring at him from across the table. Well, two; Peter was staring at Lily- who was in_ his  _usual seat._

" _You could just sit in the next seat." commented James with a wry smile._

_Remus crossed his arms and glared at his friend._

" _I still don't get why_ he  _gets to kick people out of his spot but I don't." Lily rolled her eyes and stood at Peter's whining, vacating her seat on the bench to appease the small Gryffindor._

_Peter never did get the chance to sit down though. "Trade you seats alright mate?" asked James, sitting tall, with a look of bliss on his face._

_The grumbling that followed was drowned out by the arrival of the morning post. Owls flooded the hall with papers, letters, valentines, and gifts. Many searched the parliament of birds in expectation. Others watched with curiosity as the owls made their rounds, looking to see what foolish and frivolous gifts were being delivered._

_No one was more surprised than Lily when a barn owl dropped a large package in front of her. Inside was a card. A bouquet of lilies, and a large box of chocolates._

_Curious, she read the card, her frown deepening as she read further and further. James was_ not  _a poet._

" _Ow!" exclaimed the failed writer when the flowers were violently returned to sender._

" _You were in on this?" she demanded of Remus as he tried to reach covertly for the discarded sweets. He said nothing, following his mother's rules about speaking with food in one's mouth, and the silence was taken as a confirmation._

_She left before he could swallow._

_Valentine's Day had not gotten any better as it progressed. To add to the pain of James's pitiful attempts to get Lily to like him, Remus was dealing with an onslaught of horrid smells from perfumes that would have been more pleasant had they been made by Pépé Le Pew._

_James had been researching for weeks-without the help of his bookworm roommate- to figure out how to entrance the girl he had become smitten with. He managed to figure out how to make the suits of armour move and speak; Every time that Lily Evans passed a so-affected suit, it would drop to a knee and begin to profess love in the form of a horribly written poem or jingle in a clangy and echoey version of James's voice._

_Lily was certain that Remus had helped. Especially when the hollow knight outside the History of Magic classroom spoke._

_How do I love thee? Let me count the ways._  
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height  
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight  
For the ends of being and ideal grace.  
I love thee to the level of every day's  
Most quiet need, by sun and candlelight.  
That was as far as it had gone. In her embarrassment and anger, the armour was blasted to pieces, James wound up running from the bats that had flown from his nose, and Remus found himself once again hairless..

_His inquiry of "What did I do?" was met with a glare, a slew of hexes that had Remus dancing and dodging for at least ten minutes, and a cold shoulder for the remainder of the month- save the day after the full moon when Lily could not bring herself to abandon him. The instant he left the infirmary however, he was once again ignored._

He was still being ignored. Unless he was with James, in which case he  _wished_ he was. It hurt less, and he still wasn't exactly sure  _why_  his study partner was angry with him.

Inevitably, they still wound up together in the library three days after the break had begun. Remus groaned into his transfiguration book when she walked in. He could've sworn that he had seen James following her and Snape to the owlery, and yet there she was, mere minutes after Remus himself had arrived, her books in one hand, and a copy of the  _daily Prophet_  clutched in the other.

He tried to blend into the bookshelves. Tried to shrink away and make himself a smaller target for his friend- at least, he hoped they could still be friends- to hit.

It didn't work.

She sat down at his table and peered through the wall of books that had been constructed in a half-hearted attempt to hide himself once more. "I'm not going to hex you any more."

Remus grunted in disbelief, keeping his head below his shield of literature.

Lily rolled her eyes at his childish antics. He may only be thirteen but he was generally more mature than this. "I'm sorry alright? Mary told me she lent Peter the book.I'm sorry for hexing you"

Light brown hair rose slowly from behind the books until a pair of nervous green eyes emerged. "Why did you assume it was me?" he asked warily, still refusing to present more of a target.

She sighed. "Honestly, I was angry with you about Severus" Remus winced at the memory. "But I also figured that there was no way that James knew any  _actual_  poetry, and you're the best read…"

"James  _can_  read you know." he said with a smirk, finally sitting up straight.

He received another roll of the eyes. "I never said he couldn't" The smile fell from her face, replaced with guilt as her gaze fell to the table at which she sat. "Can you forgive me?" she asked, her tone more serious.

Remus, feeling much more like himself once more, tapped his chin, his head raised in mock thought. "Hmm.." he said pensively, "That depends, what do I get out of it?"

"Another intelligent lifeform?" she quipped, previous feelings of guilt wiped away.

Remus cocked his head and gripped his chin, as though weighing the offer.

Lily upped the ante before he had a chance to refuse the first offer. "Fine." She reached into her bag and withdrew a large bar of chocolate and a bag of chocolate frogs.

"Done," he replied instantly, his eyes glued to the presented snatched them up and stuffed them in his own book bag before Madam Pince could have a chance to see them and ban him from his sanctuary. "Anything good in the  _Prophet_  this morning?" he asked around a mouthful of chocolate, regardless of the fact that he had just hidden the rest; one simply could not receive such a glorious gift and then  _ignore_  it after all.

Lily's face fell. You didn't see it this morning?"

"No," he replied with a smile, "How can I be expected to avoid you if I show up for meals?" At her concerned-yet-interrogating glare, he too dropped his smile. Slightly. "I've been eating in the kitchens, don't look so worried." Her eyes narrowed at the mention of the kitchens, presumably because they were  _supposed_  to be off limits to students, and Remus's smile came back full force. "So, anything interesting?" he asked again, leaving the dangerous territory of his delinquency.

One again, Lily looked worried. She fiddled with the newspaper for a few moments before handing it over, her eyes never leaving her friend's face.

_MAULINGS IN LEEDS:_

_WEREWOLF ATTACKS ON THE RISE_

**A/N I hope you enjoyed this chapter despite the wait for it, and again, I'm sorry about that. Comments, quesrtions, concerns, ideas, queries, conundrums?**   _ **PLEASE**_ **let me know. Aka, review.**

**One Eyed Wolf, OUT- 18 Feb.2019**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N I hope you enjoyed this chapter despite the wait for it, and again, I'm sorry about that. Comments, quesrtions, concerns, ideas, queries, conundrums? PLEASElet me know.
> 
> One Eyed Wolf, OUT- 18 Feb.2019


	29. News

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you got a notification and are hoping to see a new chapter then I'm sorry, this is just the beta'd chapter 29. Please note that I still don't make any money from this.

**23 April 1973**

The atmosphere in the castle was fairly subdued after the arrival of the  _ Prophet _ _ ’s _ shattering headline. He didn’t like to think so, but had he been standing, Remus would  probably  have fallen over. He’d snatched up the paper and read it in a  daze . Then he had dropped his head to the table with a dispirited groan. The  _ first _ page depicted the brutal slurry of attacks that had occured in the Yorkshire area, and the  _ second  _ page article highlighted the updates to the Werewolf Code of Conduct, which - in Remus’s opinion - was just a contract with which to surrender one’s freedom.

_ With the rise in werewolf-perpetrated attacks on the wizarding and muggle populations of Yorkshire alike, a proposal was filed to re-draft the Werewolf Code of Conduct in the hopes of diminishing future acts of violence. Dolores Umbridge, of the Improper Use of Magic Office presented her draft to the wizengamot Monday.  _ __   
  


_ The most significant clauses added to the document include: _

_3.ii._ _Lycanthropes are required to report, within thirty-six hours of a full moon, any incursion that resulted in the death, injury, or infection of another living being._

 _3.iii_ _Lycanthropes must transform in a suitably warded or isolated location. In either case, the location must be greater than five (5) miles from  persons who are uninformed of the presence of a transformed werewolf and from any persons under the age of seventeen regardless of their awareness of the situation._

 _4.i._ _Persons infected with Lycanthropy are prohibited from public institutions, unless specifically summoned by a legal authority,_

 _6.vi_ _In seeking employment, services, or residence, all Werewolf applicants must identify themselves as such_

 _6.vii._ _All werewolves leaving and entering the country, requesting international travel, or interacting with foreign dignitaries must make known their affliction to the relevant board._

_ The fully updated Code can be found in the Beast Division office of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures.  _

 

_ Umbridge further proposed an institution for werewolf containment and research, and an expansion to the Werewolf Registry. The recommendation for an institution was heavily backed by the Wizengamot, and is currently being reviewed.  _

_ The proposed expansion to the Werewolf Registry would see the inclusion of information such as the date of the bite, the geographical location, and the perpetrator- if known. Umbridge would also like to see the Registry extend to all persons who have been bitten regardless of the age of the victim. This point is the subject of much controversy because it’s implementation would violate many of the current laws that are in place to protect minors in the wizarding world. The other side of the argument... _

By the time he reached the part in the article that indicated that he might have to register  _ before _ he turned 17, Remus had had enough, and the paper was smoldering on the edges where he was holding it. Lily’s copy of that morning’s  _ Daily Prophet _ was confetti before she had the chance to say anything.

“Remus-”

But Remus cut her off. “I don’t want to hear it.” 

“But-”

“ _Please_ leave me alone.” he nearly growled, his eyes hinting the aggravation he felt as he snatched up his things and stormed out of the Library, leaving Lily frozen speechless in his wake.

Remus  bolted  up the stairs, running just to vent,  growling  to himself all the way, and pausing only once to avoid detection by Mr. Filch, who would surely find that he was doing  _ something _ wrong.  

“Barmy politicians taking away what  little  freedom I have left…” That was when he noticed the copy of the  _ Prophet _ that had been discarded on a bench in the third floor corridor. “Argh!” The paper was ashes moments after he picked it up, but Remus was too distracted to care. “That Umbridge woman needs to crawl into a hole and…”

“Meow”

“That woman is fighting for a safer world. I’d be careful what you say next Lupin.”

Remus responded by glaring at the grizzled caretaker. Filch may not have been old, but he often looked as though he was either eighty, or had just been dragged a mile and blasted with wind. His cat didn’t look much better.

_ Does Filch know about me?  _ Remus asked himself, analyzing the man before him with his glare.  _ It seems unlikely, nevertheless… _ “That  _ woman _ is destroying lives of innocent people.” he all but growled. 

“I’d hardly call eating children innocent. And I’d drop the attitude boy.”

Not willing to risk venting his rage on the caretaker, Remus kept his mouth shut and stalked past him. Borris, to his credit, seemed to sense that Remus should not be aggressed, though he did let out his own feline growl. 

“ _ Multicorfors” _

* * *

 

The room at the top of the tower was large, and airy, and filled with trinkets form all over the globe. It was also meticulously clean and organized; a stark contrast from the controlled sprawl of Professor McGonagall’s office. The sun was ducking below the mountains when Professor McGonagall escorted Remus up to the headmaster’s office, bathing the dozens of past  H eads in a muted red glow. 

The headmaster himself sat with his hands folded on the mahogany of his desk, a copy of the morning's paper in front of him.

That’s when the  panic set in . 

Remus was calm when his head of house had come into the common room to fetch him. 

_She had found Remus_ _and Lily lounging on the sofa by the crackling fire, feet up, noses buried in books and Remus's hand hovering protectively over his chocolate stash, protecting it from scavengers as he consumed it with written words. He had finally returned to the tower an hour before, after spending several wandering the castle and it’s grounds._

_ Professor McGonagall’s voice was the only one that brought him out of his reading, because, well, when one lived with James Potter and Sirius Black,  _ _ the  _ _ ability to ignore what was happening in the immediate vicinity was  _ _ a survival skill _ _.  _ _ W _ _ ithout it, he would never get anything done in the presence of his friends, and he would have been dragged into many more of their petty pranks. Remus couldn’t just go for any prank; it had to be worthy. Marinated in mischief and sauteed with wit and cleverness, and a dash of subtlety never hurt either. Nevertheless, he would not waste his time on such antics as planting dungbombs in a classroom. That was just pitiful. _

_ “Mr. Lupin, could you come with me please?” _

_ Instantly, his head snapped to attention, and he almost- almost- lost the chocolate frog that was squirming in his mouth. He almost lost it because, against all his mother’s teachings, he opened his mouth when there was still food in it..  _

_ “Ye- Oh no you don’t!” The sweet was reprimanded with a flick on the nose while it dangled from Remus’s fingers.  _

_ The Professor raised her brown at Lily, who replied with a shrug of the shoulders and “He does this sort of thing all the time” to which McGonagall rolled her eyes at her chocolate-scolding student. _

_ Attention back on track, McGonagall cleared her throat. “I do believe that even Lyall would have taught his son that food is not to be played with.” _

_ Remus froze with a sheepish grin on his face. “Oh no Professor, my mum tried that and then Dad went and showed me how to dissect kappas, except sometimes they were still squirming a bit.” _

_ He grinned at his professor, stuffed his subdued chocolate frog unceremoniously into his mouth, marked his place in his book, and stood, still enjoying his treat. Then he silently pleaded with Lily to guard his chocolate for him and left. When he reached the portrait hole, he found that his professor had yet to follow. She was still standing by the fire, pinching the bridge of her nose and internally raving about how sure she had been that she had at least one male student that wasn’t completely corrupted. She took a deep breath and joined her last hope in the corridor. _

His breathing had been regular as he followed Professor McGonagall through the halls of Hogwarts. 

He had even snickered when his professor had uttered the password. ‘Gummy Bears’ was not something he had ever expected to hear the transfiguration teacher say. 

His heart rate had not bumped 60 beats per minute when he ascended the stairs that were guarded by the gargoyle. 

The panic  hadn’t started until Remus saw the  _ Daily Prophet _ on the desk in front of his headmaster.  _ Then _ the hyperventilation  kicked in .

He froze. Right in the middle of the doorway, and right in front of McGonagall. He noted the somber expression on Professor Dumbledore’s face.

“Right.” Defeated, Remus wheeled around his escort and began to make his way back down the stairs. He made it all of three steps before there was a hand on his shoulder pulling him back into the round office. 

“Remus,” began Dumbledore softly, “where do you think you are going?”

The hand- which obviously belonged to Professor McGonagall- steered him to one of the chairs in front of the desk and plunked him down with more force than he felt was necessary.

Remus squared his shoulders. Though he kept his eyes on the polished floor. “To collect my things and pack my trunk.”

HIs face stung as something slapped his cheek, and Remus was not the only one who was startled by the action; Albus Dumbledore was glaring bemusedly at the member of his staff that had just slapped a student. 

“Minerva!”

The professor in question had the grace to look abashed, though she hardly appeared regretful of her actions. “I’m sorry Albus, but I simply cannot allow such stupidity from my students.” Her gaze turned accusatory. “I expected better from you Remus.”

“ What? ” Remus  said , breaking the glare that had been fixed on him, and cutting off the headmaster before he had a chance to reprimand his faculty a second time. Then he tread cautiously in the unknown waters he was beginning to explore. “I’m  _ not _ getting expelled?”

“What gave you that daft idea?” Remus was once again fixed with a trademark glare that had unnerved hundreds of students in the few years she had been teaching. 

“Correct me if I’m wrong, but am I not  _ barred _ from public institutions?” Remus asked bitterly, though rhetorically. “Am I not breaking several laws just by continuing to be here?”

Dumbledore folded his hands on his desk and regarded his pupil with sadness. How could one so young be put through such trials? How could a boy of thirteen be capable of feeling such bitterness and resentment? He needed to put a stop to this; childhood was a time to be worry-free and to grow. Besides,  _ technically _ the boy hadn’t broken any laws. 

“Remus,” he began, his voice firm yet gentle. “May I ask you a question?”

“I shall be in my office if you need me Albus.” With a final stare at her student, Professor McGonagall swept her way out of the office and down the stairs.

Still shocked at his professor’s recent mannerism, Remus’s head swiveled slowly back around, only to be met with a raised eyebrow.

“I suppose.” he said with a sigh. 

“Are you on the Werewolf Registry?”

The question shocked Remus, not only was it blunt, but it was also completely out of the blue and something that he had never heard mentioned aloud in conversation. “No.” His voice came out rather small, but not as small as Remus himself wanted to be in that instant. 

Albus Dumbledore either took no note of his pupil’s discomfort, or he did not care, for he continued the line of questioning. “Have you had your rights-”

“What rights?” Remus scoffed. 

“Have you ever had your rights as a werewolf read to you?”

“Why does this sound like I’m going to be arrested?”

“Focus Mr Lupin.”

“No, I have not had my  _ rights _ ” he said the word with as much mockery and sarcasm as his voice could hold, “read to me.”

“Are you legally bound to the Werewolf Code of Conduct?” Dumbledore held him in place with a look that said: ‘you will not leave this office until you agree with me’.

Remus scowled, crossed his arms, and drew his feet in. “Not  _ technically. _ But-”

“No buts my boy.” The headmaster stood from his own chair and placed himself in the remaining seat on the other side of his desk. “You are not in violation of any laws, and as you are not yet an adult, you are not required to register. Therefore you will not be acting illegally for some time.”

Remus opened his mouth once more to speak, with the briefest glance to the  _ Prophet _ that still lay open on the desk, but he was stayed with Dumbledore’s raised hand. “Madam Umbridge has much less sway than she likes to think she does. It will take much pull and time for the Wizengamot to alter the laws regarding the release of information of minors.”

Some of the tension released from Remus’s shoulders, but he was still not at peace. He turned his attention to the bird that had flown in through the open window. It perched itself on the desk in front of Remus and shook out it’s red and gold feathers. 

Noticing the wide eyes of his student, 

Dumbledore began to introduce the bird. “This is Fawkes, he-”

“A phoenix.” stated Remus in awe. “I thought they were extinct. Dad hasn’t even come across one; not even in the Balkans.” Tentatively, Remus extended his hand to the bird, fully expecting to be ignored, bittern, or scratched. He remembered perfectly well how most animals tended to react to him, but there he was, sitting before the awe and glory of a phoenix. He couldn’t  _ not _ . When his hand did not begin to sting, the young werewolf opened his eyes, and he nearly jumped out of his chair. 

Fawkes was staring right back at him. The bird cocked it’s head to the side when Remus flinched, but once he had settled again, the bird fluttered over and perched itself on Remus’s outstretched arm. His jaw dropped in awe and pride as the phoenix settled and allowed him to stroke it’s back. It chirped, pecked Remus’s finger lightly, and flew up to a copper perch that  hung from the vaulted ceilings . 

Remus stopped craning his neck and noted, rather pleased with himself, that his finger was bleeding from an injury that wasn’t self-inflicted. So, like  any  other thirteen year old boy, he stuck it in his mouth. And then he snickered when his headmaster cringed slightly. 

“Was there anything else, Sir?”

“Yes,” The old man snapped back into focus. “Though the law does not specifically apply to you, you must understand that if you  _ are  _ discovered here, you will be forcefully removed and likely placed in the facility th is Madam Umbridge plans to build.”

Remus did n’ t need  any  more motivation to keep his secret. He knew exactly what would happen to his life if he was discovered - it was  already  rather unpleasant  _ without _ being institutionalized. 

“Yeah,” he drawled, I’ll  lose  what little  freedom  I have  and the entire staff’ll get a one-way ticket to Azkaban. ”  _ So no pressure or anything, It’s just my life and the livelihood of everyone that works here … _ Remus made to stand, assuming that that had been the end of Dumbledore’s heart-to-heart. He was wrong.

“One last thing, Remus.  S hould anyone come to understand your monthly absences, send them to me. I will do what I can to resolve the problem.”

_ I can’t promise that _ . Remus nodded anyway  Dumbledore offered an encouraging smile and a nod of his own, indicating that Remus was now free to leave.

* * *

 

When the rest of the student population returned from their holidays a few days later, the  the castle felt no less empty. Several students had friends among those attacked by what was being called the Nightcrawlers, and one, Emily Addams, a muggle-born  girl  with whom Remus had shared his inauguration, had been among the dead.

And so, it was with that in mind that that the students returned to a somber meal straight off the train. Even Sirius and James were unnaturally quiet as they ate, using their forks, knives, and napkins as they were intended for the first time since Remus had known them.

Dumbledore made a speech before releasing them to their dorms, but very few of the students heard more than a drone. There was no scraping of benches, or burst of activity, or rush for the doors. Wordlessly, the crowd of black-robed students parted to let the Hufflepuffs out the doors first. Hufflepuff was the only house wearing their colours that evening, and even then, it was only the younger years and the ir prefects; the rest had n’ t felt that they had known Emily well enough to pay such homage.  T hey felt that it was more appropriate to mourn the loss to Hogwarts as opposed to just  the  Hufflepuff s . 

Nevertheless,  yellow was  the only colour to be seen the rest of the way from the Great Hall- the portraits had all either removed themselves from the common halls or dressed down in respect . The only outlier  was the  feline  flash of  neon  pink and turquoise that prowled the corridors.

* * *

 

Over the next few days, the atmosphere of the castle slowly built back up to a semi-pleasant level. Classes returned to their regular vigour, and students once again began to smile for more than a fleeting moment. But still, Hogwarts was not  the same . 

A pair of black-haired troublemakers that hovered just below the five-foot mark felt that that should change. 

It had started slowly, with the question about Borris. A question Remus very quickly regretted answering.

“Hey Remus,”

Remus pulled himself from his battered copy of _Defending the Mind_ to face James. He had been, hovering around his chair by the fire for quite some time, and Remus had successfully ignored him until now - because now, he was practically sitting in his roommate’s lap.

“What?”  Remus  asked irritably, trying to shove James off his bed.

“How long has Filch’s cat looked like candy floss?

“About a week.” he replied, trying to read around his friend ’s  slight  form.

“Filch hates the cat being anything other than mangy grey? Why would he leave it so long? Why doesn't he just reverse the charm?”

“I don’t think he can.” 

It took all of twenty milliseconds for Remus to notice the look that James was giving him and to realize what he had done. 

“My dear, Remmy,” he played out the words, letting them roll off his tongue and feed on the guilt that Remus was feeling. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”

Remus swallowed nervously. “No?”

James’s grin was beginning to look painful, unnatural even.  Only a few points shy of malicious. “Try again.”

“I sincerely hope not?”

Now the hazel eyes were sparkling. They met Remus’s green and then James was bounding down the stairs to the common room, presumably to share the revelation with his partner in crime.

* * *

 

Remus was  less than  surprised when Argus Filch stormed into the Great Hall the next morning with a black and yellow cat in his arms. He  _ was _ surprised when the entire hall went dark and fireworks began bursting yellow sparks around the room, exploding in the faces of students, and coating them in canary yellow dye. He was  _ annoyed  _ that one of those face was his.

Hogwarts went back to normal after that. Sure, there were still times when an uncomfortable silence would befall a group, or when laughter would die abruptly only to be replaced with repressed tears, but life had to go on. 

The Gryffindor boys definitely had. And Remus, who had flung himself into the occlumency text McGonagall had lent him, had been dragged along to detention a couple of times as punishment for the ‘breaks’ that Peter and James had insisted he take.

But in his spare time, Remus would find himself curled up in some nook in the wall or, if James and Sirius were out at quidditch practice with Peter trailing behind, his bed, running himself ragged with practise. attempting to practice the teachings of his book.Even of he was left to his own devices in his dormitory, he would put up silencing charms to ensure that he would be distraction-free. Peter had a habit of returning from watching quidditch practices when he decided it was too wet, too cold, too windy, too warm, or too bright, and Peter was _not_ quiet.

Clearing one’s mind was apparently not an effective technique for werewolves to use, because, as Remus had discovered, a clear mind was a clear path for his beastly alter ego to break through. It only happened once, but once was enough to ditch that method. He wasn’t sure if he should count himself lucky that Sirius had burst into the dorm moments after he’d succeeded in clearing his mind, because he had woken up on the floor crawling towards a shoe with no recollection of how he had gotten there. 

The sound of the door slamming open had thrust the controls of Remus’s body back into his own metaphorical hands.

He had yet to find another method to try  from his  book, but he was determined to make this work out, and since he didn’t know any other occlumens, the library would have to do.

“Pince is coming.”

“Just a second, I’m almost there.”

“Remus, she’s coming  _ now _ !”

Book in hand, Remus jumped down, landing softly on the carpet just as the librarian passed through their aisle.

Lily turned to glare at him once the coast was clear. “Why couldn’t you just use a ladder?”

Remus shrugged. “It’s three rows down.” Lily hardened her glare. “Besides, this way is more fun.”

“How many detentions have you had from doing things the ‘fun way in the library?”

Remus averted his eyes, his cheeks warming. “Just in the library?”

“ Oh, for the love of -- just h ow many detentions  _ have _ you managed anyway?”Lily scanned her friend’s face,  eyeing the red in his cheeks with mounting suspicion . 

He mumbled something incoherent and tried to dodge around her to return to his chosen table with the book he had picked off the dustiest shelf in the Defensive Magic section. She sidestepped and blocked his path.

“ _ AAAACHOOO _ !”

Lily  staggered  back in the awkward silence that followed the dusty explosion of sound. “What was that?” 

“Have you never heard someone sneeze before, Evans?” he asked with a sniffle. 

Had it been one of his male friends, he would have been  rightly  thumped on the shoulder. Girls, he learned, did not do the whole ‘physical violence’ thing unless they were properly miffed. Girls, Lily Evans in particular , enjoyed making their prey feel increasingly uncomfortable  by  saying nothing at all.

“...should I take that as a no?”

“How many.” Not a question.

“Well,” he hummed, tapping his chin and squinting at nothing, “I’ve been sneezing all my life, hypersensitive nose or not, so I couldn’t really count --”

“Before that, you  git .”

Remus’s ears were practically glowing. “Nineteen.” he muttered before ducking around her and fleeing to the safety of the library commons, where there would undoubtedly be a prefect or adult presence to deter any Lily from lashing out at him.   
Remus buried his nose in the book for a few hours more, one part out of interest, another out of a desperation to control himself, and two parts from an innate, rather _Slytherin_ sense of self-preservation that would last as long as it took Lily Evans to calm down. Two hours generally did the trick-unless James had something to do with it.

* * *

 

Lily, as it turned out, was still annoyed, though  her ire was blissfully no longer his problem . 

“Pettigrew, you little prat!”

Remus was halfway back out the portrait hole  before  he was spotted. He let out a puff of air that was intended to remove the hair that hung in his face. Snape had taken great amusement in growing it out in the corridor some five minutes earlier. What had  once  been peach fuzz had grown out to be  a  shaggy  mess , though it was not long enough to be tied up. The Slytherin had intended to make it longer, long enough for Remus to put it up. He had frozen when Remus smiled and waved. He ran when Remus thanked him.

In that instant, Remus was reminded as to why he had never let it get this long before. It wasn’t just falling into his face, it was  blocking his view . 

“Remus  Lupin ! Don’t  you  think you  can  get out of this so easily!”

Remus looked from Lily, to Peter, to the rest of the Gryffindors as they fought to stand their ground or contain their books and papers. Then he took two more steps back. He was not in the mood to deal with something like this. Not after he’d been accosted by Snape and Filch on his way up from the library, add to that that Professor Dumbledore apparently wanted to see him, his head pounded and he was feeling in edge. 

“Watch me.” he called to his housemates, as he closed the portrait hole and blocked the tornado- courtesy of Peter- that was ransacking Gryffindor House from view. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Questions? Concerns? Ideas? Suggestions? I woulr really love tsome feedback if you can spare a few seconds. Thanks,  
> One-Eyed Wolf, OUT, 17 March 2019


	30. A Summons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CHAPTER 30! and 90k words...I didn't think i'd actually take it this far, so yay me. Apologies on the late update, I've been on a weird schedule lately, but here it is!  
> *JKR owns almost all.

**18 May 1973**

“Good morning, Remus”

“Mornin ’ , Lily” he mumbled without looking up from his breakfast.  He stared through the cold sludge,  nickel  spoon limp in his hand.

“Are you alright?” she asked cautiously.  S he couldn’t see any bandages or  new scars ,  but that didn’t make him look any less awful.  Lily couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen him so shaken; face pale, grip slack, eyes haunted.  _ Something’s eating at him _ , she decided,  _ and it’s got to do with why he’s not eating his food.  _

“M’fine.” 

Lily hummed, eyes locked on her friend. “Yeah, and I’m in love with James Potter.”

“Oh , really?”  He didn’t even bother to look up. “When’d that happen? I must've missed it.”

“You really should go see Nurse Biddle, or  Madam Pomfrey if she’s still away. You  look two spooks short a proper haunting. ”

“Nope.”  He spent enough time in that bloody hospital wing,  _ thank you very much. _

“ _ Remus _ .”

“Lily,” he countered, “Did you ever go to Dumbledore about…”

“No, I only talked to McGonagall. I thought you were going to tell him,”  she said, “and stop changing the subject! You’re sick with something, but at least you’re enough yourself to be stubborn about it, yeah?”

Remus grunted and  let his spoon  clatter against the bowl .

Lily sighed and  pulled away his oatmeal, slapping two fluffy pancakes down in front of him.  “At least eat  _ something _ . At this point I think even Slughorn could tell  you  Blunder Twins apart.” 

Remus snorted and shot her a half grateful look before toppling fell onto his pancakes, his nose whistling softly. Lily shook her head and pulled out her potions book.

* * *

 

“Remus.” 

Remus groaned and twitched, dragging his pancake with his face when his cheek slid off the plate

“Remus” Sirius tried again,  with similar results.

“How long has he been like this?” Peter asked as he plopped himself onto the bench.

Lily  glanced  up from her work and her eyes fell to her dozing housemate. Then she looked at her wristwatch. The self-winding watch had been a present from her parents when she turned eleven; just before she found out she was a witch. “About thirty minutes.”

“ _Bloody--”_ James balked. “Why did he get up so early if he’s this tired?”

“I don’t know,  Prince  Potter,  you can wake him up to  _ ask _ , if you like, or stuff it and let the poor bloke sleep!”

Say what you want about James Potter. He knew a rhetorical question when he heard one.  _Wait, that wasn't a question was it?_

The boys were content to let Remus sleep until they needed to grill him in class. It was But there was an owl warily circling squawking about his head,, and Sirius was rather worried if the bird didn’t discharge its letter it would _discharge_ something else for _all_ of Gryffindor to enjoy with their bacon. 

Sirius wrestled the letter away from the tawny beast, scowling down at the letter as he wiped nicked fingers on his napkin. The Ministry seal scowled back.

“Remus , ”  he said.

Groan. Silence.

“Remus?” Peter tried, poking his arm.

_ Twitch _ , groan. Silence.

“Remus!” 

Twitch. Groan. Mumble. James’s attempt had been accompanied by a flick on the nose in a passive attempt to wake his sleeping friend. 

“OUCH!”

Remus smile d into his folded arms .

“Would you care to kick any harder?” James hissed through his teeth. “I  think  I can still walk.”

His smile grew into a  smirk.  He hauled himself off the table and sat back on the bench. “Mmm’nin’,” he slurred, head drooping back against his chest.

Three sets of eyes trained on their friend as though he’d grown a third head and named himself Fluffy.  “Uh, Remmy?”  Remus was too tired to glare at Sirius for the frankly  _ ridiculous _ nickname. “ Y ou alive , mate ?”

“You meant awake, right?” Peter asked timidly.

“Oh no, I meant alive, Pete,” Sirius said,  “'cause  this tosser looks closer to dead than Professor Binns.

“What happened, Rem?” James leaned forward on the table, brow furrowed as he searched for Remus’ gaze.

“Jus’ tired.” _Don’t look up, don’t look up, don’t look up_.

Sirius shoved a mug of coffee under his nose. 

“Remus doesn’t drink coffee,  Black,  he drinks tea.” Lily gestured to the cooled, half drunk cup that sat above Remus’s plate. 

“Yes, and that did a wonderful job of waking him up now didn’t it?” Sirius poked his friend’s arm gently. “Come on Remus, drink up. You have mail from the ministry.”

_ Oh no. _ Remus forced himself up from the table with shaky arms.

“Drink up now,” James chided. Remus did so, long and deep,  praying his nerves would soak up the caffeine and jack up their defenses. 

At least SIrius knew that he liked it hot.

“Remus!” There was Rom, a boy who should  _ never _ ingest caffeine. “I finally heard back from BEAR.”

“You talk to bears in Canada?”  Half a dozen ignorant pureblood eyes locked on Rom. He smiled sweetly back. 

“Yes, I call her Winnipeg.”

“Really?” asked Peter, “Is Winnipeg like a pet or something?”

“Yup. Winnie is-”

“A fictional character.” Lily cut in, glaring. “It’s cruel to do things like that to them,  you know .”

“Actually, Winnipeg  _ was _ a real bear.”

Curious eyes went to Remus, who had just drained his cup. 

“So Canadians  _ actually _ keep bears as pets?” If Peter’s eyes bugged any more they’d fall out of his head.

“No.” Now Lily was glaring at Remus, too. “BEAR,” she said  slowly,  to Peter, who was sucking up the tale with the most ease, “stands for the Bureau of Enforcement, Arrest, and Restraint. It’s like the Department of Magical Law Enforcement , but in Canada .”

“What did you do to get mixed up in the DMLE?” There was Peter again, asking all the  awkward questions.

Remus glanced warily to his brother. “We should take this outside,”

Mutters and conjecture followed the pair as Remus dragged himself off the bench and led his sibling to an empty classroom on the first floor, letter in hand.

* * *

 

With the coast clear, Remus closed the door  on the empty classroom . “Did they find your mum?”

“Yup. And Ben said she’s right pissed, though she hasn’t really gotten to speak with anyone.”

“So she didn’t do it?”

“Don’t think so, at least not on purpose.” the boys sat at the nearest desks, which inevitably caused a clouds of dust to swirl around the room. 

“AAACCHHOOO!” Remus was almost propelled backward with the force of his  sneeze , and he almost wished he  was .  At this point he’d rather a rail spike to the brain than these headaches.

His brother leaned forward to scrutinize. “Are you supposed to be out of the infirmary yet?”

“I feel fine.”

“ Yeah, well, y ou don’t look it”

“I can’t keep losing  _ days  _ of class every time.” Remus grumbled, pressing his pointer fingers to his temples in an attempt to stem the pain. “Can we get back to the point?” He withdrew his fingers in favour of closing his eyes to stem the pain. “What did BEAR want?”

“Oh, right. I’ve been summoned to the ministry for a… well, I don’t remember what it was called, but it’s on Tuesday.”

“A weekday? Don’t they realize you have classes to attend?”

“I’m just glad they’re doing it in London instead of Ottawa.”  Rom shudder ed . “I  _ hate _ international floo travel.” It was then that  he  noticed the envelope by Remus’s elbow. “Did they summon you, too?”

“Hmm?” Then Remus remembered the letter himself. “Uh, I haven’t opened it yet.” He didn’t need to look up to feel the look that the other Lupin was giving him, but he did anyway. Then he regretted it.  _ Why did Rom get to inherit  _ _ The L _ _ ook? _ “I guess I should do that then.” Without providing an opportunity for a retort, Remus slit the envelope with his finger and pulled out the letter as though it were a howler. 

“Well? What does it say?” Now Romulus was hovering over his sibling’s shoulder. 

“Pretty much what yours did I guess. I’m being dragged into this too.” 

With that letter, Remus’s spirits, or at least what there had been, flew out the window for the foreseeable future.

“Oh, don’t look like that. All they’re going to do is ask us some questions, That’s it. I’ll even lie and say my mom was mad at your dad, or that she was jealous or something and that's why the letter ended up cursed.” The comment was offhanded with a shrug and Remus was too tired and busy battling a headache to care. “Besides, it’s not like I’d be lying.”

The last bit at least earned him a glance, but the pair made their way back to the Great Hall without further word on the subject.

* * *

 

The Lupins parted ways to their respective tables to return to their breakfasts. There were still forty minutes left to the bell, and not even Remus could bear to sit in an empty classroom for that long. 

As their housemate approached, the Gryffindor students’ heads swiveled up, determined to discover what had become of his fifteen minute discussion about the letter from the Ministry of Magic. 

Their questions were shut down in seconds by the prefects, but that didn’t stop any eyes from drilling into his already pounding skull, though the coffee seemed to be doing the trick because he if it hadn’t been painful, Remus would have been walking with a bounce in his step. Not because he was excited mind, but rather twitchy. 

“REMUS JOHN LUPIN!”

Remus froze, leading leg still in the air over the bench he had been about to sit on.  _ That sound like mum, but then it doesn’t. _ Slowly, he pulled the foot back to the ground and turned to the matron in the doorway to the Great Hall. If she were a steam engine, Remus suspected that she would be moving fairly quickly, because he could all but see the steam pouring out of her ears. 

“I did  _ not _ release you young man!” Her scalding tine rang out around the hall that had fallen silent with her entrance. 

He didn’t know what to do. Did he stay put? Sit? Walk over? The embarrassment that was bleeding freely onto his face had stuck his feet to the floor and his brain into reverse, throwing him back to earlier that morning.

* * *

 

_ Remus had woken up in his house-turned-cage for the second time since he had begun his education. Brief as his consciousness may have been, he woke up again in the evening with the assumption that he had been carried to the hospital as per usual.  _

_ All in all, it hadn’t been a bad transformation. As in he hadn’t inflicted any life-threatening injuries upon himself. Sure, he was covered in bloody scratches, and bruises form hurling himself at walls, windows, and doors, and a few cracked ribs. In general, not bad. _

_ He’d kept his eyes closed initially, listening to the conversation that the nurse was having with her apprentice, who, it turned out, was two months away from finishing her assignment. Remus dreaded the day Poppy Pomfrey became licensed and pitied the fool that entered whichever hospital she began working at.  _

_ “Are you going to be alright on your own for a few days?” Biddle’s words to Pomfrey frightened Remus slightly. _

_ “I’ll be fine. Lupin isn’t too bad this time and I think I can handle whatever mishaps the rest of the students manage.” _

_ “Alright, I’ll be leaving for my interview with the Chisholm organization around nine. I’ll be in my office until then should you need me.” _

_ “I’ll be fine.” _

_ Nurse Biddle let out a puff of laughter before disappearing to her office. “You say that now.” _

_ He'd had his eyes open for less than two minutes before Pomfrey descended upon him. She changed the bandages that needed changing, probed his arms, legs, and chest, watching his face for any indication of pain because she knew he wouldn’t say anything, and stuck a thermometer in his mouth and walked away. _

_ She didn’t leave him long though, she returned minutes later, hands full of bottles and flasks. Remus let out a sigh of resignation, he was going to have to choke back all of those sickening potions and if he didn’t she was likely to force them down his throat. _

_ “Alright Lupin, open up.” _

_ Remus obliged with a hard stare and crossed arms. A small smile played across her face as she spooned out the correct dose from the last bottle. When the spoon was within two inches of his mouth, Remus clamped his mouth shut; he had caught a whiff of the sickly-sweet sleeping draught. So he set his jaw and hardened his stare. _

_ “Oh come on now, don’t be like that.” Remus did not budge. “Lupin…” she warned. Still, nothing was going to make Remus sacrifice the time he had to at least do his reading for the day that Lily had apparently dropped off for him.  _

_ The young woman clamped a small, daintily hand around his chin and began to squeeze as one might to force a dog to drop the sock or shoe that they had picked up. Slight as she may have seemed, Poppy Pomfrey was by no means weak. She pried Remus’s mouth open with minimal efforts, though he may have simply resigned himself to his impending fate. _

* * *

 

_ So Remus woke  _ again _ much earlier than was likely intended on Friday. It was around six thirty, and he was probably still supposed to be under the influence of the potion that had put him to sleep because Madam Pomfrey was nowhere to be seen, even after he’d been awake for five minutes. Alarms wouldn’t be going off unless vitals were crashing and he felt perfectly fine, if not a little sore.  _

_ With a final glance around the long room, Remus snatched his clothes off the bedside table and dressed as quickly as he could without risking bumping up his pulse and made a beeline for the door.  _

Are you going to make me carry you?” Balked Madam Pomfrey as she began to stalk toward her escaped patient.

Remus dragged his mind back to the present, and though he said nothing, he began to make his way toward the angry matron to have his ear chewed off.

* * *

 

“What were you thinking?” Demanded the irate nurse-in-training once she had her patient at least sitting on his regular bed in the infirmary.

“I was  _ thinking” _ he began, sitting up straight in defiance with his arms and tone crossed,  “that this is an educational facility and that I may as well  _ get _ an education while I’m still allowed to  _ be _ here.”

If Poppy was put off by his words, she didn't show it. She stood her full, unimpressive height and  _ glared _ down her nose. “And  _ this _ ” she gestured emphatically to the room, “is a  _ medical _ facility, so you might as well get  _ better _ while you’re here.”

Remus huffed. “I  _ am _ better.”

“You are not the judge of that young man.”

“Well, seeing as it is  _ my  _ body and I’ve been dealing with this shite for almost  _ nine _ years, I’d say I’ve earned the right to be the judge.” Remus was on his feet now, face to face with his warden.

“And seeing as  _ you _ have a nasty habit of downplaying your symptoms or dowmright ignoring them, I’d say you need a second opinion.”

“I  _ got _ my second opinion, I just happen to disagree with it.”

“If you want to get technical I can bring your parents into this discussion, seeing as you are still under the age of medical consent.”

The door at the end of the infirmary creaked open.and Minerva McGonagall strode in to find the squabbling caregiver and patient nose to nose. “Lupin! Poppy! Sit down, both of you.”

They did. But true to his pattern, Remus did not break the staredown that had begun.

“Am I going to have to stun you again?” she asked warily, stepping between the two. 

Remus’s hand subconsciously floated up to cradle his jaw, where the remodeling on his mandible had started aching. He dropped his eyes to the floor and willed the green to take over again. 

“Thank you.” she said to Remus before turning on her heel to speak with Madam Pomfrey. “Would you mind explaining what that display was about?” The tone implied that this was more of a command than a request. 

“Lupin snuck out of the infirmary this morning without being cleared to leave.” 

“I  _ feel _ fine!”

“Your ribs are still healing and there are two lacerations on your stomach that could still get infected!”

“I’ll be sure not to run into any more walls then.”

“And the infection?”

“Well, seeing as there isn’t any infection I’d say I’m still fine.”

“It isn’t whether it is infected  _ now _ or not, it’s the possibility!”

“Infections are more prominent in hospitals!”

“Children!” Remus shut up, and stopped trying to see around his professor. Poppy on the other hand was glaring at the professor in indignance. 

“I am no longer a child Minerva!”

“Then I suggest you stop acting like one.” replied the professor coolly.

Pomfrey opened her mouth to retort but closed it once more in fear of the glare upon the deputy’s face. 

“You could have seriously jeopardized his safety both in the school and the wizarding world.”

At this, the apprenticing matron had the decency to look ashamed. Remus, though nervous at how close he might have been to being discovered, was grinning at the discipline that he was witnessing. 

The grin dropped off of his face when McGonagall turned once more. “You, ought to listen to those who are charged with your care.”

“But I feel-”

“I don’t particularly care if you felt like prancing in a field with a herd of wild hippogriffs,”

“See, that’s just an idiotic idea.”  _ Mistake.  _ Never _ interrupt Professor McGonagall. _

“Lupin!” His attention snapped back into place. “Next time you sneak out will be a detention. Is that clear?”

Remus wanted to argue that he shouldn’t be punished for wanting to go to class, but he knew better than to do that now. He could take it to his parents as Madam Pomfrey had so gracefully suggested. 

“You will stay for as long as it takes to be released  _ by a medical professional _ .

“Yes Professor.”

* * *

 

Be it a legitimate reason or just payback for disobedience, Remus was held until lunch, released just in time for double potions.  _ That woman is absolutely evil. _ Evil because potions ultimately made him feel worse. About his emotional state and his physical one. The simmering fumes worked their way into his brain and caused it to throb and pound against his skull, and his classmates’ jeers had been nonstop since he had entered the room.

He almost asked to go back to the hospital wing. Almost. But he refused to give the satisfaction to the current ruler of said domain. So he suffered in silence until the bell rattled his brain and sent him to his freedom for the weekend.

* * *

 

The weekend had been less freeing than Remus had hoped. No classes meant less distractions from the upcoming appearance at the ministry, and even though Romulus had assured him that nothing would go wrong, he couldn’t help but think it would.

The only break he got from his worries was the quidditch match that took place on the Sunday. Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff in the second to last match of the season. Gryffindor won. By a hair, but it still put them in the running for the quidditch cup.

When Remus wasn’t distracted by the quidditch match and ensuing party or dreading the outcome of the summons on Tuesday, he was studying. Exams were coming up with more speed than he had anticipated and he had the strongest desire to prove that he was worthy of Hogwarts.

So he read. And read. And read. 

To the point that when Lily came into the library to collect a book on Sunday evening to find him still sitting where she had left him before dinner,  _ Lily _ scolded him for over-studying and not taking breaks and dragged him out of the library by the ear. Fortunately for Remus’s pride, she released him before shoving him through the portrait hole and into the bustle and clamour that had become Gryffindor tower in the wake of victory.

Remus made for the stairs.

“No, Remus.” 

Remus looked over his shoulder, an eyebrow raised in question. 

Lily grabbed his hand and pulled him into the jumble of arms and legs and laughter. “Enjoy yourself for once. Let loose.”

“I’m not stiff!” He bellowed in her ear, he had to. Whatever had been used to amplify the music was working at 150% efficiency. It was loud. Decent music, but insufferably loud and all Remus wanted to do was get out of there.

So he ducked, bobbed, and weaved his way back to the stairs, hoping to get to his bed before he needed to collapse on it.

_ Damn you Sirius _

Sirius Black had appeared at the base of the stairs, feet planted and hands on his hips. “Where do you think you’re going Remmy?”

“Bed.”

A pair of hands clamped onto his shoulders and  dragged him back from his escape. 

“Not happening Remus.” shouted James from behind him, pulling him closer to the snack table. “I didn’t see you at dinner, have a bite.” 

So he grabbed an apple and a pastie and headed back for the stairs.

Today was not his lucky day; another pair of hands steered him away from the stairs and plunked him down in front of the fire and a chess board. One of the sixth years had been looking for a challenge and had practically run dry of competent Gryffindors. Lily of all people, had volunteered her study partner for the position.

“Lupin? I asked for a challenge not a child.”

“Shut up Peretti, no one else wants to play you.”

“Your misery infects all who approach!”

“Stop antagonizing people who know more than you Black, before you end up with your head up your arse.”

“Isn’t it already there?” Quipped another fifth year.

“Look, do you want me to play Peretti or not?” asked Remus, growing ever tired of the banter and noise. 

“Please put him in his place Lupin.” A sixth year girl gestured to the chair opposite Archibald Peretti. Remus sat.

“Kick his arse!”

“Go Lupin!”

_ How do they expect me to win if I can’t concentrate? _

“Aw… is the wittle firstie scared?” His opponent was sneering over the battered chess set. When Remus didn’t take the bait, he put his thumb in his mouth and taunted again. “Do you want me to get your mummy?”

Now Remus had an opportunity to respond. “First of all, I’m a second year.” Peretti shrugged, second years were barely past first year after all. “And second, I’m not touching  _ anything  _ on this board if you’ve been sucking your thumb all night.”

The sixth year dropped his hand and wiped it on his trousers as the room erupted at the jab that had been made against their obnoxious housemate.

“Just shut up and play Lupin.”

“I’m black.” he stated, gesturing at the black pieces that opposed the white in front of his opponent. “It’s not my turn.”

As per Lily’s request, the music and ambient noise was dimmed, leaving a void of silence in which Lupin and Peretti cound face off and focus. The silence didn’t help the sixth year much though, after less than five minutes of hearing nothing but bated breath from onlookers and the pieces moving about the board, he began to twitch. When the silence became too much for him, he began to taunt his opponent.

“Oh, the little firstie is breaking a sweat. Are you nervous Lupin?”

Remus said nothing, he simply picked up his piece, and made his move. Ordinarily, wizard’s chess pieces did not take lightly to being picked up. They would squirm, argue, protest, and challenge one’s competence. If they felt particularly violent, they might lash out with their weapons and attack fingers with their razor blade-like implements. Occasionally, they did not even like being told where to go, but for some reason, Remus was the exception. They had protested the first time or two that he had played with the set that lived on the mantle of the common room, but had relented when Remus, to his embarrassment, had growled at them. And they had had plenty of matches with which to become accustomed to being picked up. Whether they stopped squirming out of fear or trust, Remus did not know, but it was also rare for his pieces to critique his decisions.

“Isn’t it getting close to your bedtime Lupin?” 

The clock read half-eleven. Remus really  _ did _ want to get to bed, and it  _ was _ past his bedtime. He scanned the marble on the table thoroughly and laid his eyes on the night to the left of the king. The night slumped on it’s horse, glaring at the werewolf that was about to sentence him to pieces. 

‘Sorry’ signed Remus before making moving his rook.

“Finally. You ready to end this?”

“Oh, absolutely.”

The residents of Gryffindor tower who actually played chess were fighting to keep their chuckles from bubbling out of their mouths at the cheeky tone that had emerged from their champion’s lips. That, and some could see what Peretti couldn’t. 

“Alright then-”

“You’re in check by the way.”

Archibald Peretti froze, staring at Remus’s rook, just out of reach of his nearest pawn and the king itself, face contorted in confusion. 

The dam broke and the laughter that erupted from the observers  was swiftly followed by whoops and shrill whistles of approval.

Then Peretti smiled. It was an uncomfortable, devious smile that Remus would have found unsettling if he were in practically any other situation. “You made a little oopsie there mate.” He reached over the table and patted Remus on the head. “Queen to C-2” The queen, woefully obedient, shot her commander a glare that went unnoticed before complying with the order.”

“Check, mate.” Peretti's tone was coy and smug.

Remus smiled softly, picking up his own queen. “See that’s where you are wrong.” He released his queen to do battle with the white marble. “It is you who is in check,” he asserted, offering his hand in practice of good sportsmanship. “ _ Mate”. _

The tower erupted once more, cheering and jeering the defeat of ‘He-Who-Had-Been-A-Cocky-Menace. In the ensuing chaos, Remus slipped upstairs, Exhausted, he flopped onto his bed without his usual evening ritual and snuffed out his consciousness with his bedside candle.

* * *

 

_ Wind blew softly, rustling the leaves in the trees on an otherwise soundless night. _

_ Moonlight spilled onto the floor and bathed the pile of Lego where his teddy sat on a colourful throne, lording over the tiny yellow men below. _

_ A scratch on the wall outside and the cracked window was slid open by a creature with golden eyes that seemed to glow in the bluish light. Remus could hear himself screaming as the werewolf that turned him leapt into the room, then the dream replaced memory.  _

_ The creature that had invaded his bedroom  stood on his hind legs and reached out for the collar of Remus’s pyjamas and then suddenly, he wasn’t in his old bedroom any longer. He sat in a grand and almost claustrophobic chair that sat in the bottom of an amphitheatre like room, the main difference being that this room had a roof. A high, vaulted ceiling that made Remus feel imperceptibly small.  _

_ There were three people that didn’t look like blurs. The first was the guard that had just moments before been a werewolf in his bedroom, and the other two, a man and a woman, sat on the front bench. The woman was rather stout and cross-eyed with a horrendous sense of fashion, and the man, equally poor at selecting a wardrobe was portly and round-faced.  _

_ The man rapped a gavel on the bench and stood. “We are here today to determine the consequences of breaking the Werewolf Code of Conduct.” He looked up, though distinctly avoided looking  _ at _ Remus. “Please provide your name to the Wizengamot.” _

_ But try as he might, Remus could do nothing but quake in his seat.  _

_ “Your name for the court?” Pressed the woman in a sickly sweet tone.  _

_ “M-m-my n-name?” it came out as a squeak. _

_ “Yes boy, your name. You do know what yours is don’t you?” Chains rattled around the arms and legs of the chair, vying for purchase on the limbs in their midst, but they were not needed.  _

_ “Remus Lupin.” Remus was stammering. Remus  _ never _ stammered. _

_ “Are you aware of the the offences with which you are being charged?” _

_ Again, Remus was at a loss for words, his mind was spinning: how did they find out? Rom had promised he wouldn’t tell, and his word could be trusted. Unless… the curse...of course...Aster. _

_ “Apparently not. It doesn’t appear to be very intelligent.” _

_ “Remus John Lupin, you are hereby charged with the following breached of the Werewolf Code of Conduct: Trespassing on public grounds, failure of notification, failure to register…” _

_ But Remus lost his focus on the man reading his charges. The chains were slinking their way up his legs. He started to panic and twitch. The more he moved, the tighter the chains wound themselves. Remus winced when the silver chains began to slither over his hands and bind his arms to the chair. _

_ His hands burned and itched and stung. The pain fuzzed his vision and made his ears ring and his stomach churn. And then the pain and nausea faded, only to be replaced by a bone-chilling cold. _

Remus snapped awake as he hit the floor beside his bed, soaked in a cold sweat with a pounding heart and laboured breath. A glance to the dark sky outside told him that it was before five, and the clock read 4:15; the sun wouldn’t rise for some time yet.

A bed to his right creaked. “Remus?” slurred Sirius in a sleepy daze. 

“I’m fine.” he said softly, struggling to get his pulse under control. “Go back to sleep.” 

Sirius gave him as doubtful an expression as he could at such a time in the morning, but rolled over nonetheless. 

His friends asleep once more, Remus pulled out his longest set of robes and padded across the dormitory to have an early shower, he had a nagging suspicion that sleep would not be coming. 

Remus had had the same dream three times in the last two days, but this was the farthest it had gone. The first time, since he had neglected his habitual silencing charm, Sirius had woken to his mumbles and thrashes. Remus had been embarrassed beyond belief that his friend had witnessed him having such a nightmare, but Sirius didn’t ask any questions. Well, that’s a lie; he asked if his roommate was alright, then he went back to bed and left Remus to his own devices. Neither made any mention of the occurrence in the morning despite the fact that Remus hadn’t gotten a wink of sleep since. 

The second time had been during potions. The combination of lack of sleep, the warmth of the room, and the sweet fumes had made him drowsy. Throw in that Remus’s fourth, and last as per Lily’s impedance, cup of coffee had been at the beginning of lunch, and Remus was out. 

If Remus had thought that  _ Sirius _ witnessing his unconscious mind terrorize him was embarrassing, then repeating the experience in front of twenty students was downright  _ humiliating _ . His agitated twitches had called no attention, It wasn't until the chains touched his skin and he had started  _ screaming  _ that someone had notice and shaken him awake. Pale-faced and clammy, he had brushed it off as a flashback to his brother’s near-death, and that  _ no _ he most definitely didn't need to go to the hospital, fresh air should set him right as rain.

Sirius had given him a knowing look. The Black heir wasn’t believing a word that came out of Remus’s mouth, yet still, he did not broach the subject,

Remus cranked up the heat in the shower as high as he could get it and sat on the tiles, letting the scalding water wash away the sweat and cold. Eventually, he got up and washed properly, scowling at every line that marred his skin. Then he stepped out of the shower, ever grateful that the bathroom mirror had fogged up, and bundled himself in his warmest jumper despite the warmer days they had been having. 

Once dressed, Remus reached for his wand on his bed, finding in its place a the leatherbound journal that Lily had given his for christmas. As quietly as possible, Remus sat on his bed, wincing as the springs squeaked softly. He undid the clasp and opened the cover, breathing in the smell of the hide and blank pages as he thumbed through them. Sirius jerked in his sleep and mumbled something incoherent and Remus was off like a rocket in the silent vacuum of space. 

True to his fidgety nature, Remus flipped the small book over and over in his hands as he made his way through the corridors, eventually finding himself surrounded by house elves and food he wasn’t hungry for, though he did accept a mug of coffee offered from a tray of hot beverages.

He undid the clasp and opened the cover, breathing in the smell of the hide and blank pages as he thumbed through them. Then a thought struck his mind; it was more of a desperation really. He was thirteen, and other than his parents, no one knew anything about him. Not really anyway; sure, he’d made friends at Hogwarts, but he didn’t feel like they  _ really _ knew who he was. The only people he could speak openly with were his parents, a few of his professors- and he didn’t really any form of special treatment from them, and Lily and Rom. And even with Lily, he felt like he had to hold back. It wasn’t that Remus didn’t appreciate her friendship- he did. To the point that he couldn’t describe it. But she was just that. A she. A girl. Trivial as it may be, he wasn’t comfortable opening up to her on a deeper level than what he already had, and even that made him nervous most of the time. In essence, he had no one to talk to. He didn’t want to stress his sibling, nor did he think that his brother would be all that helpful with his attention span being what it was. 

Still though, he needed to get some of his thoughts out of his head and drain the dam to stall the oncoming flood. That was where the journal came in. A quick rummage through his pockets yielded four paperclips, a lint-covered mint, and a stubby yellow pencil. Flipping back to the first page, he began to write.

_ Dear… me I guess. I have no Idea why I started this as a letter but apparently I did.  _

_ Today may just mark the end of my life as I know it, and that’s if I’m lucky enough that it doesn’t just end my life. I’m terrified that I’ll somehow be discovered at the Ministry today. I know they just want to ask us questions, but what if Rom somehow spills the beans? I know he won’t mean to, but he didn’t exactly mean to climb the wall and nearly get himself killed either now did he? _

_ It might be better if I could just get some sleep, but I think that that only maked things worse because all I can see when I close my eyes... _

* * *

 

“Lupin?” Remus snapped his eyes open and up to find his transfiguration teacher accepting a cup of tea and biscuits from a house elf. “What are you doing down here?”

Eyes went back to his book, he almost had an idea as to how to block out the wofish personality that lived in his mind. “Couldn’t sleep.”

McGonagall took a seat across from her student. “Is that because you are nervous?”

“Nervous doesn’t cover it.” Remus scoffed into his book. 

Minerva sighed, “I feel like I might have to write your father.”

Remus snapped his eyes up, head still down, but now actually looking at her face. “Why?” he asked timidly.

McGonagall chuckled softly. “Because Remus, he has apparently neglected to teach you your manners.”

“Sorry Professor.” He sat up straight, squared his shoulders and pulled his face up from his chapter. “I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“Of course not. But there’s nothing to be nervous about, all that the representatives are going to do is ask you a few questions about your brother’s behaviour.”

“Nervous has nothing to do with it.” Remus took a deep, shuddering breath, and a swig of the steaming coffee that Heemo had left on the table. "I'm scared out of my mind." he confessed. 

The Head of Gryffindor pursed her lips, unsure of how to respond.

“I keep dreaming that they’ve found out and that I’m on trial. And then it just gets really cold and I’d rather not think about why.”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of Lupin.” she said softly. “There is no reason to suspect you for anything. All that the BEAR agents are going to do is ask you a few questions.”

“But what if-”

“If they had something on you they would have stormed into the castle already. You’ll be fine.” She could see some of the tension flow from his body and let out an exhale of relief. “Come now, it’s almost nine and your sibling is probably waiting by my office.”

“ _ Nine _ ?” Remus jumped off the bench. 

“Yes Mr. Lupin. Dare I ask when you dragged yourself down here?”

“I dont don't think you want to know”

McGonagall eyed her pupil with curious concern but ultimately decided that pressing the matter would do more harm than good. “Come along then, I don’t think you want to be late.”

“I think I’d rather skive.” Remus admitted as he headed to the portrait that acted as a door.

“That’s better be the last time I hear those words from your mouth Lupin!” she called after him, handing her cup off to a waiting elf before making her own way back to her office.

* * *

 

Remus hadn’t waited for his professor; he knew the way to her office after all. A simple nod and a wan smile from Romulus was all that was exchanged by the brothers while they waited in the corridor. 

When the professor arrived a couple of minutes later, she shot Remus a quick glance of annoyance for rushing ahead before she unlocked her office and let them inside. “A Sergeant Schrader will meet you once you arrive at the Ministry. You are to wait for a professor to return you to the school.” The Lupins nodded. “Whenever you are ready boys.” She gestured at the pot of floo powder on her desk, and Romulus was the first to step up. “Behave yourselves, and good luck.”

Romulus swallowed, remembering his last trip via floo before announcing “The Ministry of Magic!”

Remus was a wreck for reasons other than his dislike of floo travel, but nevertheless, he took a pinch of the green powder and tossed it into the hearth, carefully enunciating every syllable. “The Ministry of Magic!”

And Hogwarts vanished with a flash of green flame and a swirl of colour.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been saying this for awhile so I don't think anyone actually reads these, but feedback. Seriously people, I am on my knees groveling. Also, someone please let me know if my formatting gets confusing.


	31. On Edge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And... I'm back for chapter 31. Enjoy the fruits of my labours with which I still make no profit.

**22 May 1973**

The noise was almost too much for Remus as he staggered out of the grate and into the Ministry of Magic. People went this way and that; across the atrium, dropping out of fireplaces, rising to the lifts, chasing after co-workers to pick their brains, every last one of them adding something to the cacophony.

Groups of visitors stood marvelling at the fountain in the middle of the hall. It was an impressive piece of craftsmanship, but Remus couldn’t help but notice the expression on the wizard’s face. Whether it was pity or contempt or disdain, he didn’t know. It just felt wrong.

Remus continued his scan for Romulus. There was a cluster of goblins in the corner, people lounging on benches that lined the walls, and a short queue leading up to a raised platform at the far end. He’d never been to the Ministry before, not that he could remember anyway, and he’d never met this Sergeant Schrader before, so Rom was the only face he knew.

“There you are!” A small man appeared at his side, dressed in scarlet robed and a rather large hat. “Remus Lupin, yes? Robert Schrader.”

The B.E.A.R. officer offered his hand in greeting. Remus shook his hand nervously; his voice caught in his throat as the reality of what was about to happen set in once more. Schrader smiled and gestured towards the raised desk. “Your brother’s just in line to sign in. What say you we join him eh?” Remus couldn’t place the man’s accent;  it was French, but twangier, as though the words had been mashed flat before he used them.

A piercing alarm jerked his attention forward, eyes scrambling to get a lock on the noise. A small woman shooed off two hulking attendants as she drew knick knacks out of her purse and pockets, laying them in a tray beside her. One of the attendants whisked the tray away and behind him, and the other held the door as the woman marched through into the Ministry.

Schrader tilted his head down to Remus’ ear. “Security checks,” he explained quietly, “all things _magique_ are left at the door, an’ you pick them up when you leave.”

They were two from the front when Remus realized he was still holding his freshly-inked journal. _Bloody hell_ , he thought, glancing around wildly, _they’re going to make me leave it behind._ It wasn’t so much that he was worried he wouldn’t get it back, more that he had a sneaking suspicion that the attendant at the desk would get bored at some point and go looking for something to read. From what he had seen, they weren’t exactly obeying any privacy laws.

“Next,” one of the attendants droned.

One left before them. And Remus noted that the security wizard at the desk was scoffing at the contents of the woman’s box as he rattled the box, presumably to move the contents around to see everything, before setting it down. Panic seized the werewolf and he frantically scoured his robes for somewhere to stow the book. _Of course, the only robes that almost fit_ _have_ _the smallest pockets._

Observing Remus’s frustration, Schrader spoke up. “They’re just going to weigh your wands and ask who you are and why you’re here.” By some miracle, he managed to come across as comforting without sounding like he spoke to a six-year-old.

Remus ran his finger over the spine of the journal, staring at the procedure taking place in front of them. His stomach squirmed as he tried to think a way around the scans.

They were next. And Remus was foolishly holding pages that confessed his crime of existence in the middle of the building that controlled Wizarding Britain. Aurors, the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, courtrooms, the Werewolf Registry, the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, the Werewolf Capture Unit, all of it right here...

“Remus?” Schrader laid a hand on his shoulder. Remus did his best not to flinch. “May I call you Remus?”

Still too nervous to say anything, he nodded.

“You’ve nothing to be afraid of son, but if it makes you feel better, I can hold onto that for you.”

Remus pulled his journal in, clasping it tightly in both hands. He felt like a child clinging to a blanket, but he couldn’t stop himself.

“I promise I won’t read it. But I can tell you’re worried about it.”

Remus shot the security wizard another glance. The visitor was handing over their wand for weighing. Then he looked at the officer in front of him. He’d known him for all of ten minutes, but something in his eyes reminded Remus of Professor Styne, and timidly, he offered up the book for safekeeping.

“I won’t even look at it, alright eh? So no need to worry about it getting read.”

“Even if you wanted to, you’d need a cryptographer to get through it.” Teased Romulus, speaking for the first time that morning other than to command his destination. It earned him a light slap to the back of the head.

“Oh, shove off, Rom, like your writing is any better.”

“NEXT!”

“At least Professor Flitwick doesn't need a cipher to mark my homework.” Romulus mumbled as the trio stepped up to the platform to be scrutinized by a man who was likely one of many bitter auror flunkies. “What is this?” he asked, annoyed at all the heads in front of him.

“Sergeant Robert Schraeder, escorting Remus and Romulus Lupin to an inquiry.”

“So you’s is the one we was told to expect. What you do, lad?” the wizard asked with a cruel grin.

Surprisingly, it was Romulus who spoke up. “We’re here for an inquiry, not a hearing. Remus has done nothing wrong.”

“I’m sorry,” Schrader stepped forward. “But we are on a bit of a schedule. Could we please move this along so these two can get back to their classes as soon as possible?”

The man at the desk scowled, but he seemed to know better than to argue with a foreign dignitary. “Fine. Which of you is Romulus, then? First on the list.”

Romulus stepped up.

“Wand.”

Romulus handed over a once-shiny-now-covered-in-scratches-and-dents, pale wand to be weighed.

“Romulus Gaius Lupin?”

“Yep.”

“Maple, twelve inches, and…” the security wizard, whose nameplate read Cst. Wiles, furrowed his brow and squinted at the tape that had been spit out of the scale. He removed the wand and tried again, still, his brow furrowed. “Are you trying to fool me boy? What is this?” Wiles had stood and reached for his own wand, preparing to summon the Improper Use of Magic Office from Level 2.

“It’s Waheela fur, Sir.”

“You expect me to believe that? Never heard of it in my life.”

“It’s a magical creature native to the Northwest Territories.” Their Canadian escort looked impressed. “I’ve heard of their fur being used in wand-making, but I’ve never seen the results myself.”

Wiles jabbed his wand up anyway, summoning over more officials. “And why should I believe _you_?” He demanded. “For all I know you’re his accomplice in trying to infiltrate the Ministry.”

The Canadian looked like he wanted to provide a sarcastic retort, but he bit back his tongue and plastered a smile on his face. “Could we at least get Remus here confirmed while we wait then? Surely it couldn’t hurt.”

Frowning over his desk, Wiles whirled the other boy. “Wand,” he demanded.

Remus withdrew his wand and placed it on the desk with a shaky hand.

“Remus John Lupin?”

“Yes.”

“Cyprus, ten and a quarter inches, Unicorn hair?”

“Correct.”

He stood from his seat once more and waddled around the desk with his secrecy sensor. “Arms out, boy.”

Remus complied, and the security wizard waved the stick over Remus’s form. It was barely two inches from his nose when it began to wail. Remus paled. _Is it detecting me? I don’t think I have anything in my pockets…_ The man was waved the device over his entire body, the squealing noise never once faltering. Remus wondered if covering his ears would be a dead giveaway. _Probably._ _Because I’m a dark creature._ Officials from the Improper Use of Magic Office emerged from the lift. _I knew something like this would happen…_

“Empty your pockets.” Remus was frozen until he was tapped on the shoulder. “Pockets.”

He reached into his pockets. Two knuts, a galleon he had won playing chess, his pencil, and a small stone were the only things that came out.

“Put that cursed thing down Wiles.” The representative from the Improper Use of Magic Office had arrived at the desk.

Wiles, though disappointed, did as he was told.

“What is the urgent matter this time?” Asked the official from level two, sounding bored.

The man grinned; he had done his job. He’d caught a potential intruder. “This ‘boy’,” he said, pointing at Remus, “if that’s really what he is, has played some trick on his wand to confuse the scale.”

Remus bit back the urge to roll his eyes and gestured to his brother. _Blimey, we’re not_ that _similar_ _._ Wiles blinked hard and narrowed his eyes at Remus before swinging his hand around to jab at Rom. “Playin’ tricks, they are,” he spat.

Romulus opened his mouth and closed it once more when Schrader opened his, only to close it again and gesture for Romulus to continue. “I didn’t tamper with my wand.”

“May I see the printout?” The woman from the Improper Use of Magic office, who dressed in the typical ministry attire, did _not_ want to be there  

Wiles grumbled something about forgery and handed both copies over to the woman who had come to verify identities.

“Hmm...I’ve never heard of waheela before, but if it wasn’t a magical core, then it would not wouldn’t be registering properly…”

“They are native to the Nahanni Valley.” pitched Schrader  

“Right. I’ll have to take your word for it then Sergeant.” she said with a nod.  

“But he-”

The woman turned to glare at the guard. “Is an ambassador of his nation and has passed our security screenings. Get back to work, Gerald.” Wiles returned to his place behind his desk with and returned Romulus's wand with a dark look before barking for the next visitor.

“I’m terribly sorry about that, gentlemen. Please, continue with your day.”

The boys shared a look and shrugged. Nothing had gone seriously wrong yet. Inside, Remus let out a sigh of relief; he was still free.

* * *

 

Schrader stood patiently by the door behind which the proceedings were taking place. He’d made an attempt to make conversation with Remus, but the boy was shaking too badly to pay attention to anything he had to say. He stood by the door and watched sptring up from the bench after thirty seconds to stalk back and forth across the room. “Sit down, kid, you’re making me nervous.”

Remus conceded and sat, his leg bouncing in nervous frenzy and hands wringing. He lasted a whole three minutes before he was back walking laps of the ministry corridor.

“Oh, bordel de merde, on n'a pas besoin d'un trou dans le plancher, la!” exclaimed the Sergeant as Remus passed him for the fortieth time.

But as much as he may have liked to sit down and calmly talk about meaningless things with a man he barely knew, it was as though Remus was a wind-up toy that was broken backwards; defying the laws of nature with a coil that never released it’s tension but instead kept spinning the wheels around and around. This continued in relative silence for some time, Schrader standing by the door, his eye twitching as the outlet of annoyance of the endlessly pacing Remus. Then the boy stopped in his tracks and his head swiveled, guiding the rest of his body to face the door to which his eyes were glued.

The door swung open of its own accord a voice from inside called out. “Calling on Remus John Lupin.” With a nod from his escort, Remus entered the room. It was not cavernous or lined with benches and purple-robed members of the wizengamot. It was merely an office with wood floors and paneling. A fire flowed behind the desk and a young woman stood behind the oak table. “Rebekka Olson,” the woman extended her hand in greeting, and Remus merely stared at it. He could hear his blood rushing through his ears and feel its thud in his chest. Rebekka smiled gently at him, accepting his nervousness and gestured her outstretched hand to the facing hers from the other side of the desk. “Please, take a seat.” Still, Remus stared, though now it was at the chair as though he half expected chains to lash out from the legs and drag him down to face his demise. “I’m sure you’ve heard stories about criminals being chained down to their seats, but I assure you, that is only in the courtrooms. It would be a rather uncomfortable piece of office furniture don’t you think?” She offered an encouraging smile and the Lupin approached the chair.

He prodded it with his foot for good measure, and satisfied that he would not be chained to it, he sat.

“Now to business.” Mrs. Olson, at least Remus assumed she was married because there was a ring on her finger, pulled out her quill and dipped it in the ink pot. “Please state your name and date of birth for the record.”

“Remus John Lupin, tenth of march 1960.” He was making a conscious effort not to bounce or fidget, but it was a losing battle. He felt trapped. Like he was locked in his cage in the basement and the walls were closing in, pressing tighter and tighter against the wolf inside his mind, trying to push it out of his body. And the wolf… the wolf was trying its damnest to break free. So the leg started, followed by his fingers drumming on the armrests and his eyes zipping all over the room looking for escape routes,

“Can you tell me what you were doing on January 19th?”

It was an innocent question, and a rather routine one at that, but nevertheless, it made Remus nervous, His agitation showed and the twitching and fidgeting got worse than when he was stuck in a stuffy classroom mere hours before the moon rose. “I was in the hospital wing all day.” He managed.

Mra. Olson scribbled a note. “Were you aware of what was going on? Did you witness the incident at all?”

“I was asleep for… for most of the morning.” _If she asks why I was there I think I’ll have a breakdown…_

Again, notes were taken. “But you were present on the 11th? Of February, that is?”

Remus paled at the memory. Hearing your own bones break was unsettling enough; hearing someone _else’s_ crunch as Romulus’s had was downright vomit-worthy. “Sort of.”

The interviewer smiled sweetly. It was similar to Nurse Biddle’s expression when she handed him potions that she knew smelled foul. It was the ‘I know you don’t really want to but it's for your own good’ look of pity that Remus had seen far too much. He had seen it often on the faces of his parents when they would attempt remedies from sketchy sources before convincing them there was no cure, and other than the full moons, his condition was rarely mentioned. But other than Madam Pomfrey, who tended towards a smirk when passing him vile fluids, that sort of piteous smile was one that he had always associated with his curse. As a result, he very nearly ran out the door. Nevertheless, there was no way he could sit down in chair, let alone one he thought was going to try and arrest him.

“Would you mind telling me what happened?” she asked far too sweetly.

Remus paused and took a large gulp of air to focus and calm himself. It didn’t work, but it was worth a try. When he felt that his skull was no longer a boxing ring, he turned to the desk and began. “Well, I was stuck in the wall…” Olson raised a curious brow. Remus started pacing. _Again._ “And then professor Leeder came along to-”

“This is Holden Leeder correct?”

Remus clenched his fists and did his best to mask his annoyance at the interruption. “He poked a bit of fun at me and then the wall let me out, he told me I should be able to get out, and…” He swallowed, the sound of his brother’s near fatal fall echoing in his ears.

“Go on,” Rebekka Olson was likely trying to be encouraging, but to an extremely agitated werewolf, it came off as patronising.

“And I had the nauseating pleasure of listening to my brother fall TWENTY BLOODY FEET!” He was shaking now; the nerves and anger and frustration radiating outward. He went for the door, only to find it locked. ‘What else could you possibly demand of me?” he cried, the urge to flee overriding his system.

“I understand that that must have been diffic-”

“Difficult?” Remus was in control of his words mostly- but that was about it. He stalked up to the desk and planted his hands on it in a manner that would have sticken fear had Mrs. Olson thought she was looking at anything other than a thirteen year old boy throwing a stress-induced tantrum. She missed the hint, which Remus would be ever so grateful for later. His eyes flashed to gold as he struggled to hold onto a piece of his mind and the only way he could do that was to say something and focus on what he was saying, but that left out all the space for forethought and filters. “Difficult is catching up a year in a subject you don’t understand. Have you ever broken a bone? Feel it snap when you fell on it? Have you had your attention drawn by screams only to hear my _brother’s_ neck snap against the floor in the entrance hall? Arriving just in time to watch as the puddle of blood spread like… like a flooded dam and thinking ‘this is the last time I’m ever going to see him again? You call that _difficult?_ ”

Remus could feel his magic coursing through his veins and sparking at his fingertips. He went for the locked door, and when his hand grasped the handle, it _melted_ onto the floor and he shoved it open, stalking towards the red blob that his unfocused eyes caught into. Really, _he_ was following the red, thinking that it was Schrader and that Romulus was probably close by and the _wolf_ who had picked out his brother's scent.

“Remus?” Romulus asked, wary of the posture and the gold that Remus wore on his face. “What-oof”

Romulus closed his mouth when his brother scooped him up into a crushing embrace and buried his nose in his sibling’s hair.

“Are you okay?” Romulus asked, holding up his hand as Mrs. Olson began to make her way toward the Lupins. When she didn’t stop, the BEAR Sergeant stepped in. “Remus?” he tried again, awkwardly wrapping his arms around the boy who was practically crushing him.

The response he got was merely a grumble, but even with having only been reunited with his brother for less than a year, the sentiment was understood. “I’m not going anywhere little brother.”

“M’not little.” Remus protested softly as he nuzzled his brother’s cheek with his nose, drinking in the smell.

Romulus released him with a grunt, “Yeah, I can feel that thanks. Mind letting me breathe?”

WIth a final breath, Remus released his captive and sat down beside him. “Sorry.” he said after a moment, almost as an afterthought.

“Geez, Remus. You’re pointier than you look.” A glance down the corridor indicated that the adults had disappeared to the office. “What happened in there?”

Remus’s irises, which were almost back to the usual gold-flecked forest green, filled with gold momentarily before returning to normal. “The accident.”

“Oh.”

They sat in silence for some time, grateful that they were still in each other’s company; they had not been lost to hatred or injury. Sergeant Schrader was eventually the one to break the comfortable silence. “Remus,” he said, keeping his distance and waiting until the boy in question looked up. “They’d like to finish the interview if that’s alright.”

Remus looked to his brother for a moment in contemplation. Romulus nodded in silent solidarity. “Fine,” he grumbled. “But Rom stays and I’d rather not speak with Mrs. Olson again.”

“Why is that dear?” Rebekka Olson had emerged from her office to listen to the conversation taking place. When Remus saw her, he tensed visibly, shoulders shifting back and hands balled into fists, his eyes locked onto her and he fought against the shift. His eyes may not have been clouded by his wolf but something must have shone through because Mrs. Olson swallowed and retreated to her desk.

Schrader snorted softly. “I’ll see what I can do.”

* * *

 

They eventually returned to Hogwarts in time for the last period of the day, and Remus, a nervous wreck by that point, ducked out of Professor Raax’s sight as soon as they made it through the front doors of the castle. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy Defense Against the Dark Arts, because he did, but he was wound tighter than an ten day clock and he didn’t trust himself to _not_ completely lose it in class.

Even with Romulus in the room, the remainder of the interview had felt more like an interrogation, asking questions about his relationship with Romulus and Aster, his professors, and every single incident that he could recall wherein Professor Leeder may have had an influence on Romulus’s actions. To put it simply, Remus was emotionally exhausted, to the point that he wasn’t even registering that his seemingly impending doom had been averted. So he ignored the looks and murmurs of disappointment from the portraits that lined the walls and the ghosts that graced the halls and trudged up to his dormitory.

Remus only actually made it to the common room where he collapsed onto a couch by the window and fell into slumber that was not riddled with panic and paranoia, sleeping relatively soundly for the first time in days.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy it? Have questions? Pray, do tell.   
> So, I'm not sure what my internet access will be looking like for the next few weeks and that's either a really good thing or a really bad thing for you depending on how much other stuff I have going on. School is ramping up for the final push so we'll see. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and thanks for reading


	32. Banter, Tests, Panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm SO SORRY that I'm late. Long story short, I'm home from school and the may 24 messed up my internal calendar. Please enjoy and don't hate me.   
> PS. I own none of it.

**10 June 1973**

Exams were set to start Monday. That left 24 hours to stuff eight months of notes back into brains, and the Lupin s had other things on their minds, too.  They hadn’t heard  any news on the investigation - if they were to be  told anything  at all.

Second years were up against course selection this week, too, though Remus was slightly more concerned about ripping out of his own skin that Thursday. He’d submitted his choices days ago, anyway, just to get the blasted things out of the way.

“I can’t believe we still have to take History of Magic next year.” Grumbled Sirius as the four Gryffindors  trudged down  from their dormitory,  “How is Binns not dead yet, anyway? Isn’t that some sort of liability, employing a half-dead prof?”

“What,” Remus snorted, “would you rather he was fully-dead?”

“Fat lot of good it’d do,” James said, tossing a snitch above his head and grabbing it before the golden ball could whizz off, “he can’t be any more boring than he already is.”

Peter frowned and picked absently at the skin of his palm.  “ I think  it’s actually kind of interesting.” 

James shot him a glare  and leaned back against the wall . “That’s just because you an ’ Remmy here are bookworms , mate. S’not normal for the rest of us to enjoy being bored .”

“The  text isn’t really  all  that bad.  Very descriptive, gruesome enough to be interesting in spots. Good reading,  ” quipped Remus as he headed into the common room after his friends, “ y ou should try it sometime.”

“What, I should try reading the textbook?” James scoffed.

Remus grinned. “ Baby steps. Why don’t we try picture books first? ” 

“Can’t we just keep  to  our core subjects?” asked Sirius, only half-joking and struggling to contain his laughter.

“No, Mr. Black, you must select at _least_ two elective courses to take up.” Hearing his professor in the common room caused Sirius to jump. McGonagall bit back the laughter in her voice. “Selections are due by dinner this evening.” She handed each student a pamphlet to look over. “If it is not returned to me by then, I will choose for you.”

_ THIRD YEAR ELECTIVE CLASSES _

_ Ancient Runes _

_ Arithmancy _

_ Care of Magical Creatures _

_ Divination _

_ Magical Law _

_ Muggle Studies _

_ Musical Studies _

**_..._**  
“Fucking perfect,” Sirius groaned. Remus cuffed him upside the head with a smirk.

* * *

 

Remus had no trouble choosing his courses . He had thought about adding in another subject, but decided that it would be too heavy a course load  if  he was academically useless four days of  every  month. So, his extra classes would be limited to Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, and Muggle Studies. 

“Remus, didn’t you go to a muggle primary school?” asked Sirius from across the dormitory.

“Yes.” He took a bite of chocolate. His stash was dwindling; the  prime  suspect was Peter.

“And you said your mum was a muggle?”

“ I do recall saying that, yes. What of it? ” he asked, setting his chocolate down and spinning on his bed to face his roommate.

“I see his point, too.” Peter  leaned  forward on his elbows, watching Remus with interest.

James  threw open  his bed curtains, broom and polishing cloth still in hand. “Would someone care to enlighten me?”

“Absolutely, my good friend!”  Sirius threw himself back against his mattress, limbs and hair splayed in every direction.

Get on with it,  mate, ” said Remus shortly, “I’m meeting up with Lily to study for potions  soon , and I need to make sure I get a head start.  If you’re going to monologue,  make it snappy.”

“Why are  _ you _ , of all people, taking  _ muggle studies _ ?” asked Sirius, completely bewildered that the boy who had grown up half muggle would take interest in a class  _ about _ muggles and their customs.

Remus shrugged and picked up his book bag. “I think it’ll be entertaining.”

“But you already know everything about being a muggle,” 

Sirius snapped his fingers and pointed to Peter. “Exactly ! W on’t the class be dead boring?”

“Not if you nitwits take it  too ,” Remus said  as he  surged off his bed and  left for the library , bag slung over his shoulder .

The stunned silence that followed Remus’s departure was broken swiftly by Sirius. “So it’s agreed then? Muggle studies is a go?”

* * *

 

“Morning, Richard.” called Andromeda  Black as Remus passed her and her Hufflepuff prefect his way to the library.

“That’s Remus, dear.” corrected Ted.

Andromeda frowned. “No, it’s the other one, I swear. Rih… Roh… Rom… something.”  She shrugged. Remus stopped and turned back to the couple. 

“It’s definitely Remus.” Ted affirmed to himself, looking the boy up and down.

“Well, then ? Who’s right?” Andromeda leaned on the banister at the top of the stairs, poised to slide down the rail.

Remus fought his chuckles just enough to gasp out: “Ted.”

“See? I’m never wrong when it comes to these things , love .”

Andromeda  jabbed him  in the ribs. “I didn’t hear that.”  S he descended a few stairs and sat, facing Remus, who still stood five steps below. “How is my dear cousin doing? I haven’t seen much of him since he went ballistic at my engagement party.”

“You got engaged?” Remus’s eyes started searching for a ring, or other indication that his friend’s cousin was betrothed. Finding none, he shifted his gaze up to Ted, shooting him a questioning look. 

“Ha! Not me, lad. Some rich pure-blooded ponce from Germany.”  Ted snorted  as he moved to sit next to Andromeda. 

“But…” _I don’t_ _get it. If she’s engaged, then why..._

Andromeda and Sirius shared the same shark’s grin, Remus noticed. “Oh, that’s cute,” she cooed, “you thought I was going to go through with it!”

Remus swallowed awkwardly. “Isn’t that generally why people get engaged?”

“In the rest of the world? Yes.” Ted leaned over and pecked his girlfriend on the cheek.

“My  _ darling _ parents decided to arrange it for me. A ‘proper pureblood wedding,’  I believe  they called it.” Remus could  smell  the sarcasm dripping from her tongue as she spoke. 

“I can see why you wouldn’t like it, but why  w ould that make Sirius go off?” he asked  slowly , “not that it takes all that much  to begin with .”

“Oh, he was just angry at that point. Then the bastard showed  _ up. _ ” Ted was grinning in anticipation. He had obviously heard the story before and found it rather amusing. 

“He oh - so - _ graciously _ implied that we duck out of the party nice and early a to get a head start on all that nuptial shagging . Then he kissed me, the twat . So how is my favourite cousin? I haven’t seen him since his folks bundled him into the floo just moments after punching the imbecile. I never did get the chance to congratulate him either.”

Remus raised an eyebrow, wondering if maybe there was more to the story. “He’s… fine I guess. In detention this afternoon though. Not that it’s unusual , either .”

Andromeda  smiled. “No, I’m afraid it’s not. Well, we’d best let you get onto your study date.”

“Oh? Who’s the lucky witch?” Ted’s eyes sparkled with mirth.

Remus on the other hand, was completely flustered by the comments. “What? It’s not- I don’t-”

“Oh come on now, we were only teasing.” laughed Ted as he stood to pat Remus on the shoulder. “Good luck with your exams Remus.” Then he turned, offered Andromeda a hand up, and disappeared around the corner. He stared after the pair for a moment, waiting for the other half of his mind to register that he was allowed to move.

* * *

 

“Remus,” Lily was waving her hand from a table across the library commons. “over here”

“What is  _ he _ doing here?” groaned a voice from behind the stack of books on the table. 

Remus froze when he recognized who had spoken, and he winced when Lily said: “Studying. And you’re going to help him.”

“And why would I do that?” demanded Severus,  glowering around the pile of books at his enemy.  

_ This is a really awful idea… _ ”I really don’t think this is necessary,” Remus said, taking a step back to turn and leave.

Lily didn’t seem to care that the boys disliked each other, because she all but commanded the pair of them. “Sit down Remus, you’re hopeless and Sev’s a whiz at potions.”

Snape stood the instant that Remus sat. “I don’t care how hopeless he is, I’m not helping him.” 

The witch stared her friend down. “Yes you are.”

“Lily-” Her stare shifted to black eyes to green, and Remus’s hand was left hovering over the text he had been about to put back into his bag to make his exit.

The glare was back on the Slytherin, who also seemed to be making an attempt at escape. “And then  _ he’s  _ going to help  _ you  _ with charms”

“Oh, I am now am I?” There was likely a perfectly reasonable explanation as to why neither boy had been informed of their roles in advance, but neither appreciated the sudden blow.

Snape scoffed. “That’ll be the day. Accept help from a Gryffindor?”

Lily’s face hardened. “ _ I’m _ a Gryffindor Severus, or had you forgotten?”

“I- No- But you’re  _ different _ !” Snape managed, as he tried to redeem himself. “You aren’t like the rest of them!”

“You let a few bad encounters cloud your judgement. Now sit back down or I’ll take up Tuney’s offer to go on holiday with her and our cousins this summer.”

Snape paled, or he would have if there had been any colour in his face to begin with. As it was, his eyes bugged out a bit before he set his jaw. “Fine. Lupin, where do you want to start?”

“I think the beginning might be a good start.” snickered Lily and dodging the hurt look that Remus was feigning.

Snape eyed his tutee for a few moments. “I knew you were horrible at potions but I did believe that as an obsessively annoying bookworm there would be  _ some _ hope.”

Remus, while he normally would have shrugged off the snide remark, was under more stress than he was accustomed to, and his alter ego was approaching  its  monthly ruling, and because of that, he was fighting to keep the gold out of his eyes that he sacrificed his filter. 

He was afraid of the snarky comment that he was about to dish out but the he froze. Whether it be Remus or the wolf that had taken up residence in his mind over eight years ago, he never knew. But it didn’t matter. What mattered was that Remus didn’t ruin his last chance to pass his potions exam, which, Severus had  reminded him, was to take place on Friday.

Friday, when Remus would be feeling like a flattened piece of roadkill. And on that day, he was going to have to take the final for his worst subject. On Friday, he was going to have to sit in a dank, dungeon classroom and sit over a sickening smelly potion and focus on not passing out or blowing up the classroom. On Friday he would have to sit at a desk and focus on the subject matter that he understood the least with his head swimming in potion fumes. 

On Friday he would have to convince Madam Pomfrey to let him leave. And the only remote chance he had to pass the class sat in front of him saved from his temper by a piercing stare from lily that said ‘You will accept it or else.’ And that look scared Remus and forced his second personality into submission. 

Three hours were spent getting Remus up to speed on potions, and by the time that they were ready to move onto charms, Remus  _ and _ Severus were hanging onto their sanity by a thread.

“Can’t  _ you _ help me with charms?” begged the Slytherin of his friend. “I feel as though I’ll fall ill if I  _ look _ at Lupin for another second.”

“Great, so hop along to the infirmary so I can stop feeling nauseous every time there’s a draught.”

Lily stood and stared at both boys long and hard. “Do either of you want to move on to third year?”

“Yes but I don’t see why-”

“Of course I do but  _ Lupin- _ ”

“You’d be lucky to get a ‘D’ without Sev’s help,” she half-shouted, half hissed at Remus, “and while I may be good at charms,” her annoyance redirected to Snape, “The only reason I u _ nderstand _ what I’m doing in charms is because Remus is brilliant at explaining things. So if either of you expect to graduate in five years, I suggest you swallow your egos enough to cooperate once in awhile!” And then, with a bout of uncharacteristic impulsiveness, she snatched up her own book bag and left the library. 

Silence fell like a thick blanket over the hall of study. Remus and Snape sat uncomfortably amongst the stares that had ensued the scene, neither willing to look at the other. 

Snape coughed. 

Remus cleared his throat. 

Snape spoke. “Um…” his voice sliced through the silence like a cannon being fired in the dead of night. 

“Shall we start at the beginning here too?” asked Remus softly, trying not to wince when his voice echoed in the room despite the walls of books and the thick carpet. 

“That would seem appropriate.” The pair nodded stiffly in acknowledgement of their plan and set to work as the volume in the library returned, much to the annoyance of Madam Pince, to its regular drone of indistinguishable murmurs. 

Catching Snape up took significantly less time than it had for Remus, mostly because he already had a grasp on the subject and because he had been lacking a key concept that went a long way in understanding the way the charms worked. 

When they eventually left for lunch, they did so with a truce of sorts. It was a pre-emptive strike against the logically anticipated wrath that could be expected from Lily every June. They had agreed on a plan. From July to mid-May, they would act as they had all year. They weren’t enemies exactly, and Snape didn’t have much reason to outwardly dislike Remus, but he despised those that Remus associated himself with, with the exception of Lily of course. They certainly didn’t like each other, but for the period before exams, they agreed to swallow their pride and be civil to one another. 

The boys parted ways as soon as practically possible, but as both were headed for lunch, that was not until they had passed through three corridors and by then, they had been spotted. 

“Remus! Hurry up before you catch something from that slimeball.”

Remus rolled his eyes and headed to where James was calling him. Snape merely sneered and headed into the great hall. 

“Where do you think you’re going Snivellus?” jeered Sirius over Peter’s head. “Off to poison some more students with your presence?”

“Leave it alone Sirius.”

“No! What did the creep do to you?”

“Nothing!” Remus defended, feeling that admitting to accepting help from the slytherin was a bad idea. “We were just in the library at the same time, that’s all.”

“Fine.” halfway down the great hall, Snape fell suddenly onto his face, and James turned back to his friends with an impish grin on his face. Remus felt his stomach sink. The truce would be a strenuous thing to uphold.

* * *

 

Breakfast on Monday morning was a tense affair across the entire castle. The schedules for the first through fourth, and sixth year examinations had been posted the previous afternoon. 

_ 2nd Year: Monday- Charms _

_ Tuesday- Transfiguration _

_ Wednesday-History of Magic (Morning), Astronomy (evening) _

_ Thursday- Herbology _

_ Friday- Potions _

_ Monday- Defense Against the Dark Arts _

Many students, with the exception of the fifth and seventh years who had written their OWLs and NEWTs the previous week and were mostly still asleep, were silently scrambling to cram every bit of their notes into their brains in the few minutes they had left. Others, Like two thirteen-year-old boys at the gryffindor table, felt that they could do no wrong. This caused Remus great annoyance. Peter just expected failure, but Remus cared. He needed everything he could get and he had a genuine love for learning. A love that was being disrupted by his roommates as they loudly recited every nursery rhyme they could think of. 

There were too many voices and spells and concepts swirling around in his head and he couldn’t concentrate. “Could you please shut up!” he asked, not realising just how far that particular tone of voice carried. The request rang out across the hall as an empty echo, breaking the remaining silence. Remus shrank back, attempting to hide his reddening face from the prying eyes of the entire student body. 

“What?” demanded Sirius, “Are we not allowed to express ourselves?”

“I do believe that freedom of speech is something to which I am entitled.”

“I’m afraid you’re wrong about that James.” Remus commented as the bell sounded, summoning them to class. “Not in the magical world at least.”

James and Sirius glowered at their roommate as he packed up the books he had been doing some last-minute studying from. Peter had to be shaken awake, and he kept his head down as they made their way to the Charms classroom. Remus kept his nose in his textbook, and the other two spent the walk committing minor acts of mischief.

* * *

 

All in all, the first three days worth of exams passed without much consequence. Sure, there were random instances of Slytherins and the occasional student from the other houses breaking out in spots, growing extra appendages, or dancing uncontrollably through the hallways, but the exams did not begin to affect the youngest Lupin until Thursday. During the Herbology theory exam that morning, both Remus and Romulus had been hit was waves of restlessness and had struggled to focus on their papers. 

Romulus’s approach to the issue was to fake his way through the test as fast as he could, then get out and run through the halls. 

Remus, on the other hand, was bound and determined to do everything to the best of his ability. He still felt like he had to prove his worthiness to be there after having missed the first year of study. He was at his desk until the final tick of the clock, dragging his runaway mind back to work every forty seconds and writing his best possible answer to the questions. He knew them all, and he knew he knew them, but it was difficult to sift through his mind when he kept losing his train of thought.

Professor Styne offered a gentle smile when he startled his final pupil out of his thought-induced stupour. “I’m sorry Lupin, but your time is up.”

Remus looked around, and it took him a moment to register that he was the only person under thirty in the classroom. Then he realised that his stomach was rumbling and that his head was throbbing. He nodded and pitched jerkily to his feet and grabbed onto the desk. 

“Are you alright son?” Remus blinked and found himself back in his chair, his professor looking at him as though he were about to fall over, which was probably why Remus was back in his seat, even if he didn’t remember sitting down. “I can let you off the practical until you’re feeling better if you’d like to go to the hospital wing early.”

Remus set his jaw. He’d be damned if he spent any more time stuck in that bed than absolutely necessary. “I’ll be fine,” he said as casually as he could manage. “I just need some fresh air and some food.” He didn’t mention that his head was pounding, or that he saw a few black spots as he began to stand once more, carefully gripping the desk in a mapper that seemed relaxed, and not as though he were holding onto it for dear life. “Thank you though Professor, it was a kind offer.” And then he staggered as quickly and as gracefully as he could out the door and around the corner. 

As it turned out, fresh air and water was what Remus needed. He spent his lunch break walking the grounds with his brother, drinking from his wand-turned-fountain and nibbling on a sandwich Romulus had grabbed from the Great Hall for him. They walked in silence for several minutes, simply enjoying each other’s presence.

“So, they let my mom go.” offered Romulus. 

“Really?” asked Remus. “That’s great. So you heard back then?”

Romulus shrugged. “Sort of.” 

“Meaning what?” The pair stopped walking and took a seat under a large tree by the lake. 

“Meaning that she was fined but that she didn’t realise the full extent of what had been done to the howler she purchased.”

“Wait, she had to purchase a howler?”

Romulus laughed once. “She’s about as bad as you are with potions and she’s not the best at charms wither.” He sounded tired, emotionally. “She says she was only trying to send a howler infused with a potion that would make me suggestible, which is still illegal, but it’s not nearly as bad as using someone like a remote control.

This was something that had to be explained to Remus, whose family had an old television, but the idea of controlling something remotely was new-and expensive- to him. 

“She wants me to transfer.” Remus had no words to convey his disappointment. “Said that I was lucky I even got to stay until exams. Thinks that the school in the United States will give me a better education and better influences.” The last notes were made with sarcasm dripping from his voice. “I don’t want to go.”

“I don’t want you to go either.” Remus was pushing down the anger and sadness that were coursing through his veins and fell into another silence with his half-sibling.

* * *

 

The hospital wing was quiet during dinner, save the soft but constant patter of feet as Nurse Biddle packed up her office. Remus had been there since the end of the herbology practical, escorted by Professor Styne himself, who refused to accept Remus’s word that he didn’t need any help finding the infirmary. He hadn’t been able to sleep, and he flat out refused any potions, though dulling the pounding in his head might have been a good idea. He felt as though there were constantly a train running full tilt over his mind, but potions would numb his senses and he  _ really _ needed to hunker down and study for tomorrow’s exam. 

At half past eight he dragged himself to his feet, brain swimming all the way. Then he packed his books neatly into his bag and left it in the cupboard before he started for the door. 

“Lupin!” Madam Pomfrey appeared in the door of the nurse’s office, a stone sculpture clapped in her hands. “Where do you think you’re going?”

“I thought I’d head back to my dormitory so I could have my friends for a midnight snack.” he offered dryly. 

Pomfrey’s expression darkened and she strode towards her charge. “We don’t jest about such things young man.” His humour had earned him a smack upside the head. Remus saw stars. “Now where’s your cloak?”

Remus rolled his eyes. “It’s June. I don’t need my cloak.” He crossed his arms in defiance when she made to counter. 

“Fine. You want to catch cold? I won’t cure it.”

“Good. The stuff tastes awful anyway.”

“Enough chit chat you two, get a move on.” came Biddle’s voice from her office. 

Remus and Pomfrey each shot a glance rearwards and headed out to the grounds.

Despite the fact that he couldn’t walk-  or see- in a straight line, Remus purged on ahead of the graduate healer who was supposed to be leading him. He didn’t wait for her to arrive at the whomping willow either, he levitated a pebble up to the knot and had vanished before Pomfrey was in sight.

Consciously, he knew that rushing his process wouldn’t cause the transformation to occur, or more to the point- be done with, any sooner than scheduled, but it made him feel strangely better. He felt the pull of the moon taking over as the sun started to go down, and he steeled himself for the coming pain, which inevitably slammed into him like a tsunami the second the sun finally disappeared.

One of the advantages of summer is that night is significantly shorter. It means that Remus passes less time as the wolf- which generally results in less time slashing at itself. The disadvantage is that his alter ego wants to get out and run more.

* * *

 

Remus was unusually conscious for the trip back to the hospital wing at the break of dawn, but barely. He was not coherent enough to pick himself up off the floor, let alone walk back to the castle, so he was heaved up onto a stretcher and levitated as was the norm. He fell asleep somewhere between the front doors and the infirmary.

* * *

 

The warning bell sounded the end of breakfast and as the students in the great hall trudged their way up to class, Remus was just waking up. He shot up in bed the second the bell rang, startled awake by the sound, and searched frantically for the clothes that he had put in the safe the previous evening.  _ I guess I could try to transfigure my pyjamas into robes but… _ his scan of this curtained-off space at the back of the room landed on the cupboard where he had stored his books before heading out to the grounds,  _ Unless… _ Ignoring the pain in his side every time he moved, he rolled quietly off his bed and pulled open the door.  _ Bingo.  _ He dressed as quickly and as quietly as he could, wincing all the while, then he tiptoed over to the medicine cabinet and searched for a potion that would numb the pain. Remus may not be able to brew potions to save his life, but he knew what his usuals smelled like. He almost gagged at the smattering of scents and had to back up for a breath every few moments. Finally, after what felt like tens of wasted minutes, Remus found the right bottle and tipped the flask. 

“Are you up already Mr. Lupin?” called the nurse when she heard the cabinet door creak shut. Hearing no reply, she came out into the main hospital wing-just in time to catch the door swinging shut. “Lupin?” his curtains drawn, bed made, and pyjamas folded neatly on the cupboard. “Well, he’s determined, I’ll give him that.” she said shaking her head and returning to finish packing her things. 

Remus stumbled into his potions examination room completely winded and gasping for air mere seconds before the bell sounded the beginning of the period. 

“Nice of you to join us Mr. Lupin. Please take your seat.” Slughorn sounded bored ahe he outlined his instructions for the day’s proceedings before passing out the written portion of the exam. “You have 90 minutes. You may begin.”

Remus did his best to ignore the curious looks from his friends who were no doubt wondering where he had been the previous evening. He stared at the first question. 

_ Outline the effects of adding excess Bat spleen to a swelling solution and actions that should be taken to compensate the mistake. _

He stared at the page as quills around him started to scratch their way annoyingly across the parchment. He remembered going over  _ all _ the topics on the exam, but none came to mind. And if they did, they were disjointed fragments and sneered comments from his tutor. 

Fifteen minutes passed, and all that was written on his test papers was  _ Remus Lupin. _ Unsure of what to do, he chanced a glance at the blackboard, finding instead Professor Slughorn lording over the class, a smug grin crept onto his face when he caught Remus’s eye. He didn’t think a werewolf deserved to be here. The attitude that the potions master had already displayed towards him had proven that. Or maybe t was fear, or maybe he just didn’t think that such a person was capable.  _ I need to get through this just to prove him wrong.  _

So he waited for Slughorn to turn his attention to the other half of the room and he let his gaze creep over to the exam to his left. He knew it was cheating and he knew it was wrong. But Remus also knew that if he weren’t so stressed and exhausted and damn determined to prove his professor wrong he would be able to recall the information. Besides, all it took was a few words here and there to jog his memory, so that wasn’t  _ really _ cheating was it?  _ Yea or nay, I just won’t say anything to Lily about it. _

After the initial memory jaunt, Remus only needed one more to complete his exam, and he did so before the call of “Quills Down!” But when he left the classroom, he began to sweat. 

“Hey Remus, where’d you wander off to?”

Remus froze in the midst of Peter’s words; he’d not gotten a chance to say anything to his friends before being carted off to the hospital wing the previous afternoon. Had Lily said anything? Did they ask McGonagall?  _ No, McGonagall would just tell then to ask me.  _ He searched the corridor frantically for his confidante, but found his brother instead.  _ This will either go very well or very poorly.  _

“Remus you made it back in time!” Romulus was making his way over. 

“Um, yeah. Just in time.”

“Is your mom feeling better then?”

Fortunately, Remus’s peers didn’t notice the look off confusion that he gave his brother. They were more focused on being good friends. “What happened?”

“Is your mum sick”

“Is she going to be okay?”

This gave Remus the time he needed to come to his senses and figure out what he was going to say. “Yeah. She’ll be fine. She caught the chicken pox from one of her students and got pretty ill.”

SIrius snickered. “ _ Chicken _ pox? What’s so bad about a pox if they’re named after  _ chickens? _ ”

“It's a muggle ailment, mate. Bit like dragon pox but without the funny colours and the sparks.”

“I don’t see why they pulled you out of class though. The only people who usually die from Dragon Pox are the really old ones.  _ Pachelbel _ .” said James to the Fat lady as the five reached the portrait guardian of Gryffindor Tower. 

“Usually you just get it as a kid and then you’re immune.” Few students were in the common room, and those who would actually care that a Ravenclaw had come in were nowhere to be seen. “But if you don’t get it as a kid and you  _ do _ get it as an adult…”

“It can get pretty ugly.” Remus summarized. “Can we talk about something else now? Like what was the answer for question four?”

Remus got question four wrong. And nie, twelve, thirteen, and twenty. There were a few that he got at least partly right, but enough so that he felt fairly confident that he had passed.

* * *

 

Remus barely even studied for Defense Against the Dark Arts that was set for Monday. He spent most of his weekend sleeping off his transformation and letting the wounds that came with it heal. He also read and made appearances at mealtimes. 

On Saturday afternoon, he succumbed to the pain and nausea that had been plaguing him for since the potion he’d snuck the day before wore off, and he went to the hospital wing. 

He regretted it almost immediately. 

“Where have you been Lupin?”

“Oops”

“Sorry, dear, I didn’t catch that” 

Remus did a quick scan of the room. Empty. “I was writing my potions exam.”

“You were not cleared to leave the hospital Lupin. You could have…”

Remus tuned her out as best as he could and simply walked to the potions cabinet, selected a vial from the same shelf as earlier, sniffed it, and left the infirmary with a cheeky smile to the raving matron.

* * *

 

Despite not revising, Remus felt that he passed his final class with flying colours, and chose to spend the remainder of his time at Hogwarts lying in the sun by the lake, and driving Mr Filch up the walls with James’s invisibility cloak. 

The train ride home for the summer started as a boisterous affair. There was plenty of joking and laughter in the last compartment of the train. Halfway through the journey, there was a knock at the door and Regulus appeared, beckoning his sibling for a private word. 

“THEY DID WHAT?”

The doors of all the compartments in their car were flung open, and heads began to pop out. 

“Sirius, please calm down” the younger boy pleaded. “We don’t need to make a scene.”

“Oh, but it’s perfectly alright for my cousin to get hexed into oblivion?”

“It wasn’t oblivion!” Regulus’s face was reddening. “She’s fine.”

Sirius crossed his arms over his chest, wand gripped in his hand. “So Andy’s fine, what about Ted then?”

Regulus grimaced and stared hard at his brother. “He’s a muggle born, So what?”

Regulus didn’t see it coming. Neither did Sirius really, he never thought he would punch his little brother in the face. 

The comptrain car fell silent, save for the crack of sirius’s fist against the smaller Black’s jaw. Remus winced. He knew how hard his friend could punch.

Not another word was spoken until they arrived at the station. None of the Gryffindors felt like broaching the subject with Sirius. They did not want to risk his temper. 

They had no desire to open the floodgates, and it felt wrong to begin a jovial conversation again when they knew that two students had been assaulted somewhere on the train. 

“I’ll try to write when I get home.” Was all that Sirius said before hauling his trunk out of the compartment and off the train, leaving the rest of the group to sit in silence as they waited for the clamour to die down. 

“Do you have a muggle address Remus?” Rom asked suddenly. 

“Not really, why?”

“I was going to write and have my stepfather mail it for me.”

“Give me yours and I’ll figure something out.” Remus stood to gather his belongings. 

“You game for coming to visit?” James asked Peter and Remus when their feet hit the platform. 

Remus faltered. “Um, Sure, I’d just have to check the dates with my folks. I’ll write you though, my parents are waiting.”

Remus waved to his friends and scanned the crowd of reuniting families for his brother-they’d said goodbye on the train to avoid any problems on the issue of Aster Betts. 

He was welcomed with open arms and more kisses than his ego could deal with. 

“How was your first year son?” 

In that instant Remus realized that he  _ had _ done it. He made it an entire year without being exposed. He launched into stories regaling his experiences- and minor exploits, and all the while, he never stopped smiling. It took his mother hitting him upside the head to remind him that one was not to talk with food in one’s mouth-especially at the dinner table, but his father just laughed. 

Remus was counting down the days before he could go back, but in the meantime, he would have sciences to keep him busy. Lily’s idea. Remus had enrolled himself in several muggle secondary courses and if James and Sirius found out about it, there would be endless torment. But the suggestion was made with the thought that potions might come easier if he had a better understanding of how things interact with one another. So Chemistry was on the list, as were Physics and a few others. But that was Monday. He still had the weekend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-dah! Maybe. I actually feel a bit odd with this one, Plwase advise if you have any comments, questions, concerns, ideas, queries, conundrums, etc...  
> One Eyed Wolf, OUT, 22 may 2019


	33. Lettters and Learning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, it's been a month and you don't want to hear my apologies but if I don't I will be cursed by the geese, so I'm SO sorry it's taken so long. I've been fighting through a significant block, so I took my day off of work to write- I even interrupted my Merlin Marathon because I finally got through to myself. Please enjoy and don't hate me.

**13 July 1972**

_ With electrodes secure in beaker and test tubes, connect one to each of the battery terminals using a length of wire. Be careful not to short the battery.. _

_ Record your observations.  _

Remus watched with slight boredom as bubbles began to appear on the electrodes in his beaker and with slightly more interest as the levels inside the test tubes began to rise. 

_ This is not what I was expecting chemistry to be. _ He kept to himself mostly, answering whatever questions he was directly asked to the best of his ability- and even volunteering information for some. As he finished the experiment with a  _ pop _ of the hydrogen, Remus was beginning to have a bit better of an understanding of his least favourite subject, but he was also itching to get out of the school. 

_ “BANG!” _

The entire class jumped and spun around to find one of the students standing stock still at his station, a beaker in his hand and his eyebrows singed. Their teacher, Mr. Wilks, rushed in from the hallway where he had been discussing a lesson with another teacher and shook his head.

“Alright, class dismissed. Put away your equipment, the write-up is due Monday.”

After stowing his remaining equipment in the cupboard under his bench, Remus walked as quickly as he could without being called out for running in the corridors and made a beeline for his locker. He’d been expecting a letter from his brother since he’d worked out muggle post with his parents, and Hope was taking him to the post office that afternoon. 

”Going somewhere?” 

Remus came to a halt just out the doors and turned to his mother. “Hi mum.” Then he started walking to the car. 

‘Is that it?” she asked. “What, no hug for your mother?” Remus met her stare, but hope had had thirteen years of dealing with her son, and she wasn’t about to back down. Finally, her son sighed and scurried over, too excited to simply walk. She knew he was excited because the second he made contact, Hope was zapped by several static sparks. “Alright, alright, stop sparking and get in the car. There’s a letter from one of your school friends in the glove box.”

Without missing a beat, Remus bobbed and weaved through the throng of students now exiting the building. Despite his being enrolled in a program for students two years his senior, Hope could still tell where her son was, watching the sandy head make its way towards their vehicle.” He hadn’t had a growth spurt in awhile but he’d always been taller than his classmates. Here, he was about even.

* * *

 

The Lupin household, despite having once been a muggle residence, did not have a letterbox, and even if it did, it was rather remote and would not receive regular delivery. Hope had offered to check the mail every week for the school she supplied at, and Romulus was to address his letters to the primary school.

_ James,  _

_ I’m sorry it took so long to respond, but your letter took it’s sweet time to get here.  _

_ I haven’t had much of a break this summer so far because I’ve been stuck babysitting for my neighbours but Ben took me flying for the first time last week, and I must say, it’s a lot noisier than a broom but it also feels a little safer.  _

_ Mom still wants me to transfer next year though, and after what you went through, I’d really rather not go through that because I know they’re going to throw a ton of tests at me to see where I am and Professor McGonagall-she’s been helping prepare me for what to expect- said they’ll probably put me back a year despite the fact that our curriculum is more comprehensive than theirs. And then there’s quadpot! What kind of sport is that? I mean really; tossing around a ball that is liable to explode just doesn’t sound like fun to me, Besides, the death rate is pretty high. I think I’d rather play Australian Football- one of my classmates showed me a recording of their brother playing in a professional match and it was absolute mayhem.  _

_ Anyway, I look forward to your letter, just wanted to check in and see how you were.  _

_ Hope all goes well, _

_ Rom. _

Remus chuckled a bit at the letter, It was all he could do to prevent himself getting outraged at the woman who had accidentally mortally endangered her son and who refused to allow him to communicate with his brother. So he moved onto the letter that was  _ from _ James. 

_ Remus, _

_ I remember you saying you’d have to check with your parents about when you could come over so I’ll just let you choose. Sound good? _

_ My parents have been pretty busy so far, but dad’s finally retired now so that frees me up a bit since they don’t trust me enough to not burn the house down with friends over. Apparently I don’t need any help to do that.  _

_ Back to the point, you’re invited for a week- take your pick and i’ll get Peter and Sirius here too. It’ll be great. _

_ See you soon, I know Sirius is itching to get out of his house. _

_ James. _

Remus sat himself down at the kitchen table that evening and responded to both letters. 

_ Rom,  _

_ I really wish you could stay at Hogwarts, it won’t be nearly as interesting without you there. I also don’t need to be reigning Sirius in when he decides that someone needs to take your place as the main agitator in Ravenclaw- don’t hit me I know you don’t do it on purpose. Seriously though, Lily will be my only escape and that means I’ll have to deal with Snape. _

_ On second thought, I think I’ll suffer whatever the other two do and take the detention. It’’ probably be more pleasant.  _

_ What was the airplane like? I’ve only ever seen the contrails overhead, and I have a feeling you weren’t flying in something quite that big. Did you get to fly it yourself? Or is that something you need a permit for, like driving a car? _

_ Personally, I think I’d rather sit down with a book than play either of those sports, though I’m not terrible at ordinary football. I was almost always keeper in primary, but looking back at it I’m wondering if some of those saves had a little assistance… _

_ Won’t magic mess with the instruments in the airplane? That could be a bit of an issue.  _

_ Good luck wherever you end up, just hoping you don’t need it, _

_ R _

_ James _

 

_ James,  _

_ I just wrote the strangest feeling letter. My brother wrote me, calling me you so I had to write back as you or his mother would find out and go completely bonkers. So, James-James Potter, thanks for the invitation, and as much as I’d like to take you up on a full week, I can’t. It’ll just have to be a weekend for me. If Sirius is really itching, I’m free next weekend. Anything I should bring? _

_ Let me know, _

_ Remus, or James depending on who I’m writing.  _

About to get up, Remus spotted his chemistry and potions books stacked up on the shelf beside the lamp and pulled out another sheaf of parchment and he traded his quill for a ballpoint pen, and he wrote his friend who respected his studious nature. 

_ Lily, _

_ How is your vacation? I’ve never been away from home aside for school so I wouldn’t know.  _

_ I wanted to say thanks for sticking the idea in my head, well, I think it might’ve actually been James by accident- he’ll be mortified if he finds out. Anyway, thanks for helping me get summer classes sorted. Chemistry and potions really aren't that different- it’s just that the muggles stop and break it down a bit more instead of saying ‘this is how it works’. I think I might be able to pass on my own next year- the theory portion anyway.   _

_ Don’t tell anyone, but I’m thinking about doing a few muggle courses by correspondence over the school year. I think they’ll be useful when we get to more complicated topics in transfiguration, and who knows, maybe i’ll be able to use it to my advantage later in life.  _

_ Seriously though, James and Sirius can’t find out- I’d never hear the end of it. I think it would just confuse Peter.  _

_ Any suggestions? I’m thinking at least physics and chemistry but I think I can takke on a few more.  _

_ Thanks again, _

_ Remus _

“Remus!” Startled by the summons from upstairs Remus silently thanked the inventor of ball point pens- otherwise he’d have to hide magic in plain sight to siphon the hypothetically spilled ink from the page. That, or he’d have to rewrite all three letters, and his hand was cramping from writing so meticulously. Normally, his writing was neat but cramped and almost indecipherable. Slowing down and taking the time to space out the letters made it a bit better. He pitied those who had to read his rushed writing. “Remus,” his mother came into the kitchen and took one look at the paper-and-book covered table before directing her son. “Please clear and set the table, the roast should be almost done. 

Smiling sheepishly, Remus stood to obey his mother’s wishes. “‘Will Dad be home in time for dinner?”

Hope sighed. “I’m not sure, he got called out for some sort of emergency pest removal around noon but he said it might take awhile.” She glanced out the window to the empty drive. “Leave his by the stove.”

* * *

 

Lyall did not return until after midnight, and when he did, his spirit lightened slightly when he saw his son sleeping upright on the couch, head lolled off to the side and dripping drool, hands sprawled in his lap where they had presumably been holding the book that was now open face down on the floor on what must be the wrong page. The only reason Lyall could see this at all was because Remus had fallen asleep with the light on.

When he stooped to collect his son, the light of the nearly-full moon caught his eye through the window. Lyall froze. The trees rustled in the wind. Suddenly nervous, he drew his wand and double-checked the locks on the front and kitchen doors.

Only once his wash of panic had receded did he stoop once more to collect his son. He would’ve used magic but his wife did not believe that levitating one’s child up the stairs because they were too lazy to carry them themselves was an appropriate use of the skill. These opinions also applied to such things as the washing and chopping wood. Likely because he had been too afraid to tell her until shortly before Remus was bitten. 

With his son safe in bed, well, as safe as he could be when the bloody thing was covered in hard, heavy, and pointy books, Lyall took leave to his shared bed and fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

 

Remus wasn’t quite sure how he felt when he awoke on Sunday morning prior to the full moon. He was up at the crack of dawn as usual; with a crick in his neck. a growling stomach, and feeling as though he could run a marathon. He knew he couldn’t run that far, but his muscles were itching to stretch nonetheless. 

Since he was up before his parents, it was up to him to make breakfast if he wanted anything, and want it he did. Eggs and ham and bacon and- 

“Remus?” Lyall was leaning against the kitchen doorway, watching his son gather all the meat in the house for his morning meal. 

“Morning Dad.” Remus’s voice was muffled from inside the refrigerator. 

“You are  _ not _ eating that all in one sitting.” Lyall, now fully in the kitchen, pulled a pan out of the cupboard by the stove and lit the burner with his wand.

“But-” Remus pulled his head out of the fridge to try and argue with his father. 

“Remus, you do not need to bleed us dry of all our meat in one day.” staring his son down, he said  ” You can have two.”

With a pout, Remus returned all but the ham and eggs to the icebox while his father started tea. When the meat was back in its place, Remus started to pull bread and fruit off the counter and pile it on the table. Lyall sim[ly rolled his eyes and flipped the bacon so it wouldn’t burn.

* * *

 

Remus, much to his despair, started the day chopping firewood for the coming winter.

“But Dad, it's not even August!” he protested.

“That may be so, but it  _ is _ nice out  _ now _ .”

"What's that got to do with anything?” he asked, setting another log onto his chopping block.

“Would you rather do this on a nice day or a dreary one?”

“I think I’d rather not do it at all.” Lyall chuckled- he knew the feeling 

“You can either help with the firewood or help your mother in the house” Remus’s head snapped over to the kitchen window where he could see his mother doing her bi-weekly baking. “And she won’t let you eat any of it. Not today at least.” They'd had a few cases of a transformed sugar-addled-Remus causing some damage in the basement.

Remus swung the axe again, harder than he should have because he also split the chopping block. He loved his mother’s baking and was hankering for a slice of her chocolate cake “Why can’t you just do this with magic?”

“Its your mother’s idea of retribution.” At his son's puzzled look, Lyall elaborated. “I didn’t tell her about magic until you started pulling stunts when you were three.”

“I didn’t do anything before that?” His parents rarely spoke of when he was little, Remus figured it was because it was a reminder of normalcy lost. 

“Sure you did, but magically summoning your binky or throwing your food when her back was turned was much easier to explain away than a toddler appearing in the chimney,” a sad smile played on the father’s face, “or- you favourite- levitating books from the shelf to build your tower because you ran out of blocks.

“You’d think she’d let you use it to make life easier” 

“Oh, she does.” The saddened smile turned into one of genuine happiness, “For her benefit. Watch in the window, even after ten years your mother finds my chopping wood hysterical.“ But Hope wasn’t in the window; Remus had just heard the kitchen door open and close again- presumably she was coming to fetch them for dinner.

“Even after ten years?” Remus asked, not entirely understanding  _ why _ someone would hold onto a vandetta that made their life harder for to long. 

“He didn’t tell me he was like you until months later, if he even planned to do it at all” Remus snickered when his father, who had obviously not heard his wife coming, jumped back in surprise. 

“Erm, no, I wasn’t planning to.”

“So why did you?” Remus asked in wonder. 

For several moments, neither parent spoke aloud. Instead they seemed to be having a silent conversation right in front of their son. “There wasn’t exactly  _ time _ to tell her Remus… not with you…” Lyall looked painfully at his youngest son and though he never completed the sentence, the message got through.

_ Oh _ . Despite his pre-moon jitters, Remus felt all the energy drain from his body, and suddenly, the grass at his feet was growing in very interesting patterns.

“I think you’re actually the only reason she still spoke to me at that point, too scared to be angry.” Lyall said in a failed attempt to lighten the mood. 

“Come on you two, it’s well after noon and your lunch is getting cold.” Hope knew how her boys worked: filling the stomach generally soothed the mind, and on that day, it worked.

* * *

 

“Remus John Lupin! Where have you been?” Hope took one look at her filthy, mud-splattered son and blocked the door into the kitchen.

“In the forest” he responded simply, eyes cast down, 

“Doing what?” Her green eyes narrowed on her son as his interrogation progressed. 

“Catching toads”

_ “And” _ It was never  _ just _ toads. 

“Grindylows” The boy jerked and abruptly shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Remus” The tone was a warning to spill  _ or else _ . Remus never liked the ‘or else’ bit so he chose to spill. 

“Red Caps and hinkypunks and I  _ almost _ caught a graphorn. And I know I was out longer than I should’ve been but I just couldn’t stop  _ moving _ !” It was true; his hand and foot were tapping to some unheard beat, splattering flecks of mud onto what little of the freshly scrubbed kitchen it could reach with him standing on the back stoop, and the rest of him was squirming on the spot. 

Hope’s eyes darted to a lump on the left side of her son’s trousers. “What’s in your pocket?”

Remus could feel her eyes drilling into his skull and carefully removed a small squirming ball of black fur from his pocket. 

“And that would be?” 

“A niffler.”Sensing his mother’s distrust of the creature, he leapt to its defense. “But it’s harmless, I promise!”

“Remus…”

“Can I keep it? Please?” His eyes were pleading and he had never had a pet before. “I’ll feed it and keep it in a cage and everything.”

Lyall was out for the afternoon, but there were small animal cages in the garden shed that he occasionally used to capture magical pests for work. “You can keep it for now, but I’ll have to ask your father when he gets home.”

Remus’s face lit up and he made to run up to his room in celebration with the creature. 

“Hold up young man.” Remus paused in the doorway into the house. “You aren’t coming inside like that, you’re absolutely filthy. Go get changed then come eat your supper.”

Grinning like an idiot, the boy fetched a cage from the shed for his new pet, and stripped his mud-soaked clothes and sprinted to his room, pausing only to toss his laundry in the hamper. 

He returned downstairs minutes later dressed in a bathrobe and devoured his meal while adding the finishing touches to a chemistry assignment, glancing up to the fireplace every once in awhile waiting for his father to return.

Lyall Lupin had yet to return home by the time Remus found himself climbing down the ladder into the basement. It was a little larger than their previous home’s, but far less spacious than he had grown accustomed to while at hogwarts. WHen he stepped off the ladder, it folded back up into the ceiling, barren but for a single burned-out bulb. There were a few empty boxes in one corner and a wobbly table in the other. There was no light except for what filtered through the cracks around the trapdoor that led up to the kitchen, so the only method he had to discern the passage of time was the sinking feeling in his stomach and the rising of the wolf in his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there it is, I hope you enjoyed. Comments, questions, concerns, ideas? All are welcome. I'll try to keep myself on a better schedule but I make no promises except that this WILL continue, it just moght take awhile sometimes. 
> 
> One Eyed Wolf, OUT 18 June 2019


	34. To Plan Shenanigans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm late and I'm sorry but you were warned. Please accept this chapter as my apology, short as it may be.  
> Oh, yeah- if you recognize it from something other than my work- it's probably not mine.

**17 July 1973**

_Knock knock knock._

No response, though she didn’t exactly expect one. Hope cracked open the door to her son’s room, peering around it as she did so.

“Remus,” she said cautiously. “Remus.” He was awake now, raspy breaths turning shallow. “Have you seen my earrings, dear?”

Remus rolled over slowly and gave his mother an incredulous stare.

Hope winced. “Sorry dear.”

The door closed with a soft click.

* * *

 

“Are you certain we can leave him alone, Lyall? I don’t want to be out if he needs us.”

Lyall fought the urge to roll his eyes. “I asked him Sunday and he said he would be fine by himself.”

“But that was-”

“And when I went to ask this morning,” he continued, shooting his wife an amused look, “he gave me a right beastly glower for having bothered him at all.” Hope opened her mouth again, doubt etched between her brows. “Then he said get out.”

“Lyall Lupin,” she hissed, “that is _not_ getting his permission!”

“Take it as you will, but seeing as we _never_ get to go out, and as it’s our anniversary, I’m going to let it be his blessing.”

“Lyall--”

The hinges on the door gave a loud snap as it swung open to reveal an empty laneway and a beautiful evening. Hope glared at her husband accusingly. 

Lyall shrugged, “I’ll be out in a moment.” Once Hope was in the car and out of earshot Lyall hollered up the stairs “Remus John Lupin, you and I will be having a talk about that magic of yours when I get home!” 

A broom flew up behind him and started sweeping at his ankles, the stiff fibres biting at his heels and ushering him onto the front stoop. He pulled the door closed behind him before the broom scuffed his shoes. “I mean it Remus!” he called through the letter slot.

“What was that about?” Hope asked.

“Nothing, dearest. Just making sure he knows he’s supposed to be resting.”

Hope raised her brow but said nothing, instead turning away to start the car. 

* * *

 

“Remus!”

Remus barely had a chance to materialize in the Potter’s hearth before Peter was dragging him from it, James and Sirius nowhere to be seen. 

“Come save me from flying? _Please?_ ” Peter asked, pleading silently with his friend. 

The werewolf smiled. “Don’t know what you’re talking about, mate. I love flying.”

“ You crash every time you fly!”

“Nonsense.” Remus limped towards the door with Peter close behind. 

“You do so! I may not have been here to see the first time, but I saw you do it at school.”

“Landings are overrated.” They stopped just short of the clearing that was often used for flying, Remus leaning against a tree to briefly rest his leg. He could hear James and Sirius’s laughter echoing through the trees. “Besides, the first broom I flew was worse off than some of the school ones.” Remus lurched on towards the edge of the trees where he would be in full view of the make-shift pitch. 

He glanced back for a moment to see that his smallest friend wasn’t following and his foot dropped into a small burrow. Biting back a curse, he tried to tug himself free.

“Could really use some help here, mate,” he grit out. Peter scrambled up beside him and gripped his ankle. Pain seared up his shin - broken not three days before - and the gash on the back of his calf tore open. Warm blood trickled down his leg, slowly sticking his trousers to it. 

“Is that you, Re?” James called as he landed beyond the trees, Sirius hot on his tail. 

“Blasted rodents,” muttered Remus as he and Peter struggled to free the foot.

“Merlin, Lupin, how are you still wearing a bloody jumper? It’s sweltering!” Sirius, for his part, was wearing shorts and shoes.

“I like my jumper, thank you very much,” Remus threw back hastily. He tore his foot out of the hollow and fell backwards with an _oof_. Peter stuck out a hand to help him to his feet; Remus grasped it and pulled himself up - and was subsequently downed with the first step he took.

“ _Fucking hell,_ ” he hissed, rubbing grumpily at his throbbing leg, oblivious to the dead silence around him. 

James, Sirius, and Peter stared at their bookish, reserved, and mild-mannered roommate in shock. 

Peter broke the silence. “You swore,” he squeaked, eyes wide. Remus froze. “No, I didn’t” he shot back immediately- almost automatically, his neck flushed a deep scarlet.

Sirius was grinning ear to ear. “Oh yes you did.”

“Our Remmy is finally growing up.”James was wearing the same proud grin, wiping nonexistent tears from his eyes.

“Say it again, Remmy!”

Remus shook his head, giving Sirius a hard stare. It was a strong, silent: ‘ _NO’_.

“Fuck yeah you do.” Now Peter was wearing the grin, albeit a little nervously, like he was committing a taboo. 

“That’s it Pete.” James patted the smallest boy on the shoulder, “see, if _Peter_ can do it-and you haven’t met his mother” Peter grimaced a touch at the thought of his mother finding out about his newly fouled mouth. “- you can too.”

“You know you want to.” taunted Sirius.

“I really don’t.”

“Come on Remus, you can say it,” Peter whispered softly even though they were in fairly dense brush. “we’re the only ones who’ll hear”

“I don’t care.” Remus stated indignantly. “It shouldn’t’ve slipped out. I’m sorry, can we just head in please?”

“Oh, don’t be like that” Sirius grumbled, slapping the tree as he looked at his friend- who had yet to make another attempt to get off the ground- with annoyance.

“Like what?” Remus hadn’t meant to raise his voice, but he had. _What did I say?_

“Pouty and growly.” Remus shot Peter a look and the boy shrunk back against a tree. 

“We’re just having a laugh egging you on and you go and suck the fun out of it!”

Peter took a step back, forgetting in his nervousness that he was already backed against a tree. 

“Yes well i’d like to join in the fun but-”

“Do you know the meaning of fun?” Grey eyes bored into green, each refusing to break the contact. Peter took a step _sideways_ , then back, and ducked behind the tree to put up a barrier between himself his arguing friends. James rolled his eyes when he saw the move. 

If Remus had been in a position to hit Sirius, he would have. “Of course I do!”

“You aren’t having much at the moment.” Voices were loud, but they were no longer shouting. Instead, Sirius’s tone was accusing. 

“Yes, well, there’d be a reason for that no wouldn’t there?” Remus asked rhetorically, still holding the stare. Feeling blood rush through his mind and his control slipping; be it Remus, or his inner wolf, he couldn’t look away.

“You in a mood today or something?” James asked, prodding Remus’s foot with his toe and a smile, desperately trying to go back to joking around. 

Remus winced. “No, James, I’m in rather a lot of pain.” he managed to grit out, forcing himself to break the stare with Sirius to look James in the face. “And I’d _really_ appreciate it if we could go inside and have someone tend to it before I pass out. “

James and SIriius fell silent, guilt creeping onto their faces as they stooped and hauled Remus to his uninjured foot and became his human crutches. “Hey Pete!” called James once Peter had removed himself from behind the tree. “Could you grab our brooms and bring them in?”

“Alright, be there in a few minutes.”

* * *

 

“There you go. Be right as rain in no time.” Charlus extended an arm to help Remus off the table, his face filled with concern at the state of his patient’s skin- although he was trying to hide it. “May I ask-”

“Remus what HAPPENED?” James demanded bursting through the dining room from the adjoining kitchen where the other three boys had been pulling snacks out of the cupboard. Charlus merely inclined his head as if to say ‘what he said.’

Remus scrambled to roll his trousers back down over the re-sealed wound before it could be seen but he was too late; Sirius and Peter had raced into the room with James’s exclamation and were staring in horror at the trails of scars that marred their friend’s flesh. The long white lines glinted briefly before they were covered up once more.

“Remus, are you okay?” Peter asked gently, eyes still ghosting over Remus’s leg. 

“I’m fine”

“That doesn’t look fine to me.”

“Really James, my neighbour just has a really vicious dog, that’s all. I’m fine.”

“Oh. Why don’t they keep it locked up?”

Remus shrugged, not wanting to overcomplicate the lie. 

“Heard from your brother lately?” he tried, opting to change the subject as they returned to the kitchen table where the snacks were piled high. 

“No, not since you wrote me, but muggle post can take awhile sometimes.”

Soon, Remus was being peppered with questions about how he had been spending his summer, and whether or not he would consider trying out for the quidditch team in the fall. The answer to the latter was a hard no, and the first was more half-truths than whole. He wasn’t sure how to tell them that he had been spending his weekday mornings sitting in a muggle classroom of his own volition.  

While James and Peter bombarded Remus- and each other- with questions to catch up, Sirius sat unusually quietly across the table from Remus, eyeing him with worry. He hadn’t shown any inclination that he believed the lie that the bookish boy had concocted on the spot, but he also hadn’t said anything to voice his suspicions.

It was some time before the quartet moved from their place at the kitchen table. They had played cards, stacked cards, talked, joked, and even done some research for the map that they were making. One spell had potential, however it would be difficult to cast. The enchantment- if casted properly, would facilitate the mapping of more complicated areas of the castle. In the hours spent around that square table, there was one thing that they flat-out refused to do. 

 _“No_ way.”

“Nope, not happening.”

“Never again”

“Oh come on. Sirius. You’re never going to get better if you never try.”

“I will try!” said the Black indignantly. “I just don’t want to play against _you_ ”

“Remus, you’ve beaten every sixth and seventh year in Gryffindor, and you bled a few dry of their pocket money” Remus smirked, remembering the sweet taste of chocolate that his chess winnings had bought him. “I think you’ll have to go to the other houses for victims come September.”

“Fine, fine.” Remus mumbled, shooting Peter a mock pout. “No chess. Anyone got a better idea?”

James and Sirius shared a look and Peter paled. “No, please no, that look never ends well for me.” Remus just laughed

“Remus, do you think you can walk?” asked Sirius, still wearing the grin that spelled doom. 

“Probably, as long as it’s relatively flat and you can’t expect me to do any running.”

Holding a silent conversation, the troublemaking pair debated the likelihood of such an occurrence. “Nah” they said in perfect unison. “Not today at least.” 

“Then what, may I ask, is the plan?” asked Remus, intrigued by the mischievous expressions on their faces.  But while Remus leaned forward toward the excitement, Peter slipped down in his seat, shying away from the ruckus that was sure to be caused.

“Today…” Sirius began, paving the way for James to finish his sentence.

“We are going to observe muggles in their natural habitat.”

This seemed to ease some of the tension on Peter’s face and he stood eagerly, excited to observe muggles in the town as he was rarely in their presence. 

“I was expecting that to be a lot worse.”

“That’s because you don’t know what’s on the schedule for tomorrow.” said the limping Remus with a grin that made Peter want to go back into the house and find a comfy chair to hide himself in. At his words, James and sirius sent a wink towards the remainder of the group, further unnerving the smallest member.

The town was a short walk from the manor, and by the time they arrived, Peter had nearly sweat through his shirt in his nervousness for what was to come. 

“We can’t use magic outside of school”

“Well Peter, “ James threw an almost imperceptible nod to Remus, who had demonstrated that the only practical application was in the homes of muggle-borns. “That’s not entirely true.”

The boy almost halted in his tracks, but a gentle and reassuring nudge from Remus kept him moving forward. “What do you mean ‘ _not necessarily?_ ’” When Sirius’s only response was to smirk further, Peter did stop. “We can’t use magic in front of muggles! That really _is_ illegal. I don’t want to go to azkaban!“ he wailed. 

“Pish posh. What they don’t know won’t hurt them” said Sirius, his grin widening to match James’s. 

Remus smiled, 

Peter gulped.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, long hours, writer's block... I try but I make no promises. Comments? Questions? Concerns? Ideas? Good or bad, let me know (as long as it's polite- otherwise I'll send the geese and that's never fun ;)
> 
> One Eyed Wolf- Out 15 July (barely) 2019


	35. Whatever would we do with something like that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, I'm back. My hectic technically-working-24/7 summer is over and I've surprised myself with how much writing I've been able to do since getting back to school. This chapter was stumping me for weeks, so I'm sorry it's short but it's how I was able to get over it.  
> Characters that were invented by Rowling are not mine.  
> Enjoy

**18 Jul 1973**

The previous afternoon, much to Peter’s relief had _not_ been spent wreaking havoc on the muggles who lived near Potter Manor. They had merely wandered the streets observing the actions of muggle youth and holding pleasant, non-statute-of-secrecy-breaking conversation.   
Saturday was a different story, and Remus was pretty sure that had he been at home, he’d be banished to his room, not sat on the floor of James’s reveling in their success. In the past few hours they’d been chased by several elderly, cane-wielding citizens, a handful of older 

“I didn’t know we could do so much without magic” commented Sirius from his corner of the house of cards they were attempting to build. 

Remus smiled inwardly, adding a few more cards to his section. “Muggles have to find ways to have fun too you know.” Another set of cards was placed, making the north-west corner of their model three layers taller than the rest. 

“Just imagine the possibilities if we were to  _ add _ magic to the muggle ideas.”

Remus was smiling right along with James, and Sirius was outright grinning, but Remus, studious as he was, was also seeing the consequences, “McGonagall is going to  _ hate _ me come September.” he muttered solemnly, before turning his head as the door opened.

“Who’s going to hate you?” Peter asked, back from the toilet.

“Remmy here is dead set that we’re going to tarnish his good name when we go back to school.” Sirius flashed his less trouble-minded roommate a conspiring grin and motioned that Peter should close the door. 

To his credit, the portly boy remembered to do so slowly so as not to cause a draught to blow over the cards, that done, he flopped down on the floor and the cards cascaded down to the carpet just as Remus had stood to place his next set.

“Oops”

* * *

 

Whispered voices woke Remus in the middle of the night coming from the other side of the doors to James’s room. 

“-terrible. Are you sure he’s alright?”

“I’m as sure as I can be.”

“What you described sounds awful, I wonder what happened…”

“Says he was attacked by a dog.”

“You don’t believe that for a second do you?”

“Not one.”

“What do you think happened?”

“I haven’t the faintest idea, it does look like it was an animal though.”

“You don’t think…”

“No, definitely not”

“Is he safe at home though?”

Remus was frozen in his blankets. The paranoia from his first year at school was returning, and Sirius’s constant shifting wasn’t exactly helping to calm his nerves. 

“They seemed like perfectly pleasant people at christmas…”

“NO, NOT REG!”

The hushed voices in the hallway quieted suddenly, and Remus shot up at his friend’s outburst. “Sirius?” He asked tentatively, fully expecting nothing in response. Sirius could sleep through a shelling and barely bat an eye. “Sirius?” Remus asked again, crawling around Peter’s form to reach his goal. 

_ Knock, knock, knock. _ Everything all right in there boys>”

“Just a dream Mrs. Potter. We’ll be fine.”

“If you’re sure then dear, we’ll be off to bed.” Footsteps sounded down the hall and Remus returned to his task.

Sirius had quieted, but he was still thrashing wildly. “Sirius!” Remus hissed again, grabbing his friend’s shoulders and shaking gently. Gentle did not work on Sirius. Neither did firm shaking, so a slap to the face was called for and that seemed to do the trick.

“Where?”

“We’re at the Potter’s. You okay?”

“Remus?” asked the Black boy, rubbing his eyes and squinting through the dark room.

“No, it’s Evans.” said Remus flatly, “Seriously though, are you okay?” 

Sirius said nothing for a long while. He didn’t even attempt to play off the pun that could be made with his name, so something was clearly bothering him.

“Sirius?”

“I’m fine. Just a dream.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” grunted Sirius, curling himself and his blankets into a ball. “How are they still asleep?” he asked, his eyes having finally adapted to the lack of light; he noticed James and Peter still sleeping soundly, one was whistling softly as they snored. Not giving Remus time to answer, he sat up sharply. “Who’s doing that?” he asked. 

“Doing what exactly? Sleeping? I’d like to be.”

“No, no, the whistling. It’s annoying.”

Remus snorted. “You’re worse.”

“I am not. I don’t snore.” stated Sirius proudly. 

“Hate to burst your bubble mate, but you definitely do.”Remus paused, listening for where the sound was coming from. “At the moment, it’s James.”

“At the moment?”

“Yes, you all snore. It's rather annoying really.”

“Who’s the worst?”

On a normal day?” Remus asked, regarding his friend with nervous smile. “You, hands down. With a cold however, Peter could drown out a banshee.”

“There’s no way he can be that loud. I’d hear it.”

“You sleep like a rock. I doubt you’d wake up to an  _ actual _ banshee.”

“That’s not a sight I’d like to wake up to.” said Sirius, a hand to his chest in mock offense. 

“The lot of you,” Remus rolled to his feet, pulling his blanket with him. “Hell, I’ve had a few of the girls come in to ask that my ‘tone deaf roommates turn off the agonizing sound they call music.'”

“I don’t listen to noise.” Sirius stated, his nose stuck up in defiance. Remus snorted. “Which girls though?”

Had the lights been on, Sirius would have been able to see the green eyes roll, as it was, he should have almost been able to hear it. 

“Come on Remus, Please?”

“MacDonald, Brown, Evans-” Remus ticked the names off on his fingers. 

“Evans saw us sleeping?” A grin was beginning to play over Sirius’s face. 

“No, she knocked and waited politely at the door.”

“James slept through Lily Evans visiting our room?” Both boys glanced across the room to where James was still sound asleep. “He’s going to hate that.”

“Didn’t plan on telling him, personally.”

“Aw, come on, where’s the fun in that?” Sirius lamented, flopping back onto his covers with a thud, before popping back up. “ _ How _ are they still asleep?”

“Haven’t the foggiest. I’ve got some ink in my bag though.”

“Oh but Remmy, whatever would we do with something like that?” Dark as the room was, eyes were alight with mischief.

“Well, see, I was thinking…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments? Questions? Concerns? Something not making sense? Did I forget about something? Have ideas you'd like to see? Please let me know in the comments or as a PM. It honestly makes my day- and it also gives a bit of an ego boost, but that's not the point.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> One Eyed Wolf, OVER, 02 Sept 2019


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